Chapter Four

Anthony Senior

I closed my eyes trying to hold back the tears that threatened to come spilling out. I collapsed on the bed face down on the pillow wanting to just pull it around my face until I suffocated, so I was no longer there, in this world.

My boy would be free of me, I could never let him go while I was still alive.

I didn't in the end.

I ventured out and watched as my son cleared the table and watched TV in a silent controlled manner. He was a good boy, well-behaved and polite.

I went back into my room and turned my phone off. No one would have my child tonight.

The laptop blinked up at me as I shut the door behind me. I put the top up and read them words all over again. I chanted them in my head where they were already imprinted.

My eyes dropped and I was asleep before I knew it.

"No please, I don't want this" The thirteen year old boy screamed, fists flying.

"Just calm down" He was told.

"No" The boy shook his head violently and trashed his body trying to escape the confinements of the people holding him down to the bed.

Restraints were slapped on, the click of the chains as his limbs were locked down to the bed, the clanking as he pulled on them which was of no use. He would not get out. The white coats surrounding him stepped back then in leading file they left the room.

The boy looked right at the couple standing directly opposite it. "Let me talk to him" The cool calmed voice floated through to him, the coldness of it stepping into his bones.

"Of course Ms. Carmella Dujaz, and you Mr. Maxwell DiNozzo?"

"I no thank you"

Her heels clicked on the floor. One click, two click, three click. Her fingers came up and gripped the boy's chin, defiant showed in his eyes while his lips trembled. "Be a good boy" Her other hand came up and stroked his cheek, her lips pressing against his clammy forehead. "Yes?"

"Yes Ms"

"You better" She lifted his chin up and towards his father who stared impassively at him, just like he always did. "It's for your own good, you know?"

"Don't lie to me"

The slap comes sharp and fast, echoing throughout the room and his father didn't flinch even as his son's eyes did not leave his.

"Your'll stay here until you're better. Your father does not need your problems adding to his nerves"

He wanted to speak but he knew better. If he backed off, maybe just maybe she'd forget by the time he was back home.

His father didn't give him a glance just followed Dujaz's lead as always. Dujaz had been in his life as far as the boy could remember, there were glimpses here and there of before when they were just like any other father and son, then she had come along. His father didn't care no more for him because that's what Dujaz wanted and you followed Dujaz's lead no matter what. Over time it wasn't even Dujaz, his father didn't have it him in any more to care.

I woke screaming and trashing in the bed. "Daddy" Tony, my boy shook my shoulder hard.

I turned away but Tony was determined, getting into the bed and holding me to him. I started to relax and looked up at him, tears sticking to my long eyelashes.

"Daddy what's wrong?" Tony looked down at me with a frown, concern written all over his face.

"Bad dream of something that happened in the past"

"A vision in a dream" Tony nodded.

"Yes" I shuddered. "Did I say anything?"

"They can't hurt you any more daddy, it was just a vision" I could cry as Tony leaned down to hug me. I didn't deserve him, oh god I didn't deserve him.

"I'll make you hot choccie"

"Don't burn yourself" I choked out. He just smiled at me and walked out.

Tony would normally be going to middle school next year, he'd be excited and scared at the prospect of moving from Elementary to Middle school. But I couldn't let the boy go, I liked him in my sight and I knew exactly why I did.

He came back with the drink and handed it to me. I sat up against the back wall and take it from him. "Come here Tone"

I held the drink steady as I drew him into my side. We stayed there where I wanted to stay forever with my boy by my side, the one I didn't and never will deserve. "I love you Tone"

"Love you too daddy"

We get up twenty minutes later, Tony sat at the table as I cooked a fry up. I'm halfway through it when Tony leaned over and threw up. Yuck. "Tone-" I pushed back from the table before it went all over me. I hated sick.

"Don't feel good" He pushed his plate away.

I side step it and threw a towel at him. "Clean it up" I told him as I removed the plates of half eaten and three-quarters of uneaten food, throwing it away.

"Daddy I-"

"Don't" I held up a hand and he looked down at the table.

I sighed and picked him up gently. "I'm the one who should be apologising Tone" I set my nine year old son down on the sofa, throwing the quilt over him and handing the remote just as the phone rings.

I frowned as I picked it up, should no one be calling here. I could feel Tony's fearful gaze on me even as he settled on his all too favorite show.

"Hello Anthony?"

"Why don't you leave me alone? I got your email"

"You normally reply to an email"

"I didn't know what to say"

"Bullshit. Have you forgotten the consequences of lying to me?" Something pressed into my back but it didn't matter what it was, I knew who was wielding it.

I dropped the phone and I was turned around to meet her icy blue eyes as she withdraws what she had against my back. Her reflexes are still too fast for me to see anything. "And who's this?" She bounded over to Tony.

"It's okay" I told him. "This is-"

"Your grandma" Carmella answered for me making Tony relax an inch. "He's more beautiful then you ever was" Carmella smiled, her fingers running down his face. "How much is he? What's the average rate, like?"

"Why? Do you want him?"

"I'm an businesswoman Anthony and an accountant, I'm merely asking"

"You have no business here. He's my son, leave us alone"

"Such words" She stood up from where she was leaning over Tony. "Go boy, I need to talk to your father"

I nodded slowly for Tony to go and sat on the sofa, Carmella next to me.

"I'm asking Anthony" Carmella glanced at me, her hand on my knee. "I expect an answer"

I hated that she was here, that she still scared me. I was an adult, how could I be still scared? Maybe, a little voice in my head said, because dad was an adult and at first he was terrified until he became what she had been moulding him for. And she had managed with me, I always knew that.

If she had never been in my life, me and Tony would have a normal father and son relationship.

A tear slipped down my face splashing on my lap.

"I hate you" I whispered. "You ruined my son's life"

She laughed hard. I watched her until she calmed down and turned to me full on, a harsh glare settling over her face. "No you did that Anthony. All you"

"It was" I stood up, my face as equally dark as hers but while hers was full of venom mine was pure anger. "Me and my own dad were fine to you came along, you turned him against me so much that he stopped caring what you did to me"

"He never cared Anthony"

"He did, I remember" I brushed the tears away but more kept coming that there was really no point. "Then you-"

She shook her head and turned away from me. I leaped at her but before I could make contract she had spun around and knocked me to the floor. She kneeled down beside me where I lay with tears flowing and brushed my bangs away from my eyes. "You're still a child yourself Anthony" She stroked my cheek and I trembled.

"I'm here to help" She stood up and clicked her fingers and I heard footsteps. I pushed myself up from the floor to see two men step in, two long-time friends(servants) of Carmella's.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"This is for your own good" She said to me then nodded to the two men who stepped towards me while a woman and a man went into Tony's bedroom bringing him out between them.

"No" I threw myself towards my son but the men rushed me. "No you can't take my son away from me. Nooo"

"Daddy" Tony, my son panicked trying to get out of the hold they had on him. "Daddy"

"Tone baby" I screamed fighting the men holding me down. "No not my son, Tony!"

Tone was carried out the room, shouting and fighting followed by Carmella as the men restrained me.

I could hear the car taking off and all the fight just drained out of me. He was gone. She took my father away from me, she took my innocence then she made me take my sons, now he was gone.

The men left and I curled up in a corner hands around my knees trying to keep the aching hole deep in my chest intact as I rocked back and forth. Only one name was one my lips Tony.