Chapter Thirty Two – (Revelations)
BPOV
On Wednesday afternoon after school, I go back to Alice's house to hang out with her, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie. To my dismay, Edward isn't there when we get back. I think he's been avoiding me since he kissed me. I've never felt so confused in my entire life. Emmett says something about him hanging out with Jacob over at the reservation, snapping me out of my daydreaming.
"When did they become friends?" I ask curiously.
"Not long after, um," Emmett sputters.
"After I left?" I ask, finishing his sentence.
"Yeah," he replies quietly, smiling at me apologetically.
"There's something about Jacob that's just…" I trail off.
"Yeah, I know what you mean," Jasper says seriously.
"Edward's like, not doing drugs or anything, is he?" I ask concerned. Jasper and Emmett look between each other, avoiding my gaze.
"He was–" Emmett says hesitantly.
"But he's not anymore," Jasper adds confidently.
"Are you sure?" I ask uncertainly.
"I gave him a pretty huge lashing when I found out, and so did Dad. So I'm pretty positive he's not," Jazz replies, shrugging his shoulders.
"Okay…"
To be perfectly honest, Jacob gives me the skeeves. There's always been something about him that put my nerves on edge. I guess I can't exactly judge Jacob because I don't really know him. And if Edward feels like he's not any trouble, then I guess I should trust his judgment. Edward doesn't seem like the kind of person to hang around with the wrong crowd.
"Bella, you have nothing to worry about," Jasper reassures me.
"Yeah. Jazz always uses the mom card on him," Emmett says through a laugh.
"The mom card?" I ask confused.
"The whole 'how do you think your mom would feel if she saw you like this' speech," Alice explains.
"Uh. Right," I mumble.
"Anyway," Alice says. "Let's grab some munchies and watch a couple of movies," she adds cheerfully.
"Yeah!" Emmett hollers excitedly.
"Yay, movie night with Bellaaa," Rosalie murmurs sarcastically.
I glance over at her to see her expression filled with annoyance. Emmett nudges her with his shoulder and looks at her pointedly, which just causes her to glare at him. He rolls his eyes at her before pulling her to him and planting a kiss on her lips. I see the corners of her mouth turn up into a small smile when he pulls away and whispers something in her ear. The scene makes me smile softly before looking away, making me feel as though I'm intruding on their moment.
I go into the kitchen with Alice to help her make the popcorn and pour it – and the chips and lollies – into plastic bowls.
"Is she ever going to forgive me?" I ask Alice.
"Who, Rose?" she asks as she continues to poor the drinks.
"Yeah," I reply quietly, my voice sad.
"She'll come around," she replies, glancing over at me hesitantly. "To be honest, I haven't completely forgiven you either. I know you don't want to hear it, and I don't really want to tell you this because I don't want you to feel ganged up on and I don't want you to, um –"
"You think I'll run off again if you all don't forgive me straight away," I reply, not stating the sentence as a question.
"Well, you broke our trust Bella. I don't know what you'll do," she replies quietly.
"Alice, I know what I did was wrong. I'm here to fix my mistakes. I'm not going to run off if you tell me you don't completely trust me anymore," I tell her honestly.
"Okay. Well, good," she responds through a shaky laugh.
"I know I have to earn your forgiveness and trust back. Same with Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and Edward," I tell her. "I'm not going to give up on all of you," I add, softening the tone of my voice.
"I know, Bella. You don't have to explain yourself. We all still love you," she conveys, smiling sheepishly.
"I know," I respond, returning her smile before picking up the bowls of popcorn and heading back out into the living room. I hand one to Jasper and Emmett, they both thank me kindly. I hand Rosalie hers and she glances up at me, shock on her face for a split second before she composes herself and takes the bowl out of my hands. I don't blame her for being shocked. She probably thinks I'd give up on trying to earn her forgiveness and being friends with her by now, because of how she's been treating me.
"Thanks," she mumbles quietly.
I smile softly at her before I walk back into the kitchen. I grab the bowls of chips and lollies, walking back out into the living room as Alice carries the drinks on a tray. I place the bowls on the coffee table as Alice hands everyone their drinks. Alice sits down next to Jasper while I sit in one of the couches, making it recline out in front of me so I'm more comfortable. We decide on watching Troy; it's filled with gorgeous Greek men and romance for the girls and beautiful Greek women and action for the boys.
Alice followed through with her promise to get Tanya a job at the Forks Diner. And speak of the devil; she turns up half an hour later. Jasper jumps up to answer the door and let her in. She walks over to me, greeting me with a kiss on my forehead before smiling kindly at everyone else and laying down on top of me, her head resting on my left shoulder.
