Chapter Forty Four – (Family)
BPOV
A comfortable silence falls over us as we pull out of Charlie's driveway and make our way over to Edward's house. My mind is racing a million miles an hour, a thousand different thoughts and conflicted feelings running through me.
I can't believe Renee knew I lost my virginity. How does anyone even know that about someone? She started going on about how I had a different glow around me. Renee is really into all that spiritual stuff. She believes that every person has a different coloured aura around them and it changes colours according to their emotions. She also always claimed that she was able to see set auras.
I get that she's my mother, but she hasn't been a part of my life for five years. She said that just because she hasn't been with me doesn't mean she wouldn't notice that sort of thing about her daughter which caused that hidden anger to rise up inside of me and I snapped at her for leaving again. I never knew how to put the feelings I felt towards my mother into words, but everything just suddenly clicked into place. The reason she gave for leaving is weak and a load of shit. Fair enough she didn't want me to be scared and see her deteriorate, but she still shouldn't have made that decision for me, or Charlie.
Then, to make things even more dramatic, Charlie decided to take that moment to be annoying and try to be a father, insisting he be told what Renee was talking about. This just caused me to lash out at him, because he has no right to act like that after the way he treated me for the last five years. He claims he still cares about me and sometimes the look in his eyes makes me believe him; but too many things have happened between us for me to be able to just forgive him and accept him back into my life.
Charlie became a drunk and shut his emotions down, abandoning me in the process. He said and did some really horrible things to me, one of those things being that he constantly told me it was my fault that Renee left us. He did it so frequently that I eventually believed it, causing me to feel like a screw up and a worthless human being who is never going to be wanted by anyone. He told me countless times that he hated me. He tormented me mentally and eventually, physically abused me.
I developed all of my insecurities because of him, which caused me to end up hurting people who are really important to me and almost ruined my life. The only good thing that came out of the problems I developed was they drove me away from Forks and lead me to Tanya. Everything happens for a reason, so maybe all the things that happened to me and everyone around me were meant to happen to us to make us the people we are right now.
And just like Edward needed time to forgive me, I need time to forgive Renee and Charlie.
Anyway, I guess losing your virginity creates its own special, little aura… That wasn't awkward at all.
"Are you okay?" Edward asks, concerned, placing his hand on my thigh. I place my hand over his, entwining our fingers together.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Just thinking."
"About what happened back at Charlie's?" he asks attentively.
"Yeah," I murmur, quietly.
"It'll get better, babe." He says encouragingly.
"I know, it's just hard." I reply, sighing heavily.
"It'll get easier. You just have to fight through it. What Charlie did to you was beyond horrible, but you just have to remember the circumstances that created the whole thing."
"What do you mean?" I ask, confused.
"Well, he was ill. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally. I know it's a shit excuse for the way he treated you, but it's the truth." He responds, shrugging his shoulders.
"I never thought of it that way," I murmur, glancing at him. He smiles softly, bringing our entwined hands up to his lips and placing a soft his on the palm of my hand.
"He needs help, and when he gets it, you'll see the father you once knew slowly begin to return."
"I hope so," I say softly, sighing heavily. "We used to be so close."
"You'll get that back one day." He assures.
"Things will never be the same, though." I say sadly. Edward removes his hand from mine and wipes a tear away with his thumb.
I didn't even know I was beginning to cry.
"I hate seeing you in so much pain," he says softly, entwining his hand with mine again.
"Thank you for being so amazing." I whisper, squeezing his hand lightly and looking over at him. "I love you," I add, smiling softly.
"I love you too, beautiful," He says, returning the gesture.
I link my arm through Edward's; hugging it tightly as I lean against him and rest my head on his shoulder. I feel his lips press against the top of my head when I close my eyes, the corners of my lips turning up into a smile at the small gesture.
Jess is cuddling up next to Tanya on one of the arm chairs, Alice and Jasper are sitting next to each other on the couch, Emmett is sitting on the love seat that is situated near the window with Rosalie sitting in between his legs, leaning back against his chest and Carlisle is sitting in the other arm chair closest to the TV.
