Disclaimer: It could not be less mine. The Walking Dead belongs to AMC, Robert Kirkman , Toby Moore and Charlie Adlard.
Author´s note: Thanks for the reviews!
But of course things weren´t fine. And the more he thought about it, the more aggravated he became. The matter mulled through his head for the best part of the night, as he was up in the watch tower, taking the graveyard shift. They´d been having the first real days of summer for the past week and a she leaned over the railings of the watch tower, staring in the dark, watching the walkers shuffle around near the gates, he enjoyed the lingering warmth of the summer night, still replaying bits and pieces of their earlier conversation in his mind.
"… and more importantly, it's not who I am anymore." That one sentence kept reverberating through his mind. It was amazing how far she'd come from the frightened, downtrodden woman she'd been back at the quarry. These days she was the heart of their community. It wasn´t until the Woodbury survivors had moved into the prison that he realized just how vital her role was to the group. Surviving this madness, if there was any hope of doing so, had long ago stopped being a matter of being able to trash as many walker heads as possible. The part that had come relatively easy to him. Sticking together, keeping what was left of the world as they used to know safe, holding on to their humanity when everything else around them was decaying into hell had become the greatest challenge.
He had long ago stopped worrying about them all being infected with the virus. What he- what any of them could become after they´d died wasn´t half as terrifying as what the living could become in this world. Shane, the Governor… the group of sick bastards that kid Randall had hooked up with… And even uncomfortably closer: Ricks delusional spells, Carl´s fading conscience… they all formed a far greater danger. And he himself still felt sick to his stomach as he remembered how he´d beat up that boy, back at the Greene´s farm, trying to get him to talk. The memory of that day still haunted him. For a fleeting, nauseating moment he hadn´t seen his own fists slamming down on the boy´s face, but those of his father. And had believed in that moment he was turning into him. But at the same time a twisted sense of fear and self-preservation had kept him going and made him carry on.
He´d felt the same emotions during the first two weeks or so after the arrival of the Woodbury people. He had been less than thrilled about this addition to their group, not trusting any of them as far as he could throw them. He could still remember the hate radiating from their faces as the Governor had edged them on, demanding that he and Merle would fight to their death. It had been so tempting just to wish for their small group to remain exactly what it was and keep those people out.
It had been Carol who´d worked tirelessly and endlessly to make it all work. To help the Woodbury people integrate. To iron out the million and one problems and obstacles that came with dividing space and resources among so many people. She was taking up so many responsibilities that over the winter he´d often wondered how she didn´t went bat shit crazy. She still assisted at most medical procedures and trained under Hershel and the new doc from Woodbury. She started teaching the small group of children that now lived at the prison. She took watch duty as often as every other, along with Beth she was Judith´s primary caregiver, she took care of most of the food preparations, she organized the laundry and cleaning of the place… she appeared to be everywhere at once and where he at first had worried she´d crack under so much pressure, he´d began to realize after a while that instead she was thriving.
She was radiant, constantly walking around with a damn smile on her face, beaming at everyone that crossed her path. With some uneasiness he became aware that he wasn´t the only one noticing it. She was much in demand by the Woodbury people, who all came to her with their questions, problems and troubles because she gave them a kind ear, a smile or a word of encouragement. The blatant interest in her from the likes of Tyreese and various Woodbury men had been making him uneasy for some time now.
It pissed him off to no end that this amazing woman was still held back by the actions of a worthless asshole. It wasn´t right and he had this compelling need to do something about it.
Slowly a plan started to form inside his head and the more he thought it over, the more he became convinced that he would actually be able to pull it off. There were a few obstacles to overcome, but he´d manage that. And it would be so worth it. He could do better for her than a five minute shower in a crammed cabinet.
By the time dawn broke his mind was made up and when Glenn came to relieve him of duty, he headed straight back inside the prison, getting his plan into motion.
His first goal was to get Rick on board. Which he figured wouldn´t be too much of a problem. Falling into step with the ex-cop who was currently checking the parameters, he announced matter-of factly: "I wanna take Carol with me on a run t´day."
Rick stood still and looked at him in surprise, his eyes squinting a little against the light of the rising sun.
"We're not short on anything at the moment."
"I know that," he answered a little defiantly. He wasn't asking permission. Just informing the man.
Rick paused, checking his surroundings for a moment. "Any particular reason?" he asked eventually.
Daryl looked away, biting the inside of his cheek, his gaze drifting to the grounds around the prison without really seeing anything, weighing his options.
"Last night she gave up her turn to have a shower."
He hoped it would be enough of an explanation.
"I noticed that," Rick answered slowly, 'do you know why?"
"She told me why," he replied curtly, not wanting to betray her confidence, feeling the other man's eyes on him. "She has her reasons."
"You're going to take care of her?"
The sudden, blunt question shocked the hell out of him and he squared himself before he met Rick´s steady gaze again. Rick was smiling knowingly, with a lightness in his look, a touch of heartfelt joy and approval and he realized he didn´t need to explain any further.
"I'll take care of her, alright," he grunted back.
Rick´s smile widened a touch. "Then go for it."
Not making any other verbal reply, Daryl nodded with a smirk and stalked off. One barrier down. Another huge one to go.
It was only when he stepped into the deserted backyard that served as an outdoors laundry room that he began to seriously doubt the sanity of his plan.
Apparently Carol, Beth and a few of the other women had been busy the day before, because the space was filled with drying laundry, hanging from clothes lines that spun from one side of the yard to the other and for a moment he felt completely at loss in this sea of sheets, shirts, pants and underwear. But eventually he spotted a crimson top that looked familiar and as he walked closer towards it, he was sure it belonged to Carol.
His next move was a bit of a gamble and he rather depended on Carol's sense of organisation in keeping all the laundry separated. He tore the tank top from the line, along with a pair of pants and after a hint of hesitation some panties and a bra that hung right next to it. It had to belong to her, otherwise he was in for it. Grabbing a plastic bag that was lying around and pulling a towel and wash cloth with him along the way, he stuffed the clothes into it and hurried towards the front of the prison where his bike was stalled, glad for this part to be over. While he was shoving the bag into the saddlebags of his bike he kept glancing around him nervously. No one needed to know before he´d worked up the guts to approach her.
Over the course of the morning he managed to add a bottle of shampoo and a bar of soap in there as well.
Now that the preparations had been made, it was time to find her.
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