Trouble in Twin Town
No More Secrets
For about two weeks after Dustin came back, I had been avoiding him. The whole guilt thing was really starting to get to me by then. I just had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that something bad was gonna happen. There wasn't any specific warning. I just knew it was something bad. This past week my parents had gone back to arguing, just like that. One Tuesday, I knew that things had gotten really rough when I tiptoed downstairs and heard my dad crying on the couch in the living room. I quickly tiptoed back upstairs so he never knew I was there. Two days later, mom and dad took Angela and me for ice cream after a half day at school and then sat us down at the kitchen table. Angela and I knew something was up because the last time they did that, dad left for four months.
"Girls, before we start, we just want to say we love you both so much. More than anything in this world." Mom began.
"But sometimes, adults can do everything to fix their problems and it doesn't work out. We want to make sure you girls know that none of this is your fault." Dad said.
"Oh, God." I whispered.
"Girls," Mom said while holding both of our hands across the table. "Your father and I are breaking up."
"Oh, God. I knew it!" I yelled.
"Now, Lilith before you get angry-"
"Too, late. I'm already angry. What did that whore do now, huh?" I was furious.
"Now, young lady. Please refrain from using that kind of language. It's not called for." My dad said calmly.
"How can you be so calm? You're breaking up our family and I know that…that maid has something to do with it. I thought you left her. I thought you were gonna stay with your family." I pleaded to my dad. At that point I felt like I needed to fight. I loved both of my parents and the four months when dad was gone after mom caught him cheating were pure hell. Mom was even more bitter and angry than usual. She wouldn't let dad in the house, either. He had to sneak and pick us up at school.
"The circumstances have changed, Lilith." My mom said to me.
"What circumstances?" I bluntly demanded.
"Oh, I'm not sure if I should go into detail about-"
"What circumstances!" I cut mom off before she could finish. My dad sighed heavily and put his head in his hands for a few seconds and mom looked down at the table.
Angela and I looked at each other quizzically.
"Well," Angela finally chirped in after minutes of silence.
"The circumstances are different because Kaylynn, I mean Ms. Langerak…," he sighed heavily again.
"She and I are… she's having a baby…and it's mine."
Angela and I just stared across the table at dad for a few minutes. The news was just too terrifying to believe. I really hoped he was joking or that maybe this was just some nightmare. I pinched my leg underneath the table and realized it was no dream. This was real. This was my life.
"Are you sure it's yours?" I asked.
"Very sure." My dad answered, embarrassed.
"How do you know she isn't lying?" Angela asked angrily.
"That's enough, alright!" Dad suddenly got mad and banged his fist on the table.
"Look, girls, I know this is very hard to deal with right now, but we'll get through it. Perhaps we should finish this discussion tomorrow." Mom said trying to calm the atmosphere a bit.
Angela and I both stomped angrily upstairs to Angela's room and slammed the door.
"How could this be happening?" Angela asked as she plopped face first on her bed. "He's been married to mom for 18 years and we have no siblings. How does he suddenly get her pregnant?"
"She is much younger than mom is. I think around 25 or something."
"Well I don't care how old she is. I think she's lying. I think she's up to something." Angela mumbled into her pillow. It's a good thing we have twin telepathy or I wouldn't have caught a word she said.
"There's more to the story that we don't know, yet. Maybe they'll invite her over and tell us the whole story. Then we can trap her in a lie." I deviously said.
"That may not best idea, Lilith. Did you see the look on mom's face when dad said Kaylynn was pregnant? She already knew, and she still looked like she wanted to kill him."
"Yea, you're right," I agreed with Angela, for once. "As much as I hate that woman, I don't want to be an accessory to murder."
"Maybe if we get dad alone he'll give us more to the story. I have a feeling that there are things he didn't want to say in front of mom." I suggested.
"Yea, tomorrow we should talk to him."
Angela and I said goodnight and went to bed. Dustin texted me a couple of times so I just turned my phone off. I just wished he would get the hint already.
