Spark of Genius
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, girl genius verse, DC comics or any of that, so give it a rest.
AN: Funding for Xander's crazy plans: Check. Growing his empire: Check. On the path to world domination: Check. Lots more crazy adventures: TBD.
AN: Warning, this chapter has not been beta'd. I may be in the hunt for a new beta as mine has escaped from where I left him chained to his computer, and has since then successfully evaded capture.
AN: Warning to those not familiar with Girl Genius. Jägers do not use proper English when they speak nor proper spelling when it is displayed in writing. But vey hu carez 'bout dot schtuff? Hiz not like der Jägerkin are all dot beeg on schpellingk anyvay.
'Thought'
"Speech"
Chapter 11: Needz a Beeg Hat
"Any plan where you lose your hat is a bad plan" ~Jäger
"So what is wrong with him?" Superman asked as he helped the still nauseous but now fully awake Martian Manhunter off of the medical table located in the medical suites of the orbiting Justice League's Watchtower.
Batman, who was leaning over the monitors that surrounded the unconscious form of The Flash, answered, "Well, besides the massive head trauma…" finishing the statement with a glare at Wonder Woman.
"What? I said I was sorry, it was a natural reaction, and I didn't mean to hit him so hard. He should have only gone through one bulk head, not all of the ones he went through." She finished with a mostly apologetic shrug.
"Like I said, besides the massive head trauma his system seems to be burning off an overly large dose of caffeine. Frankly, I'm surprised he survived, but he can thank his abnormal metabolism for that, as well as for the craziness that happened." Batman finished as he pressed a few more buttons and the glass bubble surrounding The Flash receded.
As Flash slowly opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was Batman looking down at him.
"How do you feel?" Batman asked, his face a masked scowl of determination; which was pretty much the look that he always had on his face.
"Like I'm waking up from a very long dream." Flash stated as he looked at the heroes who surrounded him.
"You were there," Flash stated as he nodded towards Superman.
"And you were there." Flash stated as he looked at J'onn, noting that J'onn was looking distinctly greener than Wally remembered the Martian being in the past, if that was even possible.
"And your boobies were there." Flash said to Wonder Woman as a dazed smile started to grow across his face.
Wonder Woman decked The Flash, knocking the man again into unconsciousness.
Batman, Superman and the Martian Manhunter all turned to stare at Wonder Woman.
"What?" She asked somewhat innocently, "He's obviously still under the effects of the caffeine and he needs his rest." She finished, this time staring the men down and daring them to contradict her as she clenched her fist and her knuckles cracked.
"Works for me." Superman stated as he rapidly floated away, Ma Kent hadn't raised no fool.
"I agree." Batman stated, as the only totally normal super hero, he relied on his brains to survive, and his brains was screaming a warning at him in thirty different languages. With the way Wonder Woman was looking at the men, no amount of logical or strategic thinking would get Bruce out of this situation alive if he didn't agree; for irate women are nether logical nor able to be reasoned with. With that, Batman swept towards a darkened corner of the medical bay and seemed to disappear; he had a some crime in associated with the sewers of Gotham to look into.
"Whatever, I'm going to go get drunk and see if I can blur my memories." The Martian Manhunter stated. As he phased through the floor, the Martian was heard to mumble, "It was like a million brain cells cried out in agony, and then silence." With that the male heroes left The Flash unconscious and alone with Wonder Woman.
Wonder Woman glared down at the unconscious Flash for a second before looking around to make sure she was alone.
Seeing that nobody was around, she reached her hand down the front of The Flash's spandex pants and gave him a grope.
"There, we're even." She stated with a nod. She was a warrior, and warriors were all about honor and equality, and she wasn't about to let a man get a grope on her if she wasn't able to get an equal one. With that, she too left the medical center.
Behind her, the unconscious Wally West grew a smile, along with a new lump growing on his head.
