Note: Bella's outift: http:/i44 . tinypic . com/ei585i . jpg
Chapter Thirty Nine – (Redemption)
BPOV
When Edward told me he was ready to hear the reason why I left the way I did, I couldn't help myself from feeling relived. I was also still a little bit scared that he'd hate me as soon as I told him, but I pushed those feelings aside and focused on the positive feelings building up inside me. The moment his lips connected with mine it was like the whole world disappeared and it was just him and I. All of the memories I've ever shared with him rushed through my mind like a movie projector was playing my life back to me. As soon as we pulled apart, I couldn't stop myself from telling him how much I love him and how thankful I am for him not giving up on me.
We sent playful texts to each other the next day before I went over to see him. I was so excited that things were finally becoming semi-normal between us again, that as soon as he opened the front door I closed the distance between us almost instantly and wrapped my arms around his waist. Alice ended up interrupting us and dragged me away to her room. I promised her I'd spend some time with her before spending the rest of the day with Edward, but she suddenly became extremely busy and couldn't spend much time with me after all.
I suspected Edward had something to do with that.
While I was with Alice, we talked about everything that has happened over the past few months and how so much has changed. She sulked about how she hardly got to spend any time with Jasper these days because he's constantly studying for his S. and then she began to groan about how that's going to be us next year and how much she's really not looking forward to it.
We talked about mine and Jessica's rekindled friendship and how glad I was to have her back in my life. I felt so bad about cutting her out of my life the way I did. She didn't deserve that, especially when she hardly had anyone else. I was really glad that she and Edward became friends – even if it did make me jealous at times – because that gave her someone to talk to. Jessica and I used to talk about everything, so when she didn't have me anymore and then when she stopped being friends with Lauren, Edward was there for her to talk to when she realized she was gay.
When Alice bought up mine and Edward's relationship and how everything was going with us, I had a feeling that she already knew half of what was going on. I told her about the night in Port Angeles, how amazing it felt to just relax and hang out with him and everyone else. It felt like we were back at the time before I left. Before everything got completely screwed up and complicated. When I told her that Edward told me he wants to be with me again, she didn't act as enthusiastically as I thought she would have, which just proved my thoughts were right about her already knowing half of the story.
x.X.x
"You already know, don't you?" I asked suspiciously.
"What?" she asked innocently.
"That I'm here today to talk to Edward…"
"Um?"
"About why I left," I said pointedly.
"Oh," she replied, smiling sheepishly at me. "Yeah, I do. But that doesn't mean I'm still not totally ecstatic about it! I'm so happy for you guys! I can't wait for you guys to get back together!"
"Alice, I don't even know if we're going to get back together."
"Of course you are! Why would he say he wants to be with you, if that's not the case?"
"Because he hasn't heard why I left. It's completely hypocritical. How do I know it won't just make him angry?"
"He won't act like that. You're freaking out about nothing," she insisted.
x.X.x
I laugh quietly to myself as I remember the conversation. Edward and I are getting back on track and I've never been this happy about anything before in my life.
The weight shifts under my bed as Tanya pounces on top of me. I groan in annoyance as she rolls off of me and lays by my side. I roll over so I'm facing her and narrow my eyes.
"Must you always do this to me in the morning?" I ask, letting out a heavy sigh. I glance at my dressing side table to notice that the coffee she usually provides me in the morning is missing. "Where's my coffee?" I ask, quirking my brow.
"Well, good morning to you too, grumpy pants," she teases.
"Trust me. I am anything but grumpy right now."
"Does this have something to do with seeing Edward yesterday?" she asks skeptically.
"Maybe," I reply elusively, turning my head and giggling into my pillow.
"Ohhhh! Spill everything!" she says excitedly, slapping her hands next to my head.
"You're as bad as, Alice," I mumble before meeting her gaze again.
"Details. Now," she says seriously. I let out a heavy sigh before jumping into my explanation of what happened when I went over to the Cullen's yesterday afternoon.
