A/N: Below are links to pictures of Kate's house and the outfits Bella and Tanya wear in this chapter. Don't forget to remove the spaces. There is also the list of songs that are mentioned in this chapter.
This is my Tanya; http : / i52 . tinypic . com / 20u2wx0 . jpg - Candice Accola, who plays Caroline in The Vampire Diaries. I love her.
Bella's swimsuit: http : / i53 . tinypic . com / 32zi8f7 . jpg
Bella's Outfit: http : / i53 . tinypic . com / 2zg5ath . jpg
Tanya's Swimsuit: http : / i53 . tinypic . com / 2d6tzf9 . jpg
Tanya's Outfit: http : / i51 . tinypic . com / 2ld840p . jpg
Bella's performance outfit: http : / i51 . tinypic . com / 242d409 . jpg
Kate's Cottage: http : / i51 . tinypic . com / b4j2fp . jpg
Kate's Living Room: http : / i55 . tinypic . com / igx27k . jpg
Kate's Dining Room: http : / i55 . tinypic . com / wlzn0l . jpg
Kate's Kitchen: http : / i55 . tinypic . com / oata8k . jpg
Songs:
Teenage Dream – Katy Perry.
My Immortal – Evanescence.
Cosmic Love – Florence & The Machine.
A little bit longer – Sarah Evans. (I made the tempo of this song faster than it originally is – here's the link to download it; http : / www . sendspace . com / file / r26msa )
Chapter Twenty Four – (New life)
BPOV
It's been a week since my first day of work at the Diner. Tanya wasn't kidding about having to work ridiculously early hours sometimes. I didn't know what the hell was happening when she jumped on top of me this morning while I was still asleep. She almost gave me a damn heart attack. I groan in annoyance when she doesn't move and applies all of her weight on top of me.
"God, Tanya. Get off of me, you beast!" I whine. She giggles into the covers before looking up at me.
"I love that you're not a morning person, It's so much fun to torment you," she says, a smirk plastered on her face.
"I'm glad I amuse you," I mumble before narrowing my eyes at her, causing her to start laughing again before she says,
"I made you a coffee. It's on the bedside table."
"Good. I need some caffeine after that," I say before pushing her off of me and crawling out of bed. I glance over at Tanya to see her climbing off of my bed with a grin on her face. A smile automatically forms on my lips as I think about how close we've come within a week.
"I should take that coffee from you for calling me a beast," she says as she makes her towards me, a serious expression on her face. I back away from her with a horrified look on my face.
"Don't you even dare think about taking this from me, Tanya. I won't be able to control my impulses to hurt you."
"Pfft, what are you gonna do? Call me more names?"
"You know I can defend myself if I have to."
"That I do, you psycho," she says through a laugh. My face falls at the statement as it brings back all of my bad memories with Lauren and Jessica back in Forks. She seems to realize this as she takes in my expression and abruptly stops laughing.
"Shit. Sorry, Bells. I didn't mean it like that, I swear."
"I know," I reply quietly, looking up at her and giving her a small smile before adding, "Just brought up bad memories."
"Sorry," she apologizes again.
"It's okay, honestly. Let's go eat some breakfast," I reassure her before linking her arm with mine and leading us to the kitchen.
We both decide on having Cheerios for breakfast. Tanya makes another coffee for herself, but I ask for a cup of tea instead.
"Ergh, why do we have to go into work so early anyway? No one ever comes in until after nine," I complain.
"You know we have to help Gazza set up, B. He can't do it all himself."
"I know, I just hate being up this early. It isn't human."
"No, you're just lazy," she says through a laugh. I flip her off and she pokes her tongue out at me in return.
"Alright, hurry up and go get dressed so we can get going."
"Fineeee," I say through a sigh before climbing off of the stool and heading back into my room.
I have a quick shower before getting dressed into my work shirt and black high wasted skirt. I pin on my name badge before beginning on my hair. I grab my fringe with more of the hair from the sides of my face, braiding it and then pulling it to the back of my head and pinning it in place. I do the same with the other hair on the side of my head before running my hands through the rest of my hair. I throw on some eyeliner and mascara before putting on a bit of lip gloss. I pick up my phone from my bedside table and put it in my handbag, along with my lip-gloss. I put on my black and white converse before meeting Tanya back in the lounge room.
"Ready?"
"Yep. Do you have my keys?" I ask.
"Yeah, here," she says before throwing them to me.
I walk out of the apartment with Tanya following behind me.
Garrett is sitting at the front desk when Tanya and I walk into the Diner. He looks up and smiles at us as we enter. He jumps off and hands us our aprons.
"Hey, girls. How are we this fine morning?" He asks. Over chipper for someone who's been up since 6:00AM. Weirdo.
"How are you so cheerful at this hour?"
"I keep forgetting you're only seventeen."
"Whatever, it's not normal."
I quirk my brow at him causing him to roll his eyes at me, a smile forming on his face before walking away from us and into the kitchen. Tanya is snickering beside me so I give her my pretend bitch face before walking into the storeroom and grabbing a few trays and placing the knives and forks on them along with the salt and pepper shakers. I pick up a tray and head back out to the floor and begin placing them on all the tables. Tanya organizes the music system and then gets all the menus ready. Teenage Dream by Katy Perry comes on over the speakers causing a smile to form on my lips. Tanya turns up the volume; I glance over to see her walking out of the back room with a huge smile on her face. This is pretty much our jam. We always crank up the volume when it comes onto the radio in my truck. My body automatically begins to bop to the beat of the song. I see Tanya come out from behind the desk, she begins to walk towards me so I pick up a salt shaker and turn to face her as the chorus comes around for the second time. We begin to belt out the chorus together, making over exaggerated gestures with our arms and pointing to each other as we sing.
"My. Heart. Stops, when you look at me. Just. One. Touch, now baby I believe." We sing in unison with huge smiles on our faces. "So take a chance and don't ever look back. Don't ever look back!"
"I'mma get your heart racing in my skin tight jeans, be your teenage dream tonight." I laugh softly at her as she runs her hands across her body as she continues to sing the rest of the bridge. I swear it's her favorite part of the song. She has a really nice voice though. We close the distance between us and hold hands as the chorus comes around for the third time.
"Youuuuuu, make mee," I belt out the high note with everything I can muster as she remains singing the rest of the song. She has a huge grin on her face and begins to jump around with excitement, her hands still in mine. I join her in the fun as we carry on with the rest of the song together. When the next song doesn't come on we look over to the back storage door with confusion on our faces. I notice Garrett standing in the doorway to the kitchen with a huge grin on his face.
"Man, you girls can sing. Especially you, Bella."
"Thanks," Tanya and I reply together. We look at each other and laugh quietly.
"I can't sing as good as her though, Gazza. You're crazy if you think otherwise. This girl has a gift."
I blush at the compliment. I look at Tanya to see her smiling down at me.
"Bella, how do you feel about singing during the bar nights? During your hours, of course, so you'll be getting paid for it."