Xander was thinking that he needed to make a change of plans. For the last three weeks he had been just letting his flights of fancy lead him to create whatever his subconscious wished. Unfortunately, Xander's actions and lack of concrete planning had led him into a situation where he had been faced with displaying his abilities in pubic, or face a situation where he allowed a whole bunch of innocent people to get shot and possibly killed. So in order to make a new plan, he needed to finish the one that had brought him to this little valley in the first place, he needed to find more Nth Metal and fix his weakness to magic. After that, he could focus on the next task.
With that thought firmly entrenched in his mind, Xander walked across his bedroom to the nice rollout cherry wood desk that was at the side of the room, and picked up the 'Nth Direction' device that he had created back in Metropolis.
Flipping the device on, Xander followed the directions from the patient female British voice as it led him out the door and down towards the dungeons and laboratories, perhaps his search wouldn't take too long after all.
Der Jägerkin were being used throughout the valley for not only security but also for some manual labor around the chateau; the kind of stuff that was too dangerous for the human minions to complete.
Thus Xander had assigned several of Da Boyz to feed the tentacle monsters located in the pit traps throughout the building, as Xander wasn't about to have Dora or Tara do that; Xander had seen way too many anime movies in his early teenage days, and he didn't want to put the two girls through that.
Four of the Da Jäger Boyz were working on a pit trap outside the Master's bedroom doors when the Master opened the door and stepped out and resolutely marched down the hall following the directions that were being relayed from the device in Xander's hands; Xander was subconsciously dodging the grasping tentacles and leaping over the pit with as much difficulty as a normal person would have while walking down a clear sidewalk on a summer's afternoon.
"Der Boss doesnz't seemz ta be doinz very vell tadayz." Stated one of the sharp toothed Jäger who was red furred and busy fighting off several tentacles with a triple-headed halberd.
"Yaz, I agreez dat der Boss iz tooz zerious tadayz, hez needz ta goes flirtzing wit da goilz or goes findz hizself a fightz." A purple furred Jäger stated, finishing his statement by chomping his sharp teeth onto the tentacle that was trying to wrap around him; causing the tentacle to shiver in pain and then disappear back down into the pit in the floor.
A blue furred Jäger tossed in a variety of what looked like chunks of raw meat into the pit, which in turn caused the tentacles to all disappear back into the pit. Finished, Da Boyz pressed a hidden button on the side of the wall, and the trap doors to the pit closed again.
The blue furred Jäger suggested, "We need to get der Boss something to getz him smilingz again." His words seeming to come out in almost proper English.
The other three Jäger's all looked at the blue furred Jäger with an inquisitive look. "Viz ya feelinkz okayz? Yaz talkinz funzy." One Jäger asked.
The blue furred Jäger seemed to blush a deeper shade of blue, and mumbled, "I havez a cold and its messing witz my sinusez."
"Ah, vel den, noz harmz noz foulz." The red furred Jäger stated, punctuating his statement with a slap to the back of the blue Jäger; a slap that would have broken a regular man in half, but was like a mother burping a baby to a Jäger.
"Iz noez! Ve getz der Boss a Hat!" The up till now quiet cream colored Jäger stood up straight and exclaimed.
The other three Jägerkin all looked at each other, and then grew large sharp toothed smiles that would have looked more normal on a Cheshire cat from Wonderland.
"Datz ayez greatz ideea!" Two of the other Jägers cried out together, all of them now patting the other on the back.
The pats and slapping of backs became blows, and soon the Jäger were all smiling as they rolled around and on the ground of the hallway punching and fighting each other. Finally one Jäger got thrown out of the melee after a receiving a pretty vicious blow to his head that sent him sailing down the hall.
"Dratz, Imz da virst onez outz of da fight." The cream colored Jäger grumbled as he picked himself off of the ground totally unfazed by the previous blow.
"Vait! Da Hat!" The memory of what they were about to do caused the cream colored Jäger to call out to the other Jägerkin.
