After Cal took the boys out Gillian went to have a bath. There was something so deliciously delightful about being able to soak in the bath for as long as she wanted without having someone come to interrupt. Cal was pretty good at running interference but eventually even he couldn't keep the boys out of the bathroom to give Gillian a sense of not being rushed. So today she loaded the bath up with bubbles and milk and slid beneath the surface with a groan of delight. She had banished all bath toys except the yellow rubber duck to the basket stuck to the wall with suction caps. Those little buggers better hold too; she didn't want to have a heart attack. The duck was currently lost in the forest of bubbles and it was more for nostalgia than any sense of entertainment.

When the water was noticeably cool and the bubbles had dissipated, Gillian got out again. She smoothed body lotion over every inch of her toned skin, standing naked in her bedroom; another perk of being home alone. No one was going to barge on in and then complain she had no clothes on. Or try to cop a feel. Not that she minded that second one too much; at least she knew her husband was still interested in her. She might actually fall down with shock the day he walked in, saw her naked, and didn't ogle or make a leering comment or bee line for a kiss. Actually, the day that that happened would scare the shit out of Gillian.

She dressed casually and comfortably and headed downstairs in her bare feet. The carpet was soft and clean, because she had vacuumed yesterday, in preparation for doing nothing significant today, while the boys were at the air show. This was her day to herself, which she got once a month now. The kitchen still smelt like toast from breakfast that morning and it was a brilliant day so Gillian opened some windows. And then she couldn't help herself and cleaned the kitchen properly, getting into all the corners and gaps that a quick wipe down would often miss. She was pretty satisfied with that and put the cloth down before she decided to do the other side of the breakfast bar or the pantry, or worse, the fridge.

Gillian checked her phone and saw a text. She smirked, thinking it was Cal, but when she opened the message it was actually from Kiera. She was in town. Gillian text her back immediately, inviting her to come over for a coffee. She didn't actually have specific plans until the afternoon and had planned to kill a few hours lying on the couch or maybe sitting outside in the sun, leafing through a magazine or two. Maybe having a nap. Seeing an old friend counted though. Kiera text back she would head over so Gillian tided up the house a bit more.

PJ

"Hi," Gillian answered the door enthusiastically. She hardly ever got to see Kiera anymore. They weren't exactly close. Not after what happened with Lily. But they had still kept in touch intermittently over the years.

"Hi," Kiera responded. Her hair was dyed lighter than the last time Gillian had seen her, which must have been more than six months ago but probably not a year. Otherwise she looked the same. Gillian ushered her inside and they headed to the kitchen where Gillian made coffee and offered cookies Lewis had baked. "Where are the boys?" Kiera asked, looking around. "You're alone?"

"I am," Gillian agreed with a slight smile. "Cal took them to the air show out at Andrews."

"Oh cool," Kiera noted. Gillian asked where she wanted to sit and the younger woman opted for the dining room table, which was still in the sun, but inside. She told Gillian what she had been up to recently and Gillian talked briefly about her own work, about heading back to practice. "Wow that's a big change."

"Not so much," Gillian gave a half shrug.

"You practiced before right?"

"Yeah," Gillian agreed.

"So not such a big change for you. But for Cal?"

Gillian gave a rueful smile. "Yeah Cal is... struggling with the idea. But it's not so different from when I was home with the boys when they were babies." He just didn't like to share.

"He'll get used to it," Kiera supplied. Gillian asked after her own work and Kiera answered that it was fine. There was nothing interesting going on to report. She was working towards a promotion so was busy. The details were boring anyway. "How are the boys?" She asked instead.

"Good," Gillian responded. "You know Owen's in school now?'

"How's he finding it?"

"I think he's a bit of a trouble maker. He doesn't tend to listen when he should be," Gillian responded with a slight smile. "But he's made friends with just about everyone."

Kiera smiled. "That's cool."

Gillian changed the subject to talk about Kiera again but she brushed off the questions once more and switched the subject back to Gillian's children. And finally Gillian took the hint. Kiera didn't come to talk about herself, she came to talk about the boys. Or something along those lines. So Gillian drank her coffee and ate a cookie and waited. She could let the other woman direct the conversation. She didn't mind. Emily showed up for a bit of free advice sometimes too.