"Oh, really? Wow. I'm a bit self conscious about singing in front of a lot of people though…"
"You were just jumping around with me, belting out the high notes with pride. Just do it, woman!" Tanya encourages me excitedly.
"But that was just you with Garrett out the back. I've never sang in front of a crowd before. I'll be a nervous wreck!"
"Okay, well if you're that self conscious about it, I know a lovely lady who can give you voice coaching lessons. On the house."
I bite my bottom lip as they both look at me expectantly. I feel the smile form on my lips before I answer, "Okay, sure."
"Awesome! You're gonna break the house down," Garrett booms confidently.
Tanya puts her hand up for a high five, and I slap my hand against hers just before our first customers walk through the door. Tanya turns and walks over to greet them while I set up the rest of the tables.
On Wednesday, Garrett decides to close the Diner so we can all have a day off and go down to the beach. I put on my black bathing suit that is cut open on the sides. I wear my dark blue denim short shorts with a loose white shirt that has New York printed on it over the top of my swimsuit. Tanya wears her light blue denim shorts, a thin black studded belt and loose black long sleeved button up shirt over the top of her bright red bikini.
I make up some salad and ham bread rolls while Tanya organizes the drinks, sunscreen and towels. I back up all the food into a picnic basket just as Tanya walks back into the room.
"Garrett is meeting us there so he doesn't have to try to squeeze into the middle of your truck."
"Typical," I reply through a laugh before adding, "Are you ready to go?"
"Yep. How's the food organizing going?"
"I just made salad bread rolls. That's gonna be okay, right?" I ask uncertainly.
"Yeah that's gonna be fine, don't stress. If he doesn't like it, he can go buy his own food."
I give her a grateful smile before picking up my keys and picnic basket and heading for the front door. I hear my phone beep; I take it out of my pocket and sigh at what it says on the screen. One new voice mail message – Edward.I listen to all of the messages Edward ever leaves for me, along with Alice's and Rosalie's. Even Jasper and Emmett have given it a try. I open the message to hear Edward begging me to call him back or to actually pick up the phone when he calls. I always imagine what I would say to him if I ever did pick up when he called or if I ever did call him back. It's always so good to hear his voice, so smooth and soft like velvet; it instantly calms me and puts me at ease for some reason. I really hope he's doing okay and that I didn't hurt him too much. I wonder if he ever thinks about me? I ask myself. Does he think I'm perfectly fine or does he know how lonely I get without him sometimes? Even with Tanya and Garrett here to keep me company. Time sometimes just slips right past me and I get caught up in the moment of wishing I didn't have to listen to his voice through a cell phone and that I could just have him by my side. I wish that I could tell him how much I miss him and how much I really need him. As the message goes on, my heart constricts at hearing the sadness in his voice. I can hear the hope in his voice disappearing with each sentence. I really hope he doesn't think I've moved onto somebody else because no one could ever take his place in my heart.
"You okay?" Tanya asks, pulling me out of my thoughts. I look at her to see the concern clear in her eyes. "Is it from Edward again? Why don't you call him back? You miss him, I can tell," she adds.
"I can't do that. I haven't sorted everything out yet."
"What's there to sort out? You love him, you miss him, and you want him. So call him."
"It's not that simple, Tanya! What if I end up wanting to go back to Forks?"
"I'd understand," she says quietly.
I run my hand over my face as a frustrated sigh escapes my lips. "I can't just leave you like that. you've become one of my best friends."
"They were your friends first, B. You can't just forget about them–"
"No, don't," I say pointedly, cutting her off before adding, "I'm not discussing this anymore."
I put my phone back in my pocket before walking down to my truck.
"Ahhh, put me down!" I squeal as Garrett throws me over his shoulder and runs towards the water.
"Chuck her in, Gazza!" Tanya yells.
"Oh my god, don't you dare listen to her!" I yell.
I look up to see Tanya running down after us with a huge, amused grin on her face. I flip her off as I continue to laugh and yell at Garrett to let me go. He must be as clumsy as me because he falls straight forward, his arms still around me as we hit the water. I fall backwards and a small wave crashes into my back just as I sit up.
"I hate you!" I yell through a laugh before pouncing on him.
I hear Tanya yell "Stacks onnnn!" before I feel her body pounce on top of mine and Garrett's. Another wave comes forward and clatters over us, causing Tanya and I to fall off of Garrett and our bodies get tangled together.
"Fucking hell, you girls are such oafs sometimes!" Garrett booms through laughter.
"Oi! – Hey!" Tanya and I scold him at the same time before jumping back on top of him.
Once we finish having our fun in the water, we make our way back to our stuff. There are so many guys staring at Tanya and I.
"Sorry boys, I don't bat on your team!" She yells at the overly obvious lurkers as well as giving them a sickly sweet smile, causing Garrett and I to crack up with laughter at their responding expressions. Once we sit down and finish our laughing session, we gorge down our salad rolls and drinks.
I can't seem to get my mind off of Edward. I'm trying to live without him, but everything just seems to remind me of him. Every time I see the color green, all I can think about is his beautiful eyes. When I watch movies and I see the lead male smirk, all I think about is Edward's intoxicating crooked smile and how it always used to get my heart to beat erratically. Even this one time when Tanya was stressing out over work and she was pulling on her hair, it reminded me of when Edward would get frustrated and run his hands through his hair, gripping it so tightly to the extent that it looked like he was going to rip it out.
I can't seem to get over feeling so torn and empty. Since I've been here, I've been going out onto the balcony every night. I gaze up at the moon, wondering if he's doing the same thing. Just the thought that he's looking at the same sky as me is comforting sometimes. I don't know why I left him – he was the best thing that ever happened to me, but everything just felt way too good to be true. I thought everything was fine with my family when I was younger, but my mother ended up abandoning me. She told me she loved me everyday. She said she would never leave me, but she did. So when Edward made that next step, I just freaked out.
I can't help but think that it was the wrong decision to just pack up my stuff and leave. Charlie's probably dead by now for being so lazy, unless Harry is looking after him and making sure he's okay. I hope he is. As much as I hate him sometimes, I don't want him to die – I know he's hurting over Mom too. Argh! I just don't know what to do anymore. I messed everything up and I highly doubt anything will ever be the same again. I'd give anything to go back in time and change the past, but I can't. Which just sucks donkeys balls.
I can feel Tanya watching me closely throughout the whole day. I know I shouldn't have snapped at her but I can't bare the thought of losing someone else. She says she'd understand, but I'd just be doing what I did to Edward and the rest of the Cullen's. The only difference is that she would know why I left.
"Earth to Bellaaaa." Garrett pulls me out of my haunting thoughts.
"Sorry. What?"
"God, are you deaf or something?" he asks through a snort. I roll my eyes and look at him expectantly. "I organized a voice lesson for you this afternoon with Kate," he adds.
"I get to know her name now, do I?" I joke.
"Smartass. Is that alright though? It's at four."
