A/N 1: Thank you, ninja awesome monkey, Mona, LaughLoveLiveXx, Maxi-Luca (yeah, that fight was hot, I'm sorry I can't actually include it in this fic) Sora Yogami (I'm weird too, I find everything about Emily cute too!) and IxHeartxGlee; and thank you, everyone.
They both climbed the metallic stairs up to the roof.
Emily stepped into the concrete ground first, as she was leading the way. She left the backpack on the floor and helped Spencer take the final steps. For all of Spencer's courage, she was sort of wide-eyed and extremely cautious to climb a spiral metallic ladder up to Hanna's roof. She said she sometimes suffered from vertigo, but still she'd insisted on carrying the backpack herself. Emily had had to stop her with her own hands, assuring no one was going to touch the backpack until the right, adequate moment. She was sure Spencer just wanted to feel up the backpack, searching for her birthday present, and Emily wasn't going to let her know anything until the right moment came; or better said, until all the right moments came. There was a whole set of moments prepared for the night. And the night was collaborating with her so far, because it was a limpid, dark summer night on the roof. There were no clouds, no smokes. There were no signs of people, cars or other buildings. There was no real sign of human life around except for them, although both Hanna and her mom were just some feet away. The whole world was moving fast beneath them on a Friday night, but you couldn't really see it or even imagine it from up there, on the roof. So, even though the roof of a house didn't look like the most romantic place to spend an evening, you could never underestimate the possibilities of a solitary place that brought you both higher and closer, without actually having to travel far into the woods or out of town - to Paris or New York.
Spencer looked around in wonder, contemplating the place. Not only was she surprised by Emily's selection of a location, it was also surprising that it hadn't actually been decorated. She was expecting candles and balloons and a steak, or something of the sort. This was certainly going to be interesting. But Emily simply crouched down to open the backpack and took a thin blanket out, which she laid down on the ground.
"A blanket?", Spencer asked, her smile immediately twisted. "On Hanna's roof?"
Emily sent her a smile of her own. "You're wrong, and it's not gonna happen here."
Spencer chuckled softly. "I know. Even the new you would find that too outrageous."
The point was: where would it happen? And what were they doing here? And when was she going to receive her present?
The blanket was smoothed out on the ground with as much care and dedication as Emily usually deployed in all aspects of life.
"There you go. Lie down."
Another crooked smile followed, this time a little hesitant, though.
"Wow, orders. You're starting to make me wonder about this."
"I think you've been wondering about this for a while now."
"You got me", Spencer confirmed, while she bent down and sat on the blanket. "You're not lying down next to me?"
"In a second", Emily smirked.
She covered the backpack with her body, all leery and suspicious, while she started getting things out. A couple of sandwiches she'd prepared in case Spencer got hungry and probably grumpy. Binoculars that Hanna had borrowed from Lucas at Emily's request. And, very importantly, her cheat sheet. That was what she needed right now; the rest would come later.
Spencer caught a brief glimpse of every item that Emily had laid down on the ground, next to the blanket where she was already sitting, and immediately started calculating different scenarios that somehow didn't add up together.
"What the hell is that?"
Emily finally sat by her side on the blanket and offered her one of the sandwiches. "Food. So you don't enter into killer mood."
Spencer laughed at that. "I'm not hungry yet, but I thought you'd be making me dinner."
That was the part of the plan that had failed. Emily hadn't really had time to cook, and wasn't a very gifted chef anyway, so she'd bought a nice lunch for Spencer during the day, and then had stuffed her with some snacks while they were hanging out with Hanna and Aria, waiting for the night to arrive, and then had decided to prepare the sandwiches for the moment when Spencer would get hungry. She could get rather moody when she ran out of energy and food was unreachable. But – Emily knew the dinner part might be a let-down, and she prayed for the plan to actually work so Spencer wouldn't really think about it.
"We won't eat them yet. It's nothing really."
Emily shrugged it off, basically trying to play it down, and Spencer just stared at her in complete amusement and expectation.
"So?", she asked, leaning back while supporting her body on her palms. "Where's my present?"
"Anxious much?"
"Much. You already know that."
"Well, you're just gonna have to wait a little", Emily advised, suddenly a little nervous about the plan. She'd finally gone for a combination of ideas she'd gotten out of her brainstorming with Hanna, and she hoped both progression and timing were as right as they were in her head. "I told you to lie down."
Spencer rolled her eyes. "Why? We're not having sex, so I don't need to…" Then she caught another glimpse of the binoculars. "Oh. Stargazing. That's what we're doing."
She wondered how she hadn't realized earlier. A roof, the starry night, no decorations, and binoculars. They all were pretty obvious clues as to what they were going to do.
"You're always so clever", Emily mockingly admired, "you just kill me with your bright, speedy brain."
"Is that what you're running here on the roof? A stargazing session?"
She wasn't much of a stargazing person. In truth, she did enjoy looking around during nice summer nights like this one and all that, but never actually experienced any curiosity to spend a lot of time looking into the sky. She'd rather be making out under the stars than wasting time looking at them, as crude as it may sound. But she wasn't going to ruin Emily's preparations, so she guessed she'd have to play along. And, anyway, she was pretty sure the stargazing would end up in a kissing session at some point, as the law of birthdays demanded.