The other Jägers stopped mid brawl right where they were at; the teeth of one Jäger were latched onto the buttock of another, hands were wrapped around throats, feet were in the process of kicking groins, and fist was reared back to punch another Jäger in the face. The Jäger's on the floor all looked at each other, then at the cream colored Jäger and then all seemed to instantaneously be standing as they were before.
"Yerz rightz. Da Hat is more importantz ven der fightz." The blue Jäger stated, his comments sounding more like something said by a normal human rather than a Jäger.
With that, all of the Jägers ran down the hallway towards the exit of the house, off to find a hat for Xander.
As they disappeared down the hall, the red Jäger was heard to tell the blue Jäger, "Ve realeez kneadz taz getz vous nooz fixedz, yuz soundink weirdz."
Meanwhile, Xander had followed the voice of the Nth Direction device down to the laboratories and found himself standing in front of the door where the Black Heterodyne had met his nasty end; or rather, he was standing looking at the door across the hall from the former private lab.
"Chateau, please open up the former Heterodyne's private parts storage room." Xander exclaimed into the air around him.
"Yes dear. Remind me to talk to you about your new exercise routine when you get done down there Xander, and make sure to have your bed made, your room is getting messy." The maternal voice of the chateau answered back to him.
Xander rolled his eyes as he walked into the storage room, and then grimaced as he heard the chateau harp at him.
"Don't you roll your eyes at me young man, for that you're going to get an extra hour of exercise." The chateau stated, before going quiet and leaving him to his work.
Xander internally fumed for a second, before entering the storage room and looking around.
The walls were full of about what he had expected to be kept in a private stash of an evil mad genius. Mechanical parts and weapons lined the walls, interspersed with animal and human body parts that seemed to be floating in some sort of fluid; the creepy part was that the eyes in the jars all turned to watch him as Xander moved further into the room.
It was the back of the room that Xander was interested in, as that was where the directional device was leading him.
Sure enough, laying against the back wall was a stack of about one hundred ingots of what Xander recognized as Nth Metal, all stacked neatly together next to stacks of ingots of precious metals and a trapdoor with a sign above it that stated, "Private Escape Route."
Xander shook his head at the labeled route, but it did fit the insanity that was most Heterodynes, so he moved towards the ingots and started carrying them out into the hall where he again stacked them; He'd have Igor and several of the men move them into the bio-mechanical room where Xander was currently keeping the headless corpse of Amazo.
An hour later, Xander was in the bio-mechanical room using a chainsaw with a diamond toothed chain to cut into the chest cavity of Amazo; it was time to see how this guy worked. Xander whistled while he worked on Amazo, in the background of the lab several minions were loaded the Nth Metal ingots into a smelter and were liquefying the metal.
Based on an analysis of the sliver of metal from Hawkgirl's mace, Xander knew that if he added a certain set of chemicals to the liquefied metal that it would harden into an amazingly strong material almost impervious to damage whether physical, elemental or magical.
Xander hadn't liked getting shot, and his dance with death had him concerned that he needed to give himself some serious protection. The problems he was facing at the moment were that he didn't have enough of the Nth Metal to make up a full suit of armor, and that even if he built the armor, he wasn't going to be wearing it all of the time because it would make him stand out way too much; not to mention that it would hinder his ability to go 'flirtzing wit da goilz.'
Xander finished cutting open Amazo's chest and carried the lump of internal organs and machinery over towards his magnification and analysis work space.
Looking through the magnification viewer on his tools, Xander scoffed.
"Bah, that fool Ivo used a combination of both mechanical parts and nanotechnology; but it's the bulky mechanical parts that actual do the majority of the work. Any two bit scientist with half an ounce of insane genius could build this, it's so simple!" Xander sneered at the design.
Whistling a tune to himself, Xander went about interpreting the workings of the mechanical parts and the nanobots present in Amazo's corpse and began to improve upon them.
Thirty minutes later Xander knew what he wanted to do.
"Toots!" Xander yelled, and his little clank hopped out from under a work bench and ran up to Xander to give him a salute.