I explain how completely wrecked with nerves I was while explaining everything to him. Especially when he addressed the fact that what I did to him was exactly what my mother did to me. All of my fears about him hating me and not wanting anything to do with me because of how hypocritical I was had come rushing into my mind. So, I did everything I could to explain everything to him properly about how insecure and scared I was back then, trying to the best of my ability to convey the feelings I felt the night he told me he loved me. Thankfully, he understood everything but just wished I'd gone to him instead of running off. I tell Tanya about how I told Edward that she was the one who encourage me to face my fears, deal with my mistakes and write to him. I explain how he felt bad about not listening me as soon as I came back because it just made everything worse, even though he had every right to act and feel that way. I tell Tanya how Edward and I said that we both never stopped loving each other the entire time I was away, and we are who we are today because of everything that happened between us, which also lead us to our make out session.
"Oh my god!" she exclaims excitedly. "So you guys are back together?"
"Yeah," I reply sheepishly.
"Well, it's about time! Gosh!"
"Yeah, that's what Emmett said when he barged into the room and interrupted us."
"He didn't!" she says incredulously.
"Yep," I reply, laughing lightly. "Then Rosalie came in and smacked him the back of the head. It was actually quite amusing."
"God, love her," Tanya chuckles. "Anyway, do you want breakfast? I was gonna make bacon and eggs."
"I knew there was a reason I loved you," I joke.
"Funny," she replies sarcastically, rolling her eyes at me before climbing off my bed and walking out of my room.
I have a quick shower and change into my navy blue high-waist, pin-up shorts, white plain T-shirt with my black and white leopard print scarf. I hear the murmur of voices and soft laughter as I make my way to the kitchen. Jessica is sitting on one of the kitchen stools as Tanya works away in the kitchen and serves up breakfast.
I can't stop the grin that forms on my face at seeing them two together.
Jessica turns her head at the sound of my approach and smiles kindly at me. I return the gesture before closing the distance between us and slinging my arm across her shoulders and squeezing her into my side.
"Hey, Jess," I say before releasing her.
"Hey, Bella. What are your plans for the day?" she asks kindly.
"I have no idea," I reply honestly.
"Bullshit," Tanya scoffs.
"What?" Jess asks curiously.
"She and Edward have rekindled their flame," Tanya jokes.
"You are such an old soul," Jessica teases.
"You love it," Tanya replies, winking at her.
"Anyway," says Jessica. "So you and Edward are back together?" she asks.
"Yeah."
"That's great. I'm so happy for you," she says sweetly.
"Aww, you're such a cutie," Tanya coos, leaning over the kitchen bench to pinch Jessica's cheek. Jessica swats Tanya's hand away and narrows her eyes.
"Shut up," she mumbles embarrassingly.
Tanya chuckles to herself as she walks around the island and stands in between Jessica's legs and wraps her arms around her neck. "I was just playing," she says, grinning at Jessica.
Jessica rolls her eyes before winding her arms around Tanya's waist. "You're so annoying sometimes, you're lucky I love you."
Tanya's expression turns to shock, causing Jessica's eyes go wide as she realizes what she just said. Jessica bites her bottom lip and looks away from Tanya, her arms slumping to her sides. Tanya grabs Jessica by the chin lightly, gently forcing her to meet her gaze. Tanya grins at Jessica before kissing her lightly on the lips. Jessica's mouth turns up into a smile after Tanya pulls away.
"I love you too, Jessie," Tanya says softly.
"Awww, you guys are so cute!" I mock Tanya, pinching them both on the cheeks and running around the island before they can swat at me.
When Tanya, Jessica and I are in the middle of eating breakfast my phone beeps, signaling that I have a text message. I pull my phone out of my pocket, a smile automatically forming on my lips as I see it's from Edward.
HEY BEAUTIFUL, CAN I COME OVER? X
"Is that from lover-boy?" Tanya teases, catching my attention.
"Leave her alone," Jessica scolds, rolling her eyes.
"Yep," I reply before texting Edward back.
PLEASE DO. X
"What's he saying?" Tanya asks.
"Do you always have to be so nosy?" Jessica asks incredulously.
"He just wanted to know if he could come over," I tell her.
"He asked permission?" she asks, her voice filled with amusement.
"Yes," I reply. "He's not like you, he doesn't just turn up unexpectedly."
"Oh, whatever."
"She's got a point," Jessica says, laughing softly.
"You bitches love me."
"Not when you pounce on top of me in the morning without having coffee ready for me," I retort just as my phone chimes again.