"Are you gonna question the gift before I actually have time to execute it?"
Spencer cocked an eyebrow in realization. "Hmmm, so it's a do, not a give." She grinned in girlish curiosity. "I'm actually pretty interested in whatever you're gonna execute to celebrate me."
"Good", Emily smiled back, turning again towards the backpack because she'd forgotten to get out the cushion. "Now lie down, please", she asked again, once she'd placed it where their heads would rest.
Spencer complied this time, and Emily mimicked the movement. They both lied down on the blanket, their heads and their hands touching. An instant of silence and contemplation of the sky passed before Spencer moved a little to look at Emily, expectant and ready to move on to the next step. Emily knew this was the starting shot.
"You pretty much know everything, right?", Emily said, returning Spencer's penetrating gaze. "You know all sorts of things."
"I do?"
"Yeah, you do."
Spencer rolled on her side to get a direct vision of Emily's face. "I do know you're making me very anxious about this."
"Don't interrupt me, please", Emily commanded, but her eyes were warm and sparkly even in the stark dark silence of the night. "So I was saying… you know almost everything there's to know about the world."
"I think you're magnifying my greatness a little right now."
"Nah", Emily denied. "I think I'm being totally fair."
"Is that what you're gonna execute?", Spencer tried another approach. "You're gonna praise me and my knowledge of all things in the universe?"
Emily couldn't help smiling wide at that. "Yeah, sort of", she accepted. "So I was thinking about the perfect thing… you know, to give to the perfect person." She took a pause to check Spencer's eye rolling and laughed again. "And I actually had to ask Hanna to give me some ideas."
Spencer seemed pretty taken aback by the mention of Hanna's name. "Hanna? I'm surprised we're not in a strip-club now, or getting drunk under the disco lights."
"Yeah, or getting naked in your lake house."
"I'd actually enjoy that. You should listen to her."
"I did listen to her."
Another suspenseful silence followed, while Spencer ran different images in her head, trying to make sense of Emily's cryptic words. Her lake house wasn't available tonight, mainly because she still had to do community service on Saturday morning. So it couldn't be that. Damn that freaking judge and that freaking orange suit.
"Don't worry, I won't keep you wondering much longer", Emily smiled again, moving a little closer for a brief brush of the lips. She was enjoying the suspense and the surprise it caused on Spencer, but didn't want to stretch it forever. "So… basically… I always hear you talk about millions of different things, right? And I actually listen to you, which, believe me, can be pretty hard sometimes."
"Thanks", Spencer said, more amused at the way Emily was conducting the explanation than at its conclusion itself. "I guess I'm lucky you're paying attention to all those tons of information."
"You're very welcome. So… Let me get to the point. I was thinking about everything you say, and I realized you never talk about the sky and the stars and that sort of thing." She took another pause to check Spencer's poker face. "And I know that's because you're not very interested in it. Like, you're actually more interested in everything that happens down here, right?"
"Kind of", Spencer hesitantly admitted. "I do know a couple of things about, you know, the usual stuff." Emily remained silent, so she decided to follow the cue. "You know, the Big Bang theory, and I don't mean the TV show. And black holes, and the northern star and that sort of stuff", she summed up.
Black holes. A shiver of non-metaphorical excitement walked up and down her spine.
"Yeah, that's what I thought", Emily agreed. "I'm interested here in the northern star. And in other constellations of stars. You don't know about that, right?"
"Just that they're up there", Spencer asserted.
So this definitely was about stargazing.
"Right, they're up there", Emily continued. "So I just want you to look at them a little while I tell you about them. Cause you don't know about this, so now it's become my thing."
"Your thing", Spencer responded in a mock tone. "I didn't know the stars were your thing. I thought you had other things, like swimming, and sleuthing, and, you know, other things."
She tried to give it as much double meaning as she could, and she succeeded, because she could see the spark in the eye and the slight tremble of the lip. But Emily acted as if she hadn't heard it, although she had clearly heard. Oh well, Emily was hard to crack when she was really focused on something, and it was so good to see her that focused on her birthday she could completely rejoice in it.
"The stars are also my thing now", Emily affirmed, unmoved. "That's why I'm gonna teach you a lesson. For your birthday."
"I'm gonna be taught a lesson for my birthday?"
"You're in serious need of people teaching you lessons."
"I think that's what our teachers are gonna do when we start school again."
"Nah, that's not good enough. I'd rather do it myself."
They looked into each other's eyes now, and Emily realized she had to start with her lesson already or else they'd be making out in a second and her plan would be ruined. So she made an enormous effort to direct her eyes at the sky again.
"Look", Emily said. "You know that one, right?"
She pointed at a bright, luminous light that resembled a distant streetlamp in the sky or a plane crossing the night.
"It's a planet."
"Right. So it's not a star. It's Venus. And that over there is Mars, another planet."
"Yeah."
"And that one's the northern star." She moved her head to check if Spencer was looking at it. She was, luckily. "People think it's the brightest star in the sky, but it's not. It's just a fixed spot there, and that's why people use it as a guide, because it points to the north."
"Right. The pole star."
