Notes: In which Loki gets in touch with his inner Mary Poppins (and also Hermione Granger- thank you to readers who reminded me of that!), and Clint is, in his way, sentimental.
Also, in reviewing previous stories I'm pretty sure Loki and JARVIS have only met once- I ask your indulgence if it turns out I'm wrong about that!
Warnings: For approaching fruitcake, and also a little dubious morality.
Chapter Three
Loki and Annie had previous experience of the Avengers gathered together for a holiday, but even so the level of sound that greeted them as they opened the door was nearly overwhelming. Considering the whole group was not even present- Thor, for one, was missing- it was an impressive burst of noise. George and Mitchell were even more taken aback- and the initial greeting was as nothing compared to what happened when the other guests saw Annie.
Pepper, always so cool and polished, actually let out a little shriek as she started forward. It was not the same yelp of shock Tony had uttered- indeed, to Loki, it sounded rather like a more grownup version of the sound emitted by the girls at his school, after a period of separation from their friends.
Jane let out a similar noise, and all three women greeted one another with pleasure and excitement.
"Thor told us you- "
"This is wonderful, how did- "
"I couldn't believe it when- "
Loki, occupied though he was with greeting the others, found his heart warmed by the delighted welcome Annie was receiving. He still edged away from the trio, though, herding Mitchell and the cat basket with him in an effort to protect the kittens' hearing.
"Girls," said Clint, with a sideways little smirk at Natasha. Her look in return suggested that if he valued his entrails, the remark would not be repeated.
Steve turned to Loki, George, and Mitchell with the air of a peacekeeper. "Do you need help bringing anything in from the car?"
"No, thank you," Loki smiled, indicating the single rather small bag he carried. "We have everything we need here."
Steve blinked, looking as puzzled as Tony had. "Really?"
"Really," Loki said. The kittens wailed, and Loki said, "They will never forgive me if I leave them in this basket much longer. May we- ?"
Tony started. "Oh, right, sure. You want to settle them in your room? You and Annie are up that stairwell, at the end of the hall. George and Mitchell, yours are at the other end- "
"Right near me," Bruce said. "I can show you."
"Thank you," George said, and turned to Loki. "I suppose we should take our stuff from you now, should we?"
"Very well," Loki agreed, with the air of making a concession. He set down the bag he was carrying- a Gladstone type, made of patterned oriental carpet- and unsnapped the clasp at the top. Then he knelt and reached in. His arm disappeared into the bag to the shoulder- which got everyone's attention- and he drew it out dragging a duffle bag considerably larger than the carpet-bag itself. "Really, George," he complained, as he struggled to pull the one out of the mouth of the other, "I do not see why you need such a large bag. We will only be here for a week."
"I need my shaving things, and I like my own robe and slippers," George replied with dignity.
"How about me?" Mitchell prompted.
"One moment," Loki replied, diving back in. He came out with a large bag of cat food, put it back, then withdrew some wrapped presents, put them back, and finally pulled out a tall brass floor lamp.
"Now you're just showing off, Mary Poppins," Tony announced.
Loki grinned, put the lamp back, and finally emerged with Mitchell's backpack.
"Thanks," said Mitchell.
"I take it the bag is enchanted?" Steve stated the obvious.
"It seemed more convenient than carrying a great many bags among ourselves," Loki explained, pulling out the presents again, then a container of litter for the kittens, a pullover, and a blue bathrobe. He carefully re-folded the bathrobe and the pullover, stowed the items back inside the carpet-bag, and closed it.
"And you just happened to have an old-fashioned carpet-bag handy, to put the spell on?" Steve persisted.
Loki wriggled a little as he admitted, "I may have gone looking for the carpet-bag. A backpack would have had less… style." He smiled. "And though I borrowed the idea from Hermione Granger, I confess the execution does in fact owe a great deal to Mary Poppins."
Tony suddenly looked confused. "Okay, then, so why did George end up carrying that big parcel?"
"I asked the same question," George complained.