When we walk into the living room, everyone's heads snap up and turn in our direction. Alice, Tanya and Rose are beaming at me, while Jasper is smirking and Emmett hooting like a beast, throwing his fist up into the air. Rosalie rolls her eyes, elbows him in the chest and whispers something into his ear, causing him to go silent, his eyes looking like they're about to pop out of his head.
When I glance over at Jess, her expression is filled with confusion to everyone's reaction. It dawns on me that she was the only one that didn't know about Edward's plans. The blush automatically rushes into my cheeks as I think of that night. Tanya sits up and whispers something in Jessica's ear, causing her eyes to go wide with shock before a grin crosses her face. I roll my eyes at her, entwining my hand with Edward's and leading us over to the couch. Edward sits down on the floor, his back against the couch. He pulls me down in front of him and wraps his arms around my waist, pulling my back flush against his chest and kissing me softly on the neck.
"So, how was your night, guys?" Emmett questions, waggling his eyebrows at us. I narrow my eyes at him and Edward flips him the bird.
"God, do you even have a filter to your brain?" Rose asks exasperatedly, swatting him on the arm.
"I think he just chooses not to use it," Alice says seriously, picking up a pillow and throwing it across the room at him. He catches it and smirks at her, causing her to narrow her eyes.
"Everyone should know by now that Emmett is a shit stirrer and isn't afraid to speak his mind," Jasper jokes.
"Yeah, I sure learnt that pretty fast." Jessica says through a laugh.
"What? Oh, my god. Emmett, tell me you haven't been harassing her about her sexuality! You are so rude sometimes!" Rose scolds him, this time punching him in the bicep.
"Owe! Rosie, will you stop?" Emmett complains. "It's all just a bit of fun, jeez!" he adds, rubbing the spot where Rose hit him.
"It's alright, honestly." Jess assures. "I need to get used to that kind of stuff once everyone finds out at school. And it's not like he was doing it maliciously," she adds dejectedly.
"I'll have your back," Alice says cheerfully.
"Me too," I agree.
"And I'll just come back and fuck anyone up if they mess with you," Rose says seriously. "Especially now that you're part of our gang and not associating with that trashy bitch anymore," she adds, disgust clear in her voice.
"I'm sorry; I know she's a chick, but she made me want to put her head through a wall for treating my girl and my sisters the way she did," Edward says seriously, shocking everyone in the room.
"Edward, that's no way to speak about a lady," Carlisle says.
"Well, lucky for him, Lauren isn't a lady. Rose quips, causing everyone in the room to laugh.
"Rosalie Lillian Hale," Carlisle addresses her sternly.
"What?" she says innocently, smiling sweetly. Carlisle lets out a heavy sigh before rolling his eyes.
"She certainly doesn't sound like a very nice person." Tanya says through a light laugh.
"You know about her?" Jessica asks hesitantly.
"Yeah, Bella told me everything in California." Tanya replies.
"Oh, god," Jessica groans shamefully.
"Hey, it's okay. I still love you," Tanya assures her cheekily.
"Thanks," Jess replies, laughing lightly. "I love you, too,"
"I can't believe Renee is back. How are you holding up, Bella?" Alice asks.
"Yeah, I'm alright," I reply, the corners of my mouth turning up into a smile.
"The three of us really need to have a day together," Jess says.
"Yeah, one day…" I respond cautiously, smiling kindly at her.
"Are you okay?" she asks, concerned.
"I'm still trying to sort my feelings out. A lot of work needs to be done to repair mine and Renee's relationship. And I'm still trying to get my head around the fact that she's really back," I say.
"I missed her so much." Jess says wretchedly.
"I missed her too, Jess." I reply, smiling sadly at her. "We can hang out like old times soon. Maybe it'll even be easier with you there."
"Sounds good." She responds, smiling kindly.
"Okay, it's girl time!" Alice exclaims, jumping off the couch.
"What?" I ask, confused.
"We girls are going upstairs to spend some time together."
"Do we have to?" I groan.
"Yes." she says pointedly, looking at me expectantly before glancing at Edward, and then back to me.
