Spark of Genius

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.

AN1. Well, honestly this chapter was almost completely finished for the last several months, but I just didn't have it in me to tie it off and get it to the beta. Hopefully the malaise is gone and my muse can be firmly back in place. I'm not abandoning any of my stories and should get back to writing on a more regular basis. With that said, I hope you enjoy the chapter, short though it may be at roughly 9k words. I figured you would rather get something rather than nothing until I added more. With that said, enjoy, pip pip and all that rot.

AN2: Life decided to give my family and me multiple swift kicks to the gut right in a row. First it was the six year old niece with cancer, then the cousin graduated from high school only to die the next day, the day after we buried my cousin the niece passed away, and now the aunt has cancer, the grandfather's Alzheimer's is coming to term and the father had a heart attack… But how are you? Suffice it to say I haven't been in the writing mood for a while.

But enough of the morbid junk and back to the fun world of Xander trapped in hell, oh the joy. Wait, maybe that isn't good either? Oh well, he'll have to deal with it.

'Thought'

"Speech"

/foreign language/

Chapter 34: Women = Woe Be Unto Men

"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Woe be unto any man who wrongfully scorns a woman's love or spurns her heartfelt utterances. It can be argued that a woman's heart is the strongest muscle in her body, thus it is no wonder that women have such a great capacity for both love and care. It can be equally understood that if you anger a woman then that incredibly powerful heart can hold a grudge that will endure the ravages of time. A perfect example of the grudge holding was the Amazon nation and Queen Hippolyta. For once, many centuries ago even, Hippolyta fell in love with the Greek hero Hercules but was betrayed and enslaved by Hercules and his army of men. Thus because of a few poor examples of men the Amazons continued to hold a grudge against all men.

A woman scorned is a terrible thing, prone to catty replies and cold shoulders. However the really frightening thing is not a woman scorned but rather a woman who was cock blocked. When you interfere with a woman's romantic and passionate weekend with an exciting man of her dreams, it goes beyond tidings of great woe, catty replies and cold shoulders and enters the realm of "Run for your life!" and "Protect the family jewels!" This is what Ra's al Ghul was about to learn, or at least one of his safe houses in Gotham was about to suffer for.

Four stories above Gotham City's streets, Catwoman slinked out of the open penthouse skylight of the large brownstone mansion that was a mirror image of the row of other brownstones on that particular street. Covered by the dark of night, the only illumination that could give away the position of the dark leather clad figure was the brief glimpses of moonlight that poked out of the smoggy clouds that covered Gotham.

Turning with a smirk, Catwoman fished into a little bag that was clipped to her utility belt, and pulled out a simple Zippo lighter; the type of all steel lighter that is a step above the plastic disposable Bic lighters found at gas stations, but not ostentatious enough to be distinguishable from other metal lighters. In effect, the lighter was a throw away.

Flicking the flint wheel with a clawed thumb, Selena Kyle smiled a catty sneer and flicked the lighter towards the open skylight.

The flaming lighter never reached the opening, as a spinning black blade shaped like a bat flew from the shadows and intercepted the lighter; both the lighter and the batarang clattering to the concrete roof.

A voice from the shadows added, "Well now, I never thought of you as the arsonist kind of criminal Catwoman."

Catwoman turned her head with a sardonic smile and glanced to her right where a figure with a black mask and a black and blue colored body suit stepped out of the shadows caused by the chimney of the brownstone mansion.

"Oh you know, little bit of this, little bit of that. Whatever takes the cat's fancy, you understand." Catwoman stated with a smirk and a gesture with her right hand while cocking her hip to the left and resting her left hand on her hip as she turned and faced Nightwing

Nightwing, aka Dick Grayson, the Batman's former apprentice and now solo crime fighter of the extended "Bat family" smirked at her. "So what, the pretty kitty is playing with fire now?" Dick questioned as he casually walked about five feet in front of Catwoman and stopped to face her with a smile.

Catwoman merely smiled and started to strut forward toward Dick, stiletto heels which could cover a cavernous marble floored room without so much as a whisper were instead making definite clicking sounds as she swayed towards him seductively.

"Oh, isn't that just so precious, the bat must have put you in charge tonight, didn't he?" Selena Kyle questioned and made a slight lick of her lips.

Nightwing made a subconscious swallow as the moonlight peaked out of the clouds and illuminated every curve and line of Catwoman's strut as she walked right up to him and stopped mere inches from his face with her bright red lips so tantalizingly close.

Swallowing against the dryness in his mouth, Dick tried to give her a dashing smile and quipped in reply, "Yes, the city is mine to handle tonight." Nightwing stressed the word 'handle.'

Catwoman's smile quirked a bit bigger and she winked at Dick, "Oh, so you think you can handle a widdle pussy cat do you?" She questioned as she lightly laid first her right and then her left hand on his shoulders.

Dick could only nod in agreement as he felt that the collar of his Nightwing outfit was suddenly a little tight, but simultaneously he was thankful that the spandex armor suit allowed growth in other areas.

Leaning forward slowly towards Dick, Selena whispered seductively in his ear, "Well, I only have one thing to say to that…"

With a brutal pull and a crunch with her newly armored kneecap into Dick's manhood, Catwoman literally lifted Nightwing off the ground with the force of her groin shot.

