Paternal Bonds Shattered

Disclaimer: Do I need to say it? I don't own iCarly

A/N:

Chapter 42 (Turning Himself In)

A few days later, Hector started down the street, he knew what he was going to do. He didn't want to, but lately it didn't seem that there was any other way to get rid of his past. His mistakes. He saw Cara, Johnny, and Angie playing together in the park. His heart sank as he imagined that girl without any life in her body, any life in her eyes. He wasn't looking for forgiveness. In truth, he didn't want forgiveness, he didn't deserve it. He leaned against a tree, watching them.

"You know, sometimes I think my dad's a crime boss," Johnny said with a laugh. The girls looked at him with raised eyebrows and he shrugged his shoulders. "We went to see this movie about a mafia style gangster and the leader reminded me a bit of how Dad talks and sounds with people." He didn't think too much into it because he honestly didn't think all that was real. Why would his dad even be involved in crime, anyway? Angie chuckled as she tagged Johnny.

"You're weird, but whatever. You're it!"

"No! I was it last time, it's your turn!" Angie rolled her eyes and smirked, she could go with that. She loved to be the seeker. She moved to a rock and closed her eyes, resting her hands and face on the rock and counting to ten. Johnny and Cara were heard laughing and running off into the distance. Angie frowned and fought the feelings of abandonment inside her. She'd grown past all that, but it still hurt. Sometimes she was envious of both her older brother and Rachel, they had been the lucky ones. Then she had to think, had any of them truly been lucky? They'd all gone through so much, so much that their closest friends would never quite understand the terror and the fear. The nightmares they had, those were real. Everything was just too real for them. They were just kids, they didn't deserve all that happened to them. It made them older, seemingly. Old enough to feel and to have seen things that would forever haunt them. The age of innocence was too easily cut short for everyone involved. She shook her head and moved back from the rock, swallowing hard and remembering the game they were playing.

"Ready or not, here I come!" She scanned the park area and shook off a feeling of dread. She knew they were somewhere. Hell, she heard giggling nearby. "Cara, you know laughing will only help me find you!" Cara stopped giggling abruptly and Angie began walking towards where she heard the giggling.

Hector closed his eyes and began to grow irritable. He just wanted to get this whole ordeal over with. He didn't want to be such a grouch, really he didn't, but that was how he felt. Maybe he would kill her, maybe he'd just hold her until they found him. The police were searching for him, after all. He ran out and picked Angie up from behind. She yelled out and he continued walking, ignoring her screams. "No! Not you! Put me down, please!"

"Just shut up…"

"Help! Someone help!" She screeched and he cupped his hand over her mouth, feeling very annoyed with her shrill screams. Just as he was about to leave the park, Cara and Johnny stepped in front of him, glaring angrily.

"Put her down!" Johnny shouted and took a daring step forward. He didn't know this big man and was afraid of him, but he wasn't going to show it. Hector rolled his eyes and sighed.

"If you think I'm afraid of a couple six year olds, then you're in for a shock. Now get out of my way." He brushed past the children and made his way to an old abandoned warehouse where he tied Angie up. Sighing, he moved to a crate and sat on it, holding his hands in front of his face as she watched him carefully.

"What are you doing?"

"Waiting." He closed his eyes and sighed as he dreamed up a huge fight with Freddie and Freddie's father, a fight of the fathers. He could see himself nearly winning, but losing in the end. He could make it happen if he wanted to, he could cause an enormous fight, he could make everyone hate him even more and cause more pain for everybody involved. "Is your brother nowhere to be found?"

"N-No…" Hector shrugged and stared at Angie. She was dressed very well in a soft t-shirt with a kitten on it and blue felt pants. She had a small, pink jacket draped over her with a hood that rested on her back. He couldn't kill her, he didn't even know why the thought was even suggested.

"Hey!" Angie gasped and Hector looked to the doorway, it was Derek. Derek strode into the warehouse, his eyes locked in a death glare on Hector. "You stay away from my little sister! My brother's dead because of you, and I'm not going to lose my sister to you, either!" Hector winced and closed his eyes, recalling what happened to Adam many years ago. Sighing, he slowly stood up and turned his gaze to Derek.

"It wasn't I that took your brother's life. I wouldn't do something like that. Jeremy is the one…" Hector looked to the doorway and saw Rachel peering in, hiding at the side. She was obviously afraid of him, unable to really remember much.

"Jeremy was the bad man," She said with a small whimper. She did remember him and he still frequented her nightmares. The reason she awoke in a sweat on some nights. "Mommy said he tried to do something really bad to her just before they were rescued…she wouldn't say what, but Uncle Gibby was knocked out. Mrs. Benson saved her." Hector's eyebrows rose in thought as he tried to think about what Jeremy could have done to Valerie.