"Exactly, Polaris", Emily continued, while Spencer sent her a sideways glance. It was actually hot to listen to Emily and to watch her all focused and authoritarian. "It belongs to the Ursa Minor, or the Little Bear. Shit, it's really difficult to remember those names in Latin."
Her hand reached for her cheat sheet while Spencer burst out in laughter.
"Are you telling me you're actually gonna cheat?", Spencer exclaimed, trying to get a hold of the paper. She couldn't, but there was a distinctive sight of words and drawings that she could catch, although Emily tried to hide it from her. "Did you even draw the stars there?"
"Of course, this shit is crazy difficult", Emily laughed too. "I had only one night to come up and study."
"You actually came to the roof to study?", Spencer asked. "This gives a whole new meaning to the term all-nighter."
"I hope you appreciate it when I'm done."
"I'm appreciating it already." She stared, once more, in wonder at Emily, who was herself peeking at the paper. "Are you trying to win a cuteness contest? Because I must say you already won that one months ago."
"I know I won that one", Emily smirked. "But it's nice to know I can win it all over again."
This was already too much, and enough, and Emily had already won every cuteness contest that might be held on earth, so Spencer suddenly decided to make a move and stop the stargazing. They were so close it only took her a millisecond to be on top of Emily.
"You're a winner", Spencer asserted. "You won the beauty queen contest too. You win every contest."
She leaned down to kiss Emily, and Emily did kiss her back, unable to put it out. But she immediately pulled away and tried to hold back.
"Let me finish this", Emily begged more than asked. "Kisses will come after I've done my speech and the rest of it."
"What's the rest of it?"
"You'll see."
"You're just trying to kill me here. That's mean of you on my birthday."
"That's because I'm a mean person."
And Emily smiled so sweetly, refuting every evidence about her meanness and her cruelty, that Spencer had no other choice than to go back to her position on the blanket, next to her.
"So", Emily started, "I got lost again."
"The Little Bear thing."
"Oh, right. Thanks. So… there's the Little Bear and the Great Bear, Ursa Major. And they're pretty well known so I won't bore you with that." She tried to make it faster, or Spencer would want to eat that sandwich and the plan would be a disaster. "Now… did you actually know there's a thing called The Summer Triangle?"
"I hope it's not a place where planes and ships disappear", Spencer sarcastically replied. "Although I might take you there with me if that's the case."
"No, it's not that", Emily said very seriously. "It's a line where you can see the three brightest stars during the summer. Which are…" She took another glance at the crumpled paper. "Vega, Alaris and Deneb."
Spencer didn't say anything, so Emily assumed (and hoped) she was just listening.
"Vega's the brightest star in the Lyra constellation, over there." She pointed at it in the sky, a bright luminous white light in the starry night. "Then, Altair belongs to the Aquila one, which means eagle, by the way." Again, she pointed at another star southwards, not so luminous as the other one, but still notorious in the clear night. "And finally Deneb is a giant, super bright star that belongs to Cygnus. Jesus, these names are hard."
She heard Spencer's soft chuckle again. At least she was having fun out of her, if not of the stargazing.
"You see the triangle?", she tried to make sure anyway. "You can see it without the binoculars on a night like this."
With her finger, she drew the lines in the sky, afraid Spencer wasn't really paying attention to her anymore.
"Do you see it or not?"
"Yeah, although it's a little confusing."
"Here, look at this." She allowed her to see the drawing in the cheat sheet, and Spencer's face lit up with curiosity. She seemed to be more interested in that than in the actual stars. "See?"
Spencer looked at the sky again and nodded, finally concentrating on the matter at hand.
"But you're not any of them", Emily said, now that she'd gotten her attention.
Spencer turned to look at her, delightful confusion painted all over her face.
"What do you mean?"
"That you're not any of them", Emily repeated. "You can't be Vega, because I've been thinking about it all night, and it's the brightest one, but it's kind of cold and bluish". She handed her the binoculars, enjoying her confusion. "See the color?"
Spencer nodded again, holding the binoculars and directing them to the star.
"I gave it a lot of thought", Emily continued, "but you can't be Altair either. I mean, it's also really bright, and it belongs to an eagle, which is kinda right for you, but I'm not convinced."
Spencer left the binoculars by her side, between her body and Emily's, and turned to look at her. She didn't seem confused anymore. The look on her face was more of warmth and amusement.
"You're not sure about me being an eagle or about me being bright?"
"I thought about others too", Emily replied, still not answering. "Antares is over there." She pointed at the opposite direction in the sky, and gave the binoculars to Spencer again. "It means Rival of Mars, because it's red like Mars. You're more of a red than a blue, right?"
Spencer held the binoculars again and looked into the sky zone Emily had pointed at.
"I am?" She held her breath while she contemplated the reddish radiating light that definitely distinguished that star from the ones in The Summer Triangle. "That one's kinda cool."
"It is, but it belongs to the Scorpius constellation. And you're definitely not a scorpion."
"I can be if I have to." Spencer left the binoculars by her side again. "As you know."
"But you're not one for real, you just try to look like one from time to time", Emily asserted, thoughtful and serious. "So, after a lot of consideration, this is the reason I brought you up here. To show you where you're in the sky."
Spencer smiled and searched for Emily's hand beyond the binoculars.
