You're pointing a sword at Dave. And laughing. And laughing. And then you stab him. Again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again, until all his blood has stopped flowing. You haven't stopped laughing once. You're not in hysterics though. You're just having fun. Lots and lots of fun. Why not share this fun with everyone else? a voice whispers in your ear. So you do. With Jade and Rose and a kid with triangle shades and one that looks like a young nanna and one with pink eyes and finally one that looked like a male Jade. Blood is flowing everywhere. But there's no-one left to share it with... What about yourself...? the voice whispers again. You like this voice. It's got lots of ideas. You stab and slice at yourself marvelling at the fountains you can make. Eventually though everything goes black...
And suddenly you get all the pain. So much of it. The pain you gave to everyone is now yours to feel. It's unbearable. You try and move, but it just hurts more. You hear a noise. You realise it's you. Shit. You feel something wrap itself around you. You try and squirm away from it, but it just holds you in place. You hear something. It's... music? The pain's receeding now. You try and follow the music. It's really familiar. You blink, and holy shit that's a bright light. You squint at it, and it comes into focus. It's the top of Dave's head. You blink a couple more times. It was a dream. You're awake now. Dave's awake too. He's holding you tight and humming. Oh. That explains a lot. The tune he's humming... It sounds like... That piano tune your dad taught you years ago. You snuggle up to Dave. He kisses you on the top of your head.
"Morning."
"Morning." Your voice is all croaky. Ugh.
"Bad dream?" You nod. He rubs your back. You feel your stomach grumble. Dave obviously hears it too if his chuckle is anything to go by.
"I'll make breakfast." You cling to him.
"But I don't want to moooooooove. I'm comfy."
"You don't have to move. Just stop being a limpet."
"Nope."
"John."
"Dave." He sighs and roll onto his side, facing away from you. You go and wrap your arms round his neck, and kiss him on the cheek. You see him grin triumphantly. Uh oh. He pins your arms where they are and quickly stands up. You squeak, and wrap your legs round Dave's waist. He lets you readjust your grip and then walks to the kitchen, you still on his back. He pulls out eggs, milk, flour and bacon. You rest you chin on his shoulder and watch. He mixes some of the milk, flour and couple of eggs together, and puts the batter to one side. He then scrambles two eggs together and puts that in the microwave. He grabs a grill pan and a frying pan, lays the bacon on the grill pan and sticks it under the grill. Into the frying pan he pours some of the batter. The microwave beeps. He gets the eggs out and mixes them a bit more before putting them back in the microwave but not starting it yet. He flips the pancake, and checks on the bacon. You've always enjoyed watching him cook. He's much better than you'd think. Apparently Bro taught him how to be a 'little domestic waifu' for the sheer hell of it. And probably because he didn't want to cook. Dave taps you on the forehead.
"Breakfast is served." You untangle yourself from his back and sit at the table. He places a plate with pancakes, bacon and scrambled egg in front of you.
"Dave."
"Mmph?"
"Did you seriously try and make these look like Nic Cage?" He grins at you.
"It worked then." You scowl at him.
"You know what I think of him now."
"Uh huh. The right thing." You stab at your plate.
"You know what would make this better?" you ask.
"Y̦̞͑ͦ̓͂͢o͊͋̔̍҉̩͉͢u̷̹̥̹̲͓̼̠̯̅ͥ͐̚ͅr͌͐ͯ͗̃͐ͩ҉̗̰̪̞͚͖ ̒̉́ͤ͒ͤ̐͛͒҉̘͍̪̜̩̮̟̰b̬̹̤̓͊̑͂̊̈͋́̕l̾͒̌̈́̌͋̃ͫ҉̩̼̲̰̰̞͔̱͟o̪̹̟̟̪ͮͩ́̆o̫͔̱̎ͨ̉̌ͦ͑͐̓͑͜ḋ̨̟͖͖̞ͪͫ " And boom there goes your appetite. You mumble something along the lines of 'if I didn't need the loo' and hurry to the bathroom. On the way you snag your phone. You see someone was trying to pester you. Rose. You open it up.
- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] -
TT: John.
TT: John.
TT: John, are you ok? You left in a hurry. What's up?
TT: John, please answer. Dave's going frantic with worry.
TT: He's going out to look for you now. Starting on your planet. You'd better have a good excuse ready.
TT: He found you. I can only guess what happened to your nose from what you told me.
TT: Pester me when you next find your phone.
EB: rose?
EB: you still there?
TT: John, how good to hear from you.
EB: ...is that sarcasm?
TT: No.
EB: o...kay.
EB: anyway why did you want me to pester you?
TT: You left in a hurry yesterday. I wanted to make sure you were ok.
EB: i'm fine!
TT: Dave was blaming himself for you leaving
EB: it wasn't his fault...
TT: Hmm. There are many things I can infer from that. The first one is that Lord English's voice is still there.
