Disclaimer: The Harry Potter Universe belongs to JKR and anyone she legally lets use them. Not me.
A/N: I keep forgetting how inspirational the shower is…this is yet another product of me thinking in the shower :) If only I had a computer that would record what I thought, izninja, then chapters would come out quicker xD I hope you enjoy this chapter! It's a bit different from what I normally write for this story…well I think so at least…
Thank you for all the awesome reviews, the faves and the alert adds! :)
Enjoy!
Chapter 11
Draco buried his face in his hands, as he sat on the edge of their bed. Why, why did he always let Harry bloody Potter get to him? It was as if every time Potter's name was mentioned, Draco's mind blanked and he reverted back to being sixteen and angry at Potter for anything and everything.
Draco loved Severus. Deeply. There's was a bond formed in a time of war, when they could only depend on one another, at least until Lucius and Narcissa stepped away from Voldemort's plans.
Severus had always been more of Draco's friend than his godfather. Oh, he was his godfather, in legal documents. But Draco had always gone to him to play with, to sneak out with, to have fun with. Severus would sneak him chocolate and candy when his mother wouldn't let him have any, tell him stories, adventures, in a manner more friendly than parental. Draco had two parents, he hadn't needed another. But a friend? Draco hadn't had any of those.
And then the war. Draco had gotten the Mark, but regretted it within months. It had been Severus who had given him hope, taught him Occlumency and aided him in spying.
And then, just months before the Last Battle…
Flashback
Draco stood in the study, fingering the ivory pieces of the chess set. That was what they were in this war, wasn't it? Pieces on a board, just leading to the inevitable of one side claiming the other's king. Draco snorted. Typical, Potter the King.
Sobering, Draco sighed and stepped out towards the window. There was an ache in his chest from what his heart was telling him now. It felt incestuous, and yet right. Beautiful, and yet wrong. Loving him, was it a mistake?
He was 17, but he knew he loved Severus. Late night meetings, his new matured outlook on the world, these things had gained him new insight into the true character and personality of his Professor. Witty, sarcastic, dryly humorous, and intelligent beyond belief. Even now, in the midst of this war, they had managed to have conversations about various Potions, about deeper philosophical topics. Draco had never had that with anyone else.
But, oh, how this love hurt.
"Draco?"
Draco spun around, only to come eye to eye with the man ruling his thoughts.
"Se-Severus, what are you doing here?" Draco managed to choke out.
Severus raised an eyebrow, "We were going to meet today, to go over…things. Do you not remember?"
Draco blinked, "Oh, yes. Take a seat, will you?" Draco began to turn away, needing a moment.
Severus' hand came to rest on Draco's arm, gripping as the younger man turned away. "Draco? What is the matter? You had this…saddened expression on your face when I entered. Is everything alright?"
Draco shrugged off Severus' comments, "Of course. What would be—"
Severus' hand tightened, "Do not lie to me Draco. You know how I hate that."
Draco looked away, "I am simply having a few personal problems. I will be fine in a few days."
Severus turned Draco back to face him, "Personal problems? What is the matter Draco! I am your friend, am I not? We have shared so much, how can you not share this with me?"
Draco looked up, into this man, his mentor, his godfather, his love's, eyes and then, for once doing the Gryffindor thing to do, leaned up and pressed a kiss against the older man's thin lips.
Severus seemed to be standing there in shock.
Drawing back, Draco looked up at Severus, his Slytherin conscience already screaming at him for his stupidity. Gulping, Draco opened his mouth to apologize when Severus's arm suddenly wrapped around Draco's waist and pulled him against his tall, lean, sexy body. Looking up in alarm, Draco had a moment to recognize what was happening, before his lips were taken in a fierce, passionate kiss. Draco could feel his bones melting, and his hands rose to clutch at Severus' robes to maintain his balance. It was everything he had dreamed of and more.
End of Flashback
Draco climbed into bed, wiping away the tears that had somehow escaped.