"Are you trying to win the corniest girl contest too?"
"I'm just teaching you a lesson." Emily flashed one of her secretive, self-satisfied smiles while she held Spencer's hand too. "See that other constellation I showed you? With the weird name, Cygnus."
"It means swan."
"You do know everything."
"So I'm that star? The one you mentioned before?"
"Nope. You're not that one either."
Spencer feigned shock, but did look a little confused. "So I'm not any of the brightest ones? Are you trying to say I'm not bright enough?"
Emily pointed now at a fainter, more tenuous star south of the brightest one in the constellation.
"You'll need the binoculars for this one", she said, handing them to Spencer again. "That one's Albireo. God, these names, they're killing me. It's the head of the swan."
"I actually can't see any kind of swan at all."
"Yeah, me either. People have a lot of imagination", Emily admitted. "But the important thing is that Albireo, do you see it?" Spencer didn't answer, but nodded after a couple of seconds. "It's actually two stars, but they shine as if they were one."
Spencer nodded again, her voice now a little excited. "Yeah, I see them."
"You see the bigger one is kind of reddish."
"It's more orange than red."
"Right. And the little one is bluish, and when you see them from here, you get this amazing contrasting color, which is kind of a warm, super hot amberish color but with a blue ray that kind of shines from behind, right?"
She'd spent last night looking at it, so she perfectly knew how it shone.
Spencer put the binoculars down and rolled again to her side, already losing interest in the stars. However, her eyes were shining, and Emily had her full, devoted attention now.
"And that's why that star's me? Because it's wearing orange?"
Emily hadn't really foreseen that possibility, so she frowned at the comment.
"No. It's you because it's warm, sometimes even kind of abrasive and burning too, like the red ones. But it also kind of gives away the bluish ray, and they're merged together, the same way you're both your heart and your brain."
She sensed Spencer swallow and breathe deeply, but since she didn't utter a word, Emily decided to continue explaining why Spencer was the binary star.
"And it's also you because it's the swan head, although I can't really see a swan either." Spencer smiled at this, and Emily returned the smile, but kept talking. "It might not be the brightest one up there, but it's the most spectacular of all and it's also surrounded by other stars. We're keeping both of you company."
Spencer approached her slowly until they were really close, a smile on her lips.
"But it's a double star, so you could be the other one", she said in her usual husky voice. "I don't mind being the little one."
"You're already that one and also the orange one. You're both", Emily said very seriously, holding Spencer's hand and taking it to her lips. "But I'm around, in the same constellation. Let me."
She took the binoculars to look at the binary star herself.
"Hmmm, I can't really see me, I'll probably need a telescope", Emily laughed, "but I'm there for sure."
A hand took the binoculars away. Spencer was smiling crookedly at her, so Emily closed the distance and properly kissed the birthday girl now.
"You get it?", she asked when they separated.
"I get it", Spencer said. "I'm a double star and I rock the world. And you're sexy when you study with me in mind."
The mere fact that Emily had set herself to study this during the night was a definite turn-on for Spencer; it was also the best way to make her heart flutter and her knees weaken. And the worst, or the best part, was that Emily probably knew about it and had done it precisely with that thought in mind. She was always so clever when it came to finding out her weaknesses.
"I was afraid you were gonna kill me for a while."
"I'm happy I didn't."
"So you're admitting to it."
Actually, Spencer would just admit to wanting to jump on her to shut her mouth up. She did try, but it didn't work. She was happy she'd let Emily talk to the end. It was a very cute present; it was sweet and subtle the way Emily always was about everything.
She kissed her again in gratefulness, and Emily received and activated the kiss with an open heart. But when Emily felt the familiar pang in her lower stomach, she stopped the kiss. They couldn't do this on Hanna's roof; Ms. Marin was probably watching TV or having a bath in the room right below them. That was far more outrageous than anything she'd think of doing up until now, as Spencer had said before. At least, during that night they had sex for the first time, she had a good excuse; she was drunk. Well, maybe it wasn't a good excuse. But it was an excuse for her bold, bad behaviour. Whatever they did tonight, it had to happen away from parents and from populated houses. And, anyway, there were still a few things to sort out. The starry night was not over yet. There were a couple of things she wanted to talk to Spencer about, and the roof was the perfect place, high and lonely and so close to the sky A would never reach them there. Or so she hoped.
"I need to talk to you."
"Now?" Spencer's voice sounded breathy already. "You talked a lot already and it's my turn to do the talking, and by that I mean the kissing."
Emily smiled and brushed away a strand of brown wavy hair that was falling on her own cheek, tickling her face and filling her nostrils with Spencer's slightly lemonish summer perfume. She looked into Spencer's eyes, thinking about the best way to say it.
"Is it so bad that you have to bite your tongue?"
"No", Emily denied. "It's just… I'm just worried that you're not talking to me about… the community service stuff. Is there a reason why you're keeping so quiet about it?"
The question took Spencer by surprise. "No."
Nothing else came out of Spencer's mouth. So there was a reason.
"No? Is that all?"
Spencer looked down and away, her eyelids a sudden curtain closing down the show. "It's not something I like talking about, that's all."
"And why's that?"
"Do you really need an explanation?"
"I know why you don't like it. I just wonder why you don't say a word to me about it."