BE OVER IN TEN. IS T HOME? X
YEAH, SO IS JESS. GET HERE NOW. X
THAT BAD, HUH? X
THEY'RE TORTUING ME. HURRY. X
I'LL BE FASTER THAN THE FLASH ;)
STOP TALKING AND DRIVE! :P
"God, what are you two saying?" Tanya asks.
"Nothing."
"You're whining about me, aren't you?"
"Am not."
"That just proves you are," she replies, laughing lightly.
"When is he coming over?" Jessica asks.
"In ten minutes," I reply, my smile escalating.
"Fuck me drunk, he's not messing around, is he?"
"Tanya!" Jessica exclaims before slapping Tanya on the arm.
"What?" Tanya asks innocently.
"Do you have to talk like that?" Jessica asks.
"Babe, you know I swear like a sailor, it's nothing new," Tanya replies.
"She's got you there, Jess," I say, laughing softly.
"You're just as bad, though. I think Tanya was a bad influence on you," Jessica says, the corners of her mouth turning up into a smile.
"Yep," I reply, popping the P for emphasis. "I've been totally corrupted," I add.
A knock at the door interrupts our conversation.
"Guilty as charged," Tanya says, but I'm already off the kitchen stool and running for the door before she finishes her sentence.
I open the door with a grin on my face.
"Hey," I greet him kindly.
"Hey," he replies, returning my smile before tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, causing my cheeks to flush.
I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around his waist. I feel him plant a kiss on the top of my head. I smile against his chest before pulling away.
"This was in your mailbox," he says, my whole body freezing as he hands me a letter that is definitely from my mother. He looks at me quizzically as I take it from him slowly. I smile reassuringly at him before entwining my hand with his and leading him inside. He closes the door behind him before I lead us to the couch. I place the letter on the coffee table before leaning into his chest.
Tanya and Jessica must have noticed that he handed me the letter because they join us in the lounge room.
Tanya picks up the letter before sitting down on the coffee table, her body facing Edward and I. "Are you going to read it?" she asks softly.
"Later."
"Bella…" Jessica says.
"I'm fine, okay? I'll read it later," I assure them. Tanya lets out a heavy sigh before glancing at Edward.
"So, come to rescue your lady, have you?" Tanya jokes, changing the subject.
"Hey, Edward," Jessica says kindly, rolling her eyes at Tanya. Edward laughs lightly, shaking his head with amusement.
"You've got it right, Tanya," he says.
"I don't know what she tells you. I am the nicest person on planet earth," she says innocently.
"Ha!" I scoff.
"You just need to add some cement in your coffee and harden the fuck up," Tanya teases, her voice filled with sweetness.
"Tanya! Seriously?" Jessica scolds her again.
"Get used to it, precious," Tanya replies, pecking Jessica on the lips quickly before laughing to herself.
"You're entertaining to be around, I'll give you that," Edward tells her.
"I do my best," Tanya replies proudly, grinning at Edward.
He chuckles lightly before looking at me and smiling softly. I return the gesture as he leans forward and presses his lips against mine. I kiss him back softly, my hand wrapping around his neck to pull him closer to me.
"Ummmm," Tanya says awkwardly. "Okay, I'll stop being a smartass if you guys stop doing that," Tanya adds pleadingly. I smile against Edward lips and laugh softly before pulling away.
"What? Can't handle your own medicine?" I ask, quirking my brow.
"We are not that bad," Tanya says defensively.
"Actually, we kind of are," Jessica murmurs to herself, her cheeks flushing scarlet as she realizes she said it our loud.
"Jess, you aren't meant to admit it," Tanya says before laughing hysterically at Jessica's expense.
"Why do you put up with her?" I ask Jessica.
"Sometimes, I don't even know," she replies, letting out a heavy sigh.
"Whatever, are we gonna head off now or what?" she asks, turning to face Jessica.
"Might as well," Jess replies, shrugging nonchalantly.
"Jeez, don't look so enthusiastic," Tanya teases.
"Shut up, will you?" Jess retorts.
"Do you want me to hurt you?" Tanya asks. "And I don't mean in the good way," she adds tauntingly.
"Gross," I mumble. "I did not need to hear that."
