Chapter 23
Then:
Walt looks at me and then at Roy, waiting for his order. Roy glances over his shoulder at me briefly before shaking his head. "She'll squeal on us. Kill her first."
"NO-!" Dean shouts as he launches up and off the bed, but Walt pulls the trigger. The sound is muffled as fire blossoms in my chest. My head hits the arm of the couch, but that pain is dull compared to the searing agony in my chest.
Sam screams my name, but I can't bring my limbs to respond even as I hear another muffled gunshot. The pain dissolves into unnerving numbness, and I can't feel my face or my hands or my feet, aside from a bizarre icy feeling spreading through every pore of my body.
Then thankfully, blessedly, darkness takes over.
Now:
The room I open my eyes to is white and sterile, reminding me of a hospital. A dark-skinned angel - well, what else can he be? - approaches me, bronze wings rustling behind him, and I'm frozen in fear. Wait, why can I see his wings?
"Well?" he asks, his voice rumbling quietly, "Are you coming or not, Ariel?" I nod dumbly and stumble after him as he leads me through the white room and past several empty beds. Something in the back of my mind whispers "Raphael" and my blood freezes in my veins.
"Raphael?" I ask tentatively, but the angel - no, archangel - doesn't respond, walking over to the bed at the end of the room, where another angel lies. His golden wings are stretched awkwardly to either side of him, one wing crooked. He looks familiar and I don't need the voice in the back of my head to tell me who it is. "Gabriel!"
Gabriel looks up to acknowledge us. "Ariel!" He smiles widely and sits up, but winces as his crooked wing is jostled in the process.
"I told you not to move, brother," Raphael scolds mildly, "You should have known better than to taunt a Tyrannosaurus Rex."
"You did what?" I demand, my eyebrows shooting up as I completely forget about asking about what's going on.
"Uhh, oops?" Gabriel grins sheepishly. "Come on, Raph, it was just a little bit of fun."
"You broke your wing," Raphael points out and Gabriel wrinkles his nose.
"Spoilsport."
"What's going on?" I ask plaintively, but neither archangel answers. "Gabriel, where are we?" He doesn't even look at me and my stomach twists slightly in apprehension. Why can they only hear me part of the time?
Something shiny brushes just past my range of vision and I whirl around in time to see a few gray feathers behind me.
"Oh, God." I grab for the feathers, yanking the feathers out in front of me and ignoring the pain that results from my rough handling. The wing is silver, flashing brightly in the dim light of the room with each movement and looking absolutely beautiful. The shimmering gray feathers feel like silk against my fingers. Another wing curves around the other side of my back.
My wings. These are my wings. But why are they here if I'm still human?
"Ariel." Raphael's deep voice snaps me out of my revelation and I drop the wing in my hand, startled. "What would you recommend as a healing balm?"
"A what?" I want to say, but instead, the voice in the back of my mind decides to take over, my mouth moving without my permission. "Arnica, comfrey, and turmeric."
"Wait a second, you're letting the novice treat me?" Gabriel whines.
"It serves you right for getting into this mess in the first place," Raphael scolds even as he nods to me and moves around the room to collect the ingredients, "And besides, she'll never learn if she doesn't practice. Be patient with her."
"Yes, Gabriel, be patient with me," the voice that isn't mine teases and Gabriel takes an absent swing at me with one arm.
"Brat," he says affectionately.
I think I'm starting to understand what's happening. "This is a memory," I say, but Gabriel and Raphael ignore me. "This is one of my old memories." So then why am I reliving it now?
Raphael brings over a bowl filled with the three herbs, crushed into a paste. "Hold out your wing." Gabriel holds it out, grimacing, and Raphael hands me the bowl. Getting the hint, I carefully take some of the paste and spread it over the broken joint of Gabriel's wing. He winces, but allows me to continue until the top of his wing is covered in a thin layer of green paste.
"It's feeling better," he notes when I pull my hand away, smiling gratefully at me. "Thanks."
"You see, sister?" I look up at Raphael, surprised. "You're a natural healer. Soon enough, you'll be better than me."
"I don't doubt it," a new voice says even as two strangers enter. I know the one with pure white wings - that's Michael. But the angel who had spoken, the one with dazzlingly bright diamond-like wings...
"Hey, Luce," Gabriel says cheerfully, "Come to admire our baby sister's handiwork?"
I can feel my face heating up. "It's just a couple of herbs," I mumble.
"Nonsense," Lucifer says, inspecting Gabriel's wing to make sure the break is healing. "I told you from the start you had talent, Ariel. All you had to do was practice a little."