EB: ...yeah. it is.
TT: It said something to you.
EB: it did.
TT: What made you do the windy thing?
EB: i panicked.
TT: Because he flew after you... He said something about flying while you were fighting.
EB: uh huh.
EB: i don't want to go into detail though.
TT: Fine by me. Dave is pestering me, asking about you.
EB: don't tell him please!
TT: Calm down John. I wasn't going to. From what I hear, the voice came back... twice?
EB: four times.
EB: when he was setting my nose.
EB: before he took me to his.
EB: as i was about to fall asleep
EB: and just now.
TT: Hmm. May I enquire as to what he said?
EB: yes.
TT: What did he say?
EB: threatened to break my nose, i don't want to say, don't let lord english bite, and i'd rather not tell you the last one either.
TT: Thank you.
No-one says anything for a couple of seconds.
TT: Dave's worried about you.
EB: he is?
TT: You keep running away from him. He's scared he's saying the wrong things.
EB: but...
TT: But?
EB: ...'m scared too
TT: Right.
TT: So don't tell him yet. Just go to him. Be with him.
EB: but what if the voice comes back?
TT: Ignore it. It can't do anything. It has as much power over his body as Dave did in Derse.
EB: ...thanks rose.
TT: For what?
EB: reassuring me.
EB: being a good friend.
TT: No problem, John.
TT: Now go. And don't forget to flush the toilet.
The last message leaves you stumped for a second, before you remember your excuse to Dave. You actually do kinda have to pee, so you shove your phone in a pocket and relieve yourself. You flush the loo, wash your hands and walk back to the kitchen. Dave's sitting there, plate half empty, phone out. He looks up as you walk back in, and smiles at you. You grin back slightly, sit down in front of your food, and try and make yourself eat some of it. Luckily it's still slightly warm, and you manage a couple of mouthfuls. Dave's watching you, still texting occasionally. You put another forkful in your mouth. Dave sighs and puts his phone away. You glance up at him inquisitively.
"Rose." he says and stabs at his plate. You carry on eating. It's quiet, apart from the chink of metal on china for a few more minutes. You push your plate away when you've cleared about three-quarters of it. Dave looks up, finishing the last of his eggs up. You lean back in your chair and watch.
"Not hungry any more?" You shake your head. He looks at you for a second, shrugs to himself and picks your plate up, taking it to the sink. He turns the taps on, puts the plug in and squirts some washing up liquid in. You stand up, walk over to him and wrap your arms around him. He wraps an arm round your shoulders and pulls you close. You bury your head into his side, being careful of your nose. He rubs your shoulder. You turn your head to watch him wash up one handed. He's surprisingly good at it. You stay like that until he's finished. He leans down and presses a kiss to your forehead.
"Come on Egbert. Rose wants to talk."
"About what?"
"What we do next, I guess"
"Alright. Let's go." You take hold of his hand and walk up to the roof You pull the door open, and quickly shut it again.
"Wha-"
"Gazillions of imps."
"You ready to fight?" You get your hammer out and nod.
"Let's do this." He throws open the door. You hadn't realised quite how many imps there actually were. You smash one on the head, then gather a few up in a ball of air and smash them together. Dave's timestepping, so there's a few of him dotted around the roof. You jump in the air, smack an ogre, and giggle when you give it a ridiculous hat. Never gets old. Dave's finished off the rest of the ones on the roof and is collecting the grist. You hit the ogre again and it explodes into grist. You swoop down and collect the grist before it falls down to LOHAC. Dave's waiting on the rooftop for you.
"Race you."
"You're on."
"Three."
"Two."
"One."
"Go!" You both race up to the ring. You're pushing yourself forwards and Dave backwards with the wind. You think he's slowing down your time too. Or speeding up turn into the wind and reappear by Rose's ring. You pull a face at Dave, and see him wave a hand at you. Next thing you know, Dave's head is sticking out the ring and telling you to hurry up. You roll your eyes and dive in. Dave's waiting for you on the other side. You fly together into the living room. Rose is there, along with Karkat, Terezi and the mayor. You land on a sofa, and Dave sits next to you. Rose smiles at both of you and starts talking.
"We've reached the alpha version of the game..." You kinda tune her out. And definitely don't doze off on Dave's shoulder. Nope. Not at all. Dave definitely doesn't have to shake you awake. Not once. You don't blearily ask what you missed either, and Dave doesn't reply with Ỵ̗̯̝̟̹̝̍̒̎ͦͫo̢̻̥̩ͯ̊u̗̜̙̮̇rͬͨ͘ ̞̗̰̩͓̬̉̔ͦ̈́̚d͖ͤ͐͂̌̍̅̓o̖̣͎͚͎͔͊̂̏̃̕w̠̤͈͙͊ͫͫͮ͝n̋̎̊͌͛fͪ̓͏̘̫̠a̜̐͜l͋͛͑̈́l̠̮̳̓̋ͨ̎. Oh. You're quite awake now. It's silent. Everyone's looking at Dave. Well, you're looking down, Rose is looking at you, Dave is confused and the mayor is raiding Rose's cupboards for cans. So that's Karkat and Terezi staring at him.