"Well, don't wonder", Spencer replied, facing Emily's eyes again. "There's nothing to worry about. I just don't like being there."
Emily stared at her questioningly, and wondered if she should push it further. Probably not.
"It doesn't have anything to do with you, Em", Spencer clarified, guessing where the preoccupation might be coming from. "I'd tell you if there was something to tell. But there's nothing. I just count the hours till I'm out, like literally I count, I do."
Emily believed that. She could imagine Spencer counting down the minutes, the hours and the days inside her head.
"At least you could tell me that, so I wouldn't…" She thought about it, and decided to refrain. It was hard for Spencer. But if there was something else to worry about, she guessed Spencer would tell her. "You know it's only one more week."
She kissed her on the nose, and Spencer smiled, thankful that she actually didn't have to get into details. "Yeah, one more week and I'm done."
They intertwined their fingers.
"We also need to talk about A."
Spencer actually frowned at the mention of A, and as a result Emily's lips pursed, knowing it was maybe too much to ask on Spencer's birthday.
"I know it's not the best moment. But I've been thinking a lot, and we haven't really talked about this ever since you were sent to community service."
"What's there to talk?" Spencer sounded already a little curt. "A's happy I'm serving the community, but I'm happier I'm getting out in some days."
Emily sent a look full of concern. "Yeah, I know that, but it doesn't end here, Spencer."
Spencer looked down again, but then returned Emily's direct gaze. She was right, although Spencer didn't really want to talk about it on her birthday. She was happy. She was a double star in Emily's night sky. For some reason, the night always brought them good things in the end.
"What do you wanna do? Why are you worried?"
Emily rolled over on her back so she could find the words in her head, and Spencer immediately missed her breath and her fresh, clean smell and her close touch.
"I've been thinking about A's next move."
Spencer approached her again. "And?"
"We have a pact. You and I", Emily clarified. "But what happens if A comes up with something we're not prepared to deal with? We have to try to get ahead."
"Since when is that a possibility?", Spencer sarcastically asked, but then rephrased to sound more understanding. "We'll deal with it the way we agreed."
"Will you deal with it if it's about me?"
The question dropped between them as if it weighted tons and tons of stones.
"What do you mean?"
"I already know what I have to do when it happens again", Emily explained. "But if it goes the other way around, if A goes after you with something to hurt me, will you just stick to your side of the pact?"
"You don't think I will? I said I would."
"I know what you said. But we didn't really talk about the possibilities."
Spencer rolled over on her own back too, and started to think about the possibilities. It was true that, with the hearing and the orange overall, she hadn't really spent time trying to get ahead of anything.
A few minutes passed until she decided to face Emily again, so she moved her legs and positioned herself again on top of her. The enveloping movement surprised Emily, but if they were to talk about this now, they'd better do it closely, body to body and brain to brain. Star to star.
"The Danby letter. Is that what's worrying you?"
Emily sent what could only be described as a defiant glance. "I think A won't use that."
"Me either."
"There's always a chance, but A did that to keep me here."
"Yeah", Spencer agreed. So what was Emily's concern? "The HGH results."
Emily's face grew suddenly grimmer. That was her main concern.
"Wren silenced them", Spencer thought aloud. "And A wouldn't use them either, because there'd be a chance your parents would take you away from Rosewood too."
The sole thought gave her the creeps and sent a wave of despair throughout her body.
"But what if A used them against you? Or against us", Emily argued her point. "A didn't want you in jail either. A just wanted us to fight, or else to push us to our limits. So what if A tries to use those on you?"
"What do you mean? If it happens I'll go talk to you like we said."
"Even if that means that they're out?"
If the HGH results went out, Emily would be instantly kicked out of the swim team. And that would only be the first of every possible consequence. Maybe A would be ready to use them, not exactly as in trying to expel Emily from the game, but as a weapon against their unity.
Spencer shivered. "Yeah." Her voice shivered too in hesitation.
"That's what I mean."
Spencer looked right into Emily's eyes. "You want us to make a decision together? So it doesn't take us by surprise and we know what to do?"
A nod of consent came, but there was something else on Emily's face. A flash, then a flood of some other emotion. Was it determination? Defiance? Arrogance? It was the kind of emotion she didn't show so often, but sometimes it just came through her, like a sudden outburst of a black, fiery substance that emerged from her eyes and her whole corporal disposition.
"You want to do something so it doesn't happen", Spencer murmured, starting to understand the emotion that blazed through Emily's eyes. "What do you wanna do?"
"I wanna make them disappear."
Spencer gaped at Emily's decision in both fear and stress. "That means a whole lot of things, Em. For a start, it means you probably wanna steal them."
"Yeah."
A silence took over the air between them, but Spencer could sense her own ruminations of surprise and irritation. She didn't think it was a wise decision, but her whole body was tensing up to the sound of the argument she could hear inside her head.
"It's too risky."
She was still doing community service. What if they caught her stealing now?
"You won't come", Emily clarified in a commanding tone. "You have enough legal problems, but I'll take Aria with me."
"You won'tdo it", Spencer raised her voice, even more alarmed now. "Both of you are… you don't know how to do that kind of thing."