Oh, good lord. Please don't tell me she wants to talk about last night.
"No way, Alice, that is not happening."
"I don't know what you're talking about." She says innocently, grabbing me by the arm and pulling me to my feet.
I latch on to Edward's arm and turn my head towards him, my eyes widening with fear.
"Please, save me," I tell him.
"Alice, don't be so annoying," Edward says, pulling on my other arm.
"Edward, if you value your life, you'll let her go,"
"It's got nothing to do with you," he replies seriously.
"Come on, Bella, you're my best friend! Don't deprive me of this." She whines, turning to face me. She pouts her and puts her puppy dog eyes on full force.
"It's none of your business, Alice!" Edward exclaims.
"Dear lord, everyone just shut up with the domestics," Rose says. "Bella, just give up, babe. You know how Alice is," she adds, walking over to us and removing Alice from my arm and extending her hand out to me.
"Fine," I mumble, sighing heavily. I turn around and kiss Edward lightly on the lips, before taking Rosalie's hand in mine. She pulls me to my feet and smiles appologetically at me.
"Let's get this show on the road." Tanya says, smirking.
"Why do you even care? All of you pretty much knew about it before me and helped him!" I complain, folding my arms across my chest.
"I didn't know anything," Jess says, holding her palms up in a surrendering position.
"Ugh, whatever, let's just get this over with." I mumble.
In the corner of my eye, i can see each and every one of them pursing their lips to stop themselves from laughing. I roll my eyes before walking away from them and heading towards the staircase.
"I don't know what the big deal is, Bella," says Alice.
We're in her room and I'm sitting Indian style on her bed while Tanya and Jess sit on the love seat, Rose sits on the computer chair and Alice sits beside me on her bed.
"I just don't like talking about this stuff," I murmur uncomfortably.
"It's not like we want to know specific details," she replies, rolling her eyes.
"Dear god no," Jess says, screwing up her nose in disgust.
"Oh, don't be such a prude. Just because you don't like the cock," Rose teases, smirking.
"You are so disgusting." Tanya retorts, throwing a pillow at Rose.
"We just want to know how everything went, what you thought, your reaction, etcetera." Alice says, continuing the conversation.
"I was… shocked, in awe, ecstatic," I say quietly. "And, I don't know? Everything was just perfect; he went to so much trouble."
"He wanted it to be special for you," Alice says.
"Well, he succeeded." I reply, smiling softly.
"Did he like your little present?" Tanya asks mischievously.
"What present?" Jess asks.
"She bought some sexy lingerie." Tanya replies.
"Only because you made me, you sly bitch."
"Well, did he like it?" she probes, grinning.
"He loved it," I reply softly, my cheeks flushing.
"Didn't stay on for long, did it?" she teases.
"You're as bad as Emmett," I murmur, narrowing my eyes at her.
"You love me." She says, grinning brightly.
"So, were you okay?" Jess asks quietly.
"What do you mean?" I ask, confused.
"You know, when you…" says Alice.
"Oh. Yeah, he was… very gentle."
"Not too gentle, I hope." Rose quips, smiling evilly.
"Oh, god," I groan, throwing my head into my hands.
"Rose, don't be mean." Alice says as she laughs lightly.
"You guys suck," I mumble into my hands.
"But seriously, I think I speak for all of us when I say we're glad it was a good experience for you," Alice says sincerely.
"Lord knows, you've been throwing yourself at him for ages." Rose teases.
"You are the devil's spawn, I swear," I retort, laughing lightly.
"Hey, I'm only speaking the truth," she says, grinning at me.
"Are we done? Can we go back down now?"
"God, didn't you get enough of Edward last night?" Jess jokes, shocking everyone.
"Jess!" I exclaim, shaking my head in amusement as a smile ghosts across my lips.
It's in the late evening when the girls and I all head back downstairs. Emmett and Jasper are playing Call of Duty while Edward watches. I walk over to the couch and cuddle up next to Edward, His arms wrapping around me as he kisses me on the forehead. Tanya and Jessica resume their former positions on the arm chair; Alice sits beside Jasper while Rosalie goes and sits between Emmett's legs, taking the controller out of his hand.