He was an idiot sometimes. But that didn't mean he didn't love Severus. And it didn't mean that he was an immature child who didn't care for his lover's needs. He just…had a blind spot when it came to Potter.
Draco closed his eyes, his body starkly aware of the cold emptiness of the bed.
It was going to be a very long night.
Severus stepped into the guest room, collapsing into an armchair, long fingers gripping the bridge of his nose as he tilted his head back. Sometimes Draco was just so…childish.
If Severus were to ever choose Draco's one weakness, it would be how his mind failed to function wherever Potter was involved. Severus didn't understand it, for Draco had not always been this single-minded when it came to Potter. But it seemed, like many things, the war had cemented this response within Draco's psyche.
It wasn't that Severus did not love Draco. Despite all the reasons that Severus shouldn't have let himself fall for his godson, he had. It had not been intentional, and it had not been voluntary. But, then again, when was love either of those things?
Flashback
Severus sat in his chair, nursing a snifter of smooth cognac. The alcohol glinted in the firelight, as he stared at it, his mind in tangles over what was happening.
Somehow, speaking to Draco of the war, coming to depend and protect him, as they both risked their lives for spying, he had managed to do the unthinkable. He had fallen for the younger man. For a man he was, not a boy. Draco and Potter, so different and yet so alike. Both so young, and yet their eyes spoke of horrors beyond imagination, of an age beyond what they truly were. No longer was Draco a spoiled brat who thought simply of Quidditch and getting back at Potter. He'd matured, and as much as it saddened Severus to see him so serious, it also called out to the primal part of Severus' mind, who saw not the child that Severus had seen grow, but the tall, slender man, with flawless pale skin, intelligent silver eyes, fine silky blonde hair, rosy lips, and the curve of that arse…
No! Severus, you are not supposed to think of him like that! What would Lucius think! What would Lucius do to you?
Severus cringed.
And yet, he did. All he could think about was pushing Draco down onto the bed and ravishing him.
But not just ravishing him. Making love to him. Slowly. Tenderly.
It scared Severus how much he felt for Draco.
He couldn't understand it. He didn't want it. But it had happened. And every time Draco came in, giving Severus that small smile, settling down across from him in that chair, and opening his mouth to speak softly of their duties, the dangers, and how to survive, Severus could feel his heart falling deeper and deeper.
Severus had reached a point of no return.
And the pain here was worse than the Cruciatus.
End of Flashback
Severus sighed and prepared for bed. Intellectually, Severus knew that this was a side effect of having such a young lover, who had moments of weakness, who couldn't always think of his lover first.
But the heart wanted who the heart wanted.
No matter what the mind said.
"WHY? WHY DOES POTTER ALWAYS GET EVERYTHING?"
Severus expression turned dark, "What is your problem Draco?"
Draco narrowed his eyes, "What is my problem? My problem is that my lover just spent three hours brewing potions for his fake husband instead of spending time with me. My lover goes on dates with his fake husband, my lover—"
Harry blinked a few times before swallowing hard and climbing the stairs as quickly as he could. He'd tried to stay out of Malfoy's way, tried not to become a burden to their relationship. But it seemed that no matter how hard he tried, he was destined to fail.
And Lucius. He'd deal with Lucius later. That traitorous bastard.
Shutting the door behind him, Harry took a few breaths, calming his racing heart and catching his breath. He was still weak from being ill. Stumbling towards his bed, Harry sat, his shoulders collapsing as he buried his head in his hands.
It was his fate to be in love with these two men who would forever hate him.
Severus…he hadn't meant to fall in love with Severus. He wasn't sure how he'd managed to. It wasn't like the man actually liked him. But…between accidentally using the other man's Potions book, finding a friend in the person who wrote such witty comments, who was so intelligent, so brilliant, and then the training…
Flashback
"Potter!"
Harry turned around quickly, wand in hand, "Sir!"