"Yeah, that's cool. Thanks, Gazza." I give him a thankful smile before looking over at Tanya.
"Do you wanna come with me, Tan?"
"Yeah, sure. Kate's a blast to be around," she says sarcastically.
"You don't have to if you don't want to," I say, disappointment clear in my voice.
"Tanya, don't be a bitch."
"I'm not! I was only kidding…"
"Sure you were," Garrett continues to scold her.
I look at my watch and see that it's nearly 3 o'clock.
"Well we should probably get going then. I wanna have a shower before going."
"Yeah, me too," Tanya says quickly before Garrett can continue to put his two cents worth of comments in. It doesn't faze him though, because he continues to tease her anyway.
"You know where she lives right, Tanya?" Garrett asks with a smirk on his face.
"Shut up."
"What?" I ask confused.
"Tanya and Kate were lovers for a night," he says through a snort. I look over at Tanya to see her eyes narrowed at him.
"Oh. Why only for a night?"
"Kate is straight. She's actually my fiancée." Tanya groans in annoyance which causes Garrett to burst into hysteric laughter.
"Screw you, Garrett," she mumbles before picking up her towel and walking away. I go to pick up the picnic basket, but Garrett stops me.
"Don't worry about that, B. I'll bring it into work tomorrow and give it to Tanya. You have tomorrow off too, by the way. Rest your voice for Friday night."
I look down at him as he pats my hand. He's so sweet. He's like a big brother to me now. I couldn't stand leaving him too.
"Thanks, Garrett. For everything," I say quietly.
"No problem, sweetie. Now go have some fun singing." I smile softly at him before picking up my towel and walking away.
"Were you in love with her?" I ask Tanya as we make our way over to Kate's. She leans forward and turns off the radio before she answers me.
"Who?" she asks confused.
"Kate."
"What? No. What makes you say that?" she asks shocked.
"Just the way you were acting back at the beach."
"Bella, I was joking." I glance over at her out of the corner of my eyes. She quirks her brow and looks at me expectantly.
"Well you just seemed hurt by some of the things Garrett was saying –"
"He was joking too..." She pinches the bridge of her nose and leans back further into her seat. I glance back over at her. Her eyes meet mine and she rolls them at me before sighing and adding, "What happened between Kate and I was just a night of fun. Nothing more, nothing less. Garrett is like a brother to me. So it's just weird that they ended up hooking up and are now getting married."
"Are you not happy for them?"
"Of course I am; they're perfect for each other, it's just awkward whenever I'm around Kate."
"Well it would be after you guys, uh…" I glance over at her, giving her an embarrassed smile. She shakes her head at me before a smile forms on her lips and she begins to laugh.
"Kate is a great person. You'll love her. And I'm sure I'll get over the awkwardness one day, so don't stress it. I'll be fine."
I breathe a sigh of relief and nod my head as a small smile forms on my lips. She winks at me and gives me a thumbs up before turning the radio back on.
Kate lives in a medium sized cottage that looks like it belongs in a fairytale. It's a rectangular shape that is different shades of grey brick and cream fibro with a triangle roof where I assume the upstairs bedrooms would be placed. There are several sash and bow windows, creating a beautifully crafted open living system. There are red steps leading up to the front door, two pot plants placed on each side of the door. There is a small garden on both sides of the stairs, filled with yellow flowers and small green bushes that contain flowers that have not yet bloomed. The garden also surrounds the rest of the front of the house. Four pine trees are planted on both sides of the yard, two on each side with the same flowers that are along the front of the house.
I pull up to the curb and park my truck. I turn off the ignition, leaving my hands on the wheel as I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly before looking over at Tanya. She gives me an encouraging smile before unbuckling her seatbelt and climbing out. She meets me on my side of the truck just as I open my door and get out.
"What if she doesn't like my voice?" I ask Tanya nervously.
"Don't be ridiculous, your voice is amazing. If anything, she'll probably become filled with so much jealousy and refuse to give you more pointers."
My eyes go wide, causing her to laugh lightly to herself.
"Relax, B. I'm only kidding. You'll be fine, stop stressing!" She lays her arm across my shoulders and pulls me into to her side, hugging me tight before winding her arm through mine and leading us across the lawn and up the stairs. Tanya knocks on the door and when I hear footsteps on the other side, I begin to look at Tanya nervously. She rolls her eyes at me. Bitch.
Kate open the door with a wide smile on her face. "Hey girls!" she exclaims excitedly.
"Hey," Tanya and I greet her in unison. I notice that Tanya's eyes are directed towards the ground and she hasn't yet made eye contact with Kate.
"Haven't seen you in a while, Tan. I've missed you," Kate addresses Tanya, a hint of sadness in her voice causing Tanya to finally meet her eyes.
"Yeah, sorry. Been super busy at work and all that. Thank god Bella came along though, otherwise I would have had no life forever." She gives Kate a small smile in which Kate returns.
"Well come on in, lets get started."
I follow behind Tanya as she walks into the house. To the right is a white bench which allows you to look into the dining room. As we turn around the corner, I notice the floors are wooden floorboards and the walls are a light olive green color. There is a staircase to the left of us. We walk around to the right where you see that the dining room is an open room that is conjoined with the kitchen and living room. We walk through the dining room first. The table is a shiny timber which matches the floor. It seats six people and there are two fake pears placed on top of it. To the right I notice the white bench is actually built in with an array of cupboards. In the left corner, one of the cupboards travels up towards the roof. There are a series of glasses and sets of china placed inside them.
The next thing I take in is the kitchen. There is a white island bench in the middle of the room with built-in cupboards on each side of it, which have glass doors and escalates a few centimeters in height. A bowl of fruit is placed on top of set bench with an array of plates, bowls and mugs placed inside it. The top of the middle bench is dark brown glass stone, a built in sink on the other side of it. There are two black chair stools placed before the bench, a floral rectangle rug lays before them atop of the floor boards. To the left there's a stainless steel double door fridge. There are light olive green wooden cupboards to the left and right sides above the kitchen bench which matches the colour scheme of her walls. A double door window is placed between the top cupboards and an oven is installed to the right of the bench with a microwave positioned above it. It's beautiful.
The living room is that last room. A landscape painting hangs on the wall above the wide gas fireplace, which has built in wooden cabinets that are conjoined to open shelves with a series of books and DVD's placed in them. Two dark brown leather couches sit in front of a three length sash window; a small table is positioned between the couches with a lamp and small photo frame placed on top of it. To the right is a mustard colored lounge with matching cushions placed on top along with a floral printed pillow. A matching recliner is located to the left of the room. There is a glass coffee table which is located in the middle of the room, a basket of flowers on top of it. A cream rug is situated under the table and pans out across the floor.
"Wow Kate, your house is so beautiful. It's got a sort of olden day theme to it," I tell her in awe.
"Oh that's exactly what I was aiming for. I'm glad you like it!"
"You should have seen her trying to design it – she was like a mad woman."
"Hey, now. I can't help being a perfectionist."
