Author's Note: Sorry it has taken so long. Real Life has been getting in the way. I hope the next chapter doesn't take so long. I also want to thank all those who have left feedback. It really, really helps the muse, and is much appreciated. Pagan

Chapter Eleven Summary – Lantash and Sam make up their quarrel and Daniel tells Sam how he feels about the ring—as well as his true feelings about Martouf. Lantash's knowledge and competence with "internet shopping" is shown to be extensive.

Pairing: - Sam/Lantash/Daniel

"Italics" – Symbiote-Host communication

Always be Ours

Chapter Eleven

Reconciliations

"Samantha, I am sorry. I should not have said those things to you. I can barely believe I said them, and I have absolutely no excuse. I truly do ask you to forgive me."

Sam shook her head. "It's as much my fault as yours, Lantash. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I'm sorry for not waiting to see if you were going to ask me yourself. I don't know what's the matter with me, but maybe we are both more stressed than we realize, and it is causing both of us to act in unusually, irresponsible ways."

"I do wish to bond with you. Daniel and I both wish it. I also wish to marry you; if, that is, it is something that you could find it in your heart to do. Samantha, you know that I love you more than life itself. Your love is my most precious possession. Please, say that you will bond with us."

Sam smiled at him. "I think I'd like that. That way you are both excess luggage at each other's ceremonies."

"Samantha."

"I'm just teasing, okay? You know you could never be that to me. You will always be my beloved Lantash. Always. You should not have doubted that anymore than I should have doubted that you wanted me for a mate. Both of us were being extremely silly and stupid. It's probably my hormones causing us to be irrational or something, but whatever it is, we'll guard against it now that we know what it can do to us."

Lantash sighed and held her, "Yes, my beloved Samantha. You will always be loved and be my beloved, this I promise you." He stroked her gently before finally managing to tell her, "I am sorry I did not explain the reasons behind the things I have been doing for us. I have only been trying to save both of us even more grief than we will already feel. We will feel so much emotional pain at the separation, Samantha, and it will bring back much of the pain of our parting from Martouf. I will see to it that there is someone there to help you the day we do the transfer. Whoever it is, they will give you comfort, warmth, acceptance, and support, this I also promise you. I will not leave you to face our parting alone."

Lantash paused before continuing, his voice husky and subdued, "Because of the physical and emotional trauma, Daniel and I may remain unconscious for a very long time. It can take up to a day, possibly more, for us to come to terms with our new reality and attempt to come to terms with my pain, pain that will become our pain. You must understand that Daniel will feel my pain at losing Martouf as well as yours, and then, also, your pain at parting from me and mine from you. He will also feel Martouf's pain as he—left us."

"It will be a difficult transition. You, too, will be dealing with it all over again; however, this time you will be doing so without me, and you will be adding my pain at our separation and your own. It will be very emotionally painful, and there is nothing we can do to lessen it. I have simply been attempting to make the parting less unpleasant than it will be."

"I should have told you, explained to you what I was doing and why. It was irresponsible of me not to have done so, sooner. I am sorry. I should have talked to you about all of this long before now. Blame my wish to save you all the pain that I can, for I believe that is why I am keeping these things away from you. In the end, it is worse for you, as you cannot comprehend my actions. I will not do this to you again. That I can assure you."

"I understand, Lantash." She paused before adding, "Perhaps, in the future, if there is a question of importance to be asked, you should both try to be awake and aware of what is going on. I think that if you had not been dormant, I would have known by your emotions how excited you were at the prospect of marrying and bonding with me."

"You are very correct, my love. I should have stayed awake. I have been trying to stay dormant when we are out among people, but I must simply control myself instead of becoming completely disassociated from the events."

"As for the misunderstandings this evening, I realize, now, that I should have told you what I was doing and why, my Samantha; I will remember to do so in the future."

"That's all I can ask, Lantash." Sam paused again, as a new thought entered her mind. It was a thought that troubled her because it pointed out her own culpability in what had occurred during the evening.

She drew a deep breath, almost holding it in her nervousness, as she said, "Lantash, I've just realized something, and you should have called me on it, at once. I cannot but believe you have been thinking it, but not saying it to me. You should have."

She hurried to complete what she had to say before he could interrupt her, "This situation and its repercussion is as much my responsibility as it is yours and Daniel's. It's my responsibility to ask you why, to demand explanations when something happens and I don't understand, or I get some screwy idea in my head that won't leave. No matter how logical it seems to me, I should make you tell me your reasons."