"Baby!" he exclaims, looking at her with wide eyes.
"What?" she asks innocently. "You're getting your ass kicked."
She furrows her brow in concentration, her tongue flicking out and resting on her top lip as she presses all the buttons on the controller furiously. When I glance at the TV Jasper lets out a groan as his character falls to his knees and his screen goes red.
"Incredible," Emmett murmurs in awe. He moves Rosalie's hair to the side and kisses her on the back of the neck.
"How are you even that good at it?" Jasper whines.
"I play it when I get bored," she says nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders. "You wanna go round two?"
"You're on." He says determinedly.
"No way, I want to verse my girl!" says Emmett, reaching across and taking the controller out of Jasper's hands.
"Hey, give it back!" Jasper cries.
"Jazz, calm down," says Alice.
"Yeah, do what your woman says," Emmett retorts.
"Shut up, Emmett." Alice scolds.
"Don't be a dick, give it back," Jasper complains.
"No, you just played her."
"Not for the whole game!"
"So? It's my turn." Emmett says mischievously.
"Christ, you two are such girls," Rose ridicules, rolling her eyes.
"Screw you, Rosalie," Jasper says angrily.
"No thanks, I'm not into incest." She retorts.
"That is so wrong, Rose," says Alice, screwing up her nose in disgust.
"Whatevs," Rose replies, laughing lightly.
"Come on, Jazz, we can play cards." Alice says soothingly before standing.
"Jeez, that sounds like great fun." Emmett mocks.
"Emmett, if you don't shut the fuck up, I'll do it for you." Alice says icily, shocking everyone with her outburst.
"Easy there, tiger," Emmett murmurs. Rosalie reaches over and punches him in the arm.
"Ow!" he cries.
"Come on, Ali," says Jasper, sighing heavily before standing and entwining his hand with hers, leading her out of the room.
"You can be such an ass sometimes," says Rose.
"What?" Emmett asks incredulously. "You were the one tormenting him,"
"You're all a bunch of babies, anyway. Fucking hell," Edward says, rolling his eyes.
"Whatever, Edwardo," Rose says before turning around and setting up the next game for her and Emmett.
"So, how was your 'girl talk'?" Edward asks quietly, making quotation marks with his hands.
"It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. They just wanted to know what my reaction was to everything,"
"To the romance or the sex?" he asks, smirking.
"All of it." I murmur, my cheeks flushing furiously.
"And?" he probes.
"It was all very touching and amazing," I reply, glancing up at him. "You already know, you were there."
"I'm glad I pleased you." He replies, laughing lightly.
"Oh, you certainly did." I say, teasingly.
"Bella, are you being naughty?" he questions, mocking shock.
"I'll be naughty if you want me to be," I reply sultrily, winking at him.
"Do I need to take you up to my room?" he asks huskily.
"I don't know, do you?" I tease.
Edward's lips are on mine within the next second, kissing me passionately as he twines his hands into my hair. I run my hand up his chest and around his neck. He shifts his body so he's facing me, pushing me down on the lounge with his body.
"Christ, are you two right there?" Tanya asks incredulously.
I turn my head to the side to meet her gaze. I grin at her before looking back at Edward. He smirks before sitting back and pulling me up by my arms.
"What on earth brought that on?" Tanya asks.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Edward teases.
"No, actually," she replies, shaking her head and rolling her eyes.
"Gross." Jess murmurs, her shoulders shuddering.
"What's gross?" Alice asks cheerfully as she walks into the room, Jasper by her side.
"Bella and Edward were just being disgusting on the couch," Says Tanya.
"Replaying last night's events, were you?" Jasper teases, causing me to blush.
"We were just mucking around," I murmur.
"While sucking face and groping each other," Jess says.
"Oh well, you're a part of our family now, better get used to it." Jasper says, laughing lightly.
"Baby, you're so cute!" Alice coos.
"Really, Jazz?" Rose asks sarcastically.
"So insightful, man," Edward teases.
"Shut up, asshole," Jasper retorts.