"Oh my god, let's just go," Jessica says, her cheeks flushing again as she grabs Tanya by the arm and drags her outside.
After Tanya and Jessica leave, Edward asks what all the hype over the letter is about. I tell him it's from my mom, and that I've been writing to her. He asks if they're too personal for him to read. I roll my eyes and shake my head in amusement before going into my room and bringing them out to him. He reads through them silently, his eyes widening in shock, his forehead creasing in deep thought a few times and eventually glancing over at me, his expression filled with compassion and sympathy.
After he reads the letters, we decide to lighten the mood by cuddling up on the couch to watch some movies throughout the day. It's a bit hard to concentrate on the films, though, especially when he's distracting me by playing with my hair and planting random kisses against my forehead, temple and cheek.
We end up in a few make out sessions throughout the films too. Well, that is until things begin to get a little too heated and we have to pull apart from each other, which ends up with my cheeks going as red as a fire-truck. I don't think I've ever wanted anything so much in my life, as much as I want to go to the next step in our relationship. But I know we can't rush into anything and we have to take things slowly.
Which is extremely annoying.
"What's wrong?" Edward asks softly.
"Nothing," I mumble.
"Bella," he addresses me sternly.
"It's nothing. I'm just being stupid."
"Is this about us not going further?" he asks hesitantly.
"Yes," I reply indulgently, letting out a heavy sigh.
"I don't want to rush into anything."
"I know. I don't either."
"Then what's the problem? You're not thinking that I don't want you, are you?" he asks uncertainly.
"No?" I reply questioningly.
"Bella!" he groans, resting his head against the back of the couch before turning his body to face me.
"What? I can't help it!" I respond defensively.
"When will you ever see yourself clearly? Or see how much I love you? I have never wanted anyone so much in my life. I just want to do this the right way."
"You make me feel like some crazy villain temptress trying to steal your virtue," I mumble.
"It's not my virtue I'm worried about," he says seriously.
"That is so bloody ancient, it's not even funny."
"I'm not joking."
"We live in the twenty-first century, Edward. Not the nineteen hundreds."
"That's just how I was brought up."
"Please do not tell me you're going to make me wait until we're married or something."
"You'd marry me?" he ask, his infamous smirk plastered on his face.
"Uh… I, um," I sputter. "Yeah?" I reply questioningly.
"You don't seem too confident about that," he jokes.
"Are you asking me to marry you?" I retort, quirking my brow.
"No," he replies, laughing lightly. "Not yet, anyway," he adds.
"So much for not rushing things," I reply sarcastically.
"We aren't rushing anything. I just need you to know that I do want you in that way, I just want it to be right."
"I know you want me, I'm not an idiot."
"Really?" he asks skeptically. "Because sometimes I'm not so sure you know how much I want to be with you."
"I feel wanted," I mumble. "So, I know you want me," I add softly.
"Well, what's the problem then?" he asks softly.
"I haven't felt that in a long time."
"Why?" he asks incredulously.
"Because of my mom," I murmur.
"That wasn't your fault," he says tenderly, cupping my face in his hands. "I'm sure you're mother had her reasons for leaving. It certainly sounds like it from those letters she sent you. There's no way she left because of you. You gravitate people towards you, Bella, not push them away," he adds seriously.
"I pushed you away," I mumble, looking up at him. "And besides, she even said in the letters that she left for my sake, so therefore, she left because of me."
"I think you shouldn't assume anything until everything is explained to you. I mean, I did that when you left and you had a pretty serious reason why you did what you did."
"Yeah, I know. I just, I don't know? I'm scared, I guess."
"I understand. But your mom could have a serious reason why she left. Maybe she was in trouble or someth–"
"What do you mean she could have been in trouble? What kind of trouble?" I ask panicked, cutting him off.
"I don't know, but it might be in that letter you got today. Why don't you open it?" he asks.
"I don't know…"
"Bella, you won't know until you read it."
"Okay," I reply hesitantly, letting out a heavy sigh before leaning forward and picking the letter up off the coffee table. Edward smiles at me and wraps his arms around my waist as I sit back down. I lean back into his chest, biting my bottom lip as I open the letter.