"Don't I know it," Tanya mumbles. I look between them to see they both have playful smiles on their faces. Looks like Tanya's awkwardness is finally beginning to fade away. A smile forms on my lips at their bantering.
"Anyway, do you guys want a cup of tea before we start?" she asks as she walks into the kitchen.
"Yeah, thanks. That'd be great."
"No thanks, I'm good," Tanya says politely.
"How many sugars, Bella?"
"Just two, thanks."
She walks over to her cupboards and pulls out two mugs. She puts the kettle on, and then goes to the fridge and pulls out the milk. She places it on the counter before grabbing the teabags out of one of the jars. She puts the sugars in and then turns back around to face us, her back leaning against the counter.
"So have you thought about what you want to work on during these lessons?"
"Garrett just organized you to work with her because she's self conscious about singing during bar nights." I glance at Tanya to see her rolling her eyes.
"I just haven't sang in front of a crowed before." I narrow my eyes at her before looking back to Kate. She purses her lips, trying to hide her smile.
"Gaz was telling me about that. He said you have a pretty amazing voice–"
"She does," Tanya says cutting her off. I blush at the compliment and bite my bottom lip.
"I wouldn't say it's amazing," I reply quietly.
"I'll be the judge of that," Kate says with a smirk. The kettle pops, signaling that it's ready. Kate turns back around and pours in the hot water, dunking the tea strings up and down before putting the milk in. She stirs the tea with a spoon and leaves the teabags inside. She places my tea in front of me and smiles before walking around to us.
"Alright, let's head into the living room so we can get started."
Tanya and I follow after her into the living room. She places two coasters on top of the coffee table and places her tea on top of one of them. I place my cup on top of the other one before sitting down on the sofa next to Tanya.
"What song to do you want to sing?" Kate asks.
"I was thinking of My Immortal by Evanescence?" I tell her, stating the sentence as a question.
"Sounds great. I'll go get the instrumental track."
She turns and walks out of the room. She returns within a few minutes. She puts the cd into the player. I look around the room and notice she has surround sound speakers. The piano begins to play and I take a few deep breaths before I begin to sing. I start off singing so quietly that I can hardly hear myself. I play with the hem of my sleeves and look down at the ground. My voice automatically becomes louder as I enter the chorus.
"When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you would scream, I'd fight away all of your fears." I make my voice go a bit higher and linger on certain words. "But you still have, all of me."
I glance at Tanya and then Kate, smiling at them nervously before i continue into the second verse, focusing on my diaphragm, making my voice become louder with each sentence of the song. I pull up all the energy I can before I begin the chorus for the second time. I glance at Tanya to see she has a huge smile on her face. I look over to Kate to see her expression matches Tanya's. A soft sigh escapes my lips before I prepare for the vitality that's needed to sing the verse before the last chorus.
"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone…" I force my voice to go higher as I reach the end of the sentence. "But though you're still with me, I've been alone all aloooong." A smile forms on my lips as I hit the high note perfectly. I let out long breath before continuing the rest of the song.
When the track finishes, I glance between Tanya and Kate, waiting for them to say something. I begin to fidget with my sleeves again before Kate finally says something.
"Wow."
"Right? Told you she was amazing."
"Bella, you have a serious gift. You don't need my help, so what are you worried about?" Kate praises me. I smile at her before shrugging my shoulders.
"I don't know. Nothing apparently, but I'd like to keep coming to the lessons though."
"Oh of course you can. We can probably work on your stage presence and organize set lists for you to perform."
"I'm down with that."
"Maybe you guys could even write up some of your own songs and compose some melodies together," Tanya adds.
"That's a fantastic idea, Tan!" Kate exclaims before turning to me and adding, "What do you think, Bella?"
"Sounds great," I say with a smile on my face. I glance at Tanya and she gives me a thumbs up.
"Do you want to work on your set list now? You start on Friday, don't you?" Kate asks.
"Uh, yeah."
"I'll go grab some paper and pens," Tanya says before standing up and walking into the dining room.
"Do you have any songs you're set on singing?"
"I was thinking of Cosmic Love by Florence and the Machine and A Little bit Stronger by Sara Evans."
Tanya comes back into the room and hands us each a pen and small pad of paper.
"They're both amazing. And what about Someone Like You by Adele?"
"Man, you have to do that song, Bella. You would nail it," Tanya adds
"Yeah, I'll do that song. But do you think Garrett will be okay if I just start out with only two songs my first night?"
"Oh, he'll be fine with that, honey."
"Yeah, he'll want to make sure you're comfortable," Tanya says matter-of-factly. Kate takes a sip of her tea before writing down the songs for Friday night and turning over a new page.
"So we'll add Someone Like You to a later set list then?" she asks. I nod my head and smile at her.
"We should make her second performance slow songs. Show of her talent," Tanya says before giving me a smile.
"Got any other song ideas?" Kate asks.
"Need," I say straight away before adding, "I'll do Need by Hana Pestle."
"Yessssssss," Tanya says while nodding her head vigorously. Kate nods her head with a smile on her face as well before writing down the two songs.
We continue to organize a few more songs for me to sing, switching up the genre's of songs and artists. Tanya and I spend a few hours at Kate's before realizing the time and heading home. Tanya chats my ear off on the way back home. Gushing about how great it's going to be to see me up on the stage singing my heart out. She makes me laugh a few times about how she keeps bragging abut how amazing it's going to be. Then she got even more excited when I asked if I should have a few musicians up there with me, and she said she'd love to play the piano and guitar for me a few times and she knows some people who play the drums and guitar. She rang Garrett instantly and squealed in excitement when he agreed that it was a good idea.
When we arrive home, I drag myself up the stairs and jump in the shower. Tanya and I have a cup of tea before we both call it a night and go to bed. I pull my phone out of my bag and listen to my voice mails again. I feel the tears form in my eyes before they spill down my face. I can't take getting all these messages anymore. I ring up my phone company, praying to God that they'll still be open. Luck must be with me because someone picks up. I ask them if I can disconnect my number. They ask for my number and I give it to them. The man said it should be done by tomorrow afternoon. I ask what will happen if someone continues to ring me. My heart sinks when he tells me an automatic message will play, saying that the number is now disconnected and no longer in use. That's going to kill Edward. Why am I such a horrible person?
I lay down in bed and pull the covers up over me as a sob escapes me. I silently cry myself to sleep.
"Argh, what am I supposed to wear anyway?" I exclaim, digging through my draws and throwing piles of clothes everywhere. I am filled with nerves about singing in front of everyone tonight. The diner gets pretty busy during Friday nights when it's turned into a bar, so my anxiety has sky rocketed.
"Would you calm down?" Tanya says as she walks into my room. Her eyes go wide as she takes in my clothes strewn all over the room. "Jesus Christ, it's like a tornado was here!" she adds through a laugh.
"Tanya, this isn't funny! I don't know what I'm meant to wear. Am I meant to take a spare of clothes for after I clock off from the bar or what?"
