The mood was sombre. It should have been happy and excited, exuberant and high-spirited. But it wasn't and they weren't. Because this time, it really was goodbye. It was goodbye until Lewis came home at Christmas, and December was just so far away. For all of them. Gillian had woken up that morning a little teary; her baby boy was leaving home. Cal felt the sadness of his wife on top of a feeling of helplessness. Owen was bummed his friend was leaving. And Lewis was torn between a new adventure and saying farewell to his family; the only life he had known so far, the unknown was scary.

Today, Lewis was going away to college.

The four of them stood around aimlessly, not really talking, occasionally joking or sharing some titbit of useless information. Lewis had a nervous energy; the grip on his plane ticket was firm. Gillian was trying not to cry and clinging on to Cal's hand tightly. And Owen hung his head where he stood, scuffing his toe over the pattern of the carpet. Cal felt apart, like he was watching from a distance, like he could see himself from above. The airport was noisy around them but it was like they were in their own little bubble, waiting. Cal remembered feeling this way another time in his life but he couldn't pinpoint it; he just knew it had also been significant. The boarding call for Lewis's flight came on overhead and Cal listened to it with a sinking heart. It was time.

Cal and Gillian glanced at each other. "Ok," Gillian stepped forward and Cal watched her compose herself, plaster a smile and reach out her arms to hug her boy. They squeezed for a really long time and then Gillian gave Lewis's cheek a kiss and she squeezed his arm as she pulled away again. The diamond ring on her finger caught the light as she raised her hand to fidget with the band; a new habit, Cal noted.

Then it was Cal's turn and he squeezed his son for a long time too, a part of him not wanting to let go, another trying to make sure he remembered how his son felt. Lewis was eighteen, a man, and it amazed Cal that this person, who had once fit in the crook of his elbow, was now grown, taller than his father even, and going to college. If there were things Cal wanted to change they were only minor, because really, everything had lead to this moment, to this wonderful young man, and if he changed just one thing, would that make Lewis different?

"Love you buddy," Cal told him, fighting back a wave of sadness that made his throat feel funny.

"Love you too Dad," Lewis's large hands pressed at Cal's shoulders.

Cal let him go and everything washed over him for a second. He felt the prick of tears and then the energy within him shifted and he grinned. This wasn't something to be sad about and he could see Lewis was feeling wobbly, and Gillian was certainly already upset, but Cal didn't need to compound the mood with his own. As always, he had a choice, let the sadness take him over, or fight it back and be happy. Happiness was a choice, always a choice. And Cal chose, in this moment, to be happy. His brilliant boy was now a young man. And it certainly wasn't goodbye forever.

"Have fun," Cal added. "But not too much eh?" He gave a wink, used a small 'much', and Lewis laughed, surprised, but grinned in return, muttering something in half-agreement. Cal went to his wife's side and she put her arm around the back of his waist, gripping tightly. He didn't look, but he was pretty sure she was crying again.

Owen gave his brother a reluctant expression and shuffled over for his hug too. It was not an aversion to a public display of affection, but to saying goodbye at all. Owen idolised Lewis and he was only just thirteen; there was still plenty of room for influence. But Lewis wouldn't be around so much anymore. "Be good little brother," Lewis told him as they embraced briefly. "Don't give them too much grief." He used 'trouble'. "They're pretty much good guys."

Cal expected an eye-roll in response to that but, instead, Owen nodded. "Promise you'll text me?" He used both thumbs in front of his body like he was working an xbox controller.

"Yeah of course," Lewis said as if it were obvious. "And here. I have something for you." He gestured to Owen and then dug into his pocket and pulled out a small metallic object.

Owen's face went to shock. "Really?"

"Yeah. You can look after him for me right?" He used 'care'.

"Yeah," Owen agreed softly, taking the small robot from his brother's outstretched palm. The little toy's body was about the size of a match box. Its arms and legs were chain with weighted hands and legs, so that they always dangled. Its head was round, with a conical hat, like the Tin Man's and his face was designed the same way. Except it moved differently. The eyebrows went up and down, and the pupils around and around in a circle. There was a little motor inside that was powered by a spent battery from Lewis's hearing aids. It was the first thing he had built as an electrical engineer, a side project for fun, when, Cal suspected, he was supposed to be doing a class project or something. Owen had coveted it from a distance for the last three years.

"Maybe you can name him?" Lewis suggested tapping his fingers over the top of the others.

"I'll think," Owen agreed with a nod, pointing absently to his head.

"Great. And I'll send you batteries as soon as I can." He lowered his voice but kept on signing. "But don't tell Mum and Dad."

Because, originally, the little robot had run off a fully charged hearing aid battery, until Gillian found out after she had to stage an investigation to find out why Lewis had run through his battery allocation a lot faster than usual.

Owen nodded and Lewis gathered up his carry-on luggage. "I suppose I should get going," he noted, pointing over his shoulder.

Gillian's grip on Cal tightened and Cal felt a surge, not of sorrow this time, but joy. That was good. He didn't want to be sad about this. Lewis was going out in the world. Cal hoped the world was good to him and more importantly, he really hoped Lewis found his place amongst it. "Gives a text when you land," Cal instructed.

"Of course," Lewis responded. "Thanks guys. I love you," he raised his hand in the 'ILY' gesture.

"Love you too honey," Gillian added, mimicking the sign.

"Love you," Cal echoed, doing the same.

"Bye Lewis," Owen called as his brother began to walk away. "We'll miss you!" He raised the little robotic toy, pushing the small button at its back that made its eyebrows go up and down and its eyes around and around for five seconds.

They watched through glass and barriers until Lewis went through the last check, handed over his boarding pass and disappeared into the long arm leading to the plane. They stood and waited while everyone else boarded the plane, and when Owen was already bored and folding his new little toy's arms and legs around its body and into various other unnatural poses, Cal and Gillian waited for the plane to take off down the runway and into the sky. When it was finally out of their sight they turned to each other. "All right?" Cal asked his wife, brushing the hair back gently from her face.

Gillian nodded. "So hard to believe he's gone." But she wasn't crying anymore.

"Yeah," Cal agreed, but with that smile again. He was picturing Lewis getting his bag at the other end, heading out to get a taxi; Cal had given him some cash and a few instructions. Nothing like the 'don't talk to strangers speech'. Then arriving at his dorm and settling in, unpacking, meeting people, finding his classes, making his way. "He'll be all right," Cal added, taking his wife's hand and turning them to walk slowly away.

"It's not him I'm worried about," Gillian retorted mournfully. "It's me."

Cal gave a slight laugh and pulled her against his hip, wrapping his arm around the back of her shoulder. He turned his head back to see where Owen was. "Wen let's go!" He called. "Just you, me and Mum now. Think of all the fun we're gonna have now we don't have Lewis around to pick on."

Owen spun on his toes on the carpet and fell in behind him. "Oh great," he muttered. Cal heard him anyway and smiled. And then it would be Owen's turn.