Paternal Bonds Shattered

Disclaimer: Do I need to say it? I don't own iCarly

A/N:

Chapter 22 (Decisions)

A month later, it had been decided that Rachel and the twins would be safer with Sylvia. Gibby managed to coax Hector into the idea, saying that she was one of the many hundreds of hired people and could actually take care of the children. He agreed to it, especially when Gibby told him what he had caught Jeremy doing on the day of their birth. Valerie would be allowed to visit her child often, but Sam obviously was restricted. She wasn't sure if she wanted to have that restriction, but she really didn't want to run the risk that she lose her children for good.

Valerie and Gibby pushed the strollers to where his girlfriend worked, the Playtime Daycare Center. Valerie was afraid of not being able to see her daughter like Sam, but she had faith that everything would be okay. "So Gibby, what happens when Hector decides to move us around?" Gibby frowned and rubbed the back of his neck, he hadn't thought of that. "I don't want to be miles away from my daughter."

"Well, I know Hector hasn't had any reason to move yet, so it should be okay for now. If he decides to move, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Valerie nodded as they approached the building. Perhaps if they ever did have to move, they would bring the children home. Valerie wasn't sure if she could go through with this. Rachel was hers, she was an angel. The baby had a picture clutched in her clothing, it was of the two mothers and their children. Gibby had taken the photo. "If it comes to that, we'll bring the kids back."

"I don't know if I can do this, Gibby. I love my little girl." She didn't want to run the risk of Jeremy doing anything to Rachel, though. Rachel was her hope, though. Her hope that one day something good was going to happen and things would be better. "I love my little girl."

"You don't have to leave her with Sylvia if you don't want to. It's entirely up to you." Valerie was happy to be able to have that decision. Right now, though, she would have to see what it was like to have her daughter under the care of someone else. When they entered, they found Sylvia working with a small group of children. She looked up at Gibby and smiled.

"Hey Gibby, I see you found the place," Sylvia said while walking over to him. She was pretty. She had sandy brown hair that reached to her waist and was wearing a white t-shirt with faded blue jeans. Gibby smiled as she took his hands and kissed his cheek. She then looked at the babies and knelt down. "Aw, and these are the cute little ones?"

"Yeah, the one with the dark brown patch of hair is Rachel, that's Valerie's baby. The other two are Sam's, they are twins." Sylvia nodded and picked up one of the two twins. She would make them at home, she truly loved taking care of children.

"They're so adorable!" Valerie bent over and picked Rachel up. She smiled and cradled the girl in her hands. Looking into the infant's eyes, she just couldn't bear to part with her. Sure she'd see her child often, but who knew how long it would be until she honestly got the chance? The child would be a lot safer with Jonah, but that didn't seem to be an option.

Valerie knew every mole on her daughter's body, where her birthmark was, she had spent so many hours just counting her little fingers and toes. This baby had become her life. Tears left her eyes as Rachel peered up at her. Her eyes were so innocent, so questioning, as if she knew and understood what was going on. Gibby and Sylvia watched Valerie and remained silent, letting her decide what she wanted to do. Valerie held Rachel close and shook her head, there was no way on earth she could give this baby up. "I can't do it, I can't do it…"

"Then keep her at the house and I'll make sure both you and your daughter stay safe for as long as possible," Gibby said with a small smile. Valerie was thankful, she really didn't know what she was going to do. She was scared, very scared. "As for the other two, there's nothing we can do but leave them here. Hector doesn't want them and Sam's not allowed to keep them." Valerie frowned and carried her baby outside, then stared up into the sky. Where was Jonah right now? What would he do? He would be able to care for these children, wouldn't he?

Far away, Freddie and Carly managed to meet up somewhere in Seattle. They were worn and distraught, Sam never returned to them. "It's almost been an entire year," Freddie said with a small frown. Carly slowly nodded her head as the two walked through the streets. "I still miss her more than anything. I want her back."

"You haven't dated anyone else, huh?"

"How could I?" Carly understood, and she wouldn't press matters. They still believed Sam to be alive. They were going to continue doing everything in their power to find her. "I saw some of your latest movies, they're not too bad."