"Mind your language, boys," Esme scolds as she walks into the room.
"Sorry, Mom," Jasper and Edward mumble simultaneously.
"So, is everyone staying for dinner tonight? We can have a big official family dinner?" Esme asks cheerfully. "Oh, maybe we could invite Charlie and Renee too?" she adds, glancing over at me.
"Oh. Um, that's really nice of you Esme, but Charlie is kind of still recovering from the shock that mom's back and working on his other issues. I think they just need to be alone to sort everything out." I reply regretfully.
"Oh, that's understandable. How silly of me," Esme scolds herself.
"I'll help you cook, though." I say, standing up and walking over to her.
"Me too!" Jess agrees enthusiastically.
I glance over my shoulder and smile brightly at her as she jumps up off the couch and makes her way toward us. I extend my hand behind my back towards her. She takes my hand in hers and links her arm through mine, the smile on her face just a bright as mine.
After we have dinner, everyone relocates to the lounge room again. I sit beside Edward on the couch, his arm wrapped around me. He plays with my hair and kisses me softly on the cheek.
Rosalie and Tanya are playing Call of Duty, Jessica and Alice are browsing through fashion magazines, Jasper and Emmett are playing a game of chess and Esme is cuddled up in Carlisle's lap reading a book while he strokes his fingers up and down her arm, flippantly watching the girls play the video game.
I can't stop the smile that forms on my lips. Everything is falling into place. My mom is back, I know why she left now and we're sorting out our issues. I'm working on my relationship with Charlie. He's getting counselling and working on his drinking problem. I know it's going to be hard to get back on track with him and things won't be back to normal straight away. But I don't think my relationship with him will ever be the same with him, again; at least I can patch it up enough so there's no hostility between us.
But nothing can change the fact that these guys have become my family now. They were there for me when no one else was. They made that hope spark up inside of me and made me feel like I was worth being apart of their lives. They showed me what real love and friendship is.
"I'm so glad you guys are apart of my family," I whisper to Edward, tilting my head to look at him.
"Do you have any idea how great it feels to hear you say that? I feel like I'm on cloud nine," he replies, cupping my face in his hands.
"Well, you are my family now, mom being back doesn't change anything; but can I ask you something?"
"Anything,"
"Why do you love me?" I ask nervously.
"I love you because you're the most beautiful girl; inside and out, that I have ever met in my life. I love you because every time you smile it's the most amazing thing I've ever seen. I love you because every time I hear you laugh, it brings a smile to my face. I love you because every time you fall over or hurt yourself, you cuss like a sailor." He laughs lightly, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "I love you because every time you blush, it makes you look radiant. I love you because you always put me in my place when I'm being an asshole. I love you because you make me a better person." He smiles affectionately at me before entwining his hands with mine. "I love you because you're the answer to my questions. You're every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, every day we're together is the greatest day of my life. I'll always be yours."
"And you'll always be mine." I reply softly, my voice breaking with emotion. Edward cups my face in his hands and wipes my tears away with his thumbs.
"I hope you know I'm not going anywhere, ever again. You can't get rid of me now," I whisper, grinning at him.
"I'd never dream of it. I plan on making you my wife and creating our own little family together one day," he says affectionately.
"I look forward to it." I whisper, closing my eyes as he leans forward and places his lips softly against mine.
And in that moment, all of my fears and insecurities of never being enough for Edward, finally come undone and drift away.
So here it is... the last chapter of Coming Undone! *sobs* I can't believe it's really finished. I've had it complete for a while, but actually posting it makes it real. I'm so sorry about the extremely, long delay of this chapter! My Beta and I have had so many problems with trying to get it through Hotmail! But it's finally here! So, YAY! :D
I hope you all enjoy it, and I really, really hope it was all worth the wait!
Thank you all for your continuous support. I've met so many lovely, kind-hearted people who have read this story and every single nice thing you've all said to me is beyond appreciated. I have no words to express how grateful I am for all of you being so positive and encouraging. So once again, thank you so, so much! I love you all!
- Nat x
p.s. yes, there will be an Epilogue ;)