"If I had insisted that there should be another question asked of me this evening, none of this would have occurred. It isn't all you and Daniel. I'm part of our family, too, and I have to take some of the responsibility that goes along with that.

"I think, I think part of the problem is that I'm afraid that by asking the questions, I'm putting you into a position of having to lie to me because you don't want to hurt or upset me. I have to believe in you and your honesty with me. If I know that you will not lie to me, then I can safely ask when I don't know the answer to why you are doing things. And, you have to stop being so afraid of giving me pain. We all get hurt, and we all have to learn to live with it. I would rather know that you won't lie to me no matter what my response might be. If you can assure me of that, then I can ask you the questions."

"I will promise never to lie to you. However, I, too, must begin to make myself explain things without you having to ask me. I love you too much not to work on overcoming these obstacles, Samantha. Perhaps, if we both work on this together, we can solve this and no longer have these misunderstandings occurring. Yes?"

"Yes, Lantash. I can agree with you. We will help each other, and you and Daniel, once you are together, will have one another to watch for you."

"Then you will forgive me for my lapse, my love?"

"Yes, if you will forgive me my transgression, too."

"Always, beloved. Now, you must talk to Daniel for he is very upset over this, as well. I believe that our argument has hurt him as much as it has us. He does not wish to see you hurting anymore, my love. He already feels our pain with us. There is no excuse for us adding more to what he is already bearing."

"You're right, Lantash. Daniel is very sensitive to other people's emotions. We have to take care of him, you know. He's a very special person, and I don't want to see him hurting because of something I've done or because of us."

Lantash smiled at her. "I must agree, Samantha. Daniel is a very special man. You have chosen our mate well for us, beloved."

"You had something to do with it, too. I'm very grateful to you for forcing me to see what he really meant to me. Thank you for that."

"You are most welcome. However, he is looking ever more anxious, my heart. Go to him now."

Sam nodded to Lantash and looked up and into Daniel's eyes. As soon as he realized that her attention was no longer on her internal conversation, he asked, "Sam? Are you—all right?"

"Yes, Daniel." She answered him truthfully and swiftly. "I'm fine and so is Lantash."

"Have you and Lantash worked everything out, then? Is it all right now?"

Sam blushed and then nodded. "Yes, we've agreed that I have to question the two of you, if I don't understand, and Lantash has promised that he will never lie to me. It's hard for either of us to lie to one another now, and it takes a lot of mental willpower to keep the truth from the other one. Once we are separated, that will no longer be true, but I trust his word to me."

Daniel nodded, accepting her answer. Then he asked, almost hesitantly, "Will you—will you listen now, if I tell you about the ring that Lantash and I want to give you to replace this temporary one?"

She paused to clear her throat and then said, in a very subdued tone of voice, "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you earlier, Daniel. I just couldn't; I was too upset."

Daniel agreed his voice soft and gentle, "I understand, Sam. You have no reason to apologize to me. It's all right. You had a right to want answers to those questions. I think that both Lantash and I probably know that now. You are not a mind reader, even though Lantash is in your mind. He is doing his best to keep his pain from you and in doing so, he is keeping other things from you that he shouldn't be. I really don't think it will happen again, well, anytime soon anyway. I hope it never happens again, and if it does, I'm already sorry for it."

"As for you being upset, I realize that now, too. Have you and Lantash managed to talk through the problem?"

"Yes, I think so. We won't keep having the problems as long as we can both remember to do our parts. And I think we will."

"I know. I'll try to curb his propensity for not doing that, ah, and my own as well."

"Thank you." Sam paused as she looked into his eyes trying to read his emotions. "Daniel, I know," she cleared her throat become continuing, "I know that this is hard on you. It has to be. How are you standing this? How are you accepting it so well? Or are you really? Are you—are you—keeping things from me as well? Things about your feelings that I need to know? Things that I should know?"

"Please, Daniel. Please, don't shut me out, too. I need to share your feelings with you. I need—I need—to know," her voice dropped to a whisper as she realized that there could very well be things that Daniel was keeping from her. Hiding from her, so that she wouldn't know that they hurt him. It scared her to realize how unquestioningly she had accepted his love and care of her without returning that caring herself. Well, that would stop now. If he was having difficulty with this, then she, they, needed to know about it.

Daniel closed his eyes, swallowing hard. How could he explain his emotions to her? How could she possibly understand how deep his love of her went? He let out the breath he was holding and reaching over, he took her hand in his.