"Toot toot." The little clank stated with a salute.
"Go round up about five thousand of the general use little clanks and get them to come here, they're about to get an upgrade and a bath." Xander stated.
The little clank again saluted and darted out of the room. Less than a minute later, the sounds of thousands of little feet quickly clanking down the stone halls of the dungeon could be heard, and a wave of little clanks of all sizes and with all sorts of attached tools flooded into the lab to surround Xander.
"Ok gang, time for a bit of maintenance then a dip into the metal bath." Xander stated with a smile, the glow of madness starting to come from his eyes.
The next three hours were full of the sounds of hammering, small explosions, drilling, a sheep bleating, ratchets clanking, saws cutting, and a duck quacking.
By the time Xander had finished, the corpse of Amazo was no longer present in the laboratory. Instead the army of 5000 little clanks had been upgraded with the Amazo technology as well as some additional technology that Xander had upgraded, namely full databases of medical technology, the creation technology copied from his coffee engine (he still wasn't sure how it worked, he only knew that it did work) as well as a miniaturized version of the shrink-ray tech with a reverse beam technology as well.
"Ok gang, everybody take a dip in the Nth Metal pool and then quickly enter the hard coating and joint-loosening machine." Xander commanded, pointing to the pool of liquid Nth Metal and then to a conveyor belt that disappeared into a long tunnel like machine; a conveyor belt came out the backside of the machine and proceeded across the room to end hovering over a twin sized bed with a pillow and sheets.
The pattering of thousands of little mechanical feet was heard as the army of little upgraded clanks were directed by Toots through the bath and then onto the conveyor belt of the machine.
While this was going on, the gleam of madness was shining through Xander's eyes as he monologued.
"Wa ha ha, my plan will soon be complete! No longer will Xander Harris-Heterodyne be Magic's butt boy, No! With my Nth Metal covered clanks, I shall have the ability to gain the super powers of the heroes and villains with the added benefit of being immune to magic! Wa ha ha ha ha. If this works, my healing factor should quadruple and I should see my body increase to the peak of physical fitness. " Xander monologued, several minions in the background of the lab took on maniacal looks of their own as it seemed Xander's madness was slightly contagious.
Walking towards the bed at the end of the conveyor belt, Xander picked up a portable sign and attached it right at the end of the belt; it read "Shrink Here!"
As Xander lay down on the bed, situating the pillow and his head so that it was under the conveyor belt, he continued to chuckle to himself.
"Any fool two bit scientist can build little nanobots. It takes a true mind of genius to make robots that contain all that he could ever want in internal helpers and then shrink them into the proper size. With these bots complete, I shall have an army of little clanks literally at my finger tips. Bwa ha ha ha, Bwa ha ha ha ha ha… ahem." Xander stopped his evil sounding laughter as the machine above him dinged, letting him know that the first of the Nth Metal and fully upgraded clanks was completed and out of the machine.
With that, Xander laid back on the pillow and opened his mouth, and a slow trickle of granular sized miniaturized clanks cascaded off of the conveyor belt and fell perfectly into Xander's mouth, all except for the last little clank who was a bit dizzy from the heights of the conveyor belt and forgot to shrink before landing on Xander's face.
"Ouch! Yous sons ohf ah… Shrinks damnsit!" Xander said with his mouth held wide open so that he didn't spill out any of the other little clanks. The last clank finally shrank and then the now infinitesimally small clank jumped into his mouth to join the rest of its brethren.
With that, Xander swallowed, and then accepted the glass of water that one of the minions provided him.
"Blech, tastes like a mouth full of metal." Xander said as he finished drinking down the water to clear the taste of the little clanks in his mouth.
Getting up, Xander wandered over to the pool where the liquid Nth Metal had been, and saw that it was now completely empty.
