All characters belong to Stephenie Meyers, and

Dollybigmomma wrote Emmett's point of view, which I know you all love. She's also my awesome beta, so give my girl some props!

Chapter 40 - Clean Up on Isle Mine

EDWARD

The place was a fucking mess. I mean completely destroyed. The goats had decided to take a bite out of everything. The only things that survived were locked in the trunks and jars. Even the fucking baskets Bella had worked so hard on had bites taken out of them. They had eaten all the herbs and much of the corn we'd harvested that Bella had sitting in a basket. They chew up the boxes left by Chauncey, spreading all sorts of goods all over the floor. I was pretty sure a goat had eaten some condoms, as I found an empty condom box and kicked it. It wasn't as if they'd worked for her, anyway.

Bella found something in the corner of the cave and started crying. She picked it up and then turned, shouting at the goats. "HOW COULD YOU! Of all the shit that bitch brought that you could've eaten, why this? WHY? Why the FUCKING TOILET PAPER!"

The goat she was yelling at just stood there, still focused on the roll in her hand. "YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!" she shouted at the goat, which didn't even flinch or look away from the roll. I think my girl was losing it. I hurried over and grabbed the goat by the horns, literally. "I'll put them in the corral, babe. You see what you can salvage." She slumped down, sobbing over the little toilet paper that was left. As I gathered the goats, I noticed several had splats of monkey shit on their backs. It must have been a warzone in here while we were gone. Oliver was still hanging from the ceiling, holding the plantains to him, occasionally screeching as the goats passed by him. He'd better not throw shit in my direction. I was so not in the mood.

Once I got the goats put away, I was able to truly assess the damage. We had a lot of cleaning up to do, but they were still expecting me back on the beach. I needed to check on my patient again.

I went to check on our rooms, but Sam had been successful with keeping the goats out, so at least we would have a place to crash at the end of this mess. "Good boy, Sam," I said rubbing his head. "I'm sorry we left you to look after them alone."

Jake made his way over to us, and Sam licked his sore, tear-stained cheek. Jake threw his arms around Sam, and Sam rested his head on Jake's shoulder, as if he was hugging him back. "Good dog, Sam. Thanks for looking after my family," I said petting him.

Jake curled up in my lap, as Bella started picking up things off the ground, sounding more and more frustrated as she went. I knew this was not a good time to leave her, but I knew they'd be looking for me to come back. "Bella, I need to go check on my patient."

She huffed and closed her eyes. "The half-dead guy?" she asked.

"Yeah, he's still touch and go. I shouldn't stay away from him for too long."

She nodded and surprised me by pulling me down to kiss her. I was so glad she understood. That was another reason I'd never had a social life. My job kept me busy at odd hours. I didn't mind using my work as an excuse to avoid people anyways, but now it was different. I actually had someone I wanted to be around and knew she'd miss me. I nuzzled into her neck, kissing her there as well.

"You have a lot of making up to do, young man," she said in a teasing, scolding tone as I pulled away.

"I promise, Ma'am, I'll make it up to you tenfold, scouts' honor," I said holding up my hand.

She just smirked, whacking my arm. "Fine, I'll be waiting, and expecting ten in my fold." She winked at me and walked off toward the back of the cave.

That girl would be the death of me.

BELLA

Goat shit was everywhere. I knew it was a great fertilizer, but I wasn't trying to grow anything on my kitchen floor. I took a large basket with several big bites taken out of the top of it and started scooping the crap into it. Jake was following me closely, making it difficult to work without stepping on him. Poor little guy had obviously been traumatized by that evil woman, making him clingy. I finally just put him back in the carrier and let him cuddle on my back. I didn't blame him for wanting to stay close to us. I felt horrible that she'd hurt my baby on my watch.

Once I had the goat crap cleaned up, I took it outside, dumping it by the garden. I figured Edward could spread it around where he thought it should be. I took a stiff broken branch with several twigs and used it like a broom, or I guess more like a rake, and raked everything into pile, so I could sort through it and put it away.

It was getting late, and I used what I could salvage to make dinner. As I worked, Polly came down next to me. I think she was thankful that some semblance of order had been restored. I gave Jake his dinner, but he didn't want to leave my side, so just for tonight, I let him snuggle with me on my bed as we waited for Edward's return.

EMMETT

"Blow, Blow, Blow the man down!" I was singing good and loud now. I'd bet they could hear me all the way to Cuba! Damn, that was a fucking good song, even if it did sound like something from a gay porno. Not that I'd ever watched a gay porno. My man pole was strictly against bein' stuck in the mud. "Hey, Cap'n Whatnot, whasa nes verz?" I asked as I tried to stand up. The boat seemed to be rocking a little more than earlier. Must be a storm brewing. Me and Captain Morgan had been tight all day, and things were getting a little fuzzy. Their singing had improved over the course of the day, though, so I must've been doing something right.