"Sam. Sam, I really don't think I've hidden anything from you. I know that probably sounds bogus, but it isn't. I love you deeply. It is a constant, abiding feeling that never changes for me. I think what you are really asking me is if I feel as if I'm—I don't know how to say it for sure—second best? Yes, second best. I think what you are really afraid of is that I feel like you are only taking me on the rebound, or that I don't measure up in some way to Martouf and Lantash."

He paused again, frowning deeply, his forehead creased as he thought about what he had just said. Did he feel that way? Was he afraid that Sam didn't love him as much as she loved Lantash and Martouf? God, was he hiding emotions even from himself? Letting go of Sam's hand he laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling, searching, delving, digging into his heart. Was he only second-best with Sam? Did it even matter if he was?

Soul-searching was something he was familiar with, and he wasn't afraid of what he might find. He'd faced hard questions before, and he would again. This one was one of the hardest he had ever been faced with, though. Did he feel that Sam didn't love him as much as she loved them? Could he really live with it if it was true? Was it true? Closing his eyes again, he replayed the many times he had held her in his arms and loved her; the many times in the past week that he had held her as she cried for Martouf.

Thinking of those times, he remembered the times that Sam had held and comforted him after Sha'uri had died, and she had not even had the assurance of his love of her to help her as she soothed and loved him. Because she had loved him. They had never admitted it between them, but it had been there, her love of him, during his mourning for Sha'uri. It had been in her touch, in her voice, in her arms and her gentle caresses. Oh, yes, Sam had done everything but told him then, that she loved him, whether she realized it or not.

And, she loved him now. Just as deeply and abidingly as she loved Martouf and Lantash. It was in her eyes, in her touch, and in her voice. It was in her body as she made love to him. Was he second-best? He shook his head. No. No, he didn't believe that he was. She loved him as much as she loved them and as he loved her. He rolled onto his side and came up on his elbow, looking into her anxious, frightened eyes.

Picking up her hand once again, he smiled one of his sweetest smiles at her. His voice soft, and sincere, he told her, "Sam, every time you look into my eyes, I see your love for me. Every time you kiss me, every time you caress me, every time—every time you make love to me—I feel your love so deeply within my heart and soul that I've never, until you just now asked, even questioned it. So the answer to your question is no. I am not hiding anything from you, Sam. I love you. I know, in my heart and in my soul, that you love me. Deeply, abidingly, in a forever kind of way."

"How can I be hurt by your love of Lantash and Martouf? You love them the same way you love me. I see it, I feel it, I hear it in your voice. When you cry for Martouf, you are crying for Lantash and for me, as well. If I was the one that was gone, you would be in the same agony over me that you are over Martouf. I can't—I can't begrudge him what would also be mine."

"No, Sam. I'm not hiding some deep insecurity or pain over this. You have no idea how much I love you. And, you have no idea how much love comes through to me from you in so many different ways. Never will I ever feel unloved by you, or second-best. I'm not and I know I'm not. And, if I ever feel the least little bit worried about your feelings for me—for us, once I have Lantash—then I promise I will face you with my questions. Is that what you needed to know?"

The look of relief that flooded her face answered his question, but she also answered him, "Yes, Daniel. That is what I needed to know. I'm so glad you can tell, that you know that you have your own special and equal place in my heart. Thank you for telling me."

Daniel leaned over and kissed her, but broke it as it began to turn to passion, before leaning back and smiling slightly. "I'm ready now to tell you about the ring and how much you taking it means to us if you are ready now to listen, Sam. And, please, believe the things I am saying because they are the way I feel about this, really and truly. All right?"

Sam's smile was tremulous, and her eyes told him all he needed to know about her emotions. She nodded before leaning over kissing him as he had her a moment before. "Yes. Yes, it is very all right, now, Daniel mine."

Taking a breath, and forcing his thoughts away from where that somewhat more passionate kiss had taken them, he cleared his throat, saying, "If you kiss me like that again, we won't get this discussion over until much, much later, Sam of my Heart. Now, be a good girl, stop distracting me, and listen to what I have to say."

Sam smirked at him before settling back against the pillows and nodding her readiness to hear what he had to say.

"The reason the ring I gave you tonight is temporary has to do with Martouf. It seems that he had a stone he really liked a lot, and he always intended to give it to the woman he fell in love with. Lantash was almost overcome when he realized what your favorite stone was Sam because the stone that Martouf wanted to save for the woman he loved is a Marquis cut blue diamond. Lantash tells me it is very beautiful. Jolinar and Rosha didn't care for the cut of it, or the stone itself, so they refused it when they bonded."