Bella, honey, of course I would reply to you. Oh, baby, I didn't mean for everything to go downhill for you so badly. Charlie hates you? I highly doubt that, he's probably just hurt and confused. He would never or could ever hate you, you're his baby girl. But I guess him becoming a 'drunk' as you put it, would add to the effect of his anger towards me. He's only taking it out on you, and for that I'm so sorry. I feel completely horrible. I thought at least he would see the hidden message in my letter that I wasn't well. You have no reason to feel guilty, but I can understand you feeling that way. I guess I didn't phrase the letter too well. I didn't write to you because I couldn't and I didn't want to at the time. I have a lot to explain, which I want to do in person. But I will tell you one thing that I hope will help answer some of your minor questions. I was sick, baby. I didn't want you to see me that way. I know you have many questions, sweetheart. And I will answer all of them when I come to see you. Ring this number and let them know if you want to see me. They'll pass the message on to me. 718-613-4000
I love you. Love, mom.
"What does it say?" Edward whispers in my ear.
I sit forward and turn my head to face him. "She wants to come here to see me. She gave me a number to call to confirm if I want her to. She also said she left because she was sick."
"See, I told you," he says, smiling softly at me. "I don't think she'd lie about that. Are you gonna call her?" he asks.
"Yeah. I mean, I think I should. I want to see her and I want to know everything," I say quietly. "And she has to meet you," I add cheekily.
"I'm flattered," he replies through a laugh before asking, "Do you want to call now?"
"Should I? I mean, will that seem too eager?"
"Babe, you don't know when she sent that letter. She's probably waiting for you to call."
"Really?" I ask hesitantly.
"Don't think about it, just do it," he says encouragingly, handing me his cell phone.
"Okay," I reply, taking the phone out of his hand and dialing in the number. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly as the phone begins to ring.
And ring…
And ring…
"Maybe she gave me a phony number?" I say nervously, covering the phone with my hand.
"Interfaith Medical Center, Nurse Irina speaking, how may I help you?" she answers, my eyes going wide as she catches me off guard.
"Oh. Um, hi, my name's Bella Swan."
"Bella! Renee said we might get a call from you. You're her daughter, right? What can I do for you?" she asks kindly.
"Yes, um, she just said to call and confirm–"
"Oh! Speak of the devil, here she is now," she exclaims, cutting me off. "Would you like to speak to her?" she asks.
"Okay?" I reply hesitantly. "Sure," I mumble.
"Renee, it's your daughter, Bella. She wants to speak to you."
I close my eyes and take another deep breath to calm myself down. I haven't heard my mothers voice in five years and it feels completely surreal that I'm about to speak to her now. I snap my eyes open as Edward cups my cheek in his hand. I lean into his touch and lock my gaze with his. He gives me a reassuring smile as he plays with my hair and plants a kiss on my cheek. I smile lightly at him in return before my mother's voice catches my attention.
"Bella?" she says hopefully.
"Hey, Mom," I reply, my voice quiet.
"How are you, baby?"
"Pretty confused, actually. But I'm okay, I guess."
"I know you must be extremely confused, I don't blame you. Did you get my letter?"
"Yeah," I reply quietly. "I do want you to come see me, When can you come?" I ask.
"I can come down in a few days, if that's alright?"
"Really? So soon?"
"Of course," she replies, laughing lightly. "Unless you don't want me to come that soon," she adds uncertainly.
"No, no, I want you to come," I reassure her. "I was just, shocked…" I say quietly, my voice trailing off.
"Honey, what's wrong? You're being very quiet," she says concerned.
"I just, I have a lot of different emotions running through me right now. I can't tell you how good it is to hear your voice. I miss you so much," I tell her quietly, my voice breaking as a sob escapes my chest. Edward tightens his hold on me and kisses me on my temple.
"Oh, baby, I miss you too. Please don't cry. I'm so sorry, I'll be with you soon, I promise."
"Are you okay, love?" Edward asks softly beside me as the tears continue to fall down my face. I nod my head at him before leaning into his chest.
"Who's that? Is that a boy?" she asks skeptically.
"That's Edward," I murmur, causing Edward to smirk at me.
"Is he your boyfriend?"
"Why are you in a medical center? What's wrong?" I ask, changing the subject.