"Wow. Breathe, woman. Just wear what you're gonna wear on stage. You'll have a bar apron on over the top, so it's not like anyone's going to see your clothes…"
She walks across the room and begins to scavenge through the different piles of clothes that I've created. She pulls out a pair of my black skinny leg jeans and throws them on the bed. She goes to the next pile of clothes which is pretty much just a bunch of dresses. She pulls out a strapless dress the colors black, blue and dark turquoise meshed together with faded roses printed on it.
"There you go, wear that. I'll go get you some of my jewelry."
I give her a grateful smile before she walks out of my room. She returns quickly with a thick gold necklace that looks like a tangled snake. She hands me thick gold hoop earrings that match and a pair of black heels that have the effect of looking like they have feathers on them. I take them from her and place them on my bed.
"Thanks, Tan. You're a life saver," I say through a sigh of relief.
"No problem. You'll look great, and sound great."
"I'm so nervous, though. My voice is going to sound terrible."
She closes the distance between us and places her hands on my shoulders. She waits for my eyes to meet hers before she says, "Don't be silly. You don't need to be nervous. You're going to be great." She gives me a reassuring smile before kissing me on the forehead and walking out of the room.
I turn back around to face my bed. I pull off my day clothes and replace them with the outfit Tanya organized for me. I go into the bathroom and run a few strands of my hair through the curling wand and then braid back my fringe. I keep my make up light and natural like I normally would. I walk back into my room and grab my phone and wallet, putting it in the blue purse Tanya also gave me. I head out into the living room to see Tanya sitting on one of the stools in the kitchen. She looks up as I enter the room, a grin forming on her face.
"You look great!"
"Thanks."
"Alright, let's get going!" she exclaims excitedly.
On the way over to the diner, I turn on the radio to sing along with the radio. Just to warm up my voice and to get rid of some of my nerves. I try to remember what Kate told me to do — Take deep breaths before I go on stage, be confident, keep a smile on my face, make sure to breathe properly before certain notes when I'm singing and most of all just have fun with it. Have fun. Right. That's going to be so easy when I'm a nervous wreck, isn't it?
Tanya and I arrive before bar night has opened. I go straight to the bar and put on my apron. I tie up my hair as I begin to get all the glasses and spirits ready to serve. The bar is packed within two hours of opening. Every week it's been getting packed earlier and earlier. I look up and see Garrett walk into the bar. I give him a smile as I continue to pour drinks for the customers.
"It's Showtime," he says with a grin on his face. My eyes go wide and my palms automatically begin to sweat again.
"What? Already?" I ask shocked.
"Yep. Are you ready to go?"
"Ready as I'll ever be," I mumble nervously. He walks away and I look over at the stage. I must have been too busy to notice Garrett setting up the stage. I hand the two girls their drinks and then put up the sign that says a new bar staff will be back within five minutes. I go out into the back room to hunt down Tanya. She's sitting in the corner, eating a salad. She looks up at me when I walk into the room. I take off my apron and pull out my hair. I grab my purse and pull out my make up and re apply it before sitting down in the chair and begin to start my calming breaths.
"Are you okay?" Tanya asks concerned.
"Yeah, just really nervous."
"Oh, It's Showtime is it? Shit, you should have told me. I'm meant to cover the Bar while you're on stage." She continues to gorge down the rest of her salad before wiping her face with a napkin. I can't stop the laugh that escapes my lips.
"Tan, I don't think I can do this," I say quietly. I feel her hands on my knees before I see her kneeling down in front of me.
"You'll be fine, B. Just take deep breaths, and just think of the feeling you get when you're singing."
"What feeling?" I ask confused.
"I don't know, they're your feelings. You just always get this expression on your face every time you sing. I can tell you enjoy it."
"Oh."
"And if that doesn't work, just look over to me at the bar, okay? Forget anyone else is in the room. Just pretend it's just you and me mucking around."
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. I nod my head and give her a thankful smile before standing up and walking out to Garrett.
"Okay, I'm ready to go."
"Great. Kate's in the audience just to let you know."
"Cool."
"Get out there and rock it, B!" He exclaims excitedly before playfully slapping me on the bottom as I walk away.
Everyone's eyes turn to me as I walk up on stage. I continue to take deep breaths to calm my nerves before plastering on a smile and walking over to the microphone.
"Hi, I'm Bella. I'm going to be singing a few songs for you guys tonight."
Everyone erupts into encouraging cheers and I think I hear a wolf whistle out in the crowd somewhere. I feel the blush creep into my cheeks.
"The first song I'll be singing is Cosmic Love by Florence and the Machine."
Two dark haired boys walk up on stage. They must be the drummer and guitarist Tanya knows. They both grin at me before taking their positions and beginning to play the melody.
"A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes," I sing softly, letting some of the notes linger just as Florence Welch does when she sings it.
I run my hands up the microphone stand before placing my hands over the microphone. I glance over at Tanya; she smiles at me and nods her head to let me know I'm doing fine. I continue the rest of the verse and then head into the chorus before I look out to the crowd to see everyone's eyes are focused on me. I notice Kate in the crowed. She waves at me and I feel a smile form on my lips. I remember what she told me and I keep eye contact with them. I take another breath before starting the second verse.
"And in the dark I can hear your heartbeat. I try to find the sound." I leave a few seconds before I continue the verse.
"But then it stopped it and I was in the darkness, so darkness I became." I then head straight into the chorus for the second time.
"The stars the moon, they have all been blown out, you've left me in the dark." I continue to take breaths at the right times before closing my eyes as I focus on my voice during this section of harmonizing in the song, my voice going higher as I make the notes linger on.
"I took the stars from my eyes and then I made a map, and knew that somehow I could find my way back. Then I heard your heart beating you were in the darkness too. So I stayed in the darkness with you." I finish the sentence quietly, the boys stop playing the instruments for a few seconds before continuing the melody of the chorus again. I make my way through the chorus too, resting my hand on my stomach as I focus on my diaphragm to prepare myself for the high lingering notes that are in the ending chorus.
"In the shadow of your hea-ar-aart" I cry out the high notes before taking another breath and forcing my voice to hit the rest of the notes perfectly.
I continue the last harmonizing notes of the song, making my voice go higher on the last note and letting it break off gradually. I continue to stand on stage as the boys continue to play the rest of the melody. Everyone erupts into applause, causing a grin to form on my lips.
"Thank you. We're just going to take a small break."
I turn around and walk over to the boys.
"Hey, I'm Alec." He puts his hand out. I smile at him before taking his hand in mine. Alec has dark brown hair trimmed semi short and pale skin to match it. His figure is tall and slim. His face is both angelically beautiful along with having captivating wide blue eyes.
"Nice to meet you. I'm Bella."
"Oh, we know that," says the other boy. I turn to look at him and he smiles at me. He's very tall, and thick through the shoulders. He has short, cropped black hair that spikes a little at the front. The complexion of his skin is slightly olive. He also has blue eyes.