"So, Lantash said that Martouf put it back when they didn't want it, and he planned to have something made for, well actually, for Lantash and himself, but he never did. Lantash feels that the reason he never managed to get around to having something made for the two of them was because it will now go to the woman he truly loved above all others."

"I can't imagine her not accepting it, Daniel. I mean, it was from the men she loved. The men who loved her. I would have taken it regardless because it was given with that love. My reason for refusing it before were misunderstandings. Had that not happened I would have been very happy to accept it from you."

"I know, Sam. I really don't know why she didn't take it, either. All Lantash said was that she didn't like the stone or the cut."

Lantash came forward, saying calmly. "She was given a choice of stones from which to choose. She never knew what it meant to Martouf. She simply rejected it in favor of her favorite stone. I believe you call them Opals. We do have some lovely ones. They set off her skin tones and the blue lights seemed to stand out in them so she made a good choice for herself. And, of course, it was put into a necklace not a ring as is the Tau'ri custom."

"As I have stated before, my personal belief is that Samantha was meant to have it, Daniel. I think fate stepped in and assured that the woman he would love above all others would be given that stone. I assure you, knowing exactly how Martouf felt about Jolinar and Rosha and all the other women he ever knew, Samantha was the greatest, deepest love of his life. She was his heart's evertime mate."

"Lantash and I both agree about what he just said, Sam. I didn't know that she had a choice, but it makes sense if she didn't know."

"We both agree that it would have made him very proud and happy for you to have it. In fact, Lantash believes that he would have asked you to be his mate very soon. I think he would have too, Sam. I really honestly believe that Martouf loved you very deeply and truly."

"However, we've strayed from the original topic which is why this ring is temporary. So, I'll get back to it. We, Lantash and I, wanted you to have a ring now, but it will take awhile to get the other stone and have a setting made for it, so we want you to have this one until the other is ready. Then, we want to take the stones from this one and put them into the bonding necklace we will give to you on the day that the three of us bond."

"There is one other thing about the diamond, Sam. Since it is a part of Martouf, it can be passed on to his son, if he wants it, when the time comes. Either when you are ready for him to have it or on your death."

"Sam, I want you to have a ring with that stone in it. It will be from the three of us. Martouf, Lantash, and I. It will always be a reminder of him. He's always going to be a part of our lives, I promise you. In a way, he brought us together. He gave you to me, Sam. I can't begrudge him this small token of his love for you. When you look at it, you will see the three men in your life that love you before all others."

"We will have him in his son, we will have him in this ring, and because we have all been blended with Lantash, we will have him in a very real way in our memories. Lantash and I both want you to have it, and we know that Martouf would want you to have it. Please. Do this for us, Sam of my heart."

Sam looked at him and he saw her eyes swimming with tears. "Sam, please don't cry. Don't cry, please. Here's a tissue. Come on, Sam. Here, here's some more." Daniel patted her cheeks and eyes.

Finally smiling at him, Sam said quietly, "It's a beautiful idea, a lovely thought, a wonderful way to remember him, and I will love it."

"But, Daniel, I'll also always cherish this one because you picked it out. Whether it is in a ring or a necklace doesn't matter. It was the one you picked out for me, and that will make it special in my eyes forever. You do know that, don't you?"

"Yeah, Sam, I do know that, and it makes me feel very loved. I'm glad you like it, and that it will mean something special to you."

Daniel stroked her gently before saying quietly, "Sam. Sam, I know what Martouf meant to you. I know it in my heart. When Lantash becomes a part of me, I will feel it as it is in your heart. We've talked about it enough that I realize I will know and feel all of Lantash's emotions and that they will become mine. Because you and Lantash were blended, I will also receive all of your emotions. In the same way, I will gain Martouf's emotions."

"Once, once Lantash and I are blended, I will be making love with you and so will Lantash, but Martouf will be making love to you as well, because he is living on in us. You've felt Martouf's love for you through your blending with Lantash. Now, I will feel Martouf's love for you as well. There is no way that any of us, as long as we live, will ever forget or lose that love."

