Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005
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Chapter 9
BPOV
My two weeks in Italy were amazing although I feel like I gained about ten pounds from over indulging on rich, Italian cuisine. I did do my share of walking and sightseeing, but the balance of calories in and calories out was way off. I met some wonderful people, mostly locals and a few from here in the States. One girl, about my age, who I clicked with immediately, happens to live not far from me. We plan to do lunch sometime soon.
Being home means that now the real work starts, the writing. I'm surprised at how much I missed Buddy, I've become more attached to that little dog than I imagined.
I have mixed emotions about coming home. I can't wait to see Buddy, but I know I need to have a more serious talk with Jacob about our relationship and how for me, it will always be just a friendship. He's so kind, sweet, attentive, and patient, but I don't want him wasting his time on me. He's a very eligible handsome, successful bachelor. He should be sowing some serious oats. I see the way girls look at him; even the waitresses at his cafe are smitten. He has dark skin, hair and kind eyes, He's well built, muscular and about six feet tall. Mainly he is warm, kind, smart and very open. It's hard to not be attracted to Jake, and don't get me wrong, I am. Finding him attractive is not the issue...I just don't believe in lasting romantic love. I have never witnessed it. One person ends up destroying the other somehow, whether intentionally or not. My parents for example, their divorce practically ruined them both. Charlie has yet to even attempt dating again and it's been fifteen years. My mom, Renee, she has gone from one bad relationship to another. She's run the gamut of dating every abusive, addicted, possessive, emotionally unavailable man since their divorce. She's still out there trying, but remains unhappy and unsuccessful at love. I have learned from their mistakes although some call it cynicism. If I ever enter into a potentially lasting relationship it will be built around friendship; romance, and sex will not be part of the equation. They just complicate things and eventually sabotage the relationship.
A/N
Hmm, Bella is a bit cynical.
What should she say to Jacob?
Who did she meet in Europe?
Going on about 4 hours of sleep here. Spent the whole afternoon and evening in LA fangirling. I may have gotten a certain man's autograph last night...