"I'm Felix, by the way. You have an amazing voice," he adds. I blush at the compliment and tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear.
"Thanks. You guys are great back here with the instruments."
"It took me a lot of practice. Unlike this little shit here, he was born with the natural talent."
Alec hits Felix in the arm with one of his drum sticks causing Felix to retaliate with his fist. Alec winces and leans away from him, cussing under his breath.
"Don't start something you can't finish, little bro," Felix teases.
"Now, now, boys. Be nice." I turn around to see Kate walking up the side steps of the stage. She walks over to us and I envelop her in a hug. She smiles at me after pulling away.
"You did great out there, honey."
"I was so nervous in the beginning."
"You couldn't even tell. I just came up to ask if you want me to play the acoustic guitar and sing back up for A Little Bit Stronger."
"Really? That would be so great. Thanks, Kate!" I say ecstatically.
"Speaking of the next song, I wanted to ask you guys to make the tempo of the song faster?" I state the sentence as a question, my bottom lip trapped between my teeth.
"No problem, gorgeous," Alec says before winking at me and asking, "You ready to go again?"
"Yep." I smile at both of them before walking back to the front of the stage. Everyone claps again, causing my light smile to form into a grin.
"Thank you. Would you all please give it up for Alec and Felix back there on the drums and electric guitar."
Everyone cheers and claps for them. I turn around to see both of them standing and taking bows and doing the royal wave. I shake my head at them as a laugh escapes my lips.
I turn back to the audience and speak again. "I'm only performing two songs tonight–" I'm cut off by everyone's groans of disappointment. I laugh softly into the microphone before continuing what I was saying. "Sorry. This last song is called A Little Bit Stronger by Sara Evans. My friend Kate is going to join us on the acoustic guitar and she's going to sing back up."
Kate begins the song off with her acoustic guitar and Felix joins in with his electric guitar soon after.
"Woke up late today and I, still feel the sting of the pain but I, brush my teeth anyway. I got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face. I got a little bit stronger."
Alec joins in with his drums. I take the microphone off of the stand as I begin the second part of the first verse. I change the tone of my voice, making it raspier and giving it that country tone to it. I walk over to Kate and stand beside her before the chorus starts. I rest my arm on her shoulder as we sing together in unison, our voices matching beautifully. She smiles at me before she stops singing and leaves it to me to finish the rest of the chorus by myself.
I can't remove the smile that's on my face as I skip my way back to the front of the stage and begin to sing the second verse. I bop back to forth, tapping my hand to the beat on my thigh. Kate joins me again in the chorus, this time making her way to me at the front of the stage as she continues to play her guitar. She walks back to her stool and sits down as she lets me finish the end of the chorus by myself again.
"I know my heart will never be the same, but I'm tellin' myself I'll be okay. Even on my weakest day-ay-ays. I get a little bit stronger. I get a little bit stonger-er-er"
I turn around and dance my way over to Felix and lean my back against his, he returns the gesture as he plays his guitar during the instrumental. I spin around and face the crowd as I continue to dance next to him before I begin to sing again.
"I get along without you, baby. I'm better off without you baby, how does it feel without me baby? I'm gettin' stronger without you baaabyyy."
I place my hand across my heart as I head back into the chorus, letting my voice linger on the notes. I can't imagine what Edward would think if he saw me singing this song. I wouldn't want him to misinterpret it, because I don't feel like this at all. He never dragged my heart around. I know he loved me and I love him too. I think next week I'll sing songs that to relate more to my emotions, even though they may actually make me breakdown on stage. Alec and Felix join in with the back up during the end of the song as I repeat the title of the song.
"I get a little bit stronger." I sing the last note quietly. I'm not stronger without him. I miss him so much. As the crowd erupts into applause once again, I feel a lone tear fall down my face even though I'm smiling. I look over to Tanya, she throws the be back in 10 minutes sign as soon as she takes in my expression and runs up onto the stage.
"Hey guys! Wasn't she great?" she says as I try to get a hold of my emotions.
"Did you know she's also our bartender here? She makes an excellent cocktail! Anyway, thanks for supporting her. She'll be back next week!" I give her a thankful smile as she looks over to me and winds her arm through mine and leads me to the back of the stage.
"You alright, Bella?"
"Yeah I'm fine, Alec. Thanks for tonight, you did great." I smile at him before looking over at Felix. "You too, Felix," I add, a blush creeping into my cheeks at my mistake of leaving him out.
"No problem, Kiddo. Can't wait for next week." He walks forward and kisses me, Tanya and Kate on our cheeks before walking off the stage.
"Me too. We should all hang out before then though," Alec says as he walks out from around his drum set.
"Sounds great," I say before giving him a polite smile.
"You truly have an outstanding voice, Bella," he says quietly. He blushes lightly before taking my hand in his and placing a kiss on the top of it. "See you later, girls," he says to Kate and Tanya before walking away.
"Well that's one way to get guys after you," Kate says absentmindedly. My body stiffens and Tanya must have felt it because she gives Kate an icy look before speaking.
"She doesn't want guys after her, Kate. She's already in love with someone else," she says in a cold tone before dragging me away. Her tone doesn't seem to have fazed Kate because she follows behind us.
"Sorry, Bella. I didn't know," she says quietly. I stop Tanya from dragging me away any further before I turn around to face Kate.
"It's alright. My heads just really chaotic right now." I smile softly at her. "And Tanya shouldn't have spoken to you like that," I add pointedly, jabbing Tanya in the side of the ribs. She rolls her eyes at me before looking at Kate.
"Sorry, Kate," she mumbles. This time I'm the one who rolls my eyes. A smile forms on Kate's lips before she laughs quietly.
"It's okay, Tan. I know you're protective of her, but you really need to get over whatever issues it is you have toward me because I miss you." She closes the distance between them and takes Tanya by surprise when she wraps her arms around her shoulders and hugs her. It takes a few seconds for Tanya to respond, but she eventually wraps her arms around Kate's waist and hugs her back.
"You were like a sister to me, Tan," Kate mumbles, causing Tanya to step away from her abruptly.
"Saying that is just weird after what we did, Kate."
"I know. But I felt like that before that night happened. I hope I didn't hurt you."
"Of course you hurt me. You had sex with me then you ended up dating the guy who is the closest thing I have to a brother. And now you're engaged to him."
"Tan, calm down," I tell her quietly as I rub her arm.
"I was drunk, Tanya. I didn't know what I was doing."
"You told me you loved me–"
"I do love you. Just not in that way… I'm sorry," Kate says so quietly I'm not quite sure I heard her. She wipes at her eyes before looking back up at Tanya. I look at Tanya and give her a pointed look.
Tanya closes her eyes and lets out a deep sigh. "It's fine," she says sternly. "I'm not in love with you, Kate. I'm just hurt about what this has caused," she adds in a softer tone.
"I know. I'm sorry."
"You don't have to keep apologizing. Can we just act as if that night never happened?"
"Of course we can," Kate says relieved.