"For a beginner, it's not a bad job," Michael agrees, hanging back a little from the crowd surrounding the bed, and Gabriel rolls his eyes.
"Get over here already, Michael, before you ruin the moment." With a tentative smile, Michael joins us, slinging an arm around my shoulders. I lean into the embrace, even though I can't take my eyes off the shimmering wings of the Morningstar. No wonder everyone had loved Lucifer in Heaven; he holds himself with such dignity and charisma, it's easy to forget that he's currently Satan.
I look around at the other archangels - Gabriel beaming widely, Raphael nodding proudly, and Michael smiling faintly - and realize I'm looking at my family for the first time that I can remember.
"What's the matter?" Gabriel raises an eyebrow at me and I swallow back the sudden lump in my throat.
"Nothing." Lucifer's watching me with concern, as are Michael and Raphael, and I manage a smile as I shake my head. "I'm just glad we're all here."
Everyone relaxes as Lucifer smiles warmly. "As are we, sister." He turns to Gabriel. "So go on, Gabriel. Tell us about this dinosaur that got the better of you." Gabriel laughs and launches into the story enthusiastically. Michael and Raphael crowd around the bed, both eager to hear the story, and I hang back, trying to sort out my thoughts.
"Having fun?" I whirl around to see an unpleasantly familiar bald man standing behind me, hands in his pockets.
"Zachariah." I scowl, crossing my arms.
"Glad to see you remember me." He glances over my shoulder. "I have to say, I don't think I've ever seen our elder brothers this happy before. No wonder this was your best memory."
"My best...?" Then I remember the gunshot. "Am I dead?"
"Yep." Zachariah pops the 'p,' and I can feel my stomach sinking in dread. "Oh, don't worry, everything will be taken care of. Paperwork and all that jazz. All you have to do is stay here."
"Stay here?" I echo.
"Absolutely. Just stay in your own personal Heaven like a good little girl and we'll do the rest."
I glance back at the archangels - my brothers - before looking at Zachariah. "What's the catch?"
"No catch." He smiles. "Consider it compensation for all the trouble we've caused you."
"You must want something from me, or you wouldn't have bothered making a Heaven for me," I point out.
"This is what we want from you, Ariel. We want you to stay here."
"You want me to stay dead," I realize, but I can't do that. I still have to find the real Gabriel and apologize to him about our fight. Does he even know I'm dead? "Where are the Winchesters?" I demand.
"In their own Heavens, safe and sound." Zachariah falters, though, and I have my real answer.
"You're lying." I take a step back and my back hits the door even as Zachariah's expression darkens.
"Now you listen here, child. You may have once been a great archangel, but now you're powerless, you're helpless, and you are on our turf. So you do as I say, and no one gets hurt," he snarls.
"Yeah, fuck that." I fumble for the doorknob and the door clicks open. I race outside into the forest that lies beyond.
My wings are gone now, having vanished the instant I had left the infirmary and my memory behind, and I can't help but miss them already. Darting between trees and ducking under low-hanging branches, I admit that I could have thought my escape through a little better.
"You think you can run from us in our own backyard?" Zachariah calls after me mockingly, "Oh, little Ariel, you have so much to learn."
I stop to catch my breath near a small stream, but I can't stay long as I hear the crunch of leaves beneath suit shoes behind me. I hop over the stream before starting to run again - and promptly slamming into a thin man wearing a golden cape and a colorful mask that looks like a box of crayons threw up on it. I topple backwards onto the ground, as does the man.
"Oww," I groan.
"Oh, jeez, I'm so sorry," the man apologizes, scrambling to his feet and helping me up. "Are you Ariel?"
I squint at him. "Maybe...?"
"Relax, I'm a friend of Sam and Dean's. I can take you to 'em." The man tugs me along and I can't help but follow. "Name's Ash."
"Ash?" I remember him from the second season of Supernatural: a wiry computer genius with a mullet. "I've heard of you."
"Have you?" Ash looks over his shoulder at me with a grin. "Sweet." He pulls out a piece of chalk and scribbles some symbols onto a wooden door before throwing it open. "C'mon." He yanks me through and shuts it before clapping his hands once. The lights flicker on and before I can register where I am, I'm lifted off the ground and crushed to within an inch of my...well, afterlife.
"Ariel!"
"Ugh, again with the bear hugs," I groan, patting Sam's back affectionately. "Hey, BFG."
"Roald Dahl?" Sam draws back long enough to give me a disapproving glare. "That's original."
"Oh, shut up and hug me again." He obeys and I squeeze his shoulders tightly. Now that the shock's worn off, I can see that we're in a bar of some sort.
