CHAPTER 14

Noel decided she just needed to sit in her tent and think. Think about Daryl and figure her shit out. But as Rick approached her after her meal she knew that she'd just have to wait.

"Can I have a word?" Rick asked with a stern expression. No one was really around but Noel could feel Daryl's eyes on her. She nodded to Rick and followed him as a lead them away from the fellow survivors. "I've done some thinking," he started as they reached their destination out of earshot. "What I've come to understand is that… you knew. And I need you to tell me." He said with serious eyes, "Now."

Noel could see his concern but his voice remained calm. She nodded as she thought of where to begin.

"You may not know this but my father worked for the CDC in Manhattan," she began. "And well, he was very… involved." She sighed. "Long story short, they figured out that the infection was transmitted through booster shots and vaccines. Those who knew, most likely the wealthy or those in the medical field, got the antivirus, if they had the money." She watched Rick take in this information.

"So the poor… those who wouldn't have had regular access to these, they aren't infected." He said putting the pieces together. She nodded and glanced past Rick to where Daryl was sitting; his eyes still on her.

"Like Daryl." She mumbled as she looked back to Rick. "Jenner did those blood tests to see who wasn't infected, not who was." She looked down. "He'd made it clear that Daryl and I were the only one's in the group not infected." Rick nodded and wiped his face with his hand trying to compose himself.

"Thank you." He muttered to her before walking away.

At least that's over.

That night Noel couldn't sleep. Her mind jumped back and forth between Daryl and Rick; both causing her anguish. Daryl confused her, she did want him but she also wanted to smack him and she was afraid if she got too close, he'd run scared. And Rick, she wasn't sure if he was going to tell everyone what he'd just found out and this filled Noel with anxiety. She was startled when she heard the zipper of her tent and Daryl stepped inside. He hadn't been able to sleep either.

"I know ya said ya need time n' shit but I jus'…" his voice died out and he shook his head. She watched him remove his shirt, pants and boots.

Really? She thought, once today already wasn't enough? She resisted his touch when he pulled her close but stopped when he just held her. He lay down with her; her back against his bare chest and she relaxed into his embrace. She felt herself drifting to sleep as his hand moved slowly under her shirt, rubbing her back, like he had done the last night they'd slept together. She was only slightly awake when she heard him speak; it was barely a whisper.

"I'm sorry," he muttered against her neck. "I jus'… need ya," he mumbled before exhaustion caught up with both of them.

Noel woke up as Daryl untangled his body from hers. He said nothing as he stood. She watched him as he pulled on his pants and shoes and her breath caught in her throat as her eyes spotted the scars marring his back. He'd forgotten, last night it had been dark and his scars hidden. He turned to face her, shirt in hand, searching her eyes for anything that would give away what she was thinking. Noel quickly averted her eyes from the additional scars on his chest and stomach and dropped the hand she'd moved to her mouth in the moment of surprise.

"Say somethin'" He grumbled. "I know ya saw 'em." She couldn't tell whether he was angry or not. "Tell me what yer thinkin'," his voice was almost soft, vulnerable. Noel's mind was racing.

What I'm thinking? I'm thinking that somebody hurt you and its hurting me. I'm horrified and disgusted that someone would do that to you. And they look so worn; you must have been so young. Noel felt the tears coming and bit them back.

"I… I don't know what to say… I'm disgusted–," Noel immediately realized this was the wrong thing to say. His eyes became dark, angry and hurt. He pulled his shirt on quickly and went to leave. "No! Daryl, that's not what I meant." She stood quickly and grabbed his hand. He just stared, his body shaking with anger. Noel had never seen anyone look so hurt it broke her heart. "Please listen," she tried, "Just let me explain."

"No." he said clearly holding back. She reached her hand to his face but he swatted it away. He couldn't hold back the anger any longer, "Don't fuckin' touch me you whore." He wrenched his hand out of hers and shoving her back. Noel stumbled back and landed back on her cot, her hands bracing her fall. "Little fuckin' cunt." He almost screamed at her before storming out of the tent.

Noel sat on her bed trembling; I really fucked this one up didn't I. She gathered herself and went out to find him, to make it right. But he had already left, to look for Sophia. He took a horse.