"Oh, right, I forgot only Spencer Hastings, aka the gangsta star and queen of crime, knows how to get into hospitals to steal stuff."
"Well, but it's true!", Spencer complained. "Last time we got into that freaking hospital we almost got caught and it was me who did everything that had to be done."
Emily sent her a very resentful look, but the arrogance was still there. It wasn't going away. She'd probably thought it through over and over and over again during the last weeks, since they had that conversation the night she got drunk trying to save Spencer from jail.
"Emily, no. If you get caught, you'll end up like me. Not to mention your parents might still get so mad at you that you'll be out of here for nothing!"
Oh, no, she wasn't going to allow such a stupid intervention. Not in a million years. They would get caught! Aria believed doors were cracked open with magical powers of persuasion, and Emily… Emily just… No, she would never allow her to do that.
They looked at each other in a duel of dense, binary-starred stares.
"I won't let you", Spencer warned very seriously. "You do not tell me on my birthday that you're gonna get into a place to commit a crime, and you do not do it either, birthday or not."
Emily didn't say anything at first, feeling guilty about the birthday situation. But then she decided to continue her line of thought.
"I already talked to Aria", she said. "She agrees with me."
"What?" Spencer's voice sounded like the high caw of the solitary crow flying the night. "Why are you talking to Aria instead of talking to me about this?"
"I am talking to you, Spencer."
Emily leaned on her hands to lift her torso and get closer to Spencer's face. She felt too small and encaged with Spencer's dominating figure, and she needed to even out the situation.
"We need to do this", she persistently argued. "We won't get caught, I promise. I'll let you say anything you want and order me around all that you need, but we have to do it."
Her face was so close now that Spencer felt dizzy with the urge to both strangle her and kiss her. But it was always the kiss that took over and won. So, when she was dueling Emily's eyes with her own, while she was still trying to impose, she knew the urge to kiss her would win, because Emily was getting so close to her on purpose, because she just wanted to make her understand why it was important for them, and Spencer could actually see it and was already understanding it. It was important for them. Emily was right: in case of being confronted with the HGH report, would she have the guts to actually let it out? Was that a strength or a weakness? Was that a selfish act, or an act of love, and what would she do, and how would she do it? She'd probably do anything to try to keep those reports from going public, except breaking up or hurting Emily on purpose. But was that out of selfishness? She'd tried to save Toby from A. She'd do more for Emily, she'd even break up if Emily's life was really at stake, she'd do anything; but the HGH results, they meant the swim team, and college, and they meant The Fields, and they meant Out Of Rosewood, and they meant so many things that Emily was trying to convey to her, that yes, she did see it was important, but still she wouldn't let her do the stealing thief act for which she wasn't really prepared. It was too risky. It was too risky and the cost would be too high. And they were too close now and she couldn't really think of an argument because her mouth was too close.
Still she fought back the urge, because there had to be another way to do this.
"There has to be another way. You're not gonna do this."
It was Emily who gave in first to the urge, and they kissed. They kissed slowly but also with too much pressure, with too much need to be a normal kiss, but it was still a kiss, sweet but somewhat stressful, a kiss that mainly said they just didn't really know how to continue the discussion.
Why did she have to do this? No, no, you didn't kiss a person when you were talking about stealing things from hospitals.
Spencer felt her willpower weaken and fade, but her brain still managed some control of the situation. Not even a kiss would shut her down like that and convince her that was the best option. She'd personally threaten Ezra's life if it was necessary, in order to keep Aria from helping Emily carry this decision through. She'd have to think of another way, of another way to get the HGH results without actually committing a crime, or else she'd do it herself, and as soon as the kiss ended she'd start thinking about it.
"I'll talk to Wren", she suddenly blurted out, breathily breaking the kiss.
Emily's expression changed from that of pleasured surprise to that of disgust in a single instant. It showed Spencer that she'd already considered that option.
"No way."
Here they were again: no way, no Wren, stern Emily versus stern Spencer.
"Well, there's no way you're gonna get into that hospital with Aria to steal a document you don't even know where to find, so I'm pretty sure we'll end up talking to Wren."
A flash of anger and not of arrogance shone through Emily's eyes this time.
"He already helped me." Emily made, anyway, an effort to sound reasonable. "I'm not gonna owe him another one."
The reasonable tone didn't fool Spencer, however.
"What do you care about owing him anything if you get the freaking HGH results without getting caught?", Spencer aggressively asked. "You wanna do this? Fine. We do this. We do it to get ahead of A. But we talk to Wren so he's the one who does it."
"There's no we here."
That one punched Spencer hard in the head. She thought she'd even flinched at the sound of the words.
"There's a we everywhere, and I'm the fucking double star of your sky."
Emily actually couldn't help but smile widely at Spencer's aggressive but cute punch line back to her. She had to toughen up a lot in order to win this discussion, but that didn't mean she didn't find Spencer totally adorable even in her most aggressive self.
She decided to shift the tone and offered a peace sign.
"There's a we everywhere and that's why I wanna do this." Spencer's expression relaxed upon hearing her words, although the smile had already done a lot. "And I don't want Wren in the middle of our we."
Spencer's aggressive drive faded out. Now she just sighed.