"Lewis made these?" Kiera asked.

"Yeah," Gillian smiled again. "He has a real sweet tooth. Cal figures if he wants to indulge it then should be active in doing so and seeing as he can't work and pay for cookies he can make them. Once a week."

"Are we eating his ration?" Kiera asked lightly, amused.

"Probably," Gillian noted. "He doesn't mind sharing though."

"Lewis is a sweet kid."

"He is," Gillian agreed. But then it was easy to do so. Lewis was a sweet kid and Owen was kind and caring in his own way too. He might not always pick up on the subtleties his older brother did, but when he realised someone needed a hug he was right there with plenty to spare.

"Devon wants to have kids," Kiera blurted into the silence. She brought her eyes up to Gillian's, checking her reaction.

Gillian gave a slow smile, not quite sure what to say yet, or why it was a big deal. Well she suspected she knew why it was a big deal but she wasn't going to make an assumption based on something that had happened a long time ago. Lily had happened such a long time ago now. "Now? Or after you get married?"

"After we're married. But, I mean he said he wanted kids before, when we were dating, but now it's all of a sudden after we're married."

Gillian nodded to show she was listening. "He has a plan?"

"I'm not sure he's got a specific plan with dates included... But he said to me the other day 'after we get married we'll start having kids'."

"What did you say?"

"I think I kind of agreed," Kiera gave her a helpless expression. "I didn't know what else to say. He caught me off guard."

"But you don't want to have kids straight after getting married?"

"I think he thinks we're running out of time."

Gillian gave a little frown of disbelief. "Because he's thirty-five?" Which was two years older than Kiera was.

Kiera gave a slight eye roll. "He worries he's getting old."

Gillian gave a slight laugh. If Devon worried about getting old at thirty-five then he'd have a fit once he reached Cal's age. Cal grumbled about his age now he was approaching sixty.

"Actually he worries about having kids when he's too old." She stopped suddenly and looked to Gillian appalled. "Sorry. I didn't mean it that way."

Gillian waved a hand in dismissal. "Don't worry about it. I would have had kids at your age too if it was possible. Nor did Cal and I really plan on having kids in our forties and fifties. At this point, I'm just extremely grateful to even have them at all."

Kiera gave a nod.

"Do you want kids?" Gillian asked softly.

"Well," Kiera hesitated. "I'm not sure. There's just so much... there are so many things I think about."

"Like what?" Gillian prompted gently.

"I wonder if I'm ready." She paused. "I'm not thirty yet."

"Age is just a number," Gillian pointed out. "If you let it be." She was fifty-four but still felt like she was in her late forties. Cal also grumbled that she was aging better than he was and she had no explanation for that, than that she felt younger than she really was. Cal felt younger than he really was too but he was also aware that he was approaching a mile stone.

"I wasn't ready to be a mother to Lily..." Kiera started.

"And that was a long time ago," Gillian quickly cut in. "A lot of things have changed since then. You're older, for one," she conceded. "But you're also more mature. You have more life experience. You have a career and a stable job. You're engaged and you've bought a home. Life is different than it was back then," Gillian added firmly.

Kiera gave a nod, picked her fingernail against a groove of her coffee mug. "Yeah. I know."

"But if you're not ready Kiera then you need to tell Devon that. You shouldn't get into doing something you don't want to do, that you know in your heart isn't the right thing to do for yourself."

"I'm not sure what's right."

"So wait a little. You don't have to make a decision right now. Get married and see how you feel. Just because you put the ring on your finger doesn't mean everything has to change."

Kiera nodded to that too, listening. She seemed to say 'go on'.

"Maybe waiting until after your promotion would be a good idea? Then you'll be settled in a new position. You'll have something definite to go back to. If you choose to go back to work afterwards."

There was a silence.

"Devon would be all right with that wouldn't he?" Gillian pressed. "You guys talk about that kind of thing?"