"Hey, how was work?" I ask quietly.
"It was good. Everyone loves me," she says nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders as though it's no big deal.
"That doesn't really surprise me. You are pretty awesome," I quip, laughing quietly.
"I am, aren't I?" she jokes, smiling down at me. I roll my eyes at her and shake my head.
"Be quiet, you're distracting me from the movie," I say seriously.
"You've already seen it," she giggles but stops abruptly, when a pillows hits her in the head.
"Hey!" she exclaims, looking over at Emmett.
"Shhhhh. You're ruining the movie," Emmett says in a mock whiny voice.
Tanya pokes her tongue out at him before pegging the pillow back at him with full force. He grins before throwing it at her again.
"Are you guys having fun?" Alice asks sarcastically.
"Yeah, we're trying to watch a movie here," Jasper adds.
Tanya lets out a laugh as she pegs the pillow back at Emmett. My eyes go wide with shock when it spins to the right and hits Rosalie straight in the face. Everyone in the room goes silent as Rosalie turns to glare at Tanya. Tanya quirks her brow at Rosalie, daring her to make a scene about what just happened. I glance over at Alice and Jasper. Alice matches my expression of shock, but Jasper is pursing his lips together, trying not to laugh.
"Are you fucking serious?" Rosalie snaps angrily.
"Oh, grow a back bone," Tanya says through a sigh.
"Excuse me?" Rosalie replies, her voice thick with rage.
"Can you be any more of a princess? It was obviously an accident," Tanya replies exasperatedly
"Can you be anymore fucking annoying?" Rosalie retorts even more furious. "Go back to California," she mumbles under her breath.
"Do you want to say that a bit louder?" Tanya taunts her.
"Guys," Jasper says seriously.
"It was just a bit of fun," I say quietly.
"Why don't you go back to California as well?" Rosalie spits at me, standing up from the couch and going to walk away.
I practically push Tanya off my lap to get off the couch and face Rosalie.
"Are you ever going to get over your temper tantrum?" I ask incredulously, my temper beginning to flare. "I'm back for good, Rosalie. So get used to it because I'm not going anywhere!" I shout at her.
"Well, I wish you never came back!" she yells, her voice beginning to break.
"I'm sorry I didn't confide in you after you confided in me, okay? I was scared and I didn't know what to do. I had really bad insecurities and fears back then. I know I have to earn your forgiveness and trust back, but you don't have to be so hostile about it," I tell her, my voice softening.
"Damn right you have to earn my forgiveness. But I don't give a shit about your insecurities at the moment," she replies, her voice low and filled with anger.
I take a step back, it feeling as though she's physically hit me. I feel the tears well up in my eyes. I turn around and run out of the room, not wanting anyone to see me cry. I hear Tanya and Rosalie get into another screaming match as I lean up against the island counter.
"She's trying to make things right, Rosalie! Why can't you just be more civil towards her?" Tanya exclaims.
"What has this got to do with you?" Rosalie responds.
"That girl is like a little sister to me. I don't appreciate the way you treat her," Tanya says angrily.
"Well, I don't appreciate the way she waltzes back here expecting all to be forgiven," Rosalie retorts icily.
"She doesn't expect anything like that! Do you ever listen to anything anyone says to you? She knows she fucked up, okay? She's not the heartless bitch you're making her out to be!" Tanya shouts.
"That's it – I've had enough of this bullshit!" Emmett shouts. "Rosie, you seriously need to tone it down with your rage. Bella's obviously been through a lot, and it's her story to tell when she's ready to. Just give her a break, baby. Please?" he pleads comfortingly.
I can picture him placing his palm on her cheek, forcing her to look at him. I imagine his goofy lopsided smile before he leans in and kisses her softly on the lips. His affection for her makes my heart swell with longing and I slide down the counter and onto the ground. I wrap my arms around my legs and rest my head on my knees, unable to stop the tears from falling down my face.
I hear the back sliding door open and glance up to see Edward enter the room. He spots me on the ground and distress automatically fills his expression. I fold my arms in front of my chest as he rushes over and kneels down in front of me, cupping my face in his hands.
"What's wrong?" he asks softly, concern clear in his voice.
"Nothing, I'm fine," I reply softly, filled with embarrassment. I haven't been within this close proximity to him since he kissed me that day.
"You are clearly not fine," he smiles softly at me as he continues to stroke my cheeks. I glance up at him through my lashes.
"Can you please not hold my face like that?" I ask softly. He drops his hands from my face and places them on top of my knees.
"Right. Sorry," he murmurs.
"It's okay. Rosalie's just being Rosalie," I mumble, my voice hoarse from crying.