Sam snuggled closer into Daniel's arms, pressing against his chest, needing and wanting to feel him, to know him and his emotions through touch as well as words. She wanted, no, needed, to be closer to him, to feel him wrapped around her. "God, Daniel, you are such an amazing man. The—the part—where you said that Martouf would be loving me every time you loved me. I can't believe how you've accepted all of this so freely. How you've accepted my love for Lantash and Martouf, and their child."

"Now you are offering me even more. Not only have you accepted them, and brought them into our lives, but now you've brought them into our bed and not just allowed it, but encouraged it and embraced their love for me as your own. I don't think I'll ever be able to give you even a quarter of what you've given me, Daniel, and I will thank the fates everyday for the rest of my life for giving you to me to love and to be loved by."

"Everything you've said to me is beautiful, and I will remember it for the rest of my life. I love you, Daniel Jackson, and the more I learn about you, and the more time I spend with you, the more I realize how very, unbelievably fortunate I am to have you as my husband and my mate. To say I love you seems so inadequate when my heart feels so much more than those words can convey."

"Sam, I want to feel that love, his love, just as I want to feel yours and Lantash's. We, the three of us, are truly blending and sharing in his love for you and for Lantash. I think it will be unique and beautiful. I don't ever want to lose him."

"I think that maybe that's why that ring is so important to us. That's why his son is so important to us. Because they are truly a part of him that will always be there to remind us of him and his love for you and for Lantash. Don't ever be afraid to show your love for him. When you express it or show it for him, you will be showing it for us as well."

"I will always love you, Sam, not only for myself, but for Martouf. I want to inherit that love, so that it will never die for you as long as both of us live. I will take it and add it to mine, and it will be a love unlike any I have ever known, or will ever know again."

Daniel dabbed at the tears running down her face and then pulled her closer once more. "It's okay, Sam. The three of us will be okay. I promise you. I know that giving Lantash up will be hard for you to do. I wish I could help more, but I know I can't. What I'm sure of is that once it is finished, we are settled into our house, and waiting for our sons, it will slowly get better and better. Our love for one another will grow, and it will embrace Lantash, our children, and Martouf. Forever." Daniel held her close and soothed her, comforting her, and sharing his love with her.

Sam nodded her head and sighed softly. Soon now, Lantash would be leaving her. She would miss him in many ways, but this time together was something that no one would ever take from her. She would cherish it always. And, Daniel was right. The love they all shared would be unique and special. It would be with them as long as they lived.

She leaned back to look into his face and caught his eyes on her. He smiled at her. The smile she returned to him was tremulous, but it held her love for him in it, and he could see it in her eyes. Things would work out all right. "The three of us have so much to look forward to, Daniel. And, that's the way we will try to continue to look. Forward. Together."

Daniel kissed her gently, "Yes, Sam of my Heart. Forward, together."

He reached up and turned out the light, and then pulled her back into his arms. Feeling her snuggle up to him, he placed a kiss on the top of her head. She would be asleep shortly, he knew. Lantash would see to it if it appeared that she would not be able to sleep on her own. Later, they might awaken and make love, but for right now, they would simply revel in the feelings surrounding them and allow them to make their rest sweet. Yes, there, her breathing was that of someone sleeping. Good, she needed to sleep. "Goodnight, Lantash."

"Goodnight, Daniel. And, Daniel, I thank you for what you said. I believe it comforted her. She seemed more content. Now you should go to sleep as well. I will watch for you."

Daniel agreed, closed his eyes, and joined her. Tomorrow would be another busy day. Thinking of the trip to Gunnison, he smiled. It would be nice shopping for furniture for their babies. Their sons. His last thought as he drifted to sleep with Sam held close was of how good and right it felt with her here in his arms.

The last two weeks seemed to have flown by. Sam looked at the two bassinets. They were a beautiful warm oak. After they drove over and looked at them, they all fell in love with the oak. They had cribs, dressing tables, nightstands, and dressers that matched. They also promised them two rocking chairs within a few weeks.

For now, they had cleaned out the second guest room and set it up as a 'nursery'. Everything but the chairs was finally delivered and set up yesterday. One piece of the set had been in the process of being finished, so it had taken the extra two weeks before they were delivered. The chairs were special order. Lantash had insisted.

The cookout was tomorrow, so Sam wanted to get the 'nursery' in some semblance of order before that. It was hard to believe that the time had flown by so quickly. The first weekend they had spent boxing stuff up at her house and then moving it. Near the end of their first week together, Lantash had told her about Daniel's baby, and a few days later, Daniel had asked her to marry them. She said yes. Now here they were, two weeks later, and she was up to her ears in baby clothes and furniture.