"Damn, I need to get more of that stuff for added protection. The little guys in my belly should spread out and multiply over the coming days, but it's going to take some time before they are fully integrated into my system and finish the upgrades and health assessment that I programmed into them." Xander explained to a note taking lab assistant. Xander took the clipboard from the assistant and noted that his supplies of Nth Metal were completely tapped out.
Handing back the clip board, Xander started to walk out of the lab while talking to himself, "I wish there was a faster way to pinpoint the location of the Nth Metal and get to it immediately." Xander finished as he walked down the hall.
Suddenly Xander's eyes got big, and then he scrunched up his eyes and his forehead, followed by palm slapped his face.
"Do'h! I'm an idiot. I already have everything I need to find and gather the Nth Metal quickly." Xander stated. With that, Xander darted back into the laboratory behind him, grabbed the Nth Direction device, and then sprinted off down the halls towards the transit center in the middle of town.
As the afternoon turned into evening, portals opened up all over the Sahara desert, Siberia, off the coast of Mexico, throughout the outback of Australia, and across north America as Xander's minions harvested meteor strikes for their Nth metal.
As Xander stood looking out over the world map located in the command room of the transit center, things were finally looking up for him and he should have been happy with his ongoing success coupled with his staying slightly under the radar of the dimension's super villains and heroes.
'So why is it that I have this sudden fear of imminent doom trickling down my spine.' Xander thought to himself as he smiled at his recent successes and walked out of the transit center and into the darkening evening; the mountains around Xander's valley cast their shadows on the town and caused it to get dark faster than if he had been situated in another region.
"Your exercise time begins in t-minus ten seconds and counting." The voice of the chateau began from speakers hidden in the walls of the town around him. "Have a nice day."
"Oh crap! That's why!" Xander stated as he took off running away from the town as quickly as he could. Unfortunately for him the abilities he had stolen from Amazo hadn't kicked in yet, and it would be several hours before he gained super speed. The voice of the chateau issued from speakers situated around the town, slowly counting down from ten to zero. Xander knew that when it hit zero, all hell was going to break lose after him.
The chateau had stated that Xander needed to work on his exercise, and like most buildings owned by super heroes, villains, mad scientists or heterodynes, the building's idea of 'exercise' was a bit insane and had no resemblance to a nice easy afternoon spent lifting thousand pound weights in the gym or having a nice spar with somebody as skilled in fighting as Batman.
Screw the X-men and their danger room, Xander's entire house and the valley surrounding it was one big danger zone.
With that thought running through his head, the speakers finished counting down to zero, and hellfire seemed to light the night sky.
The weirdly shaped golem like lamp posts of the town's many streets all seemed to explode in fire as flames washed over their forms. Red eyes opened up and pivoted to track Xander as wings shot out of the mechanical golems' backs, and the flaming clanks came to life and lifted off into the air.
Xander didn't even bother to look back, as he knew that the glow that was increasingly lighting the area around him could only spell trouble. Speeding along, he only had a brief moment where a little voice told him to dive to the right, before a flaming mechanized terror plowed into the ground where Xander had just been.
"This is nuts." Xander spat as he rolled out of his dive and took off running up the side of one of the mountains. "At least they are sticking to physical attacks." Xander huffed as he continued to gain altitude on the mountain while dodging the diving machines, the flames of their bodies getting close enough to singe some of Xander's hair.
Xander stood briefly in front of a large bolder, and then dived out of the way just as one of the golems dived at him, successfully causing the robot to break off a wing and a leg as it missed Xander and plowed into the rock.
"Ha ha! I got ya!" Xander said triumphantly as he pumped his fist, only to give an "Eeep!" and dive out of the way of a searing plasma ball that was shot at him from the mouth of one of the golems and barely missed Xander's head.
Looking up, Xander's eyes got big as a speaker in one of the golems stated, "Commencing level 2," and all of the golem's mouths opened up to reveal plasma blaster arrays. Xander's eyes boggled and he again took off running towards the peak above him, hoping to figure out something that would get him away from these monsters.