"That's nice, ignore the handsome one for the giant," Dean teases and I roll my eyes as I look over Sam's shoulder to see him sitting at the bar with a pretty dark-haired woman with warm brown eyes.
"You mean the conceited one."
The woman snorts as Dean protests, "Hey!" Sam laughs as he sets me down, letting me hop up onto a bar stool on Dean's other side.
"Name's Pamela." The woman holds out her hand and I shake it.
"The psychic, right? I've heard of you." I remember her from Season Four.
"You hear of a lot of people?" Ash asks as he grabs a can of beer from the fridge, raising an eyebrow at me. His cape and mask have been discarded, so now I can see he's in a sleeveless black shirt and torn jeans. His mullet is intact, too.
"Some," I admit, embarrassed, before turning to Dean. "So where'd you and Sam end up?"
"In our own Heavens. We had to find each other before Zachariah showed up and-"
"He found you, too?" I interrupt, frowning.
"Yeah, that's how Ash got to us." Dean blinks. "Where'd he find you?"
"In my Heaven." I don't want to tell Dean and Sam about the memory. It seems personal and I doubt bringing up Lucifer would win me any points with the Winchesters. "He tried to get me to stay dead."
"Screw that. We're getting out of here as soon as we find a way to the Garden."
"The Garden?" I echo and Sam nods as he joins Ash at a table with a laptop.
"Yeah, Cas contacted us. He said we needed to find an angel named Joshua and ask him about God, and Joshua can be found in the Garden. Oh, and he also said to tell you that Gabriel's freaking out." I can't help but smile, even though that only strengthens my resolve to get back to Earth. "We're on the verge of finding a shortcut to the Garden," Sam adds.
"Forget 'on the verge,' we found it." Ash taps a few keys before turning the computer to face Sam. He gives Pamela a thumbs-up and she chuckles as she returns it. Ash gets up and pulls out his chalk again, drawing a few sigils on the door. "All access pass to the Magic Kingdom."
"Good." Dean gets up even as Ash gives him a look. "Not good?" Dean guesses.
"That Zachary fella's going to be watching every road to the Garden," Ash warns us. Sam hugs Pamela tightly in farewell.
"Watch your ass," she tells him fondly and looks at Dean, "And Dean." Dean moves to hug Pamela, too, but she has other plans. She yanks him down into a long kiss. Sam looks at me, wide-eyed, and we both choose to look away, coughing awkwardly. "Yep. Just how I imagined," Pamela says cheerfully when they finally break apart.
"Ah, gentlemen, little lady." Ash pretends to tip an imaginary hat. "I don't mean to be a downer or anything but…I'm sure I'll see you again soon."
Dean winks at Pamela, who grins, before looking back at Ash. "Well, keep a sixer on ice for us."
"Thanks for everything," I add as Sam opens the door to blinding white light. Bracing ourselves, we walk through the door.
When I look around, Sam and Dean aren't there, and I'm back in Heaven's infirmary, except that it's now dark and empty.
"You are tap-dancing on my last good nerve," Zachariah says coldly and I wheel around to face him, "We have offered you everything Heaven has, and yet you still choose to get in our way. Why?"
I have a different question to ask. "Where's my Grace?"
Zachariah snorts. "Your Grace? Why, it's with our esteemed eldest brother, of course."
"I want to talk to him."
"Michael has better things to do than talk to you. Like, oh, I don't know...prepare for the Apocalypse!" I flinch at the sudden rise in volume even as Zachariah clears his throat and straightens the lapels of his jacket. "Now be a good little girl and stay put while I go make nice with your friends, the Winchesters."
"You stay away from them!" I step towards him, but he disappears. I try the door, but the handle rattles; it's locked. "Let me out!" I slam on the door. "Help! Someone help me!"
"It's no use shouting, no one's there." I spin around to see a dark-skinned man calmly surveying me. He doesn't look like Raphael or any other angel I know. "My name is Joshua. I believe you and your friends were looking for me?" I nod dumbly and Joshua holds out his hand. Hesitating for a moment, I reach out and take it.
In the next second, we're in a large green meadow, which echoes with the rustling of leaves in the wind. Trees dot the expanse of green, some covered in apples.
"Is this the Garden?" I ask, spinning around to take a look at my surroundings. There's a small pond at the edge of my feet.
"Yes. Many people see it differently. For you, I believe it is Eden, as it was when you were younger." I look up at Joshua, whose eyes crinkle in a kind smile. "I'm afraid I must leave you now to find your friends."
"That's okay, just...can I see what's happening on Earth? With Castiel and Gabriel?"