Packages and boxes started arriving the morning before. It seemed that Lantash had indeed learned how to shop online. Sam was in the middle of stacking newborn nightshirts. She swore she had enough for two sets of twins. Thank goodness that her dad had known how to dispose of Martouf's assets and turn it into cash. Sam shook her head.

Daniel had hidden her credit cards. She wondered if this stuff was before or after the fact. If after, then it was Daniel's turn to watch his melt. Thank goodness, Lantash had no need to worry about money. Jacob had also set up an account for him in all of their names, including Lantash's—Daniel's, ah, identical twin brother.

Sam smiled as she remembered the paperwork involved in that, but somehow the government had done it. Not only arranged it, but thanked them for such a tidy way of taking care of the two in one problem.

Daniel and his twin had been separated near birth. Lantash had been stolen and never found, another anguish in young Daniel's life, but now they were back together.

Paul Davis had done everything within his power to shove it all through in record time. Soon, Lantash would have his own plastic, as he took great pleasure in calling it, to melt. And, she grinned to herself, she was fairly sure he would melt it often. Jacob had shown him how to cash in his assets and taught him the ropes of his accounts. He was ready to go now—well, as soon as his own card arrived.

"This is it, Lantash. I'm having Daniel password protect the internet access on the computers. We do not need this many sleepers."

"You may password protect it if you wish, but I shall buy my own computer and internet connection. It makes more sense to only have one. However, I may still get my own computer, as there are times I believe I would prefer to have my own personal space. We could network them together, so that we would still need only the one internet access point." Sam gasped, and then she groaned at his confident reply. Her dad had taught him way too much, and he learned all of it way too fast.

She didn't consider that he might have learned most of it from her very considerable computer knowledge, which, of course, was exactly where he had come by it. There was no doubt the Lantash could do anything that Sam could do with their 'computers' and possibly even more, once he set about delving into them. He felt he could improve on their design considerably, but that was for later.

He really was settling into earth quite well.He was having very little trouble assimilating the culture and the way things worked. He had even begun driving at times. Now that he was Daniel's 'twin', he would soon be able to do anything that any other American citizen could do, and he was enjoying himself immensely as he learned what he needed to know.

He continued his remarks, "As for the sleepers, the next children can use them, if they make it through the two boys in good condition, which I doubt. Although," he murmured thoughtfully, "as I told you before, I have decided that the next time, Daniel shall release only female sperm. There is very pretty clothing for girl children. Had I known, I would have added the third egg and had a little girl with the two boys."

"It's a little late to think of that now. Therefore, we do not need this many sleepers. What are we going to do with them?" Sam blew out an exasperated breath, ruffling her bangs.

"I believe that you will find that very small babies have accidents quite regularly. I found, through surfing, a chat room that talked about infants. They were all agreed that this was the minimum number of sleepers per child unless you wished to do laundry every other day. This will allow you to only have to do laundry every four days instead."

"Really? Wow." Sam looked around her in awe. She'd better have a long chat with Janet and find out why newborn babies needed so many sleepers. She had a feeling she already knew. From what she remembered of one of her friend's kids when they were infants, they had tended to spew from both ends. Repeatedly and sometimes violently. She had a particularly bad memory of one of them sending the contents of the lunch that their mother had just provided them down her back. And, she had also been wet down the front as well. She was doomed.

Her eyes widened. And they were going to have two of them. She hoped Daniel had done diaper detail at some point, because she had little to no hands-on experience. It could be the blind leading the blind. And they were having two of them. For some reason that refrain kept repeating itself in her brain. Shaking it away, she told Lantash, "In that case, maybe it's a good thing to have them."

"Of course it is, just as it is a good idea to have numerous bath blankets, tee-shirts, socks, and bibs. I also gave thought to the fact that we may be spending some time in the tunnels. If so, then I would rather leave the clothing and other essentials there than carry it back and forth all of the time. This way, we can do so and still have enough in each place. I believe that we can take some luggage and pack things that we leave there so that if a base must be abandoned, and they have time, they can simply move our luggage with everything else they move."

"I hadn't thought of that aspect, but you're right, Lantash. It would be more convenient if we didn't have to worry about leaving something behind, or forgetting to take it with us when we visit the tunnels. In that case, we won't have any too many, that's true. I'll take your word for what we will need to have extra, since I have no experience of it myself. Do you have hands-on experience, Lantash? Have you ever, in your very long life, had to take care of an infant or a small child?"