Sprinting, going as fast as he could, Xander started to push himself faster than he had run before. Faster and faster he went, legs pumping and churning up the loose rocks and soil beneath him as he sprinted up the mountains side.
Slowly, ever so slowly, Xander began to gain distance on his robotic 'exercise' partners, but he was still having to devote time to dodging back and forth as plasma balls rained down on him; vaporizing plants along his path.
Xander was going faster, and faster, and right before he reached the lowest peak of the mountain he briefly looked behind him to see how far away the attacking clanks were, and ended up stepping off into nothing but air.
The back side of the first peak was a steep thousand foot jagged drop off.
Xander's head swung back to look at his path as his foot lost traction and failed to hit a solid surface; he realized too late that he had just run off the edge of a cliff.
The trailing sound of Xander's voice yelling, "!" disappeared down the face of the cliff, and then there was silence.
The mechanical clanks all hovered at the edge of the cliff, waiting to hear if there was a 'splatting' sound of a body on sharp rocks, but the next thing they knew Xander flew by them at an incredible speed going, "Waaaahoooo!"
Xander was airborne and flying as quickly as he could towards the chateau, for though the shrunken little clanks hadn't multiplied enough to give him Amazo's powers, Xander's blood was flowing with many times more than the amount of Nth Metal needed to allow him to fly.
A voice from the clanks stated, "Commencing level 3," and the flaming mechanized clanks shot into the air after Xander, who dodged and weaved, ducked, dived and darted around the attacking robots and their fiery plasma balls.
Below the quickly flying Xander, the roofs of the town's houses opened up and bright streams of tracer rounds shot into the night sky as the anti-air defenses added another obstacle for Xander to dodge.
In the town below, the towns folk "Ohhh'ed" and "Ahhh'ed" at the fireworks display Xander was providing for them, as long contrails of flame zigzagged the night sky and plasma balls exploded in seemingly pyroclastic displays.
All too soon the display was over, as Xander tired of the chase, dodged the claws of two of the robots, weaved in between two streams of tracer shells, and flew as fast as he could towards the chateau.
Reaching the front door on the porch of the Chateau, Xander tagged the front door and yelled out, "Base! Ha Ha! You can't get me, you can't get me! Ha Ha!"
The robots stopped their chase of Xander and looked chagrined as they lowered their heads and turned off their flames, landing and shuffling their feet in the dirt with bowed heads as they slowly proceeded down the hill to again take up their positions as street lights.
"Ah, don't be like that guys. We can try this again another night." Xander stated.
The robots heads all lifted as they looked at Xander and nodded. With that, the robots all moved determinedly down the hill to resume their posts, while Xander entered the chateau to clean up after his daily bought of light exercise.
At the same time in Gotham,
The Batman flew head first across the cavernous room located deep within the Gotham sewers; propelled by the armor scaled knuckles of Killer Croc.
Batman rolled down the slope of the wall, and crumpled for a second, before quickly rolling under the sweeping tale of the large crocodile like super villain who was attempting to take off the Batman's head.
Unfortunately for Batman, he wasn't fast enough to dodge the outstretched clawed hand of Croc as it grabbed Batman by the neck and picked the struggling hero up off the sewer floor.
"I'm going to enjoy biting off your head and then eating your heart Batman." Croc's graveling voice rumbled from his snout as he went to bite Batman's head off.
However before the Croc could kill Batman, a voice from behind interrupted, "Vel vill ya look at der size of datz onez! Now ver iz da makingz fer a greatz beeg Hat!" Came a slightly slurred and Germanic sounding voice.
"Yaz I agreez, letz getz it Boyz!" came a second voice as a cream colored creature charged out with a three headed halberd.
"Tally'z Ho, Another timez into za gap we goez!" A blue colored figure shouted as it ran out of the darkness wielding a Calvary saber.
With that, four sharp toothed figures charged out of one of the side tunnels of the sewer and charged Killer Croc.
Croc threw Batman at a wall in front of him, effectively dazing the hero just as Croc was tackled and slashed from the side by the four figures.