His face darkened and his hands closed up tightly as realization slowly came over him. "Damn it! I knew I should have been there!" Jeremy might have touched her and he wasn't there to stop him. It took everything inside him not to freak out in front of the children. He wanted to tear Jeremy's head from his body, destroy him piece by piece. Frustrating as it was, Jeremy was dead now. "I couldn't do anything." He was busy doing something Jeremy had made him do, getting their sons. All this time, he was finally starting to realize. This hadn't been about him, this hadn't been about him at all. He was just a fucking pawn, a fucking pawn in Jeremy's whole scheme. He had a chance at a new life ten years ago, he had a chance to fix everything, but Jeremy came along and he fucked everything up. Tears stung his eyes as rage, guilt, and sorrow gripped at him. "Derek. I think you'd better take your sister. Take your sister…and go…The police are coming, aren't they?" Derek frowned and stared at the man curiously. What was this about, he wondered,.

"Okay…and yes. Johnny and Cara alerted mom and dad."

"Why?" Hector buried his fingers into his eyes, turning around and trying to hold his rage down. "Why didn't they just go to the police? Why burden Sam? Just go, get out of here…" Derek nodded and untied Angie, then ran outside. Once they made it outside, he exploded.

In his rage, he punched the wall and grabbed a crate, throwing it across the room. He kicked a metal pole and smashed his fist into another crate. "Why?" He lifted a crate above his head and roared with anger as he brought it crashing down on the floor. "Fuck with my life, control me, why the fuck?" His enormous body shook as he fell to his knees and gripped the dirt on the floor with his fingers. He felt sick and wanted to die. He heard guns click and looked up to see several police officers glaring at him. In front of them stood Freddie and Henry, Sam couldn't bring herself to go in there.

"Well." Freddie cracked his neck, ready for a fight. It was taking everything in him not to destroy this man, but he was going to do the right thing. He would let Spencer be the one to tear this man apart. "You going to come easily, or do we need to do this the hard way? For taking my daughter, I should kill you right here."

"Shut up Benson." Freddie raised his eyebrow as Hector slowly rose, tears staining his cheeks. "Tell me…is Valerie okay?"

"What?"

"What happened to her that day…What that bastard did to her…is she okay?" Freddie and Henry looked at each other with confusion and the police officers lowered their weapons, not entirely certain whether they would need lethal force or not.

"Um, she's fine. He didn't do anything, by the way. Sam stopped him and Gibby pretty much prevented anything further…" Even after Jeremy took her up to the room, he didn't touch her. He was wounded and going to fix himself up, there was no reason to touch her. "So answer the question, are you…" Hector held his hand up. He then turned around, placed his hands on the back of his head and moved to his knees. Everyone stared in surprise, nobody expected him to give in so easily.

On the day of his trial, Victor had one of his best lawyers defending him, but as they suspected, they were up against Spencer. Hector was offered a plea deal, that if he accepted and plead guilty, he would get life with the possibility of parole in fifty years. A narrow escape from the death penalty. He refused the plea bargain, but did not deny his guilt.

It came to a surprise to him that Spencer had found a witness, the janitor who worked at the movie theater saw and heard what he had done to Sam that night and had been too afraid to speak up then. It did not take long at all for the jury to reach a verdict of guilty and for the judge to sentence him to death by lethal injection. A fitting end, in his eyes. He was given the opportunity to speak to the families and victims, and he took that opportunity. He didn't prepare any notes, he wanted everything to come from the heart, nothing written down, so nobody could say he didn't speak from his heart. He stood at the podium and saw the eyes of everybody whom he harmed, or that Jeremy had harmed. Today, they could speak not only to him, but to Jeremy as well. He wanted them to let it all out.

"I stand here before you, before all of you, a man marked for death." His eyes met Sam, who turned away from him. She was hurting too much to be there, but she had to. He frowned and let out a sigh. "I know what I've done was horrible, and I've wronged so many people…there is nothing I can do or say to erase the pain that I have caused, I know this. I won't stand here before you and tell you that I was a victim, I most certainly was not. Sure, Jeremy had used me for his own malicious intents, but the fact that I went along with it…and did nothing to stop it...makes me a criminal just as much. I am truly sorry for the pain that I have caused you and I wish that we could all just go back to living normal lives…but it's going to be a long and hard road for all of us." His body shook as he moved his gaze to Valerie. She didn't look away, but kept watching him. She felt bad for him, it was just how she was.

"To the Williams, I say I am sorry for having taken your daughter, your sister, your friend away from you." Vanessa closed her hand up and breathed a scoff from her lips. "I don't know the pain you must have felt. Just know, that it was a selfish decision on my part. I hurt my own daughter in a way that a father never should. I thought, maybe, I was given a second chance. I realize that I have failed then as well, as a true father would have let her go, and I selfishly kept her with me…" Valerie placed her hand to her chest as a tear fell from her eyes, she never even knew he thought that way about anything. "I am sorry."

"To my wife, I know you above all must and should hate me. You have every right to. I betrayed you, lied to you, tricked you…a common con man, it seems. I am sorry." Amy's face twisted in disgust as she eyed him with hate flowing through her veins. At least hearing these words did make it feel a little better, seeing the remorse in his eyes, telling them he was still human. At least, a lot more human than Jeremy ever was.