"What's exactly your problem with Wren? He never did anything to you. I haven't seen him since we're together. And still you totally hate him."
"I don't hate him."
"No, you despise him. But you're just jealous, and I don't understand the reason."
Emily's expression got serious and grave, but her voice sounded calm when she spoke.
"It's true, I'm jealous", she admitted, and Spencer's heart skipped a beat because this was the first time Emily actually admitted to having that feeling against Wren. "But it's not because of you. I don't trust him, I don't like him, I don't want him near you, and I don't want him helping me anymore."
"Emily, all right, I kissed him", Spencer argued back. "So what? It's not like I'm gonna do it anymore. It's over."
"I know it's over", Emily conceded, and actually hoped for it to be true. "But I just… I don't like him. I don't like his cute boyish looks and his cute boyish hair and his cute boyish British accent whenever they get cute near you."
Spencer burst out in a somewhat nervous laugh when she heard those words. They were so un-Emily, and still they were kind of funny and subtle in a very typical Emily way. So that was why she hated Wren? That was why she was always so defensive about him? And how many more times would they have to talk about this person whom she hadn't even seen in months?
"So that's the problem? That he's cute?"
"That you find him cute, and he knows it." And she knew it too. "And that he can't, obviously he can't resist you. And he won't try."
Spencer sighed again, trying to think of a counterargument. But she had a very good one at hand: love. She was in love. And she had actual limits when it came to kissing people, no matter what the others thought of her. She'd made her mistakes, but that was over. So there were two counterarguments: love, and trust.
"Even if I find him cute, I love you. I won't risk that. I'll never risk that, you should know that."
Warmth flowed through Emily's body and transferred to her eyes.
"It's not about you", she repeated, her tone much softer now. "If it was another thing, I'd just suck it up. But this is my thing, it's my problem."
Spencer lifted her hand to Emily's neck and softly caressed her with her fingers, touching the pressure points in the back of her neck.
"So it's not only about him being cute and about me kissing him. It's about your pride."
"It's my problem", Emily painfully tried to explain again. "So… even if he's gonna be involved, I'll be the one to ask him, not you."
Spencer started to feel relieved. Apparently, Emily was slowly considering the Wren option.
"But why do you have to be so stubborn about this?", she pushed further. "It's easier if I ask him."
"It's easier because he'll do it for you, right?" Emily cut off. "But that's not gonna happen. Not when this is about me."
Relief retracted again to its hidden place, and alarm shook Spencer up once more.
"He'll do it for me, but maybe he won't do it for you." She sounded as crude as she could, in order to state her point. "It's his license to practice medicine, Em, he'd be taking a huge risk."
Spencer, whose fingers were still on Emily's neck, sensed her nerves and tendons tense up too.
"Well, if he won't do it for me, it won't be done. It's non negotiable, Spencer."
Spencer looked away and grunted in disagreement, but finally decided to accept that solution, which was by far much better than the plan to steal the documents on their own.
"Okay", she voiced her agreement in a softer tone. "You do know you'll have to pretend to like him and be nice to him, right?"
"It's not that difficult", Emily sharply answered, "I'll just think about how cute he is."
Spencer rolled her eyes. "Come on, Em."
Emily embraced her by the waist and pulled her closer "Just tell me you won't try to talk to him."
Spencer moved her head, signalling a no. And she was again too close, and too agitated, and she smelled her hair, and she finally kissed Emily again, knowing that was exactly what Emily was expecting. Because they already knew how to dance this dance, and they'd already learned their moves, and they could argue and then kiss like it was nothing. Like it was everything at the same time. These were their dating rules: they talked everything over. They said whatever they had to say, good and bad, alarming or reassuring, on a birthday or on an ordinary day. And then they kissed, and it was even better this way because they always knew who they were and where they stood.
And because they were bright double stars, orange and blue shining in the summer sky.
"Where are we going now?"
That was the question that was forming in Spencer's head, since it was still her birthday. But Emily feared it because she had no idea where they could go now. Ms. Marin was in the house, and Ms. Hastings was in the other house, and so on. They'd already tried the car, but the car was no good when it came to going further than a make-out session. They both got too tense and worried about getting spied on and caught. But, at the same time, it was painfully disturbing to realize that, no matter how much they'd like to deceive themselves, they wouldn't be able to just stop it if they tried the car again. They'd do it, and they'd get tense and worried again, and it'd be no good again.
"I don't know."
"Let's try the car again?", Spencer asked, and it was her birthday.
Shit. It was still her birthday. And Emily had completely forgotten about the real birthday present, the one that was really meaningful and significant, because they'd started talking about A and about Wren after the stargazing. How could she be such a disastrous girlfriend? It'd cost her a life to think of that present and she'd almost forgotten about it!
"Oh my god", she voiced her horror while she checked the time. "You don't have your present."
Thank god it was still before midnight. The plan could still work, even if she'd messed it up a little by initiating a discussion she should have brought up tomorrow.
Spencer looked funny at her. "I thought the star was my present."
"No, that was only the preliminary present", Emily explained, already disentangling herself from Spencer's arms and trying to reach for the backpack. "The real present's here."