The next morning was Saturday and mom was already at work. Angela and I went downstairs, ate breakfast, and watched TV as we waited for dad to get up.
When he finally did, we sat at the kitchen table and waited.
Dad came in with the morning paper, as usual. He sat at the counter and read then suddenly looked up at us.
"This is about last night, isn't it?" he said to us.
"Yes, it is. We know there might be things you didn't want to say before," I said.
"Yea, since mom was here. But now that she's gone…" Angela trailed off.
Dad sighed and put the paper away.
"Look, girls I'm sure I've told you and your mother everything I can remember. But I guess I could start from the beginning." Dad pulled out a chair from the table and sat with us.
"Months ago, as you know, Ms. Langerak was our housekeeper. She did an excellent job keeping things clean and was a very kind woman as well. But like many young, attractive, women in menial jobs she was looking for a way out. She began flirting with me ever now and then. She would give me compliments and gestures at first. Then it became more obvious with pinching and grabbing."
"Dad, gross." I interjected because, well, it was gross.
"Sorry, I'm keeping as clean as I can while sticking to the story. So, anyway, one day she came to me at the end of her shift and told me her van wouldn't start and if I could take a look at it. I looked and couldn't find any engine related problems, but the car wouldn't start even though the engine was fine. Then I looked down at the dashboard and saw that she had no gas."
"Why don't you have any gas?" I asked her.
"Well, I was going to get some after my shift. But now, I guess, I can't. Can you drive me home?" she said in an innocent voice.
"I figured she was just not very knowledgeable about cars and that she really didn't know how much gas she had in the tank. So I drove her home."
Dad stopped and sighed again.
"Why'd you stop?" I asked.
"I really don't know how I can tell this story to my daughters. Have I not suffered enough?" he asked in a begging tone. Angela and I remained silent and he continued.
"Well I had just planned to drop her off at the front until I actually saw the neighborhood she lived in. Graffiti was everywhere and there were drug dealers and hobos standing at every corner. I know it sounds like I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. I felt so bad to just leave her on the sidewalk and drive off. I could have just waited until she went inside her house and then drove off but I heard a gunshot and I-I mean she got scared so she asked me to walk her inside the house.
"I can see where this is going," I exclaimed.
"So I walked her into her house and sat on the couch while she went into her room to change her shoes, or so she said.
I sat and watched her TV and she returned and asked me if I wanted something to drink. I responded 'yes' without turning around. When she brought me my drink I turned around and saw what she was wearing. A short, pink, low-cut nightgown exposing her…um…figure."
"Told you she was a whore." I just had to say it.
"Language, Lilith." dad reminded me.
"She handed me a wine glass and then seductively asked me if I wanted to stay for a while. I told her no because I have work in the morning. She asked me if I was sure because it may not be safe to go outside. I heard another gunshot and decided I would stay one more hour. She offered the wine again and I declined because I needed to drive home. She told me I probably wouldn't get home that night. Then, as if by cue, it started raining hard. I sighed and took the glass of wine. We sipped it together and sat in the living room and talked…until the lights went out."
"Dad!" Angela protested.
"No, the power went out. It was completely dark so Kaylynn asked me to go in the kitchen and look for some candles. I went and dug through every drawer in the kitchen and was suddenly attacked. Kaylynn grabbed me around my shoulders and pulled me close to her, I tried to push her away, but she's really strong."
"And you had been drinking." Angela mentioned.
"Right," dad said embarrassed. "So, she basically attacked me and pushed me onto her counter and I scraped my leg on one of the open drawers. I tried to get down from the counter to go see about my leg but she trapped me there. She wouldn't move no matter how much I pushed. Keep in mind that it was pitch black dark and I couldn't see anything so any attempts to get off the counter could have resulted in a severe injury. She climbed on me and…"
"And," Angela and I repeated.
"I can't discuss this with my kids, I just can't. Leave it up to your imaginations, okay?"
"So you did it with her?" Angela asked.
"Yes," dad said in a guilt ridden voice. "The lights came back on about 20 minutes later and I rushed out of the apartment and drove right home."