"Yeah well we talk about things. Maybe not the details," Kiera admitted.

"Maybe you need to. Maybe you need more information before you can make a decision." Because Gillian knew one thing about Kiera in particular, and it was that she didn't make her decisions lightly. She thought about them very carefully and saw all the evidence before making her mind up.

"How long have you and Cal been married?"

"Uh, twelve years," Gillian was slightly startled about the subject change. But they had been together fifteen. And they had known each other for twenty-three. Still not half of either of their lives yet. But getting there!

"Do you get... bored? I'm sorry if this is too personal."

"It's fine," Gillian responded. Emily asked about her marriage too. And Ria had too before her husband had died. Apparently it was a source of fascination, the Lightman's marriage. Although, when Gillian thought about it, she and Cal really did have an interesting story. Why wouldn't people want to know about it? She wasn't going to impart some incredibly personal information, but she didn't mind talking about what made their marriage work and how they got over their problems. The most recent of which was her father's death over a year ago now.

"I'm lucky," Gillian started. "Because Cal is my best friend so no, I don't get bored with him. I find him interesting," she gave a slight smile. "And I'm in love with him so I want to be around him all the time. But we make sure we keep our lives interesting. Hence a day like today. He takes the boys out of the house for most of the day to give me space and I do the same for him and one weekend once a month we try to palm the boys off onto someone else so we can have time alone." Which wasn't always with the intention to just have sex, but more often than not that did happen.

Kiera nodded. "Devon and I are usually on the same page about a lot of things and I worry that we'll get bored."

"So make sure you don't. The best advice I can give you is to be actively engaged in your marriage. Don't fall asleep at the wheel. Keep track of how often you do something out of the ordinary for him. Every so often Cal buys me flowers. He never buys me flowers, not on anniversaries or mother's day or my birthday. So when he does, when he goes out of his way to surprise me it's extra special. Because he made an effort to go do that. For me."

"You're not pissed off he doesn't bring you flowers on your anniversary?"

"Flower's aren't Cal's style," Gillian added with a slight laugh. "So I don't mind that I don't get them all the time and I know when I do get them, it really means something. He doesn't forget those dates, and it's not like he doesn't do something else to mark the occasion..." She gave a shrug to say it was no big deal. "When he buys flowers I know he's been thinking of me and he's trying to show me he loves me."

"Right," Kiera said dubiously.

Perhaps the flowers weren't a good example. It was too common. But Gillian wasn't going to reveal the discussions Gillian and Cal had had about their sex life. Sex didn't equal a good marriage and a good marriage didn't equal good sex, but the two had a positive correlation. When they didn't have sex for a while they lost some of their magic, their connectivity.

"Let's put it this way. If I got flowers every anniversary I would come to expect them and they would lose their meaning. There is such a thing as over kill. Everything is better in its moderation."

Except sex. Could never get enough of that.

"Devon loves it when I make apricot pie. He says I make it a special way that's better than he's ever tasted anywhere else. That's silly right? Food?" She almost rolled her eyes. Gillian was starting to suspect this conversation might be a case of cold feet, not necessarily a fear of having children.

"That takes quite a bit of effort," Gillian noted. "To make a pie. From scratch?"

Kiera nodded. "So I don't do it very often," she admitted.

"But when you do, he must be pretty happy."

"Yeah," Kiera admitted almost shyly.

"So he knows it's a big deal when you do it."

"Yeah I guess," Kiera agreed. "So you're saying I shouldn't make it on our anniversary? Or his birthday?"

"No I'm not saying that. I'm saying, what if you went home today and made one from scratch to surprise him when he got home? He'd be really surprised right?"

"Yeah," Kiera confirmed.

"Because he would expect it on his birthday. But would be getting a bonus, a surprise, an extra effort."

"Oh I see," Kiera suddenly clicked. "What if he doesn't do that kind of thing for me?"