"No, I have not, but the internet is full of information for both the expectant mother and the care of the child after it arrives. I have been reading about it, and I believe that we shall be fine. However, we may have to hire a nanny or two to help out, since there will be our two boys followed almost immediately by the twin girls."

"You will be back to work shortly after they are born, I have no doubt, so nannies, with security clearance I believe, for we will need her in the tunnels as well as here on Earth, will be a must for you or you will become exhausted. There will be no way to care for all four children by yourself, with only Daniel and I. Of course, you will wish to blend as soon as the girls are born, and that will be a very big help to you."

Absent-mindedly nodding her agreement to Lantash's comments, Sam put the tiny undergarment down. All she had done so far was sort things into piles. There were still a couple of boxes of things to go through, but she needed a break. Walking over to the rocking chair they brought from her house, she stood beside it and then, touching it lightly, sent it rocking back and forth.

It would be moved soon, as the matching rockers would be delivered within a few weeks. She couldn't decide exactly where to put it, but she thought it should go downstairs. When they were on this floor, they would have access to the new rockers. If she wanted to rock them while downstairs, then this one would be perfect. Of course, it was also possible that they would be moved into a new house before the babies were born, too.

A large Winnie the Pooh sat in the chair. What would it be like to sit in this rocker and hold a miniature Daniel? How would it feel to hold a small Martouf? Unexpected pain clenched her heart and caused her to catch her breath.

God, would it never go away, this slicing, piercing pain? She could not stop the tears that made their way down her cheeks and she felt Lantash's warm embrace from within her, his soothing voice comforting her. What would she do when she no longer had that to comfort and sustain her? Knowing that pain was lashing out at Lantash as well, she felt her pain deepen even as she attempted to stem it.

She looked back down at the rocker and instead of a harmless stuffed toy, Martouf sat there, one leg over the arm of the chair, the other rocking it gently. He had sat like that one time during their weekend together, with that same pensive, somewhat sad smile on his face.

She had asked what was wrong, and he had replied that there was nothing wrong; he just felt that he should savor every precious second they were together, for one never knew what tomorrow might bring. If anything happened to him, then he would feel that he had the most precious gift in the world given to him before he died, and he had savored it to the fullest, loved each and every minute of it, and would take it with him, a light to guide his way.

And, she was to know that he wished her to go forward, to enjoy her life, and to love deeply, for the more love and joy she allowed to brighten her life and her heart, the brighter his light and his heart would become. He would feel it, and know of her happiness, and her joy would warm his heart as nothing else could, for he did not want her to mourn for him, but to treasure his memory and find joy in it.

She had forgotten that until now. He had smiled then and pulled her to him. They had made love again, and again, and again. She closed her eyes as more of the shafts tore through her. When she opened them and looked back down at the rocker, Winnie the Pooh sat there.

She sank to the floor next to the rocker and cried, but more softly this time, not the breath stealing, heart wrenching sobs that had torn through her when this had happened at her house. No, these tears were streaming quietly down her face as she remembered each look, each touch, each caress, and each word that had passed between them.

This time, she remembered the words of love he had breathed against her skin. She had not imagined them; they had been very, very real and very heartfelt. They came from deep in his heart; she knew that now.

Remembering the words he spoke, while sitting in this chair, she clasped the arm of the rocker where his leg had been and lowered her head to her arms. Lantash held her tightly as he allowed her tears to fall.

"Samantha. His light is very bright by now. You have done exactly as he asked of you. You have moved forward, you are experiencing joy, and you love again. He knows, my beloved. He knows and he is happy for you. For us. Please, believe that, if you believe nothing else, for I believe it with all of my being. He will wait for us, and someday you will be with him again. All three of us will someday be together with him."

She pulled in a shaky breath, and wiped her face and eyes, pulling her composure around her like a cloak, before rising and going into the bathroom to wash with cool water. As she left the bathroom, the doorbell pealed. It was more deliveries. She wondered, as she determinedly forced her mind onto less emotion-laden subjects, what else Lantash thought that without which they could not live.

It was too bad that Daniel had to go into the base today. They would have had this all finished by now if they were both working on it. Instead, she had stacks of sleepers, undershirts, diapers, tiny socks and two tiny little pair of slippers, some educational (yes, educational) toys, blankets, bottles, warmers, sweaters, hats, and bibs. Not to mention sundry miscellaneous other things such as stuffed animals, mobiles, rattles, and books.