Soon, he was finished speaking to everybody and was ready for them to tear into him. He tried to hide the tears in his eyes, but couldn't. It tormented him, but he was not to complain. The first to rise up, on behalf of Valerie's family, was Vanessa. She met his eyes and gripped her podium so hard that her knuckles turned white. "Seeing you for the first time, you don't seem like the type of man to steal my sister away, or to harm your own daughter. Seeing you for the first time makes me so sick, makes us all so sick, that we just want to retreat into the very darkness that you sent us into."

Hector closed his eyes as she continued, her voice laced with spite and anger. She quivered in her speech, her eyes breaking out those tears she'd worked so hard to keep away. "You don't know how much was lost in those ten years. Mom walked, I got engaged, Veronica got hired on with a big time modeling agency, Victoria's beginning her career as an art teacher, and Vixen is heading into dance. All these things were things to be happy about, but were we happy? No! Why not? Because we didn't have Valerie. You stole her from us, but the fact that you treated her like a daughter…it relieves us only a little, but still breaks our heart." He nodded as Vanessa took a deep breath, now she wanted to speak about Jeremy.

"To Jeremy, we would like to say it simply: We hope you burn in hell, your soul rots and your body is eaten away by flies, maggots, and every other obscenity out there. How dare you ever lay a finger on our beloved Valerie. Your death couldn't come swift enough. That you died from a fall wasn't good enough, you deserve worse, and I hope. No, I pray…you get much worse spending your days in hell. For you are the sole destroyer of lives, of homes, of peace. Good riddance."

She returned to her seat and the judge looked for any of the others in the family area to rise. Sam couldn't bring herself to and was debating on running to the bathroom. Her stomach wasn't treating her kindly and was lurching every which way. Amy did get up to speak, saying how she wasn't sure she could forgive Hector, but she would work on it because she knew holding a grudge forever did more harm than good. Freddie even spoke, his words were not much different than Amy's, but they were harsher. The final person to speak was Valerie. She met his eyes with her tear filled eyes. She didn't hate him, she couldn't.

"Hector, in the last ten years, my best friends were Sam and Gibby. I lived in fear, but not of you, but in fear of Jeremy." Hector smiled sadly and felt his heart lift up a bit, it meant a lot to know that she hadn't feared or disliked him. "I can see how we were all like a family, a bit dysfunctional at that, but a family nonetheless. True, I looked up to you almost like a father, because I didn't have my own father…you treated me as such. I know you've caused a lot of pain, but don't live in guilt of it. She won't say it, but Sam agrees with me. I speak for both of us, to you from your daughters, both blood and by…figurative appearance."

Sam closed her eyes as Valerie took a deep breath and held Hector's eyes. The strong man looked ready to crack, to break, to fall to his knees and weep. "From Sam's perspective, you hurt her, caused her so much pain. Granted you were drunk most times and you were out of your head the first time, it doesn't dull the pain, nor does it make things any better. You were still wrong, she wants you to know that. She wants you to know that she won't live in fear of you, and like I have, in the past ten years, has seen a worse demon than you. That demon was Jeremy…" She cringed when she said his name. She hoped never to have to think of that man again.

"You were not there the day he knocked Gibby out, the day he tried to…rape me as well…" Hector's stomach tightened and his eyes instantly looked to a bucket beside his feet. This was the guilt eating at him, the guilt coming up. "He did nothing, I want you to know this. Don't feel guilty for having not been able to do anything. It was out of your control, and we are aware that perhaps, you feared him in ways as well. Hector, Sam and I want you to know, that we do forgive you. We will move on." He took a deep breath, his body shaking horribly as he closed his eyes. "It will be difficult, Sam acknowledges this, but she refuses to let herself be beaten by everything. Neither of us will forget you, likely for different reasons, but we will always remember one thing…like Gibby did, you did your best to keep Jeremy at bay whenever you could, and for that, we thank you. To Sam, that bond between a girl and her father is torn beyond repair…but to me, you could never, ever replace or fill the void left by my real dad, but to me, as a father for those ten years, you weren't too bad. I say this because you did let me have a life, you were so lenient on me where you weren't with the boys. Sam thinks that if Jeremy wasn't filled with such hatred, that you would have done the same for her…you allowed her to roam free during those ten years, it was Jeremy that kept her from truly going anywhere. Maybe, maybe you can rest easy with this thought on your mind: You did the best you could during those years. In reality, that's all that really makes someone a father, is to do the best they can…To Jeremy, we have nothing to say at all for that asshole…That is all."

Soon, he was led away to his cell, the words of Valerie resting fresh on his mind. He would be imprisoned with those words there. They also came from Sam, in a way. Valerie and Sam must have worked on their feelings together. He sat on his bench and put his hands to his face, where he wept bitter tears. His heart was swelling up, but breaking at the same time. He was finding it hard to live with himself. He loved those girls, and truly hoped for the best in their lives. Hopefully, they would be happy one day. Now, he just needed to figure out what to do with the time he had left in this world. His death was bound to come in just a few years.

Just a few more chapters left. You see this was different than the fight in the original, but it could be taken as possibly a bit of Hector's daydream. I think he just wanted to turn himself in and the only reason he took Angie was because he had a few questions and possibly wanted to see his granddaughter one last time.