Loki lifted an eyebrow and looked aggravatingly innocent. "Surely you do not think a small bag such as this is able to hold a limitless number of items? Really, Tony."
Tony, after one long sour look, apparently decided he was not up for an argument about magical relativity with a sorcerer. Instead, he picked up the cat basket and gestured to Loki to follow him. Bruce and Steve took the other two away to a different staircase. Annie had by this time been carried off by Pepper and Jane- Natasha trailing along with Scamp, as if undecided about whether she wished to claim membership in their tribe- so Loki took the carpet-bag and followed Tony up two flights of stairs. Clint accompanied them, apparently hoping for further luggage-related magical tricks.
Or possibly not, because as they climbed the staircase from the first landing, he said,
"So. Annie. Thor told us about her being visible now, but I didn't catch exactly why? Something about dealing with her unfinished business?"
"Yes," Loki said, uncertain how much he could relate without infringing upon Annie's right to tell her own story.
However, it quickly became apparent that Thor had already exercised his own right to tell his friends what he felt they should know:
"Something about her ex, right?" Clint persisted. "I mean, I guess he was her ex. Thor said she told him off?" Loki nodded. Clint shook his head. "Man, if she'd just mentioned at Thanksgiving she was having a problem with him, Tash or I could have taken care of it for her. She just had to say."
Loki, momentarily speechless, looked at Clint's apparently sincere expression, and then cast a questioning glance at Tony, who also seemed unconcerned.
"Is this a test?" he blurted.
"No," Tony said kindly.
"Why would it be?" Clint asked.
"I do not know," Loki admitted. "And, come to think of it, Thor's friend Hogun the Grim made a similar offer. It is just… " Loki spluttered to a stop, realizing there was no polite way to express his surprise that Thor had friends who were perfectly willing to do things Loki's friends- to say nothing of Loki himself- had balked at. He meant no disrespect to either group, of course, it was just rather strange.
Clint looked amused.
"Is the problem that I'm not supposed to talk like this because I'm a good guy?" he asked, cutting directly to the heart of Loki's conflict. "Tash and me, we're not good guys. We're spies. We do the stuff Steve- and Bruce and Tony- "
"Hey," protested Tony.
"- won't," Clint completed the thought. "Or Annie, obviously."
"Oh. Um," Loki faltered, hoping this was the last time any of his brother's comrades expressed friendship for his household in this particular manner. "Thank you," he finally said, inadequately. Then rallied enough to add, "Although... we are convinced the reason Annie is now visible is because she dealt with Owen for herself. So it really is for the best that she did not ask for your... assistance."
Clint considered, and then shrugged. "Fair enough. But, you know, as long as she's done with him, if you ever need someone to take out the trash- "
"We will surely ask your aid," Loki assured him. There seemed little point in telling Clint that Hogun had already made that offer, too, on Loki's most recent visit to Asgard- Thor had not been present at that interview, either, come to think of it- or in asking why in the Nine Realms either of them presumed that, if there was a murder to be committed, Loki was not qualified to do it himself.
Not, he assured himself hastily, that he would.
It appeared that Clint had said all he wished to, so he excused himself and went back downstairs. As they watched him go, Tony shook his head.
"I'm always surprised by how peculiarly sentimental Clint can be. In, you know, a very disturbing Clintish way. This is your room, here on the corner." He opened a door and flicked on the light as he led the way inside. "Bathroom's over there."
"Thank you," Loki said, looking around. Tony set down the cat basket and said,
"I'm going to check that George and Mitchell are getting settled all right- come on down when you're ready. And when you think the cats have their bearings, feel free to let them wander, okay?" He disappeared before Loki could repeat his thanks.
Loki carried the cat-basket and the carpet-bag into the bathroom, rummaged around until he found the litter box (carefully wrapped in plastic), the container of litter, the food and dishes, and a scratching post. He arranged everything appropriately, then released the kittens, who came tiptoeing out, as if wary of danger, and then began to explore.