"Thanks, and neither are those manuscripts you sent me." Freddie smiled with pride as he patted the strap of his backpack. He'd already gotten started on his writing, which was a really good thing. He even had a good editor, dare he mention who it was though. Carly knew, he told her not that long ago. They were surprised Hector worked for that publishing company, but as long as he helped publish Freddie's stuff, that was fine. The subject of his daughter's loss was still a pretty sore subject for him.

"So Mr. Puckett seems to be making a pretty good turnaround," Freddie commented while rubbing his chin lightly. "He got out of prison and got a good job at a publishing company…so he's doing pretty well it seems."

"Yeah too bad you can't ever find him anywhere. Has he ever mentioned where he lives?"

"No…I've only gotten notices and stuff from him." Granted, it would have been nice to know where his editor lived. He couldn't help but wonder what kind of house Hector lived in, since clearly the man had money. He obviously got that money from his business partner, he had to have. "I think it's nice to be getting manuscripts and stuff back with proofread marks, one of my stories is actually on the verge of being published."

"I'm proud of you Freddie." They contemplated doing an iCarly just for old times sake, sort of like a reunion every now and then. After a year of having it, what would happen if they just shot one more. No, there were too many memories involved in it. They weren't trying to forget Sam, no they could never do that, but they were getting to the point where maybe they needed to move on from her. "Ms. Briggs is actually turning out to be a pretty decent body guard."

"Well that's good, I still say I never thought she'd be one. She's always a bit scary though, so maybe she's just scary enough." Carly chuckled as they passed the groovy smoothie. T-Bo was in the window. He looked out at them and waved sadly. Ever since Sam's disappearance, they never went to that smoothie shop. Sam was the one that introduced them to the place anyway. Never again would they see Gibby running in there and the old man fleeing at the sight of him, never again would they hear Jeremy groaning because he sneezed smoothie everywhere, never again would they hear Sam shout at another one of T-Bo's weird ideas.

"You think we ought to go in there? Is it still painful for you?"

"Yeah, sometimes…You know nobody's taken her locker yet."

"Really? I would have thought someone would be using it by now." Freddie shook his head and looked up into the sky. "Hey, is it true what happened to Valerie's family all those months ago?"

"Yeah, I thought I told you. My dad was working with someone because this big group of people had threatened the family. They're safe now, they moved somewhere…not sure where exactly." Carly shrugged as they stopped near Ridgeway. It was hard for Freddie in there, since everywhere he looked, he heard Sam. "I can feel it, Carly. She's still out there. I don't know where, but she's there."

"We should keep hoping that, keep believing it. Because…I don't think I could make it if I believed otherwise." Freddie breathed in and slowly relaxed.

"You know, every now and then I think I've stumbled upon the mystery. There's a lot I've discovered, and that is that the murders of Jeremy's father, Gibby and Nevel's family, and their disappearances are all connected."

"You felt like people are watching you, by any chance?" Freddie looked at her and her jaw grew firm. "I have, and I'm not talking about my fans. I constantly feel like I'm being watched. Ms. Briggs says it would be paranoia associated with the loss of my best friend." Every now and then, she felt as though someone was watching her, someone sinister. What would happen if she was right? What if there was someone violent watching her, checking to make sure she didn't stumble too close to what happened to Sam?

"Maybe…maybe we ought to just focus on our schooling and other projects right now. Maybe if we didn't focus so much on Sam, that paranoia would go away."

"What are you suggesting? That we give up on her?"

"No. Never would I suggest that." Freddie closed his eyes and breathed out, he just knew it wasn't his place right now. He couldn't do anything, and whenever he tried, something bad would happen. He couldn't count how many times it seemed someone sent him a death threat urging him to stop looking for Sam. "I just think maybe we should take a break…"

"A break? And for how long would we take this break?"

"We'll never stop looking for her, Carly…"

"I know." Tears came to Carly's eyes as Freddie hugged her and let her cry on his shoulder. "Why did this happen to us, Freddie? Why? Why'd it happen to our Sam?"

"Stay strong Carly. We're going to see her again, I believe it. It's just right now, we can do nothing. There is nothing we can do except be there for each other. It's a hard decision to make, but until there can be something we can do…there is nothing…"

They will never give up on Sam, but one day they will find her. Time is going to start increasing a bit here soon, and we'll start seeing some things that lead into familiar territory.