Dick's eyes went crossed and rolled up into his head before he fell limp to the ground and vomited in pain in between moans while cupping his already swelling manhood; for armor that leaves growth room to stretch can stretch in the opposite direction also.

"Bad Puppy, young pups should learn not to tangle with older cats with claws." Catwoman chastised with a smirk on her lips as she waggled her finger at the downed Dick Grayson holding his injured Doc Johnson. "Besides, I've recently come to learn that you bat boys aren't so much dark and handsome as dark and angsty. Angst gets my dander up, so no no, bad puppy. Oh, and I'd get off the roof soon, Ra's al Ghul's safe house below us is about to go up in flames. Nobody messes with Catwoman and gets away without a scratch."

The last was said over her shoulder with a casual gesture of her hand gracefully waving a goodbye to the hero who was in no position to give chase.

Smirking, she bent down and picked up the Zippo lighter that had been extinguished by the force of the batarang. Flicking the lighter, she threw it through the open sky light of the brownstone and was answered with a satisfying "Whoosh!" of flames and heat as the accelerator that she had spread in a trail from basement to ceiling ignited a path through the house and immediately caused it to catch fire.

Smirking a Cheshire grin and she waved goodbye at Nightwing.

"Ta ta bat boy, you might want to get off the roof, it's about to get a bit toasty up here." She said in parting, and then with a snap of her whip she was off the brownstone's roof and swinging and leaping across the rooftops.

Dick pushed himself up off the roof as the glass skylight a few feet away from him shattered due to the heat and then smoke and fire started licking out of the hole in the roof.

Barely freeing a hand from his injured balls, Nightwing aimed one of his gadget filled gauntleted hands at a nearby taller building and a grapple line shot out and then pulled Dick clear of the burning building.

Dick groaned as the "Snap, Yoink!" of the grappling line pulled him off the roof jostled his swelling twig and berries.

Landing with a thump in the alley underneath his targeted grapple, Dick fell to his knees and coughed several times while activating his bat communicator.

"Batman…" Dick spoke, only to stop when his voice broke and went up several octaves for a second. "*Cough cough*, um, Batman, come in Batman, this is Nightwing."

"Batman here, this is Nightwing's signal, but it doesn't sound like Nightwing." Batman's voice echoed out of the communicator.

Dick grimaced as he replied, "It's Dick, *cough*, Catwoman got the jump on me and got away, said something about Ra's al Ghul's safe house right before she torched it. *Cough* which is burning at my location." Nightwing finished by panting as he tried to hold any remnants of his early meal down while trying to stop the cold sweat that had broken out at the power of Catwoman's blow to Dick's masculinity.

"Hmmm, roger. Gotham FD has been notified to the fire and should be there in a minute. Oh and Nightwing." Batman responded.

"Yes Batman." Nightwing answered in between coughs.

"You're old enough to wear a cup these days. Get yourself back to the cave; Alfred will have a bag of ice waiting for you." Batman answered, and Dick swore there was a hint of a smile in Bruce Wayne's voice.

Nightwing grimaced. They didn't call Batman one of the greatest detectives ever without a reason, and putting together Nightwing's voice change, coughs and the statement about Catwoman getting the jump on Dick seemed to be enough for Batman to work out what had happened. It was either that, or Batman had learned from experience when dealing with Catwoman, not that Bruce would ever admit to it though.

"Roger, returning to the cave, *cough*. Nightwing out." Dick grimaced as he shuffled back to his feet and over to his Motorcycle and then groaned as he looked at his ride home.

"This is going to suck," Nightwing moaned as he barely was able to throw a leg over his motorcycle and then winced as he eased himself into the saddle of the high powered crotch rocket. "Owwwww, now I know why Batman has the batmobile instead of the motorcycle." Dick groaned.

As the motorcycle rumbled to life and drove off into the night, it wasn't quite clear what was louder, the hum of the engine, or the constant groaning of its rider.

As Nightwing disappeared, the roof of the brownstone collapsed and embers were launched into the air as residents flooded the streets along with yelling firemen who pumped water and chemical fire suppressants into the building.

Still the heat was too much for the firefighters to fully combat, and they were going to lose the building. The heat was so high, in fact, that a highly protected amulet that Ra's al Ghul had come across in his travels, a highly magical amulet that he had picked up in the Greek isles some five hundred years ago, actually flared to life and then melted in a release of the magical energies that it held.

The burst of magic was like a contained explosion, bursting outwards until it reached the boundaries of the building it had formerly been protecting from scrying, and then the explosive magical force sucked back in with a giant "POP!"

The release of magical power destroyed everything in the building as it imploded. Thankfully the magical implosion took the fire with it, but it left behind stunned and startled firefighters along with a crowd of neighborhood residents who didn't know what it was they had seen.

However Gotham City functioned very much like Sunnydale in Xander's old universe, for the residents and peace keepers of the city realized that if they were faced with something weird or supernatural and they didn't understand it, then they were better off forgetting and not getting involved. Thus Gotham's equivalent to Sunnydale Syndrome struck and soon the streets emptied of fire fighters and gawking spectators.

Meanwhile on the other side of the globe in Romania, a klaxon blared loudly in a ready room deep inside of the Arcanic University.

