Cal kissed his wife's mouth warmly and it was nice. He wasn't complaining or anything. And she was paying attention, not acting like she was bored. She wasn't distracted. She was focussed and Cal was excited, since the doc had put him on to those herbal tablets he'd been... impressively enthusiastic and everything but... He pulled away. He was distracted. Gillian lifted herself from the bed to continue pressing kisses against the curve of his neck and along his shoulder and clavicle. It felt good. It did. He wasn't complaining about that. But there was something...

"Ok what?" Gillian murmured. She looked up at him, her eyes dark, turned on and lighting contributing.

"What?" Cal asked, startled.

"You're a million miles away. Did you think I wouldn't notice?" She gave him a kind of self-impressed smirk.

Cal pulled away a little more so he didn't have to hold himself up over her. Gillian let him go and dropped back to her pillow. He could see she was fighting to not let it bother her but he didn't really blame her. Him being distracted while they were fooling around was probably a very good indicator that something was wrong, with him or the both of them. And she was right. There was something that was bothering him. Cal leaned back on his elbow, next to her. "Are you?" He stopped. Wait, what was he asking?

Gillian raised an eyebrow in question, "Am I what?"

"Um," he hung his head a little. "I'm not sure."

Gillian gave a laugh and turned over on her side to face him. Her face was open and amused. "Try," she encouraged lightly.

"How long we been togetha?" Cal started. "Twenty years right?"

"Yes," Gillian agreed.

"You don't...?"

"Don't?"

"Get?"

"Get?" Gillian repeated, almost laughing again.

Cal hung his head again. "It's not gonna sound right howeva I say it."

"Ok, then just say it. I'll consider myself warned."

"Bored," he muttered. He looked up to meet her eye. She didn't look too surprised though he did see a slight widening of her eyes for a micro-second. He winced. "Not that I'm sayin' I'm bored but I just mean that..."

"We've been having sex for twenty years and you'd like to do something different?"

"Yes that. And I'm not sayin' you don't do it for me. Cos you do," he gave her a very pointed expression. He hoped she did know. He wasn't shy about showing her just how turned on he was.

Gillian gave a slight smile. "I know," she said, the smile turning to a grin.

Cal grinned back. Good. He relaxed a little.

"So you're," she gave a serious little frown. "Bored."

"Not bored."

"You're bored," Gillian repeated firmly. "Ok. Twenty years of sex is going to mean you're bored."

"Ugh," Cal groaned. "It sounds bad."

"No," Gillian laughed again and reached out a hand to his arm to keep him from rolling away from her. "Come on. This isn't the first time we've had this conversation. And every other time we have it's been fine."

"Yeah but it's..."

"Nope," Gillian cut him off. "It's fine. Talk to me about what you want to do differently."

Cal went quiet. "I don't actually..." The fantasy thing had worked quiet well for a while. And then of course there was sex in the office, which was really a fantasy of Cal's. That had been incredibly fun but not always practical. They were both getting older. Sex in bed was absolutely the most appealing right now. "I'm not talkin' about anythin' completely wild. That would have been a lot more practical when we were younga."

Gillian gave a slight eye roll. "That's very true."

"I haven't thought this through," Cal admitted.

"So let's think about it now," Gillian encouraged again. "What could possibly be fun? For both of us. That we haven't already done," it almost looked like she winked at him.

"You know one thing we haven't got into?" Cal started, the idea suddenly there, and he wondered if it had come to him that sneakily that maybe he had thought of it before, if not consciously, then maybe on some subconscious level.

"What's that?" Gillian's face remained open.

"Toys."

Gillian watched him, her face became more amused. "Toys? What kind of toys are you talking about?"

"Uh sex toys."

"Yes I figured that. But I meant... what kind of sex toys in particular?"

"Nothin' extreme. I'm not gonna ask you to tie me up and stick a leatha gag in my mouth, whip me and call me 'bitch'."

Gillian laughed loudly.

"But you know... somethin' tame?"

"Sure."

"Really?" Cal asked. "You'd be in to that?"

"Why do you get the impression I'm such a prude? We've been having sex together for twenty years."

"All right," Cal grumped. "Point taken." She might have put the kibosh on a few specific ideas, or more accurately, made clear her limitations, but she had never said 'no' to him. "What about startin' off with somethin' low key?"

"Sure," Gillian agreed readily.

"All right." Cal watched her for a moment. An idea sprung to mind and he gave a grin. "I'll go shoppin'."

"Do I get to come with you?"

"Nope," he gave a slight shake of his head. "I'm gonna..." He kept his tone purposefully light. "I'm gonna go explorin'," he mused. "See what I can find." He half expected her to suddenly warn him against something in particular but he shouldn't have been surprised by her silence. She trusted him. He knew what she was into and what she didn't like; he knew what she would absolutely deplore, what she might be a little resistant to but could cave on... They'd been sleeping together for twenty years. Bloody hell. That was how long they had been together now. Twenty years.

"What?" Gillian prompted. She waved a hand in his face obnoxiously. "What was that right there?"

Cal batted her hand away with a laugh and leaned in to kiss her again. "Shut it you," he warned with a growl.

"Make me," Gillian retorted.