beta'd by cejesmom

Chapter 11

BPOV

Arriving home always feels so good after a long trip. I dump my bags just inside the door and run, literally, to Angela's to get Buddy.

I no sooner step in the door and he leaps up into my arms. "I guess you missed me as much as I missed you little guy",I say hugging him to my chest.

Angela is in her chair smiling at us. Buddy was a perfect gentleman while in her care and Jacob was very prompt, responsible and attentive to my Buddy too; it's good to know he was well looked after.

"You know he really cares about you," Angela says.

"Buddy?" I respond knowing full well she is talking about Jacob, but I am trying to lighten the conversation and avoid the topic altogether. Her lack of response and eye contact let me it didn't work. I take a deep breath and sigh, "I know, and I need to have a serious talk with him, soon".

"You two would be really good together, easy," Angela pushes. "Is there no spark? Is that why you won't go out with him?"

"It's a long, complicated reason why I won't go out with him. Let's just say that I wouldn't be good with anyone, and he deserves better."

"Don't limit yourself Bella. Don't sabotage things before you even give them a chance. I was married for a lot of years and I know what it takes to have a good relationship, and Jacob is definitely relationship material."

"I know Angela. He is perfect in so many ways, just not perfect for me. Or rather, I'm not perfect for him. We are better as friends. He needs to move on and find someone who can appreciate him more than I can."

"I would hate to see you lose your chance with him. He really is a great catch." She gives me an encouraging smile as I gather up all of Buddy's things.

"Thanks again Angela, I really appreciate your help with Buddy," I call as we walk out the door. If Angela had noticed Jacob's interest in me, then talking to him needs to be sooner than later.

The salty breeze wafts in the open screen door and windows. The house really needs to be aired out after my absence.

Showering off the airplane grime is high priority. The strong flow of hot water from my shower was sorely missed. Low flow hotel showers really suck. I don't know what I miss more when traveling, my shower, or my bed. Right now the shower is winning.

I throw on a tank top and short cotton shorts, what I sleep in most nights. I throw my bags on the bed and begin to sort. The iPod is a must to motivate me to finish the tedious job of unpacking. With the music blaring in my ears I dance around, starting the laundry and putting things back in their place throughout the house. Buddy follows me from room to room, my little shadow. He won't let me out of his sight. One of my favorite songs comes on, Santeria by Sublime. I stop and bend down to Buddy's level and sing to him. He is mesmerized by my antics, but suddenly darts past me. Surprised, I spin around to see Jacob leaning in the front doorway with a way too amused expression on his face. He slowly raises his eyes to meet mine; they were obviously on my ass while I was bent over... great.

"It's not nice to sneak up on people. How long were you standing there?" I ask obviously annoyed. I feel my face flush realizing my lack of clothing.

"Well, I rang the bell, knocked a few times. You were, um, in your own world. I tried the screen door and it was unlocked so I let myself in. I hope you don't mind? I needed to get your attention somehow. Even Buddy was, um, interested in your little performance."

"That little performance was, um, private. Why didn't you call before showing up at my door?" I spit out.

The smile on Jacob's face fades, which makes me feel bad for my reaction. "I just got home from the cafe, I wanted to see if you got home safely and how your trip was."

Getting over the embarrassment I breathe, "Thanks for checking up on us, as you can see we are doing just fine." I force a smile for his benefit. He stands there staring at me with a look of too much admiration than I deserve or want.

"I'll be right back", I say as I leave the room. I need a robe. I wonder how much of me Jacob actually saw? I don't have on a bra or underwear. I wasn't expecting to see anyone. I shake my head with regret. I don't want to make this harder for myself or Jake.

When I return Jake has made himself at home on the sofa, giving Buddy scratches on his tummy; his favorite. "Do you want something to drink, a beer, wine, water? I'm having a cold beer. I miss cold drinks."

Jake looks up and sees I have covered myself up. He raises his eyebrow, "Sure, I'll have the same."

"Thanks for looking after Buddy, Angela said it went pretty smoothly. Any word from Buddy's owner?" I yell from the kitchen.

"I've checked Craigslist's lost and found every day, but so far, nothing about Buddy. But I did see something interesting. That's another reason I wanted to see you tonight," he says as I hand him his beer and sit across from him in the chair.

"I'm glad Buddy's owners haven't come to get him. They don't deserve to have him back if they haven't tried harder to find him. What did you see, on Craigslist?"

"Did you ever take Buddy to the Huntington Dog Beach?" he asks.

I freeze. My heart starts pounding in my chest. How does he know, I never told him I went there? "Actually I did, it was a disaster. We're not cut out for that place. How did you know I went there?" I can tell Jake is hesitating to tell me. He looks almost sad.

"What Jake?"

"Well, I saw a personal ad. I think someone is trying to find you."

I scream "what?" inside my head, but try to stay calm outwardly. Why am I having such a physical reaction to this bit of information? Breathe in, breathe out. "What did the ad say?" I immediately picture the source of my anxiety, cute abs guy. Who else would be trying to find me? But why?

"I didn't print it out, but something about a pretty young girl with brown hair and a dog named Buddy."

"Oh, that could describe most of the girls on the beach, and Buddy is a common dog name", I admit almost disappointedly. It's not me, it's not cute abs guy.

"Well, what day did you go? The ad had the date." he continues.

"Um, the Saturday before I left, that beautiful weekend, June 9th I think."

"Yup, the ad said June 9th."

My heart stops. I can't seem too eager in front of Jacob, but all I want to do is run to my computer and search for the ad. "Thanks Jake, I'll check it out later. Did you meet anyone while I was gone, go out on any dates?" I ask focusing on the unpleasant task at hand.

He shrugs his shoulders, "I meet people every day Bella, but no one who interests me, so to answer your question, no dates while you were gone." His eyes search mine as he says it.

I have to look away. I can't match his intensity or need. "Jake, you know I care about you. But I'm not looking for a relationship, with anyone." I glance at him and continue. "I've tried the relationship thing; it's just not for me. My job is too consuming of my time and energy. Plus, I think we are better as friends, I wouldn't want to ruin that."

"Bella, I know you're not ready for a relationship. I don't mind waiting." he says as he scoots to the edge of the sofa leaning towards me; his eyes never leaving my face.

I sit back farther in the chair without even thinking. He's not taking me seriously, and I don't want my body language to encourage him at all. "Jake, I don't want you to wait for me; I don't think I'll ever be ready. I have no intention of settling down and getting married now, in five years or in ten. It's just not me. Please don't wait, go have some fun."

My voice sounds almost like I'm pleading.

Looking down he says, "Don't worry about me Bella, I like my life. I am having fun. I'm doing what I want to do." He stands up and walks to the door. "I'm glad you're back Bella, Buddy really missed you." And leaves.

I don't move for a few minutes going over the conversation in my mind. I don't think it went well. He didn't listen to me, and I hurt him. I don't know what to say or do to make this any easier, better. Hopefully, in time he will accept my decision and move on.

Butterflies flit in my stomach, the Craigslist ad. I run to get my computer which I haven't unpacked yet. I rush to get it hooked up and boot it up. Google, Craigslist and search...

A/N

What do you think about Jake and Bella's interaction?

Who posted the ad? LOL

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Camping is going well. Busy day today, surprise in an hour, concert later!