Jägers who had been sitting down playing cards, wrestling on the floor for whatever reason, playing video games about world domination or sleeping on the bunks all stopped their activities and darted towards the heavily armed suits of armor that lined the length of one wall.

"Finezly, ve getz da do da bashings of headz." One male Jägerkin said with a smirk to his companion as he stepped into the lower portion of the Mark IX armor that bore the Grey Knight's crest on it. The latest version of the armor had magical runes and sigils etched all over the exterior of the black armor; runes that glowed an eerie mix of green and red and made the armored Jägers look more like magical golems than the shock troops that they really were.

"Yas, itz vill be goodz to sinks my claws inta someding dat is a challenge." The female Jäger replied with a teasing wink at the first Jägerkin.

The first male Jäger stopped midway to putting his helmet on and pouted at the female Jäger, a look that on a Jägerkin's face would only be attractive to another Jägermonster. "Dat vould be deserzing of da, Hey nowz!"

The female Jägerkin blew a kiss at the first, and put her helmet on while around them in the room the other Jägermonsters that made up the Leviathan's first Magical Defense Platoon laughed joyfully while they suited up.

The Jägers all quickly shut up though when a voice boomed across the room, "Attenz huttz, Ofsifer onz da deck!"

All fifty of the Jägermonsters finished sealing up their armor and came to attention as Alec Holland, the former Swamp Thing, tromped into the room in the flowing green leathered long jacket and uniform of an Imperial Guard Commissar but with the emblem of The Leviathan on his uniform hat and armored chest plate.

Behind Alec were four sorcerers wearing long black cloaks with hoods that covered their faces and hands. These were the platoon's war mages, magic users who were given special dispensation to let loose with more destructive magic, but in line with the Leviathan's goals in trade for his protection. At the sorcerers' sides dangled leather bound books with Arcanic writing emblazoned in the same red and green glowing runes as was on the Jäger's armor. The only differentiating characteristic of the group of four magic users was that one carried a staff with a vampire's skull impaled on a spike on the top of it; the symbol of The Leviathan etched in gold into the forehead of the demonic skull. The staff served as both the battle standard and a powerful magical tool, for it was the unit's necromancer who wielded it.

"This is not a drill people! Five minutes ago we had a confirmed burst of magic associated with the Greek goddess Hecate." Alec informed his gathered troops, marching up in front of them and then back again, a stoic look on his green tinted features.

"We don't know if it is in fact Circe, but if it was then we should probably expect a trap as she hasn't released this amount of power since we started tracking her. We will expect a trap and go in hot." Alec said stopping and looking over his troops as he swiveled his head back and forth. "You are authorized to use anything up to lethal force, but the Leviathan wants this witch alive if possible. Are we agreed?"

"Yez Sirz!" Boomed in reply from the combined Jägerkin through their speaker systems.

Alec looked at the magic users and three of them nodded readily. Alec squinted and glared at the dark shadow that hid the Necromancer's face from view, and finally the Necromancer nodded in grudging agreement.

Alec nodded back and then commanded, "Ok, open us a portal, first squad Jägerkin goes first!" Alec commanded and waved his arm at the wall behind the Jägerkin. Five green colored transporter portals expanded into life, each big enough for five armored Jäger's to walk through abreast.

The Jägermonsters immediately turned, pulled assault rifles and twenty five of them dived through the entrance, a split second later to be followed by the second group of twenty five armored Jäger's and then Alec and the four war mages.

Alec stepped through the glowing doorway not knowing what he would find on the other side, only to find himself standing with fifty heavily armed and ready for action Jägers with nothing to do.

Alec looked around at the empty Gotham city street and frowned, as the only movement he saw was a late night resident of a neighboring brownstone who quickly pulled her shades closed.

Suddenly, one of the Jägers summed up the feelings of the entire group, "Dratz! Allz drezzed up for da party, anz nobodies herez ta dance vith." The Jäger said in sorrow at not being able to fight.

"You're not alone in your frustration." Came a feminine voice from above.

Fifty guns swung around to point at the air, muzzles humming a green color as one mage raised his hand and a blast of light exploded ten feet above the platoon before a golden magical shield snapped in place to protect the platoon. A black vortex appeared to circle around the black staff of the necromancer as everybody focused upwards.

Alec's eyes got large, and he shouted, "Hold your fire!"

"BANG!.. TING!" One of the guns discharged in a blast and a high powered projectile shot from the assault weapon of a lone Jäger, only to be deflected by the bracelet of Wonder Woman who was floating down to their level.

Wonder Woman frowned, Alec frowned, and the entire platoon turned to stare at the Jäger who had fired at their ally.

"Vhat? Allz I heardz vas da vord Fire." The Jäger shrugged and held his gun and free hand up at shoulder height, somehow looking apologetic even with the armor on.

"Dummkopf." One of the other Jägermonsters said and knocked the idiot Jäger upside the helmet.

Alec glared at the Jäger before turning to look at Wonder Woman, "Greetings Amazon, any luck in finding Circe?"

"Greetings Alec Holland, and no." Wonder Woman stated with a frown as she touched down on the ground softly outside the golden shield that surrounded the platoon of forces belonging to the Leviathan.