Slashes and claws and super strength met in a smack down of epic proportions as bladed weapons initially hacked into Killer Croc and were eventually broken or mashed due to the strength of the combatants. The resulting struggle turned into a roiling mass of tumbling combatants who were all trying to tear off arms, bite out jugulars and punch in faces as they rolled across the puddles of sewage that dotted the floor of the cavern.
The blood of the combatants stained the pools of fetid water of the sewers, but the outcome of the battle was never an uncertainty, as even with his super strength and armored skin, Killer Croc was evenly matched with one Jäger, but not a problem for two of the hunter monster Jägerkin let alone the four of them that attacked him all at once.
Standing over the now unconscious and heavily bleeding form of Killer Croc, a soon to be very dead Killer Croc that is, the four Jägers congratulated each other on a successful and fun hunt.
"Goudz fightzing Boyz." The red Jäger stated.
"Yepz, goodz fightz." The blue Jäger returned as he looked away from the dying Croc to face the red Jäger.
"Um, Redz, yuz lostz yer arm." Blue stated, pointing at where red was missing an arm.
"Noz Iz hazents." Red said as he raised his good arm at the blue Jäger.
"Noz, der otherz arm." The cream colored Jäger stated as sure enough, he picked up the severed left arm of red and used it to wave 'hi' back at the red Jäger.
Red merely shrugged, "Eh, Iz hadz worz. Der Boss canz fix meez leeterz." Red stated as he accepted his arm from the cream colored Jäger.
With that, the four Jägerkin started to pick up the body of Killer Croc to carry it off with them, totally ignoring the now struggling to stand Batman.
A Batarang flew across the room towards the Jägers, only for the purple Jäger to catch it out of the air before it could hit any of them.
"Tankz yuz fur diz souvineerz." The purple stated with a smile and a wave at the staggering Batman.
Not daunted by the initial defeat at the hands of these monsters, Batman pulled out a bat-tazer and shot the blue Jäger with 100,000 volts.
The resulting Zap didn't faze the blue Jäger at all, instead his response was a slight chuckle accompanied by a, "Stopz, datz ticklez."
Next Batman pulled out a can of Bat-pepper spray and threw it at the four creatures.
The resulting bang and large cloud of dark pepper gas blew up right in the middle of the Jägers, covering them totally and making them disappear from sight; yet no coughing accompanied the pepper gas grenade.
Batman held back a second to see if there was any reaction, but was again startled to hear from the cloud.
"Yumz, diz iz goodz pepperz, I'z goingz ta makez a crocz and pepperz pie" said one voice.
A second voice replied, "Iz lovez der peppered crocz pie, Yum!"
After that, the cloud of pepper spray finally dissipated, and Batman shook off his concussion and charged into the mass of bodies in order to stop the creatures from taking and eating Killer Croc.
Before he could punch the purple Jäger in the face, Batman got slapped across the face hard with a disembodied red arm; effectively knocking Batman to the ground in a daze.
"Datz not very nize tryingz ta atak us ven ve vere only tryingz ta getz der Boss a beeg Hat." The cream colored Jäger stated.
Batman blinked in amazement as he tried to clear his vision, stunned that his attack had been thwarted so easily. Before he could react or attack again, the four Jägers acted with superhuman speed and had Batman tied up in his own cape.
"And Datz vhy der Boss sayz noz capez." The red Jäger stated, punctuated his statement by waggling his disembodied arm at the other Jägers.
With that, the four Jägerkin picked up the body of Killer Croc and disappeared into the darkness of the sewers; comparing recipes for crocodile pie with pepper.
Behind them they left a furiously struggling and growling Batman, tied up in his cape and muffled with the torn shirt of Killer Croc shoved into Batman's mouth.
AN: Good stopping spot for now. Hope you enjoyed it. There, to answer your question, there will be Jägers, and there will be a Beeg Hat. Tally ho then, pip pip and all that rot.