"What did she do?" he asks.
"Don't worry about it," I tell him.
"I will worry about it. I'm sick of her treating you like this," he says seriously, anger creeping into his voice.
"And what about how you're treating me?" I ask sadly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asks offended.
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe how you randomly kiss me and tell me you love me. Then tell me it's a mistake, avoid me and then as soon as you see I'm upset, you rush to my side and get all protective of me," I reply honestly.
"I'm sorry," he replies sincerely. "I didn't mean to make things more complicated between us," he adds quietly.
"Neither did I," I murmur under my breath.
"Will you please just tell me what happened?" he asks.
"I don't want to talk about it," I respond reluctantly.
"Bella…"
"Please?" I plead, placing my hands on top of his and squeezing them lightly. "I can't handle any more drama," I add, my voice thick with sadness.
"Okay," he says quietly, running his thumbs across the back of my hands soothingly before smiling softly at me. "What are you doing this weekend?" he asks.
"Nothing," I mumble. "Why?" I ask curiously.
"I'm going to a party, you should come too," he says kindly, "I think everyone else is going as well. You can bring Tanya and introduce her to some more people or something," he adds, breaking our gaze as though he thinks I wouldn't want to go to a party with him.
I smile softly at him before nodding my head. "Okay," I reply quietly.
"Bella?" Emmett's voice calls out as he enters the kitchen. "Oh. Um, I'll just, uhh," Emmett stutters and turns to walk back out.
"It's okay, Em. I was just about to head upstairs," Edward says before standing. He holds his hands out to me. I put my hands in his and he pulls me to my feet.
"Thanks," I say quietly. He smiles at me before walking out of the kitchen, leaving Emmett and I alone.
"So, are you guys like, okay now?" he asks hesitantly, confusion also clear in his voice.
"We're on speaking terms, I guess," I mumble.
"And touching terms," Emmett quips, waggling his eyebrows. I let out a sigh before rolling my eyes at him and leaning back against the kitchen island. "What were you and Eddie talking about before I interrupted?" he asks.
"Nothing important. He just told me about a party this weekend. Said I should go," I reply nonchalantly, shrugging my shoulders.
"Oh. Jake's party?" he asks.
"I don't know. He didn't say who's it was."
"It's probably Jake's party. We're all going," he says thoughtfully. "Yeah, you should come," he adds, grinning at me.
"Maybe."
"You need to let loose and have some fun, you're coming," he says seriously. "Are you sure you're okay, Button?"
"Edward kissed me yesterday," I tell him honestly before I can stop myself.
"What? Are you okay?" he asks shocked, concern clear in his voice.
"Yeah, I'm okay."
"Damn. Are you sure? I mean that doesn't really help with all his mood swings and shit," he says seriously. "And I know Rosie can be pretty intense too," he adds softly.
"I'm fine," I respond, letting out a heavy sigh. "Emmett?" I address him cautiously.
"Yeah?"
"I'm really sorry for what I did," I say quietly.
"I know," he reassures.
"And I know I have to earn back everyone's forgiveness. So, do you think maybe I can, you know, explain everything to you guys now?" I ask hesitantly.
"What do you mean?" he asks confused.
"About um, why I left and such."
"Oh," he says taken aback. "Yeah, sure. I guess," he adds, shrugging his shoulders.
I smile thankfully at him before walking over to him and winding my arms around his waist. He folds his arms around my shoulders as I squeeze him tightly. "Thanks," I mumble against his chest.
"Come on, Bella Button. Let's go tell your story," he replies softly, keeping his arms splayed across my shoulders as he leads me back into the living room.
As soon as I explained everything to Jasper and Emmett about what happened with my mom and why I left Forks the way I did, I think I almost saw tears in Jasper's eyes as he stood up from the couch and rushed over to hug me tightly.
"I can't believe you went through all of that. No wonder you left," he whispered in my ear as he continued to hug me.
"That's some serious fucked up shit, Button. I'm sorry," Emmett said seriously, engulfing me in a hug as well.
When I looked over to Alice, she had tears streaming down her face, even though she already knew the story. Sadly, Rosalie wasn't there when I explained everything to Jasper and Emmett. Apparently she took off out of the house after Emmett stepped in between her and Tanya's yelling war.
I had Trig first hour and Jessica ignored me the entire time. She and I don't normally sit together in that class, but our teacher made us draw out a name out of a hat. And whoever's name we drew, we were told they would be our Trig buddy for the rest of the semester. There were a lot of groans of annoyance and complaints.
"Miss Swan, are you with us on planet earth today?" Mr. Berty asks, snapping me out of my memory.
"Sorry," I mumble. "What was the question?" I ask.