"Well, okay then. I could go for a cup of tea right now," I say through a shaky laugh.
"God, Bella. You're such a grandma sometimes," Tanya jokes through a laugh. I narrow my eyes at her and flip her off before walking away and heading into the kitchen. I make myself my grandma cup of tea and sit in the chair in the corner. Garrett walks in with a huge grin on his face.
"Everyone loves you!" He booms happily. "What are you doing in here? Get out there and have some fun."
"I'm seventeen, Garrett."
"And? Doesn't mean you can't go out and dance or whatever it is you girls do." He winks at me before walking out of the room.
I sigh before finishing my cup of tea and running my hands through my hair. I go back outside and find Tanya and Kate on the dance floor. They smile at me as I approach them, both dancing their way to me. They reach their arms out and drag me onto the middle of the dance floor with them. Blow by Kesha comes on over the sound system. Tanya and I look to each other, grins on our faces because we always turn the volume all the way up when it comes on the radio. When that song is finished, I go to the bar and ask Jane to get me three glasses of water. I take them over to the booth Tanya and Kate are sitting at. I slide in the opposite side of them. Kate eventually excuses herself to go find Garrett, and then Tanya goes to the bathroom, leaving me all by myself.
A young man slides into the seat across from me. He's quite muscular but average-looking. He has light brown hair that is cropped short. But there isn't anything remarkable about his face or body at all. But I can sense that he's a proud man. And a predator by the way he's looking at me.
"Hi, there. I'm James."
"Um. Hi. Bella."
"You were the one singing right? Great voice."
"Thanks."
"You're beautiful too. Can I buy you a drink?" His eyes run over my body, making me shiver from disgust. He takes that as a good sign and smirks at me.
"I'm only seventeen."
"So? What teenager doesn't drink underage?" He jokes through a laugh, which quite frankly, gives me the bejeebees.
"Uh, sorry. I'm just not into that. And no offence, but you seem a bit too old for me," I mumble nervously.
"That just means I have a lot of experience on the field, sweetheart." He runs his fingers down from my elbow to my palm. I pull my arm away and fold it across my chest. I look across the room to see Tanya. She quirks her brow at me and I silently try to tell her to come save me.
"I should probably go…" I say as I begin to get out from the booth. He's standing beside me within seconds, hovering over me like a some creeper. I glance over where Tanya was standing to see her striding across the room. I swallow the lump that's formed in my throat as he strokes my cheek.
"Come on, baby. We can go back to my place–"
"Hey, babe. Sorry I left you alone for so long," she says as she barges past James and wraps her arms around my shoulders and plants a kiss on my lips. I freeze on the spot for two seconds before I sigh in relief before she pulls away.
"That's okay," I reply quietly. I wrap my arm around her back and lean into her side. She turns us so we're facing James. She looks him up and down before speaking.
"I see you've met my girlfriend. And you are?" she asks innocently.
"James," he says through a cough, looking super uncomfortable. "I was just leaving," he adds.
"Oh, okay. Bye," she says nonchalantly. We watch him as he makes his way across the room and out of the front door. I step out of Tanya's arms and breathe a sigh of relief.
"You are a life saver. Thank you!" I say gratefully.
"No problem. Sorry about the whole lesbian action there. Thought it would get him off your back a lot quicker."
"It did, thank god. He was seriously giving me the creeps."
"He gave me the creeps from across the room. As soon as I saw your expression, I knew I had to save your sorry ass," she says through a laugh.
"I don't know what I'd do with you."
"I know," she says smugly.
I grin at her before giving her a hug. "I'm exhausted. Do you wanna head home?" I ask.
"Yesssss. I could sleep for a year, I'm that tired. I wish I was a bear so I could go into hibernation."
"That's only during winter, Tan," I tell her through a laugh.
"Whatever," she mumbles before throwing her arm across my shoulders and pulling me into her side. I wrap my arm around her back as we walk across the room and out to my truck.
As soon as we get home, we both have quick showers and then head straight to bed.
Thank God tomorrow is Saturday so we can sleep in.
When morning comes, Tanya walks into my room and crawls into my bed. I blink my eyes open, adjusting them to the light as a yawn escapes me. I glance at my radio clock to see that it's nearly midday.
"Morning, sleepy head," She says her voice still horse from sleep.
"How long have you been awake?"
"Not long. I came straight in here when I woke up," she says through a yawn.
I stretch out my muscles before groaning and rolling over to face her. I feel the corner of my lips begin to twitch. I purse my lips to hold back my laughter.
"What?" she asks confused.
"You have panda eyes." I snicker.
"I have what?"
I bury my head in the pillow as I can no longer hold in my laughter. I snort into the blankets as she picks up a pillow and belts me over the head with it.
"What are you talking about?" she exclaims. I get control of myself before looking back at her. A grin of amusement still on my face.
"All your eyeliner has run down under your eyes."
"How does that mean I have panda eyes?"
"Because Panda's fur around their eyes is black… So you look like a panda," I say through a snort.
She rolls her eyes at me before hitting me with the pillow again.
"You're such a brat," she mumbles before climbing out of bed and heading into my bathroom. When she walks back out, the eyeliner from under her eyes is gone. She climbs back into my bed and leans up against the headboard.
"How did you sleep?"
My body stiffens at her question. I didn't sleep all that well actually; I had that same nightmare I used to have when I was younger about when my mother left.
"Fine," I say quietly.
"I heard you crying in your sleep, Bella. And you were talking too." My eyes snap to hers, wide with shock. I know I talk in my sleep, but it's usually only mumbling. I must have been talking pretty loudly for her to hear me in her room.
"What was I saying?"
"You were saying 'Mommy, please come back.' Then you were shouting, 'I'm right here, Edward. No. Why are you fading? Why can't you hear me?'" she says quietly before looking me in the eyes.
"I was having nightmares," I mumble.
"Yeah, I figured that. Do you want to talk about it?"
I take a deep breath and close my eyes. "Not right now," I say so quietly I'm not quite sure she heard me. I open my eyes to look at her. She gives me a sympathetic smile and nods her head. She reaches over to me and wipes away a tear on my cheek. I didn't even feel it fall from my eyes.
Later in the night, Tanya and I decide to have dinner at home and have a movie night. She cracks open a bottle of wine and rolls her eyes at me when I quirk my brow at her.
"How do you have alcohol? You're underage like me."
"Garrett gave it to me," she says nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders.
"Can't he get in trouble for that? Can't we get in trouble for that?" I ask horrified.
"It's not like anyone is going to find out. Loosen up a little, would you?" she teases. "God, have you even been to a party when you lived in Forks?" she asks.
"No. I was too busy being depressed and isolated," I tell her, my tone icy.
"Jeez, sorry," she responds sarcastically.
I narrow my eyes at her before taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.
"In case you've forgotten, Tanya, I didn't have any friends until Edward and his family moved to Forks," I mumble.
"You had Jessica before, you know. You isolated her and pushed her away."
