Chapter 6 – Somewhere I Belong

Angela was staring in awe at the little bundle of joy sleeping soundly in his crib. It wasn't the first time she gave birth, but she seemingly had forgotten how tiny babies were.

Her fingers ghosted over the minute hands that were unconsciously clutching the blanket, and she felt the sudden urge to pick up the child and shower him with kisses. However, she didn't want to interrupt her son's much needed rest, so she merely brushed her lips over the soft skin of his cheek.

Her child was the single beautiful thing that she had left now, and she vowed she would fight tooth and nail in order to protect him. She'd already failed her daughter, she surely wasn't going to repeat the same mistakes all over again.

And even though it was her fault that little David didn't have a father, she could at least make sure to be a better mother to him than she'd been to Charlotte.

Perhaps she would be able to persuade her husband, in time, to share this gift from heaven as well. In her heart Patrick would always be the father of her child, no matter how she had actually conceived him. Family was so much more than blood ties, and she hoped that he would come to see it at last.

No kid could ever take the place of the daughter they had lost, but this was a new beginning. She was sure that her son would love and need her as much as she already loved and needed him, and that gave her a new strength she had thought she would never be able to find again.

David could really be her last chance at picking up the pieces of her relationship with her husband, and not just for her own sake. Patrick had retreated into himself ever since Charlotte's death, what he had now couldn't even be called a life. This kid might be a blessing for him as well, a new reason for living like he'd been for her right from the moment she'd held him in her arms for the first time.

It might take some time, that was true. He still stubbornly refused to come and see the baby, but she would come up with a plan in due course.

As of right now, she simply wanted to enjoy being a mother again. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world, one she had thought she was never going to experience again.

xxx

"You said you needed to see me. What have you done this time?"

He still couldn't understand why he always ran to his wife's side each and every time she called him; it seemed that he just couldn't help it. The last time he'd been to Iowa she'd informed him she was pregnant, he wasn't even sure he wanted to know what the mess he would have to fix this time.

"There's something you have to see. Come with me."

Wearily he followed her upstairs, and he never saw it coming as she placed the squirming baby boy into his arms.

"I told you I don't want to have anything to do with your child."

"He's our child, Patrick. I'm your wife, and every kid deserves a father in his life."

"You should have thought twice before getting knocked up by some random guy then."

A grimace of pain crossed Angela's face, but she seemed determined not to lose her composure in front of him anymore.

"David can't be held responsible for my mistakes. I don't want him to pay for what I've done."

"Well, that happened with Charlotte. Are you under any illusion that it's going to be any different this time?"

It looked like he'd managed to get under her skin at last, for she turned pale as a sheet and abruptly left the room. As she slammed the door behind her, David started crying, and Patrick felt guilt wash over him at last.

He'd promised himself he wasn't going to hurt Angela again, but he'd just done it and now an innocent baby was crying because of him. Perhaps he was really the bastard that people considered him to be; the notion that the child wasn't his own didn't entitle him to behave like that.

"Shush, little one. I'm sorry. Don't cry."

Eventually he managed to calm the child down and tucked him safely in his crib. Then he grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled a quick note to his wife, apologizing for what he'd said but also reaffirming he couldn't handle his supposed fatherhood.

He was sorry for little David, but that was how things were. He waited until he was far away from the house before breaking down and weeping at long last.

xxx

Tears were still running down her cheeks as Angela found her husband's note. Her plan had backfired on her in ways she wasn't expecting; Patrick was more broken than he liked to admit, and he'd never been one to wear his heart on his sleeve anyway.

However, he'd made sure that David was asleep before leaving the apartment, and that gave her a small glimpse of hope. He'd always been quite fond of children, and she suspected he felt guilty about leaving Charlotte's little brother, in spite of everything.

She had to give him some space now; he needed time to wrap his head around the notion, but he would come around at some point. Patrick had a heart of gold, and that was exactly the reason why she'd fallen in love with him in the first place.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. Mommy will take care of you until your Dad is ready."

David only gurgled at her from his crib, completely unaware of her current dilemma. He knew nothing about the tragedy in his mother's past, nothing about the sister he was never going to meet. She wondered what Charlotte would think of her baby brother, and a small smile tugged at her lips.

Wherever she was now, Charlotte was probably grinning at the sight of her Mom speaking to a child that shared her hazel eyes and beautiful smile. She would watch over him, no matter what.