Alec looked over his shoulder at the war mages and shook his head, and the sorcerer creating the magical shield nodded and the magic shield winked out of existence. Immediately the street was much darker than it had been, as the smoggy air of Gotham seemed to suck away the light shining from the armor and the street lamps.

"Stand down but keep vigilant, troops." Alec ordered, and the platoon spread out to search the gap in between the remaining brownstones that lined one side of the street. Alec turned his attention fully to Diana of Themyscira.

"What can you tell me about your search for the witch?" Alec asked. Alec Holland had been the liaison between the Justice League, Wonder Woman, and the Leviathan's forces in the hunt for Circe ever since Xander had first contacted Batman regarding the disappearance of Themyscira.

"She still eludes us, and every time I let her survive our past encounters galls me now." Wonder Woman growled and her eyes flashed angrily. She continued and waved her hand at the missing building, wires and pipes of sewage simply cut off from where a foundation and basement of a building used to be. "This was the closest we had come to tracking her, or at least the power of Hecate."

Alec turned and looked silently at where the building was missing from what had no doubt been a seamless group of brownstone mansions built wall against wall.

"Dr. Fate sent me notice that an emanation of Hecate's magic had been located here, so I teleported into Gotham and flew the remaining distance." Wonder Woman explained.

The former swamp thing turned his head to the side and looked at Wonder Woman with a question in his eyes, "Dr. Fate? I've not worked with him yet. Who is this doctor?"

"Who is a good question regarding the doctor." Wonder Woman replied and she turned her inspection of the missing building to Alec while crossing her arms. "Dr. Fate is a sorcerer of the magical powers of order. He sometimes helps the Justice League when we are faced with magical threats." She explained, and then added with a negligent flip of her hand. "He wasn't there for your initial meeting with the League because he was busy tracking some agent of chaos that has eluded him for months now while apparently changing the ripples of the future, or at least that's his explanation."

Alec's eyebrow ticked, as when somebody mentions an agent of chaos the former Swamp Thing immediately thought about Xander. Being a brilliant scientist himself, Alec Holland was able to put two and two together quiet easily, but as all good scientists, it was always smart to do further tests on a hypothesis.

In a nonchalant manner, while not looking at Wonder Woman, Alec asked casually, "Oh, well good that he is helping then. I assume that means he found his agent of chaos?"

"No, apparently the chaotic what-ever has disappeared from his sphere of observation…or something like that." Wonder Woman said frowning at the missing building.

"Ah, well no sense in staying around here then. We'll be packing up and going back home, don't want to taunt the Bat any more than necessary by being loose in 'HIS' city." Alec added the last part with a smirk at Wonder Woman out of the corner of his eye.

"Ha! You have no idea how much The Leviathan drives Batman up the wall." Diana replied with a chuckle before again remembering her Amazonian sisters and the situation they were all in. "I'll be going also, fare thee well Alec." With that, she took to the skies and flew away without even waiting for a response.

"Farewell Princess." Alec responded before turning to his troops. "Ok Platoon, mount up, we are heading home." Then with a wave of his arm a portal opened up and the Jägers lined up and marched through, the sorcerers in a group between the two platoons, and Alec bringing up the rear.

However, before Alec could step through the portal back to Romania, a tickle of his senses called to him from the earth at his feet.

Turning suddenly, Alec looked to the east, as what he had felt were emanations from the Green, but not the type that came from the plants and earth around him but the type that came from another intelligent being that communed with the earth. The sense, almost like distant bells that called to him, felt decidedly feminine. For a second, Alec Holland, former Swamp Thing and earth and nature elemental, felt a longing to seek out that source. It called to his loneliness, to his heart.

Shaking himself, Alec brought his senses back to the present, back to the asphalt street and the smoggy skies around him. Whatever it was that called to him would bare looking into, but it would have to wait as lives were still on the line.

With that, Alec shook his head again and stepped through the portal back to The Leviathan's Empire. Alec only hoped that after Xander and the Amazons returned safely to their home dimension that he would have a chance to explore the call that the Green was sending him.

Safe was a relative term where Xander and the Amazons were concerned. Yes the hell dimension itself was deadly, but in reality the most imminent threat of danger didn't come from the hell dimension they found themselves in, it was from the contents of Xander's supply packs.

'No respect at all.' Xander mentally groused to himself with a fierce scowl on his face behind his helmet. 'You come all the way to help out a lady, and does she say thank you? No. You save her daughter's life, and does she say thank you? No!'

Xander had just finished verbally sparring with Queen Hippolyta and her rabid fellow support group of Man-hater's Anonymous and lugged his stuff to a broad hillock that looked like it had been a shallow volcanic crater at one time. The sloped bowl shaped hillock made a natural defensive structure outside the walls of Themyscira and would hopefully provide Xander and his campground some protection from the slavering hordes of demons that trolled the ground and plagued the skies of this hell dimension.

"Patience Xander.' Xander's inner voice of reason cautioned. 'The Amazons have separated themselves on their island for centuries without contact with men, and don't get me started on the Bana-Mighdall Amazons who look at men as only breeding stock or slaves when they aren't outright trying to kill all men. Be thankful that it was only angry words they were throwing back at you.'

'Fuck that! You don't need to take that crap. I say take over the city and gut those who stand in your way. They want to whine and moan about how bad a guy can treat them, I say give them something to really complain about!' The Primal growled viciously, adding his opinion to the discussion.