Snape scowled at the Gryffindor, stalking over to loom above him, "Are you under the impression, Mr. Potter, that I am here to serve you at your convenience?"
Harry shook his head, "No sir."
Snape's glare turned more heated, "I see. Andwould you like to explain why you are late to our scheduled meeting?"
Harry swallowed, "I…sir…I…"
Snape spun around, "You are an imbecile Potter. Prepare for a duel."
Harry gulped. He'd tripped and fallen down the stairs and Madame Pomfrey had said to not overexert himself today.
"But sir…"
"Silence Potter. Wand out."
Harry sighed; there was no arguing with Snape when he was in this mood. He'd just have to tough it out.
Harry drew his wand and readied himself. Snape threw the first curse, which Harry blocked deftly. Harry responded, but Snape's shield deflected it easily. And so their duel continued like this for a while until one of Snape's Cutting Curses made it through Harry's shield and hit the Gryffindor's torso.
"Nngh!" Harry groaned, collapsing to the floor. It was just his luck that Snape managed to hit the one part of his body he actually had a huge bruise on.
Snape scowled as he walked over. "What is wrong with you Potter! You're normally not this idiotic and slow!"
Harry almost smiled, was that a compliment? Harry groaned again though as the pain increased in his torso.
"Potter!" Snape scowled, falling gracefully to his knees and batting Harry's hands away from his stomach. "What is wrong with you?"
Lifting up Harry's shirt, Snape paused, an uncharacteristic look of shock on his face before his mask fell back. "Potter, what did you do?"
Harry grimaced, "I fell down the stairs."
Snape raised an eyebrow. "And?"
Harry looked at the ground, "And Madame Pomfrey told me to rest."
Snape pursed his lips, "And instead of informing me of this, you decided to continue on with our lesson today."
It was Harry's turn to scowl. "I tried to tell you!"
"Evidently not hard enough. Up with you Mr. Potter, and onto the sofa."
Harry laid down as Snape leaned over him, whispering a healing spell, the tip of his wand barely grazing Harry's skin. Harry's eyes widened and he tried not to moan at the wand's seductive caress, like the tips of a lover's fingers brushing his torso. His dreams were already being…infiltrated by the Potions Master; he did not need this now!
"Potter? Are you alright?"
Harry looked up and almost fainted in surprise at look of concern on Snape's face.
"I'm fine, thank you Professor. Are we behind now?"
Snape stepped back to observe Harry's injury and said, "Behind?"
"In my training?"
Snape sighed and looked at Harry, "Mr. Potter, we are moving as fast as the two of us can. There is no need to worry. By the time you face the Dark Lord you will be ready."
Harry laughed bitterly, "I'd better be."
Snape scowled, "Potter! You will defeat the Dark Lord, understood?"
Harry nodded, eyes still closed, "Or die trying at least."
Suddenly, he was grabbed by the collar and pulled up to eye level, "Mr. Potter. I have not invested so much of my time and energy in preparing you, in order for you to simply lie down and die. You will defeat that insane monster and you will stay alive. Is. That. Understood?"Each word was punctuated with a violent shake.
Harry nodded, half frightened by the proximity to those blazing black eyes, half aroused.
Snape dropped Harry back onto the sofa and turned to get a vial of pain reliever, "Or I will revive you myself just to kill you."
Harry smiled, did that mean Snape cared?
A warm feeling blossomed in his chest, and Harry knew that it was all going to be downhill from here.
End Flashback
Drawing in a shuddering breath, Harry leaned back to lie on the bed. And so it had begun; his fatal attraction to one Potions Master that would inevitably just cause him more pain.
And Draco…
Harry sighed as he sat up, gently pulling out a chain from under his shirt. Taking the small key between his fingers, he opened the locked drawer of his nightstand and opened it quietly. Inside lay a rack of crystal vials, silvery mist within them, each one obsessively labeled in small, precise handwriting.
Harry sighed
If only…
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