"I didn't ask you a question," he replies, letting out a heavy sigh as he shakes his head with disappointment.
"Then why are you tormenting her?" Rosalie asks, stunning the absolute hell out of me. I glance over at her, my expression no doubt filled with shock.
"What was that, Miss Hale?" Mr. Berty asks, daring her repeat herself.
"I said," she says pointedly. "If you didn't ask her a question, then why are you scolding her about day dreaming?" she adds sarcastically.
"Because whether I asked her a question or not, she should be paying attention in class," he responds seriously. "For if I was to ask her a question, she would be prepared to answer."
"Righto. Whatever," she mumbles.
I can't seem to take my eyes off her. Did she seriously just stick up for me? She glances over at me and meets my gaze.
"Thanks," I say quietly.
"Yeah. Look, Emmett said I need to apologize to you about yesterday, so–"
"I don't want an apology from you, if you don't really mean it," I tell her honestly, my voice sad.
She closes her eyes and lets out a heavy sigh before looking back to me.
"I do mean it," she says seriously. "I didn't mean to be such a horrible bitch yesterday," she replies, her voice quiet.
"Okay," I reply, smiling thankfully at her.
She just rolls her eyes before breaking our gaze and looking back to the front of the classroom. Oh, well. At least it's some positive progress with her, I think to myself.
Baby steps, Bella.
Baby steps.
Rosalie and I walk to lunch together in silence. It's still tense between us, but it's better than what it has been for the past week. Everyone stares at us warily as we make our way to the table. I can feel the annoyance rolling off of Edward and the anxiety coming from Alice.
"Hey guys," I greet them kindly, sitting in my seat next to Edward.
I look around to everyone at the table and smile at them politely, even Jessica. She just looks away and avoids my gaze like the plague though.
I glance over at Edward and when my eyes met his, he smiles softly at me.
"Is everything okay?" he asks quietly, looking over to Rosalie before looking back to me. I return his smile and nod my head.
"Did you do it?" I hear Emmett ask Rosalie.
"Yes," I hear her reply curtly, clearly annoyed with his persistence. I roll my eyes before looking over to Emmett.
"You don't have to force her to apologize, Emmett. She's not a baby. I'm pretty sure she has a mind of her own," I tell him, shock forming on his face from me sticking up for her.
"Yeah, doofus. I have a mind of my own," Rosalie quips, playfully punching him in the arm. She turns to look at me and gives me an actual genuine smile for once. I return her smile before looking back at Edward.
He has confusion and shock, written all over his face. I laugh quietly which causes the corners of his lips up into his crooked grin. He leans in closer to me. I lean forward, meeting him half way.
"I've missed your laugh," he whispers in my ear.
I sit back in my seat properly, feeling the blush rush into my cheeks as my lips turn up into a smile. I glance over at Alice to see she's grinning ear to ear, Jasper has a content smile on his face, Emmett winks at me, which causes me to lean further back into my seat from embarrassment. And Rosalie rolls her eyes before looking away and smiling softly. Jessica is still avoiding my gaze.
"Hey, Rose?" I address her nervously.
"Yeah?"
"Do you want to come over tomorrow afternoon?" I ask politely.
"Uhhh."
"I just want to um, talk to you about something."
"Okay," she replies hesitantly, quirking her brow at me.
I can't stop my smile of triumph.
I had English with Rosalie again today. She began conversing with me more often and actually asking me questions and my opinion on some of the questions we had to answer during the lesson. We worked pretty well as a team for the first time in a long time.
She began to ask why I wanted her to come over this afternoon though. I kept avoiding the subject, telling her I'd explain everything when we got back to mine and Tanya's cottage. She admitted she was pretty excited to see the place, considering Alice keeps going on and on about how beautiful and spectacular it is.
I think she was a little jealous, to be honest.
Then she asked, in a semi-insecure soft tone, why I didn't call her and tell her I was coming back as well as telling Alice. I avoided that question as well, which just caused her to become frustrated and annoyed with me once again.
She didn't talk to me during lunch either, which just made me think she wasn't going to come over this afternoon after all.
I snap out of my memory as I notice Rosalie waiting for me by the front steps of the school. I can't stop the sigh of relief that escapes me, a smile forming on my lips as I make my way over to her.
"Hey," I greet her kindly.
"Hey," she responds, turning her head to face me.
"I didn't think you were still coming," I confess.
"Neither did I," she replies honestly.
I smile softly at her before walking down the steps. Tanya pulls into the parking lot just as Rosalie catches up and falls into step with me. Tanya looks between Rosalie and me, confusion clear as day on her face. She quirks her brow at me as I sit in the passenger seat and Rosalie hops in the back seat. I give Tanya a pointed look, silently telling her not to be rude.