"Officer Cullen, you're inebriated, Sir!" a very serious-looking pair of Captains glared down at me. How had these bozos become so straight-laced all of a sudden? And why were there now two of them? Then they lifted the bottle we'd been sharing and drained it. Who knew getting wasted made our illustrious leader go sane? Or was it leaders? I think I remembered there only being one at one point. It was a good thing I'd bought three bottles. I was seriously thinking about keeping their asses juiced. "I think you should go lie down, Officer Cullen. You don't look so good."

They blended into one captain again for a minute, so I made my way over to him, stumbling to his side and wrapping my arm around his shoulder to steady myself.

"Wha happen to you? You werrrr so mush fun before, Cappy, why not now? Dontcha like me no more?" I pouted laying my head on his shoulder. He was being a spoilsport, not singing with me anymore.

"Officer Cullen, unhand me before I have to restrict you to your cabin!" Cappy shouted at me, and I wanted to cry. I hated when people shouted at me. I really hated being locked up, too. It made me scared. That was why Edward took the fall for me. He knew I'd cry and be scared if they locked me up. I hated jail. It was like being in a cage. I wanted my brother and started bawling on the captain's shoulder like a big baby.

"Hey, Emmett, why don't you come sit down with me and drink some of this," Alice said and pulled me off the captain. She sat down with me and gave me a bottle of water. I lay down on the banquette with my head in her lap and sucked on the bottle of water she gave me. We were in the middle of the ocean now, with no signs of land anywhere. It was scary.

"Alice, you won't let him lock me up, will you?" I asked, starting to cry again. She ran her fingers through my curls and whispered soothing words to me until I stopped sniffling. That reminded me of my mommy. I fell asleep quickly as Alice sang softly to me like mommy used to.

I woke up the next morning to something wet dripping into my ear. I looked up straight into that damn bird's ass. It was perched on the railing near my head as it squirted another shot of crap at me, just barely missing my face. I tried to stand up quickly, only to have an arm clinch around my waist, holding me tight. I looked back and about pissed myself to see Captain Oh-No-The-Fuck-You Didn't spooning me. This couldn't be happening. I reached back to make sure my backdoor was still shut tightly and knocked into something I prayed I'd never have the dishonor of touching…another guy's morning wood.

"Not even on a fucking dare," I growled and pried his arm loose, losing my footing in a pile of bird shit and going down hard on my ass.

"Fuck me sideways!" I shouted in pain as my tailbone connected loudly with the hard deck.

"That costs extra, sailor! Rraawk!" the damn bird squawked as it danced back and forth on the railing. The raunchy little bastard started making laughing noises at me as he bobbed his head up and down wildly, his fucking beady little eyes sparkling as if he'd heard a really funny joke.

I made to lunge at him, and he flapped up over my head, landing on the roof of boat cabin. I slipped again, falling onto the captain, causing him to jolt awake and scream in pain as my face landed squarely into his junk. "Suck it harder! Swallow it, bitch!" the bird squawked, and Captain Cock leaned up and looked down at me as I was trying to get traction enough to disengage my face from his promised-to be-my-nightmare land. I finally sat up enough to grab the empty Captain Morgan bottle and chucked it at the laughing bird, barely missing him. I was going to pluck his feathery little ass one of these days!

The captain and I sat there staring at each other for a second. "This never happened," I said looking at him pointedly.

"Aye, matey, agreed," he said looking at me seriously. "Davey Jones, 'e'll own me first afore I wag me tongue on the matter."

Well said. Strangely and somewhat disturbingly said, but well said indeed.

CHARLIE

With the help of the judges, lawyers, a DA, and a cop, we were building a pretty damn airtight case against Judge Caius. The Volturi law group was going to be a little more difficult to pin down. Unless their clients came forward and told us they'd lied, they could hide under the guise of not being informed of the truth. The only way we were going to get them would be to turn Judge Caius against them. Hopefully, he'd have more damning evidence we could use.

Rosalie received an odd text from her weird sister. It said, "Ask about the man, and check your e-mail."

"What man?" Could that little girl have been anymore cryptic?

"I'll know when it's time. I've gotten used to her odd prompts, don't worry about it," Rose brushed it off. I wondered if she really would know who to ask about.

She checked her e-mail like she was told and found an e-mail from Judge Caius. He'd found out we were digging into him, and he was getting nervous. He wanted to meet up with Rose and asked her to think about any incentives she might have had an interest in. He worded it all very carefully, so as not to condemn himself. The problem was he already had.

A/N: I know we made you laugh, so now tell us what you loved! Thanks for reading and please review!