Xander frowned even larger, 'Shut up primal! I've never killed a girl before and I'm not about to start by wiping out a bunch of women just because they insulted me. You remind me of Tony and his statements about beating respect into people. Keep up this bullshit and I'll make sure to exorcise whatever remains of you as soon as I get back to the DC dimension.' Xander threatened.

The Primal spirit growled, but shut up as the other voices in Xander's head all turned and glared at the intruding spirit that had become a part of Xander.

Stomping the heavy feet of his Dreadknight exoskeleton over the rusty red soil of the plain of hell, Xander tromped up the slope to his campground. Xander's targeted resting place was some fifteen feet raised above the surrounding plain that made up the valley where Themyscira was currently located.

Finally reaching his target, Xander pivoted his Dreadknight to look around the bowl of the crater and then went about pushing any of the larger rocks in the crater to the sides so that Xander would have a level spot to unpack.

The voices in Xander's head started arguing about what to do and how to go about addressing the problem with the Amazons and the fact that if Xander wasn't in Themyscira when it went home, then he would be left behind.

"Enough!" Xander spat verbally so that his voices would just shut up. "I'm sure I'll have plenty of time to figure out what the heck to do with the Amazons later, but for now all of you shut up so that I can concentrate on getting the campground safe so that we can actually survive the night." Xander said out loud to himself as he parked the Dreadknight and then triggered the exoskeleton to shut down.

Mumbled acceptance and a few apologies were made in his head but Xander tuned it out in order to concentrate on getting the first step in his protection ready.

The carapace of the Dreadknight's crew compartment opened and Xander floated out of it in his Grey Knight armor until his feet touched the ground.

Looking around, Xander sighed for a second to calm his mind and then closed his eyes. Muttering under his breath to himself he said, "Alright then, let's see what the damage was with the loss of Jarvis."

Xander's mind delved into the computer systems of his suit, his thoughts merging into series of binary ones and zeros as he delved his mind into the code that was supposed to contain the artificial intelligence of Jarvis as well as the control mechanisms for the armor… and it didn't look good.

'Hmmm, all systems and programs that relied on Jarvis are completely gone, as if somebody took a big hatchet and just severed the AI from the suit's computers.' Xander thought as he communed through his nano-clanks to the computer built into his suit. 'I can band-aid there… hmmm, if I reroute that path through this tree over here I can set life support and maintenance systems to automatic without any real intelligence controlling it… well crap, my music databases are gone, and there goes the auto-doc and auto repair functions… mental note, don't get hurt.' Xander went through the list of problems and categorized them on level of seriousness. Out of the things he was going to miss the most, the auto repair and automatic medical aid systems were probably going to be the worst losses, though he had a thought that he may go stir crazy without any music and without anybody to really talk to at his solo campground.

Xander's eyes opened again as he sighed, his sensors again told him that he was still alone at his campground. Blinking his eyes purposefully, Xander momentarily wrote a code program that would put his sensors on auto alarm if a life presence got within eighty meters of him, otherwise it looked like it would be up to Xander to keep a look out for danger.

"Fine then, now that the armor situation is dealt with as best as we can get; what next?" Xander asked rhetorically as he looked around his still barren campground. Turning a circle to look at Xander's little slice of hell, Xander noticed the flutter of his black cape out of the side of the sensor image.

Smiling, Xander continued to talk to himself, "Finally, some good news to this crappy day…" Xander paused and thought about his last statement, then his smile got larger and he shrugged to himself, "Ok, so slaughtering the demons was a lot of fun, but still."

Raising his hand to the neck of his Armor, he detached the two skull-like broach clips that held the cape to his armor and pulled off the cloak so that it was hanging from his hand, dangling in front of him.

"Ok guys, time to stop playing hide and seek and show the world what you can do." Xander said out loud, his speakers broadcasting his verbal command as he continued to smirk.

The cloak in Xander's hand rippled as if blown by a breeze that only affected the nano-weave of the cape, and slowly the cloak seemed to dissolve as if unraveling, until the unraveling picked up speed until it was as if the cloak was dissolving into dust in Xander's hand.

The dust poured out of the gaps between Xander's hand, and as the particles spilled from his armored fingers little clanks started to pop back into their proper size, the nano-clank weave of the cape filled with little clanks that enlarged themselves up to appropriate little clank size via the shrinking and enlarging technology.

Xander stood there smirking as it appeared that he was standing in a sea of gold and black little clanks, the entire bowl of the campsite was filled up by little multi-shaped clanks that stared at him with their mechanical eyes.

"Bwa ha ha ha ha!" Xander chuckled darkly, "Excellent…" He hissed out as he turned a circle and examined all of the clanks around him.

Xander smiled down at his creation, happy that even if he didn't have access to the Amazon's city, he was far from being alone. With a command of "Atten Hutt!" The little clanks all came to ridged attention, layers of them standing on the shoulders of other little clanks as the twenty foot diameter campground wasn't big enough for the million little clanks to stand side by side.

"TOOT TOOT!" "HONK HONK!" "TWEET TWEET!" "BEEP BEEP!" Xander's army of miniaturized robots saluted as one, all of their little voices sounding like an orchestra of musical instruments and beeping electronics.