She took out a small box, delicately wrapped in the same Scooby-Doo gift paper Spencer had used for the gift she'd given to her some months ago. She'd saved it just to remember it, or for a special occasion, and here the occasion presented itself. From a fake birthday to a real one, from a Scooby-Doo gang member to another one, with love.
"I saved it", she stated, while she gave the box to Spencer with a sheepish expression. "I thought it'd be cool to recycle it for this."
Spencer returned a funny, curious look as she grabbed the box and examined it.
"You're still getting a gift for your birthday, you know", she said, "although I'll have to find another cool paper to wrap it."
"Just open it already", Emily asked anxiously.
Spencer complied, not afraid to rip the paper and to uncover the box beneath. She examined it too, it didn't seem new, but instead of asking she just opened it. Inside there was a simple, fine silver neckband with a small pendant that reproduced the head of Nefertiti. Her fingers touched it and she took it out, observing it in the dark.
"You got me a pendant?", she asked, but then the image of Nefertiti, the ancient Queen of Egypt, hit her violently and she froze. "I remember this. It's yours."
"Yeah."
"Your dad brought it from Egypt. You used to wear it all the time."
Emily smiled. "You remember."
Her dad had given it to her during one of his few leaves, after he'd returned from Iraq. He'd had to visit a base in Egypt and he'd gotten the pendant there, and she'd worn it out. She wouldn't take it off during one whole year, not even when she got in the shower. That was why the silver material was a little worn off, because it wasn't obviously so good. It was probably just a souvenir for tourists and visitors, but she'd never minded that.
"Of course I do", Spencer recollected too. "I always liked it."
"I know you did."
Spencer looked into her eyes, surprised. "And you're giving it to me?"
"I want you to have it. It's nothing really, but…", she opted for an explanation. "It was the thing I liked best of all the things my dad ever brought me. Although I stopped wearing it, I always kept it close. I always liked it because… I don't exactly know why, I guess it was because my dad gave it to me, and because of the woman's head, which is kinda funny."
Spencer laughed, but her eyes shone.
"It's not funny, it's supposed to be one of the most beautiful women in world history." Her eyes shone again, now more brightly. "But you can't give it to me, it's yours. What will your dad say?"
"I already told him. And anyway, it's up to me. It's mine." Emily took a pause and smiled. "Well, it's yours now, if you want it."
Spencer narrowed her eyes at her. "How could I notwant it?"
Emily lowered her own eyes and touched the Nefertiti head, which was pending between Spencer's long fingers.
"I wanted to give you something that was mine", she explained, and her voice sounded strangely weak and nervous. "So, you know, you'd have it and it'd be me. I mean, you already have me, cause we're dating. But, you know, this is… me, in a different way."
She looked up at Spencer again, terribly displeased both with her explanation and her voice. Maybe she should have bought something, a classic gift. You could never go wrong when you went classic, right? Somehow saying these things made her feel so vulnerable and stupid at the same time, like she was trying to recite a poem, or sing a song, or play an instrument – badly, with true emotion, but still without talent and skill. Why did people need to talk about things? Wasn't it easier to just understand things without talking about them? But she couldn't go back to the silent type, not on Spencer's birthday.
However, apparently her words had been touching, because Spencer did look moved, her eyes kind of teary even in the dark of the night. And she wouldn't speak. That was weird for Spencer. She usually said too much, in case she hadn't said enough. But, right now, she just put the necklace around her neck and struggled to clasp it.
"Will you?"
"Yeah."
Emily's fingers brushed Spencer's coveted neck while she did the clasp up. Their eyes met and again Emily felt weak and happy, but too vulnerable too, when she saw that Spencer had actually understood what she meant.
For two people who had such a way for the easy talk lately, they were both suddenly speechless.
"Thank you", Spencer remembered to say. She swallowed, gaining back her raspy, husky voice. "This is you, so I'll take good care of it, I promise."
She touched again the Nefertiti head, which was pending down her clavicle.
Emily smiled in return, and cleared her throat a little. "I hope it takes good care of you too."
Maybe avoiding bullets and stabs and arrows and other menaces. Maybe dazzling and blinding dangerous strangers and family in-laws, ninja ghosts, preventing them from coming close, preventing some of them from getting too close - closer.
Spencer leaned down a little to press her forehead against Emily's. A double star and a queen of Egypt. How could Emily come up with these things? How did she manage to break her heart once and again like this? She couldn't find more words to say, other than what she'd already said, but she was still thinking about words, other words, more words that'd say she'd never take the pendant off, that she'd wear it almost as a dog collar if necessary, that she'd never been given anything better, because no one else could give her that, only her, only that one person, when she felt Emily's lips on her mouth. Who needed words when there were lips and tongues? So they kissed, and soon enough they were lying down on the blanket again. And, if they kept going, somehow they were going to violate all the laws well-mannered people had established throughout history in the universe where they were starring. And it wasn't like Spencer even cared about that.
But Emily did - Emily cared about manners, and formalities, and respect.
After a while she stopped and proposed to give the car another try. Their story was written in the sky but also inside a car: they were cars and stars racing the night.
A/N 2: There's actually a stargazing scene in a story called "You Are My Sweetest Downfall", and it's pretty nice. But I thought this one was a little different, so I decided to write it.
A/N 3: Title inspired by "The Lucky Ones", song by Lana del Rey.