"But you had been drinking. How could you drive?" I asked.
"Belief you me, I was so sweaty from nerves I think all the alcohol was out of my system by then. I felt terrible about it for days. Whenever Kaylynn would come in for work I would hide to avoid her. On the occasions that she found me, she would still be up to her flirty tricks."
"What about mom?" I demanded to know.
"Your mother and I haven't been very happy with each other for a while. We love each other, but we barely speak anymore. Ever since she went into politics it's been this way. I had been suggesting separate bedrooms for at least two years but your mother was insistent on you girls having your own rooms."
"So, you're blaming this whole thing on mom?" Angela asked.
"Oh, oh no," Dad corrected. "I'm just pointing out that we had problems. I was a large part of the problem, too. I never realized what I had. I was too busy harboring anger toward your mother instead of just asking what she needed. It's my fault, too. Back to the story, then. Kaylynn and I hooked up a few more times over the months and each time I felt less and less guilty, until the most recent time when your mother caught us kissing when she came home early."
"The night she kicked you out for four months." Angela remembered.
"I stayed in filthy motels for those months. Four long months. I didn't live with Kaylynn. I cut off all contact with her. Then your mother let me come back and then Kaylynn started sending messages through people at my high school that she needed to speak to me. Since she had worked for our family people thought nothing of it. I just figured she wanted her last paycheck since we forgot about that when she was fired."
"But that's not what she wanted, was it?" I chimed in.
"I wish it had been. That would have been easier to deal with. She called me on her cell phone and asked me to come to her apartment. I refused because nothing good ever came from me entering that woman's apartment. She finally settled on us meeting in a coffee shop. This time she was fully dressed and she didn't look too happy.
Her first words to me were:
"I think I'm late." I didn't understand her so asked her what she was late for since we hadn't planned to meet at a specific time. Then she said,
"No, I mean late late."
"You mean…expecting something?" We used code just in case anyone we knew was in the shop.
"Yea, this hasn't ever happened before. I'm always on time."
"Are you late enough to…get into trouble?"
"I think so."
"How late are you? A little late or really late?"
"Twelve days." she muttered in a quiet voice.
"That's definitely more than a little late."
"Haven't you been…setting your alarm clock every morning?" I asked in a panic.
"Well, almost every day. A few times I may have forgotten or maybe it just didn't go off for a whatever reason. It isn't magic." I knew she was angry so I had to be delicate with my next question.
"Did you ask her if it was yours?" I asked bluntly.
"I did and it was very difficult to say the least." Dad answered.
"Do you think I would have anything to do with you being late? Or could you attribute your tardiness to someone else?" I asked in the most polite way I could, but there was no getting around what I was really asking.
"Of course it's yours-I mean you're the reason I'm late. I haven't been spending time with anyone else in months." I could tell she was angry.
"Please don't get upset. I was just asking. Look, maybe we should go and get this confirmed before making conclusions. Fair enough?"
She mumbled, 'sure' and then I waited for her outside of a drugstore while she bought a test. I was just as agonized as she was when she came back outside after taking the test, telling and showing me that two pink lines mean 'pregnant'.
"I was floored. I was so shocked a threw up twice. I didn't want to believe it but it was confirmed even more accurately with a trip to the doctor and an ultrasound." Dad put his head down on the table for a while. Angela and I sat and waited patiently.
"Then she started talking child support and daycare and it freaked me out. I knew I would have to tell your mother as soon as possible. Kaylynn was already 13 weeks and I knew she would be devious enough to tell on me if I didn't tell on myself first. I told your mother last week and things went better than I thought they would. I was expecting to be kicked out, cursed out, and worse by your mother but she truly showed me the understanding woman she can be.
She is letting me stay here until I can find a place and she says I can come see you girls whenever I want. If only I had realized what I had when I had it."
Angela and I didn't know what to say or do at that point but I knew what we were both thinking: How are we going to deal with this? How are we going to manage a little half sister or brother? And what would other people think of it?