"Hey, Rosalie," Tanya greets her softly, but kindly.
"Hey," Rosalie responds just as quietly. I can tell she feels extremely out of place and uncomfortable.
"How much of a weird mood was Mr. Berty in today?" I ask Rose, making conversation and trying to break the tension. She lets out a sigh of relief and smiles at me gratefully.
"I know, right? I dunno what's up with him lately."
"Maybe it's your snide remarks," I joke.
"Meh, maybe he needs to grow a back bone," she jokes back.
Tanya laughs beside me, glancing at Rosalie in the rear view mirror.
"Is that pun intended, Miss Hale?" Tanya asks playfully.
"Maybe," Rosalie replies mischievously
All three of us laugh and continue to joke around as we make our way back to the cottage.
After I explain everything to Rosalie, she stays silent for a fairly long time. She picks up her cup of tea that Tanya made her and takes a sip out of it slowly. I begin to bop my leg up and down, anxiety and impatience beginning to overtake me. I don't know how long we all sit there in silence, but I eventually break the tension.
"Can you please say something?" I ask softly.
"Sorry," Rosalie mumbles. "I'm just trying to get my head around all that information," she adds honestly.
"Yeah, it's a fair bit to take in."
"Just a tad," Tanya chimes in, laughing lightly.
Rosalie lets out a heavy sigh before finally meeting my gaze.
"Look, I understand your situation and everything, Bella. But what you did was really hypocritical," she says quietly, looking away from me again. "I mean, you did to Edward exactly what your mother did to you. And you destroyed him," she adds, looking back into my eyes.
"I know," I whisper sadly.
"He's only just starting to get back to normal now because of Jessica fucking Stanley of all people," she murmurs. "She gave him that Big Brother program opportunity – which is just weird all on its own because he's become so attached to those kids its crazy. He's changed so much – he isn't the same person anymore," she adds, her voice becoming sad.
"I feel horrible," I tell her sadly. "But I'm going to do everything I can to make it up to him, and to the rest of you. I know things won't go back to normal straight away. I mean, I know I deserve to have to be forced to earn all your trust back," I add quietly.
"Yeah, you do," she says honestly, causing me to look away from her shamefully.
"Watch it," Tanya warns her in an icy tone.
"It's alright, Tan," I reassure her, letting out a hefty sigh. "Rose has always been an extremely honest person. It's what I love about her," I add, a small smile on my face. I glance over at Rosalie and she returns the gesture.
"As much as you've pissed me off and as much as I was an extreme bitch to you–"
"Understatement," Tanya says through a cough. Rosalie glares at her and Tanya quirks her brow, daring Rosalie to object to her statement.
"Anyway," Rose says. "Believe it or not, I am glad you're back," she adds sincerely.
"Thanks, Rose," I reply, my voice soft.
"And try not to worry about Edward too much, he'll come around. He was in a pretty bad place until he stopped feeling sorry for himself and got his shit together. But he loves you."
"Sometimes I'm not so sure," I mumble.
"I know him pretty well, so believe me when I say he still loves you," she says seriously. "He's just still hurting. He needs some time to get used to the fact you're back. For all he knows, you could just up and leave again. We all feel that way," she adds, shrugging her shoulders as though she doesn't know what else to say to reassure me.
"I will never do that again. I'm never leaving any of you," I reply seriously.
"Good. Because I'd probably hunt you down and kick your ass," she jokes.
I think.
Her tone still sounds pretty serious, so I'm not too sure.
"I don't doubt you for a second," I reply, laughing nervously. She grins at me before leaning over and embracing me in a tight hug.
"I missed you," she whispers.
"I missed you too, Rose," I murmur, wrapping my arms around her waist and hugging her tightly to me.
So this chapter is all about Bella explaining everything to the Cullen's... Minus Edward, obviously.
I'd just like to thank every single one of you who read my rant and understood where I was coming from. Your kind words and support mean everything to me.
Thank you to everyone who are still continuing to add this story to their alerts and favourites. I've gotten a fair few of them, but not many reviews. Come on, guys, drop me a comment of your thoughts. I don't bite, I promise ;)
I've written up to chapter 35 I'm working on chapter 36. Ch33, 34 and 35 are all sent off to my amazing Beta: Jenndur. So, I should be continuing my weekly updates without falling behind (:
I have seven chapters to complete - including chapter 36 - and then the story will be done. So the last chapter should be posted on the 9th of November - The Epilogue maybe a day or two afterwards. I'm not a complete evil troll, I'm not going to make you wait a week for the Epilogue.
natalee-x