"Oh, honey, I'll explain everything when I see you."
"Can't you tell me now?" I wine. "Please?" I plead.
"I really don't want to tell you over the phone, sweetheart."
"Well, I don't care. You owe me an explanation, Mom," I tell her quietly, my tone serious.
"I know I've put you through a lot. But I am not having this conversation with you over the phone. End of discussion," she says sternly.
"Fine," I reply angrily, huffing in frustration.
"Bella, try not to be so harsh," Edward says softly, kissing me on the temple. I roll my eyes and let out a heavy sigh.
"And don't think I didn't notice you changing the subject. I'm not that dense, young lady. Who is that boy on the other end of the phone?" she asks suspiciously. Edward must have heard what she said because he chuckles lightly beside me.
"Yes, Mom, he's my boyfriend,"I murmur.
"Gosh, you're growing up so fast! How long have you been together, is he good to you, are you being safe?"
"Oh my god, Mom, just stop," I reply horrified.
"I guess we can talk about all of that when I come down to see you."
"Yeah, sure," I reply reluctantly.
"We will talk about this, Bella," she says seriously.
"Look, you seriously don't have to worry. Edward is more than good to me, Mom," I glance over at Edward to see he has a big smile on his face. He leans down and chastely kisses me on the lips.
"Well, I hope so," she mumbles before adding, "Oh shoot. I'm really sorry, honey. But I have to go now."
"Oh. Okay," I reply reluctantly.
"It was nice talking to you, baby. I can't wait to see you again, and to meet this boy, how exciting!"
"Oh God, please do not make a scene when you come here."
"There is nothing wrong with me being happy that my baby girl has found a man."
"You did not just say that," I reply mortified, Edward laughing beside me.
"Don't be so ridiculous. You're still as stubborn and self conscious as you were five years ago."
"I'm not the same person as I was back then," I reply sternly.
"I didn't say that, Bella. Anyway, I'll see you soon. I love you, baby. Bye."
"I love you too, Mom," I reply quietly. "Bye," I add through a sigh before hanging up.
Did that really just happen? Did I seriously just talk to mother for the first time in five years? I have so many conflicted emotions traveling throughout me that I don't even know where to start to try and explain how I feel. I didn't realize how much I really missed her and craved her presence until hearing her voice again. I have so many questions, and I'm completely and utterly confused and overwhelmed that her side of the conversation was expressed in a medical clinic.
Why the hell is she there? She said that's why she had to leave because she was sick. But what kind of sick was she? I'm so frustrated that she didn't give me any details. I get that she wants to talk to me about it in person, but she could have at least told me something. Now I'm just going to go completely bonkers trying to figure out what is or was wrong with her until she gets here.
And so that brings up that subject. What's going to happen when she comes back? Hearing her voice and actually seeing her is a completely different thing. But speaking to her just then felt like she never even left in the first place. It was as though she was just away on a holiday or a business trip or something. But what if the anger and resentment I have towards her for leaving resurfaces when she comes back and I ruin the whole reunion with her. I guess I just need to take Edward's advice on keeping myself calm and trying not to be too harsh on her because she has her reasons for why she left and she's coming to explain them to me.
Just like I did for Edward.
"Are you okay?" he asks concerned.
"Yea," I reply, glancing up at him. "Just, trying to process everything." I add softly.
God, what the hell is going on with my emotions right now? I'm scared, angry, excited, frustrated, happy, regretful, resentful… I'm completely conflicted right now and I hate it. If I feel like this, I can't even imagine the way Edward felt when I left and then came back. Alice told me a few things that happened after I left and I felt horrendous about being the cause of the sort of pain that lived within Edward. I hate that I was the cause of that. Like I told him yesterday, I'd rather my heart be broken and him not want me at all, than be the reason for his pain. I'm so overwhelmed I can't stop the tears that form in my eyes and fall down my face or the sobs that begin to rock throughout me uncontrollably.
"Hey," he says softly, cupping my face in his hands. "Why are you crying?"
"I'm so sorry for running off. I just got so scared. I don't deserve you for pushing you away the way I did,"
"Bella, we already sorted all of this out."
"I know, but I still feel so terrible about everything. I shouldn't be with you, I don't deserve you," I reply before beginning to get up off the couch. Edward places his hands on my hips and spins me around before pulling me down onto his lap so I'm straddling him.