Gillian had had her fair share of those kinds of relationships. Actually, most of them had been like that. She thought of Alec in particular. One sided. Until she met Cal. Or well, to be fair, he was the same too, when they had first met. He had been mostly selfish and focussed on his own life but eventually he had come around. It just went to show, that treating people how she wanted to be treated had actually worked out in Gillian's favour. Because now she had Cal. Who would go out of his way to get her favourite flowers from the only store in the entire Maryland, DC, Virginia area, because they often arranged them in a way she liked, which was miles out of his way, because he knew she liked them so much. That was making an effort for someone else's sake. And then there were the billion other things he did for her, some of them big gestures, most of them small, some of them noticed, most of them completely unacknowledged.

"Well," Gillian answered. "It can go two ways. You can sit to the sidelines and hope he notices you. Or you can get up and talk to him."

And Gillian had done both with Cal. She had wanted him to notice her as an equal, his business partner, and it turned out when he did, he fell in love with her. Which was amazing and she'd had no idea until she was suddenly free of her first husband and realised that maybe she hadn't entirely seen Cal either. And that was how she had fallen in love with him. Really fallen. And now they talked about things directly that were bothering them because neither wanted to lose the other and neither wanted their marriage to fall apart like their first ones had.

"You and Devon talk right?" Gillian pressed gently. Not that she really wanted to pry, or tell Kiera how her relationship should be going. Gillian had realised a long time ago that what she had with Cal was special. It was a one in a million kind of marriage, friendship, connection, and just because whatever it was that worked for them worked, probably a combination of so many things, that didn't mean those same things would work for someone else.

"Yeah we talk," Kiera agreed.

"So you could talk to him about this too. About having kids and what your goals for your lives together are. You don't have to do everything he wants but you shouldn't always get your way. It's a compromise and it's important to also be flexible. I wanted to go to Italy for our honeymoon but it wasn't really possible with everything we had going on so we compromised on the Caribbean." She pronounced it carry-bee-an whereas Cal said car-rib-bee-an, which made her giggle. Not because he sounded funny saying it, but because it was the same word said so differently.

"We both compromised," Gillian went on. "Cal hates the sun, I love the beach. I wanted Italy, Cal didn't want to spend his honeymoon sightseeing." Gillian gave a shrug. "But I don't regret it, and that's important too. Because it could lead to resentment. Though at the time I did figure we would save up and go some other time. That was before we had children," Gillian mused. "And now our plans have changed even more. I'd still like to get to Italy. But maybe when the boys leave home instead." She gave a shrug. "Who knows?"

Kiera nodded as she listened, thoughtful but attentive.

Gillian finished her coffee, which was cold now, and stood to clear Kiera's empty mug too, and the dirty plate. She didn't mind talking with the young woman but she also had somewhere to be. She had plans for this afternoon and bigger ones to surprise Cal when he got home later in the evening. Kiera took the hint though. She stood and slung her purse over her shoulder again, following Gillian to the kitchen. "Thanks for listening," Kiera started.

Gillian gave her a smile as she turned towards her. "Of course. Any time."

"And I'm sorry to crash on your day off."

"No big deal," Gillian's smile went wider. "I would have just ignored your message if I didn't want to see you!"

Kiera laughed and they headed for the door. "I'm glad Lily didn't stop you from having more kids."

Gillian stood on the stoop in her bare feet. This part of the house was in shade and the concrete was cold against her skin. "We didn't get a lot of choice when it came to Owen," Gillian reminded her with a content smile. "I just wouldn't want Lily to stop you from having more kids." She put her hand on Kiera's arm and gave it a squeeze, then backed off again.

Kiera gave her a slight smile. "I'll try not to. I do want to have kids."

Gillian gave a nod and a smile, watching a car go by slowly. She half thought it might be Cal and was actually disappointed when it wasn't. She was such a sucker for him.

"Well, enjoy the rest of your day," Kiera added.

"Thanks," Gillian smiled at her. "You have a good weekend." Kiera said she would and headed down to her car parked on the street. Gillian gave her a wave and headed inside again. She felt a pang of nerves. It was time for her to get ready to go out. She had an appointment at a tattoo parlour. It had been a spontaneous decision but one she was still excited about. She couldn't wait to show Cal. He would have a fit.