The bathroom was far larger than his bedchamber at home, but then again, the bathroom at home was also larger than his bedchamber. Indeed, this room was larger than the lounge and the entry hall at home put together, with a huge bathtub and separate shower, in addition to other gleaming fixtures. There was also a large oak cabinet containing numerous fluffy towels, various toiletries, extra lavatory paper and the like. Loki rearranged a shelf to make room for the bag of cat food and closed the door.
By the time he turned around, Elizabeth and Philip had ventured into the bedroom, tails up alertly in case of danger. Loki picked up his bag and followed.
The bedroom was large, in proportion to its bath, with windows in two walls as befit a corner room. Despite its size, there was an air of coziness caused by the dormer effect of the top storey. Still, there was plenty of room: Loki had not seen a bed so large since he left Asgard. The other furnishings included laden bookshelves, a handsome chest of drawers, and a wardrobe that might have concealed a passage to Narnia. Opening it to check, Loki found the usual drawers and some covered hangers awaiting his own clothing. There was, as well, a green-and-gray plaid bathrobe, woven of soft warm wool, hanging there in case it should be needed.
Loki paused for a moment, unconsciously stroking the robe, feeling sure there was a memory connected to the article but unable to retrieve it. He was distracted from his effort by the sound of something falling over, and turned to see Philip and Elizabeth fleeing from the tumbled irons by the fireplace.
"Behave yourselves," he whispered, scooping them up. They snuggled, purring, into his chest, which made it rather difficult to reprove them. "You surely do not wish to make Tony regret inviting us. Nor do I want to worry every minute about what you might be getting up to."
"If you wish, sir, I can watch them for you," a disembodied and oddly familiar voice suddenly suggested. Loki was far too old a hand to visibly express surprise- he would never say so to Tony, but in any unfamiliar environment he was as prepared for potential threats as the kittens, to say nothing of more experienced in dealing with them- but he did look up in a calculated show of interest.
"Hello?" he said, in a carefully neutral voice.
"I beg your pardon," said the voice, "we have not been introduced. I am JARVIS, an artificial intelligence system. I monitor the house in Malibu, and also assist Mr. Stark with the Iron Man suit. He recently installed me in all of his residences. In reviewing my records, I perceive that you and I have only encountered each other once before, since I was not called upon the last time you visited the Tower, and had not been installed there on the previous occasion you were present. Nor was I active in the country house in New York until this week. Also, I see from my records that, when we encountered one another in Malibu, I seem to have frightened you rather badly. I apologize for that."
Loki, who now recognized the voice from their invitation, could think of only one occasion he had visited Tony's house in Malibu, and he remembered practically nothing about it. Still, based on others' descriptions of the circumstances, he found it easy to believe he would have been afraid of even a helpful voice in the walls.
"No apologies are necessary," he said, "and I regret in my turn anything I might have done to trouble you at that time."
"Would you care for me to monitor your pets for you, sir?" JARVIS returned to his (surely his?) original offer.
"I am sure you have more pressing responsibilities- " Loki began.
"In fact, I do not," JARVIS replied. "This house is best equipped to be run by humans, not a system such as myself. I am installed in what is more or less an observational capacity."
Loki deposited the now-squirming kittens on the bed, where they immediately began to wrestle. He looked in the direction from which the voice was coming, and started to ask a question: "Then why would Tony- ?" And stopped himself, as the truth hit him. "Tony installed you here because you are also his friend and he wants you in attendance, is that not so?"
"I'm sure I could not say," said JARVIS composedly.
Loki, who as a child had had considerable experience with friends who existed only in his imagination, could. He decided there was no need to press the issue.
"I would be very grateful if you could keep watch over these little rascals for me," he said. "They are generally not too troublesome, but have been known to fall prey to curiosity, in what I am told is the manner of their kind."
"Very well, sir," said JARVIS. "Also, Mr. Stark wishes for me to inform you that the evening meal is about to be served, and has asked me to direct you to the dining room."
"Thank you," Loki replied, retrieved a few catnip toys from the carpet-bag before stowing it away in the wardrobe, tossed them to the kittens, and left the room.