Xander smiled from inside his helmet and then turned and carefully stepped his way through the packed throng of tiny clanks until he reached the side of his Dreadknight system. Xander's fingers quickly and skillfully detached the large satchel bag that connected to one side of the exoskeleton, and then turned towards his throng of robots as he opened up his sack.

"Ok gang, time to bring Murphy's law of combat to life." Xander said with a smirk as he opened the bag and dropped it so the opening was on the ground and accessible to the clanks.

Pointing to his left, and the clanks that were on that side of him, Xander ordered, "Alright, you half on the left, you're the diggers, you on the right side, you're the mine layers, and I'll paint the red line." Xander finished with an evil smirk and a deep chuckle "Wa ha ha ha."

The Amazon guards manning, or in this case womaning, the walls of Themyscira watched the armored behemoth march across the plains in a snit. Snide words were bandied about between the guards about the man, and several man jokes were passed back and forth between the women on the wall. Yet still, an undertone of unease lay beneath the Amazonian's comments of derision towards the Grey Knight and men in general as both the comments and recent actions of the man remained in the back of their minds. After all, it was hard to fully believe in ideas of men being weak or without honor when they had just witnessed one man not only save the life of the Shim Tar, but also the Princess and then proceed to almost single handedly slaughter the demonic horde that had attempted to assault their city.

One guard chuckled as she listened to her sisters discuss the short comings of what they considered the weaker sex before quipping with a joke, "Sisters, did you hear about what Hera said to Zeus after they first created men?" She questioned in Greek.

Here two sister guards turned to her with smirks on their faces and gave the expected reply, "No, what did the gods say?"

"We can do so much better with the next one." The first guard gave the punchline with a smirk.

"Ha, Ha! That is a good one." The second armored guard answered as she leaned on her spear for support as she laughed.

The third one laughed also, only to stop mid chuckle as movement from the Man's campground caught her eye. "What in Hera's name is that?"

Her voice carried down the wall, and the Amazonian guards all swung to look at where the guard pointed.

Spilling out of one of the cratered bowls that dotted the plains of hell appeared to be a metallic swarm of gophers, or at least it appeared to be gophers as the shiny little creatures that poured out of the bowl in their millions dived out of the Knight's campground and started digging in the dirt. Dust and dirt flew from little hands as if they were building little nests. Into these nests more of the little creatures planted what looked like brown, green, tan, black or rusty metal eggs of some sort before they were again buried in the red dusty soil.

The flying dirt created a brief cloud of fine dust that issued up into the air and drew the attention of additional Amazon's in the city, and soon the wall was filled with the warrior women gazing out at the little creatures that seemed to be playing in the dirt.

"Look over there." One of the woman stated to her companions, pointing to where the armored figure of the Grey Knight drew a zigzagged and backtracked path on the ground with two large cans of spray paint; each overly large canister drawing a line as if the Grey Knight was outlining a path. The man moved closer to the city walls from his campground, drawing a winding path of almost florescent red paint.

"So like a man to spend his time playing in the dirt!" One of the amazons jeeringly yelled down at Xander, who ignored the cat call and the accompanied laughter from the other women on the wall.

Instead, Xander disappeared in a blur; racing along the wall at a distance of twenty five feet from its base, where he traveled a red line appeared.

The Grey Knight kicked up a cloud of dust as he circumnavigated the city's walls, only pausing briefly to create another zigzagged path leading to safety at the city's front gates before continuing his course to completion where he started. Behind the grey knight, the horde of small metallic clanks continued their work of digging holes, planting a small metallic and plastic device, and then burying it before moving on. A force of about twenty small clanks carried the large side bag that disgorged the dangerous 'eggs' and they trooped along diligently behind the diggers and mine layers.

High on the walls overhead, Artemis, Shim Tar of the former city of Bana-Mighdall pushed her way to the edge of the wall directly over where The Grey Knight had just finished painting his line. Sneering down at Alexander she shouted, "What are you doing boy? Going to bake me a mud cake, or do you just enjoy wallowing in the dirt where men belong?"

Xander looked up at Artemis from his place on the ground and frowned for a second as he glared from behind his mask up at the Amazon. However his glare only lasted for a second, before in true Xander style an idea popped into his head and he smirked.

Raising his hands to his helmet, Xander twisted it and disengaged the locks with a mental control and physical manipulation.

"Now now, don't be hasty, the amazing Xander has come to enlighten and bedazzle you ladies." He smirked his patented goofy smirk up at the women with a twinkle in his eye.

Bending down, Xander laid down his helmet and snatched four rocks off the ground and began to juggle them in front of the now confused bunch of Amazons.

"Just what we needed ladies, a fool to entertain us!" Artemis shouted, and the woman joined her in laughing at Xander, only for his voice to carry over their new laughter.

"Ah ah ah, don't be too hasty now my dear, for the amazing Xander shall teach you that not is all that it appears." Xander stated with a big smile as he continued to two handed juggle the four rocks up in the air, taking the time to loop his hand under his other arm to do a few simple trick juggles.

Switching the rocks so that they were only being juggled in his left hand, Xander raised his right hand high so that all of the women on the wall could see it clearly as he showed them his empty hand, "See, nothing up this sleeve." Xander then deftly switched the juggled rocks to whirl in the air above his right hand while raising his left hand and giving it a jazz-hand like shake. "And nothing up this sleeve." He stated loud enough for the woman to hear him.