"Of course." Joshua kneels down and touches the pond's surface with one finger before disappearing. I watch as the water ripples before being replaced with an image of the motel room Sam, Dean, and I had been in.
Castiel paces the length of the room repeatedly, sending nervous glances at Sam and Dean's limp bodies on the bed while Gabriel sits on the floor, cradling my body in his arms and stroking my hair absently.
"It shouldn't take this long," he croaks hoarsely, looking up at Castiel.
"The Garden is difficult to reach, especially with all of Heaven searching for them," Castiel says quietly, looking out the window.
"And if they don't reach it at all?" Gabriel points out worriedly.
"They will." Castiel's expression softens as he looks down at my body. "She'll return to us, Gabriel."
"She'd better, the stupid kid," Gabriel mutters half-heartedly and leans down to kiss my forehead tenderly. I can feel tears stinging my eyes as the image dissipates, leaving only clear water, and wipe my face quickly as the rustle of wings signals Joshua's return.
"Hey, Air." Sam smiles tiredly at me and wraps an arm around my shoulders. He and Dean look like they've seen something awful, but I don't call them out on it as they look around. "This is Heaven's Garden?"
"It's...nice-ish, I guess," Dean says awkwardly.
"You see what you want to here. For some it's God's throne room. For others, like Ariel, it's Eden. You two, I believe it's the Cleveland Botanical Gardens. You came here on a field trip." I don't see any Botanical Gardens, but I guess Sam and Dean do, because recognition dawns on their faces.
"You're Joshua," Sam says, "So you talk to God?"
"Well, He talks to me mostly." Joshua shrugs.
"Well, we need to speak to Him. It's important. Where is He?" Dean demands.
"On Earth."
"Earth?" I echo, "You mean He's been down there all this time?" Joshua nods.
"Do you know where on Earth?" Sam prompts.
"No, sorry. We don't exactly speak face-to-face," Joshua admits.
"I don't get it," Dean says, "God's not talking to nobody, so-"
"-why's He talking to me?" Joshua finishes with a wry smile. "I sometimes think it's because I can sympathize - gardener to gardener - and, between us, I think He gets lonely."
"My heart's breakin' for Him," Dean deadpans.
"Can you at least get Him a message for us?" Sam cuts in.
"Actually, He has a message for you three: back off." The words freeze us all.
"What?" Dean asks blankly.
"He knows already. Everything you want to tell Him." Of course he does. "He knows what the angels are doing. He knows that the Apocalypse has begun. He just doesn't think it's His problem."
"Not His...? It's the Apocalypse!" I protest.
"The hell does He mean it's not His problem?" Dean adds angrily.
"God saved you already," Joshua says sternly, "He put you on that plane. He brought back Castiel. He contacted Gabriel and told him to bring Ariel home. He granted you salvation in Heaven, and after everything you've done, too. It's more than He's intervened in a long time. He's finished. Magic amulet or not, you won't be able to find Him."
The words are like a slap to the face. "But He can stop all of it," I say weakly. "Why won't He step in?"
"Why does He allow evil in the first place? You could drive yourself nuts asking questions like that." Joshua sighs. "I know how important this was to you all. I'm sorry."
"Forget it," Dean says quietly, his voice cracking, "Just another dead-beat dad with a bunch of excuses. I'm used to that. I'll muddle through."
"Except you don't know if you can this time. You can't kill the Devil, and you're losing faith in yourself, your brother, and now this?" I just wish Joshua would stop talking. "God was your last hope. I wish I could tell you something different."
"How do we know you're telling the truth?" Sam pipes up suddenly.
Joshua's eyes narrow. "You think that I would lie?"
"Well, you're not the first angel we've met," Sam points out.
"I'm rooting for you boys! I wish I could do more to help you, I do! But..." Joshua holds his hands up helplessly and drops them again. "I just trim the hedges." He stands straight again. "So now you go home again. I'm afraid this time won't be like the last. This time, God wants you to remember." He holds up his hand.
"Wait. I have a few more questions," I say before he can send us away again. Sam and Dean look at me. "It's okay, I'll see you guys soon," I tell them and Joshua waves his hand. They disappear.
"You want to know why God wanted you here," Joshua notes and I nod. "Isn't it obvious? He wanted His little girl to be reunited with her family."
"Some family," I mutter, kicking at the grass near my feet, "I mean, no offense, but most other families don't kill each other just because Daddy supposedly commands it."
"True. But that's our lot in life, I suppose." Joshua inclines his head. "And you wanted to ask about your Grace."
"Is there any way of getting it back?" I ask.