"WHAT THE FUCK STRIDER. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK." Karkat seems to be preparing a full length rant, but is interrupted by a pillow to the face, courtesy of Terezi. Dave's looking very confused.
"I suddenly understand jack everything. I completely understand what's going on here. Completely and utterly." he pauses for a couple of seconds.
"I was being sarcastic. Someone please explain what's going on." He looks round.
"ASK SOM3ON3 3LS3."
"WOULD I HAVE FUCKING ASKED IF I KNEW."
"I don't know everything." He looks at you. You look away, to Rose. She smiles slightly at you. You sigh.
"It was you." you say quietly.
"What?"
"My nose. You did it." Before he gets a chance to interrupt you start to spill the story out. All of it. Without stopping. You even tell them about stabbing Dave. You don't realise tears are falling till Dave wipes them away. You pause for a second to scrub at your face, then tell them about how the voice came back. You stop talking. Silence. You wipe the rest of your tears off your face. Suddenly, an arm wraps itself round your shoulders. You look up into the face of the mayor. He grins at you. You smile shakingly at him. You do kinda feel better for spilling. Apparently the mayor's move was a catalyst. Rose was hugging you. And Terezi. Even Karkat hugged you briefly. You manage to worm a hand out to Dave, and wrap your hand round his. You squeeze it and rub the back with your thumb. Everyone disentangles themselves, and you shuffle closer t o Dave. He wraps an arm absent-mindedly round your shoulder. You snuggle up to him, and try to pay attention to Rose. Try to. Dave is obviously thinking about your story. Everyone glances at you occasionally. Eventually Rose stops talking. You make a mental note to pester her later, asking what went on. You nudge Dave.
"It's over, Dave." He blinks a couple of times. You think anyway, his ever-present shades are, as the name suggests, in place on his face.
"Hmm?"
"Rose has stopped talking. We can go now. We're free! And no socks involved."
"No Egbert. Just no." He stands up, shaking his head. You grin and jump up.
"It was worth a try."
"No. It wasn't."
"Aww." You follow Dave outside. He's quiet for a moment.
"...John?"
"Yeah, Dave?"
"..."
"Dave?" He turns to face you.
"I̡͈̬̠̭͚͉̭̋̈ͧ̚ ̨̥͕ͧͣ̓̃h̛͍̮͋͛aͪ͆̒̍̑̃v͓̱͙͔̩͎̒̄͆͛̾ͮe̼̗͓̜̠͎̿͗́ ̜̥͗̅ͤ̉m̶̗͓͎̹̈́ͭ͑ͯo͇̐ͧͥ́r̲̯̼̫ͯͤ͌̎ͤ̚e̲̬͈̙͒͗ͫͭ ͎͚̖̋͟c̷̹͓̙͈̲̹̮̑͒͑̆ͩo̻̣͓̖̟͟n̘͘t̢͙͕̳̗̤ͭ̾̋̊̒̾͛r͈o̭̱̝͙ͫ͋̏l͕ͪͥ͌͛͗̐ͮ ͙͚̘̠̺̈ͧ̉͆͘ͅt̤̲̹̘̱̺̫̅͘h͒̀҉̱͍̠͉̖̳ͅa̼̠͖ͥͭ̎̀͞n̲̩͉͓̙͓̆̓͑́͡ ҉y͍̗͇̺ͣ́o̦̱͑̀͐̊ͯ̄̾uͬ̂͒ͪ̃̌ ̰͈t̽ͤ͒͘h͖̰́ͯ̆ͦͥi̇̽ͅn͔̳͙̝̟̣̞̎k̙͎̊̉ͣ̀̈́͐.̡̣͓̣̼ͣ̊̄͐̅̆ͤ" Shit. Shit. Shiiiiiiiit. You take a step backwards. Dave claps a hand over his mouth. You hear him say a muffled
"What. The. Fuck. What the actual fuck. Is that what's been happening? Fuck. Fuck. Jegus." from behind his hand. You step closer to him again.
"You... You heard that one?" He nods, hand still in place.
"Why?" He shrugs, and peels his hand off of his mouth.
"Shit, Egbert." You walk over and take his hand in yours.
"It's going to be okay."
"How do you figure?"
"...There are alternate mes mourning the loss of their boyfriend. There are alternate mes that have been killed by LED-"
"LED?"
"Uh... Lord English's... Dave..."
"...Oh."
"There are alternate yous that are still under Lord English's control. Undoubtedly, there are timelines where this hasn't happened, and won't, but at least we still have each other, right?"
"Yeah..." You lean up and kiss him on the cheek.
"It will be fine."