Lantash was like a kid in a candy store. A two thousand year old kid, but a kid nonetheless. When it came to the babies though, she wouldn't have him any other way. After all, this was an experience he had never thought to have. They would enjoy it with him. Even though they teased him, they were very happy to see his interest and excitement.

There was no doubt that these children would be loved by him just as much as they were loved by Daniel and her. She sent him a hug as she caressed a tiny nightshirt. He sent her a warm embrace, and it left a glow behind within her heart. As it always did.

"Are you looking forward to the cookout tomorrow, Samantha?"

"Yes, actually, I am. Very much so. Are you, Lantash?"

"I am as well, yes. More than I believed I would, to be honest with you. Are there to be many people here? I was dormant the last several times you and Daniel discussed it, I believe."

Sam frowned. "You're right. You were, so I guess you don't know yet. Per'sus, Anise, and my dad will be joining us and staying for a few days so that we can make some long-range plans. Decide when and how to announce your survival, and come up with the reason why no one was told that you had survived. I think probably the day after tomorrow is when we will have kind of an informal meeting about it. SG2 and a few other people you may or may not know will be here tomorrow, too, so when you talk, be sure you only use my voice, and no glowing eyes. Okay?"

"I understand and I will be extremely careful. I may not come fore at all unless I am alone with my siblings or the few of the Tau'ri that know about it, and even then I will use only your voice, I assure you. It is becoming second nature to me to use your voice and that is a good thing. This way, when I move to Daniel it will continue to be natural for me and I will not give myself away within him, either."

"As for the other, I am glad, Samantha. We should probably discuss when and where I should transfer to Daniel. The time that it will not be safe for me to remain in you without becoming dormant, is fast approaching. I believe I could possibly have around two more weeks, before that happens, but I do not want to wait until the last moment. I am healed enough that I could transfer at any time now."

Lantash felt Sam's heart clench before she said calmly, "Yes, we should probably discuss that as well. I don't want you to miss the pregnancy and if you must become dormant you will miss it all. I really don't want that to happen, Lantash. I want you awake and enjoying every bit of it with us."

Lantash nodded, agreeing with her statements. "Yes, I, too, wish to have the entire experience, my love, you may be sure of that. I do not want to miss any of it, either. I can hardly wait until they begin to move and Daniel and I can feel them for ourselves. It will make them much more real as little 'people' rather than just cells in your womb. No, I definitely do not wish to miss even a second of it."

"You won't. If you begin to feel that the time is coming more quickly then we will do the transfer then, instead of waiting to see. We will go wherever you think we should and do it."

"I know, my love." Lantash smiled at her, giving her a hug and then changing the subject. To dwell on the discussion about their parting would depress her, as well as him, so he would not allow either of them to think too long or too deeply about it.

"Did Daniel remember to tell you that Jacob believes he will have your rings when he comes tomorrow? And ours as well? The artisan that is doing them felt that she would have them finished by today. I do hope you like it, my Samantha. Both the betrothal ring and the wedding bands will be quite lovely, I assure you. Only something enchantingly lovely would be worthy of you and your beauty."

"Jacob told Daniel that he saw them before they were completely finished, and even then, they were, I think exquisite, is the word he used. His word, not Daniel's or mine, so if your father thought that, then they must be very much as we wished them to be."

Sam smiled slightly as she asked softly, "Did Martouf have a particular design in mind for the stone, Lantash, or did you and Daniel design it yourselves?"

"Martouf had a design in mind that was very similar to some of the designs I saw in your mind. I incorporated the two designs and drew up several of them. Daniel and I worked on them until we had something that was similar to what I saw in your mind that you wished to have, what Martouf's thoughts were on it, and how Daniel and I thought it should look. I believe you will be quite pleased with it."

"Because it is from the—three—of you, I know I will fall in love with it. It will be special to me always, Lantash. Of that you can be sure."

"I know, Samantha. Just as the bands that the three of us designed together for us will always mean a great deal to me. The engagement ring will be perfect with our bands as well."

Sam smiled at him again, and then groaned when the doorbell chimed once again. "What else could you possibly have ordered, Lantash?" She moaned aloud. "There can't possibly be anything else these babies need."

Lantash wisely did not answer her as she went to get the door. It would be just as well if he did not tell her anything else that would be coming. Somehow, he didn't think she would appreciate knowing everything that he considered essential to the well-being of their children.

TBC