"Bella, I pushed you away too, remember?" he says, cupping my face in his hands again. "We were both hurt and scared, but we're together now and that's all that matters."
"But what if I do something stupid like that again? I know you won't forgive me."
"Bella, I love you. I'm never letting you go again."
"Really?" I ask hesitantly, causing him to laugh lightly as he shakes his head with amusement.
"Of course I love you. I remember quite clearly telling you that on Thanksgiving," he replies, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "And yesterday," he adds cheekily.
"I love you too," I whisper, keeping my eyes locked with his.
"Do you now?" he quips, his lips turning up into his crooked grin as he leans in closer to me.
"I remember quite clearly telling you that at Jacob's party," I reply, my breathing becoming heavy. "And last night," I mock, smiling at him before biting my bottom lip.
"I'm sorry for being such a jerk," he says seriously.
"Me too," I say breathlessly, our faces inching closer and closer before his lips finally connect with mine and he kisses me passionately.
I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back with as much love as I can muster. God, I've missed him so much. He runs his tongue along my bottom lip. I open up to him and he darts his tongue inside my mouth, a moan escaping both of us at the contact we've so longingly missed. As he runs his hands under my shirt and up my back, I run my hands over his clothes and up his body, making my way into his hair. A grunt of pleasure escapes him as I pull on his hair lightly, causing him to kiss me more fervently.
I don't know how long we make out like that for, but when Edward pulls away and places his hands on my shoulders, I open my eyes to see the top half of our clothes strewn everywhere. I didn't even notice we did that. I glance over at the windows to see that it's dark outside. Tanya should have been home by now. I guess she stayed at Jessica's.
I pant heavily, trying to catch my breath. I bite my bottom lip as he eyes the top half of my body hungrily. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before opening them again and meeting my gaze.
"As much as I want to continue, I think we should stop," he says, his voice husky.
"Why?" I whine.
"I don't want to rush into anything. We aren't ready."
"Okay," I reply slowly, turning away from him as I feel the sting of rejection hit me. I pick up my shirt up off the ground and put it back on.
"Hey," he says soothingly as he runs his hand down my arm and entwining our hands together. "You know I want to, I just want it to be special for you," he adds seriously.
"It's with you; I don't need it to be any more special than that," I reply quietly, giving him a small smile before a yawn escapes my lips. "Ugh. I'm so tired," I say, yawing again.
"I should probably go then," he says reluctantly, buttoning up his shirt and moving to get off the couch.
"Can you stay?" I ask quietly, grabbing him by the arm to stop him from standing.
"Bella…"
"Nothing has to happen, I just want to be with you," I say quietly. "Please?" I add pleadingly.
He smiles at me softly before nodding his head. I breathe a sigh of relief before standing up off of the couch and entwining his hand with mine and lead him to my room. I let his hand fall from mine as I go into the bathroom to change. I walk out to see Edward is already in my bed, bare-chested. My eyes roam over his body which causes him to quirk his brow.
"Like what you see?" he jokes, smirking cockily at me.
I smile sheepishly at him as I make my way over to the bed, the blush running into my cheeks. I crawl into bed and scoot over closer to him. He wraps his arms around me and plants a kiss on the top of my head.
"Sweet dreams, beautiful," he says softly.
"Goodnight," I murmur sleepily, closing my eyes as another yawn escapes me.
The last thing I hear before I fall asleep is Edward whispering 'I love you.'
Hey guys! I felt heaps bad about the late updates, so I decided to post this one early!
So, Bella and Edward's relationship is on the road to recovery, and Bella gets another letter from Renee, then calls her. What did you guys think of everything that went down between all the characters?
Thank you to everyone who have left me reviews. A lot of you are so, so beautiful and I have no words to express how much your kind words mean to me. It feels so amazing to read reviews where you tell me the chapter made you cry (good tears and bad) and that it tugs at your heartstrings and makes your emotions go insane.
I never thought in my life, that I'd ever touch anyone in that way, so it really warms my heart to hear that my story actually means something to you guys.
Thank you to my beautiful lady, Jenndur, for being the most fantastic Beta, ever x
natalee-x