"Tanya!" I exclaim, hurt clear in my voice.
"What? It's true. I'm your friend - I'm not gonna sugar coat my thoughts for you. Cause what you did to her was pretty harsh, B."
"I was protecting myself." I mumble.
"From what?" she asks exasperatedly.
"I know now that I had nothing to worry about, okay? I was just very different back then. I had very bad insecurities. I still do," I say quietly.
"I know, but you have no reason to feel like you do. You have people in your life who love you. You shouldn't push them away."
"Why do you even care?" I mumble.
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you're the closest thing I have to a little sister and I don't want to see you close up like that and then run away from me too."
I glance over at her to see she has a serious expression on her face.
"I wouldn't leave, Tanya. Not without you, anyway."
"Good," she says before breathing a sigh of relief and smiling at me softly. "Anyway, lets get this movie night started!" she adds, popping the cork from the wine bottle.
She grabs two wine glasses and makes her way over to the lounge room. She pours the two glasses, and then places the wine bottle on the coffee table before sitting down next to me on the lounge. I grab the remote and press play. We've decided on watching Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince. When she told me she was obsessed with Harry Potter, I almost squealed with excitement like a 5 year old on Christmas morning. A smile forms on my lips at the memory.
We're completely engrossed while we're watching the movie. Both Tanya and I throw popcorn at the TV and yell insults to Ron when he begins to date Lavender, leaving Hermione feeling forever alone. But then we're both laughing our asses off when Hermione is sitting by Ron's side in the hospital wing after he gets poisoned and she gives a massive burn to Lavender before Ron calls out Hermione's name, causing Lavender to storm out of the room. We're laughing again hysterically when Harry takes the Felix Felicus potion, causing him to look and sound drunk. We're glued to the screen during the bathroom duel between Harry and Draco. Tanya makes me crack up when she says something about them having serious sexual tension and Harry should just dump Ginny's ass and get it on with Draco. We both have tears in our eyes when Harry and Dumbledore are in the cave and Harry has to force feed Dumbledore the poisoned water. Then we end up bawling our eyes out during the balcony scene where Draco is freaking out and then Snape comes gliding in and Avada Kedavra's Dumbledore off of the tower. We cried even more when Harry is crying over Dumbledore's body and then the whole school of Hogwarts put their wands to the sky to remove the Dark Mark. Yep. We are huge Potter Heads.
When the movie ends, we're halfway through the bottle of wine. We sit together on the couch and gush about how excited we are for Deathly Hallows to come out. Tanya looks over at me anxiously and I can tell she wants to bring up my nightmare again. So I'm not surprised when she says, "Do you want to talk about you're nightmare now?" She turns her body to face me after I nod my head at her. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly before beginning.
"I was hiding in the back seat of my mom's car. She was driving away from our house – she noticed me within a few minutes and pulled over to the side of the road. Then the next thing I know, I'm on the side of the road watching her drive away from me. Then the dream morphed into Edward and me at Thanksgiving."
"Oh," she says quietly. She gives me a supportive smile before I continue.
"Yeah. But instead of being at his house we were in the forest. And when I ran away from him, he followed me and didn't stop – then it was as though I just disappeared and he couldn't see me anymore. He spun around on the spot, and then continued to run through the forest, screaming out my name and begging me to come back. I was right beside him, though, shouting in his ear, telling him that I'm right next to him – I guess that's what you heard." She nods her head and stays silent. Waiting for me to continue.
"I saw the tears in his eyes before he collapsed to the ground. He just stayed there, lying in the dirt, not moving. Just a blank expression on his face, his eyes hollow. Then his silhouette just, eventually faded into nothing…" I tell her quietly, tears falling down my face. She scoots closer to me on the couch and wraps her arm around my shoulder.
"Well that deserves another drink," she says through a shaky laugh before pouring more wine into our glasses. "You miss him, I can tell," she adds.
"Not just him. But Alice and Rosalie as well. Even Jasper and Emmett."
"Have you thought about going back?"
"Everyday. But I can't, not after everything that's happened. I know I'm being selfish, but I don't know what I'll be walking back into if I go back. They probably hate me," I mumble.
"I doubt they hate you. Do you hate your mom?" she asks. I look into her eyes and shake my head.
"No," I say through a sigh. "I just want answers about why she left," I add quietly.
"See. I bet they feel the same."
"I wrote her a letter before I left Forks."
"Who, your mom?" she asks surprised.
"Yeah. I don't know if she got it though. And I don't know if she replied, considering I live here now."
"Write her another letter then. Tell her this address."
"Really? You think I should?" I ask uncertainly. She rolls her eyes at me before patting my hand. She stands up and walks over to the cabinet the TV sits on top of. She pulls out a pad of paper and a pen before closing the drawer and sitting back down next to me on the couch.
"Don't be stupid. Write her another letter." She smiles at me gently before handing me the pen and pad of paper.
"What do I write?" I ask her.
"Anything, I'll be right here with you."
I stare at the note pad for minutes, thinking about what to write. What am I meant to say? Just tell her that I live at a new address? What if she replies and is all pissy at me? Wait, why do you even care? My subconscious asks. She lost all rights to be pissy at you for running away from home when she walked out on you when you were twelve. She says annoyed. I sigh, shaking my head at myself before writing on the pad of paper.
Hi, it's Bella again.
Just letting you know that I'm living with a friend in California now.
Her name is Tanya. She's really nice and a great person.
I've uh, had some issues living in Forks for a while and everything became too much to handle,
so I guess I did a runner. Like mother like daughter, 'eh
"Bella, don't say that to her, Bloody hell," Tanya scolds me. "Cross it out. And while you finish that, I'll be having a shower and then heading to bed."
"Okay. Sorry," I say quietly before leaning over and kissing her on the cheek. She returns the gesture before standing up and walking down the hall into her room.
I bite my bottom lip and cross out what I wrote before continuing.
Sorry. Tanya said I shouldn't say that to you.
Well, the new address is on the back of the envelope.
Bella
I rip the note off of the pad and fold it in half. I write down the address on the front of the envelope Tanya left for me on the coffee table before placing it inside. I put it in the straw basket with the rest of things Tanya needs to post. I pick up the wine bottle and glasses and take them into the kitchen. I wash them up and place one of those preservative corks in the bottle before putting it in the fridge.
I go to my room and have a quick shower before getting dressed into my pajamas and climbing into bed,
hoping to God that I don't have more nightmares tonight.
This chapter is the longest one I have ever written. It's 12k. It kind of surprised me that I could write this much. It's amazing what you can do when you're focused on something. Thank you to my Beta Jenndur for Beta'ing this in such a short time for me. This chapter is still with my second Beta, MyHeartOfMusic, though. So I'll be replacing the file when she sends it back to me. There wont be many changes, probably just grammar etc. I just didn't want to keep you guys waiting, so I posted it tonight.
Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and added this story to their alerts and favorites.
And just so all of you know. My Felix is Jensen Ackles. Just sayin'
Natalee-x