The Amazons had stopped their jeering and paused to see what he was about to do, and Xander didn't leave them hanging for long.

Xander smirked, and with a snap of his hands the four rocks sailed back over his shoulders, two from each hand.

The rocks sailed through the air, and the women on the wall followed the trajectory of the rocks as they lazily rose into the air and then descended rapidly… right into the middle of the freshly laid minefield.

The speed of the rocks impacting the ground jarred the pressure plates, and the mines that had once been created to ensure the seclusion of Kahndaq and Black Adam, exploded in fire and shrapnel.

The multiple "BOOMS!" rocked and startled the Amazons on the walls, leaving Artemis and her sisters stunned in open mouthed awe. The shock wave of the explosions echoed off of the bluffs in the distance and bounced back towards the city, bringing the Amazons out of their stupor as dust and debris settled down over the devils garden planted behind Xander.

"Thank You! Thank You!" Xander stated, bowing repeatedly to the stunned Amazons on the walls as if he was a stage magician at some Vegas night club. "You've been such a great audience! I'll be here all week! Try the veal." Xander quipped, and with a swivel on his foot, he scooped up and replaced his helmet before threading his way back through the safe path to his campsite with a jaunty skip in his step.

High on the walls behind him he left a stunned audience of warrior women who looked at each other wide eyed. Their thoughts were mirrored amongst all of them, 'What in the hell is that man?'

Xander's introductory course on Minefields 101 was the last real communication between The Grey Knight and the Amazons for the rest of the day, and as night fell Xander found himself relatively alone at his campsite. Twin moons poked through the clouds and cast their shadowy light down over the mine field and Xander's lonely campsite; one of the moons shined a bright red while the second painted the ground around Xander with an eerie orange color.

Xander stared into the fire as its flickering light seemed to be swallowed up by the darkness that pervaded the rim of the crater that he had made his new home in hell.

'Home, heh,' Xander thought to himself regarding his current domicile in the middle of a hell dimension. 'Well if nothing, the same sense of evil that seems to be a constant here, that and the heat of the place does remind me of dear old Sunnydale.'

Xander's inner voice of irony charmed in, 'I can see the travel brochure now. "Tired of Sunnydale? Come to Hell, just like southern California with the same amount of demons, gorgeous single women and pervasive evil, but with half the property costs!"'

Xander mentally chuckled at that and the corner of his mouth quirked up in a half smile that lasted for a moment before fading.

"I'm bored." Xander stated quietly to himself as he stared at his campfire. "And I really had hoped that my first time camping would include s'mores and camp music." Looking around at the gathered glowing eyes of his little clanks who were watching over the campground, somehow Xander figured that they weren't going to able to join him in a rousing rendition of Kumbayah, though the first few verses of "Camp Grenada" did seem fitting given he was camping in a hell dimension.

"Heh, where I could get eaten by a bear." Xander smirked to himself wryly before making a mental query, 'Anybody know how to make any musical instruments out of tubes and a large leather bag? I'm fresh out of wood for a guitar but I've got this giant leftover saddle bag and some of the tubes that were used as racks for the mines we planted.'

A mental dialogue went on for a second before Xander's inner Heterodyne chirped in, 'Well actually, yes, but you're either going to love it or hate it. And even if you don't hate it, then I have a feeling that the Amazons won't be too happy about it.'

Xander's eyebrow's rose at that comment, and then an evil smirk came across his face as he thought about the possibility of getting some mild payback at the jeering women that were safely behind their wall.

'Tell me more.' Xander said with a smirk.

Xander could feel his inner voices all smirk back as the Heterodyne stated with a smile in his voice, 'Well… what do you know about Bagpipes?'

At about the same time that Xander mentioned that he was bored, Queen Hippolyta woke up with a start as a sense of foreboding shivered down her spine. Quickly looking around here bedroom in the palace, she saw that nothing was around that would have possibly caused her to have a feeling of fear, so she lay back down to sleep.

Hippolyta's mind rested, and she started to fade back to sleep.

"BREEEEEEEEEEEEEE! BREEE! BREE BREEE!" A high pitched tone that seemed to cut through her head and rattle her teeth launched Hippolyta out of her bed and running for her weapons and the door as it sounded like some horrible hell beast was attacking the city.

Hippolyta ran out into the city in only her sleeping toga, golden sword in one hand and a shield in another as she looked up and down the street frantically for where the attack was coming from. Other Amazons poured out of their houses and ran to the walls as the sound of a thousand donkeys braying while a million cats were strangled rebounded off of the stone buildings and walls of Themyscira and echoed back off of the bluffs that surrounded the hell valley where the city sat.

"Holy Hera! What is that noise!" The Queen shouted as Amazon guards ran by, but her question was drowned out by the loud "BREEEEEEEEE!" Sound that filled the night air. Rushing down the street and up the steps to the top of the wall, Hippolyta pushed her way through the crowd of cringing women holding their ears until she could have a view out over the wall and towards where the noise was coming from.