"Well, that'd be up to Michael. I doubt you'd be able to reason with him, though."
"Oh." I grimace. "Okay, that's all. Thanks for helping."
"I really am sorry, Ariel," Joshua says quietly, "I wish I could tell you otherwise, but-"
"No, just...just send me back." Joshua raises his hand, looking guilty, and waves it once more. White light blinds me and I shut my eyes against it.
Silence first greets me. Then comes a cacophony of noise, as if two voices are speaking on top of each other at the loudest volume possible.
I open my eyes warily and find myself in the middle of what seems like a shouting match. Gabriel's kneeling on the floor, cradling me in his arms, while Castiel stands against the window, his face drawn with worry. Sam and Dean are both standing beside him, wearing clean shirts. I can feel the wet stickiness of my blood against my chest, but only the echo of pain remains where blinding agony had been before.
"She was still talking to Joshua when we left!" Dean snaps.
"She should've woken up by now!" Gabriel yells back and I wince at the assault on my eardrums.
Sam notices I'm awake first and clears his throat. "Uh, Gabriel, calm down-"
"Don't you tell me to calm down, Winchester, Ariel's dead!" Gabriel glowers at him and I'm starting to see the archangel in him more clearly than ever. "And for all I know, she's being screwed over by Zachariah and-!"
"Gabriel!" Castiel says loudly.
"What?" Castiel points at me and Gabriel looks down. I blink back up at him, grinning. "Oh," he says dumbly, "You're not dead."
"Idiot," I laugh weakly, ignoring the dull ache in my chest as I lean up to wrap my arms around his neck. He clutches me back tightly, burying his face into my hair and hugging me so hard that I'm scared my bones will break. "I'm so sorry," I mumble against his shoulder.
"Shut up," he says quietly against the top of my head and squeezes me impossibly closer as his voice trembles. "Just shut up." All I can do is nod into his shoulder and he tightens his grip briefly before letting go at last, swiping his sleeve across his eyes before helping me to my feet. He keeps a hand on my shoulder even after I'm upright. The mess of blood on my clothes is gone, and I suspect he vanished it when I wasn't paying attention.
"So what did Joshua have to say?" Castiel asks at last, focusing on Dean and Sam, who look at each other reluctantly.
"God said to back off," I cut in, knowing neither of them want to say it. Castiel's eyes widen as he turns to me.
"W-What?"
"That's what Joshua told us."
Castiel leans heavily on the divider in the motel room. "Maybe...maybe Joshua was lying."
Sam shakes his head as he gets to his feet, picking up his duffel bag. It's packed already - we'd gotten ready to leave the previous night so that we could just get up and go in the morning. "I don't think he was, Cas. I'm sorry."
Gabriel sighs. "I told you from the start, kiddo, Dad didn't want to get involved in this mess."
Castiel doesn't seem to be listening as he moves away from the divider, towards the door, and pauses, his eyes on the ceiling. "You son of a bitch." His tone is low and desperate. "I believed in..." His voice cracks and he shuts his eyes before turning to Dean, pulling something out of his pocket. "I don't need this anymore. It's worthless." He tosses it at Dean, who catches it.
It's the God-seeking amulet, the one Sam had given to Dean years ago. The implication behind it - that Castiel had lost hope - is like a punch to the stomach, and I swallow back the lump in my throat.
Castiel turns away again even as I say, "Cas, wait-" He's gone in the next instant.
"Castiel!" Gabriel calls, but Castiel doesn't return.
"We'll find another way," Sam decides, but he sounds shaken. "We can still stop all this-"
"How?" Dean cuts across him, his voice hollow.
"I don't know, but we'll find it."
Dean doesn't look at him as he slings his duffel bag over his shoulder. He walks to the door and, waiting for Sam to see, drops the amulet into the trash can before leaving the motel room. I don't want to look at Sam's face, but I get a glimpse of it, anyway, as he follows Dean. He looks wounded, as if he's been stabbed in the back, and the lump in my throat grows more painful.
I wait for Sam to leave the motel room before going to the trash can and pulling out the amulet, tucking it into my pocket. I'll return it to them eventually.
"Home?" Gabriel suggests quietly and I nod.
"Home." I should be relieved when we land in the living room of Gabriel's house, Cola barking happily and jumping up to greet me, but there's a hollow emptiness in my chest that just won't go away.
Not to mention I have a few questions for Gabriel, now that I've seen Heaven for the first time.
So I lied, I finished this chapter early because this episode, guys. So many feels. I assume you guys have questions that'll probably be answered in the next chapter. We'll have to see.
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