There, illuminated by the light of a large campfire was the Grey Knight, helmet off and standing on the lip of the crater he had claimed, giant billows laying at his feet as groups of little clanks jumped up and down raising and lowering the billows. While the little clanks pumped the billows of the largest uilleann pipes ever made, an instrument very similar to bagpipes but which used a billows rather than air blown in by mouth, Alexander used wires attached to fingers to open and depress the holes on the tubes while a strap to his elbow allowed him to open and close keys via a regulator.

The drone of the pipes was almost deafening as Xander varied the chanter, drone and regulator through some horrible squeaks and braying sounds until finally something that sounded like music started to issue from the instrument.

The loudest solo version of "Scotland the Brave" ever to be played by a lone piper issued out of The Grey Knight's pipes, seeming to rattle the chests of the Amazons standing on the wall yet also hauntingly tug at their hearts. There was something about the mournful call of the pipes that called up pictures of a land and a world far away. The flickering light of the campfire cast shadows on the un-helmeted face of Xander, as he closed his eyes and just played.

Through all this, the Amazons just stared in slack jawed awe, not quiet sure whether the ear splitting sound was incredibly annoying, or incredibly beautiful.

As Xander played his first impetus for the music was one third boredom, one third an urge to get under the skin of the Amazons, and one third an outlet for his emotions. Not since his first day in Metropolis had Xander really had the time to do nothing but think about where he had come from, the loss of his friends and just what his life had turned into. In the hustle and bustle of trying to survive and thrive, this time in hell which felt strangely familiar and not unlike the pervasive feel of Sunnydale, was really his first time to really dwell on his feelings. Up until this point he had either been inventing, or trying to get a handle on his rising empire or powers, but here at his lonely campfire his thoughts could just dwell on his friends far far away.

Images of Xander's friends back in Sunnydale came to mind as memories of Buffy, Willow, Giles and even Jesse returned to the forefront of his mind. As Scotland the Brave ended, Xander continued playing songs that he had never truly known personally but that came from the Heterodyne universe. Mournful tunes of loss varied to songs of hope as Xander stood on the plains of hell and played. Protected by a mine field and surrounded by his ever watchful little clanks, Xander still felt all alone and so his song played out as such. Even with the Amazon's watching silently, their hearts being touched by the melodic haunting strains of the man's music, Xander felt alone.

Xander played his loss of his friends, the loss of his home dimension, his hurt at his treatment by the Amazons whom he had come to help, and he played the droning chant that the hope for tomorrow to be better. The melodic sounds of songs from a universe where the spark ran rampant gave way to a song that was more familiar to Xander as the haunting tune of "Danny Boy" billowed from his giant pipes.

As the last strains of his music echoed through the night air and faded off as Xander stopped playing, he opened his eyes and turned to look up at the city walls of Themyscira.

Xander's eyes locked with Hippolyta and then Artemis who stood next to the queen, and the depth of his look tugged at something that the Amazons had thought was walled off long ago. The music and the look of such loneliness that shown from the eyes of the Grey Knight did what the passing of time had been unable to do. The fortress of anger and fear of being hurt by men that Hippolyta and the Amazons held in their hearts cracked. It was just a little crack, but the seed of change had been planted, and for the first time in centuries many of the Amazons briefly thought that perhaps they had found a man worthy of trusting. They wouldn't trust him yet, but the sliver of thought was planted in their minds and burying itself deeper as they each contemplated their silent thoughts.

Xander had held his gaze, panning silently down the line of Amazons that stood on the walls and were illuminated by torch light. Then with a final look down and a heaving of his shoulders as he let out a sigh, Xander bent down, picked up his helmet and put it back on.

The last image that the Amazons had of Xander's campfire before The Grey Knight extinguished said fire was of two glowing red eyes looking up at them. Those two eyes had looked at them as if peering into their souls, as if Alexander had looked at them and truly seen them and their inner selves.

The campground went dark, and The Grey Knight disappeared from view due to the darkness of night as the Amazons turned and silently looked at their companions before slowly and quietly returning to their homes or their guard positions. It would be a night's sleep where many tossed and turned as they started to question their long held beliefs and what the next day would bring on the plains of hell.

AN: Well, a short chapter but a lot happened in it… well sort of. Next chapter is going to focus almost entirely on Xander and the action in hell, though we may see a foray back into the SunnyD verse and an update of what was happening with Buffy and the remaining Scoobies. Again, sorry for the wait but life had handed me a ton of lemons and it took a while before I could turn them all into lemonade. On an honest aside, if I get some good reviews or mentions of thoughts for what should happen next then my muse should feel inspired to write more. I could use some ideas for what is going on back in Sunnydale now that Xander isn't around. Does Jonathan come in and partially fill the role of donut fetcher and research help that Xander did? Does Cordy and Buffy's friendship get to the point where the slayerettes become the new "in" crowd? Does Willow's search for a method to bring Xander back get her entangled in magic faster than it did in the original universe or get her tangled up with the Goddess Hecate and similar powers to that of Circe? How does the fact that time moves a whole lot slower in the Sunnydale verse effect what interaction takes place between Xander and the scoobies? All thoughts that I would like your help with. Thanks in advance, and Cheers!

P.S. The song Danny Boy was a favorite of my Irish family, and I've sung it at many a funeral. This chapter is dedicated to Andy Procter and McKinzie Hall who will be missed but not forgotten.