Chapter 2 - It puts the lotion on its skin

The emergency decontamination program sent a yellow alert to bridge and security. A patrol of guards urged Lily-Lee to stand back from the door. When it opened, there was a cloud of steam that smelled of ozone and wet cardboard. From the cloud came Spock, dripping from clothes and hair. Kirk came running up to him.

"Spock! What happened?" Spock was silent, as he could not come up with any acceptable answer to explain his behaviour, especially to the captain. Instead, he just stood there, dripping. Kirk turned around. "Lily-Lee! What happened?"

"Well, um, we had... a spill. In the laboratory. Of a biological nature. Yeah."

"Something hazardous?"

"Oh, absolutely! Under some conditions, a spill like this could seek out mucus membranes of humans, at least susceptible ones. In the long run, it can cause abdominal swelling, severe pain and loss of blood. Not to mention a severe hormonal imbalance. So yeah, very hazardous."

"But, you're... all right, aren't you, Spock?" Kirk held him by the wrists and tried to get some response from the drenched Vulcan. Finally he said something.

"Yes, captain. With your permission, I will go and change now."

–***–

Spock was in his quarters, concentrating on suppressing his bodily reactions, when he was interrupted by someone at his door. He answered over the intercom.

"Spock? It's Lily-Lee. Is your outer dermal layer reacting in any painful way? That cleaning was heavy-duty and I worry that your skin might get damaged."

"I will manage the pain, if you leave me alone so that I may resume meditating."

"Are you already in pain? Don't leave it untreated, it'll just get worse. I whipped up a lotion for you, based on what I know about your sebum and the temperature of the water vapour. I got a bottle of it here. If you let me in I can apply it for you."

"I am not – nor will I ever be – in the mood for a massage."

"I'm not THAT dense! I put it in a spray bottle so you don't have to get touched. Come on, I covered your ass back there. It's only logical that you uncover your ass now."

"That is not logical. That is an example of a verbal pun that is in itself a non sequitur."

"True. But it's either me now or nurse Chapel later. At least I'm only interested in your chemistry and not "the whole Mr Spock, just as you are". Which is less painful?" After a moment of silence, Spock opened his door to let Lily-Lee come in. His quarters were very different from any of the others that she had seen and she looked at the drapes and art. The art was abstract and she found it hard to relate to.

"That robe is a rather coarse fabric, don't you have anything softer? Well, never mind, take it off and I'll put the lotion on. We could start with your back." Spock sat back down on the floor and let the robe drop from his shoulders.

"Wooo, that's green! Damn, Spock, it looks like a thousand cress seeds are germinating on your back!" She took the bottle and started spraying him in horizontal sweeps across the back. "Can you lift your arms? Thank you."

"How did you know about nurse Chapel?"

"I'm good at finding out stuff like that. Stand up so I can do the legs. Do you remember what you wrote about me and my people in your first report?"

"Of course. 'They only use their analytical skills for flock intrigues, coming up with new fads to follow and to tell which food is good to eat.' If you are of the opinion that I should apologise then I can do so."

"Not at all, it was spot-on. But I think you forgot to listen to yourself. What was the first part of your own statement and what conclusions can you draw from that?" Lily-Lee kept spraying while Spock pondered.

"I see. Your words in the laboratory were deliberate."

"Yeah. I don't "accidentally" let something like that slip any more than you "accidentally" touch somebody. I knew what I was saying, but the outcome was unexpected. There is still a lot I need to figure out, both about you and the whole-humans. Sorry. All done! I'll leave the bottle." Lily-Lee put the lotion on the table and left Spock to put his robe back on. She had been tactful enough not to do his private parts, including the hands, so he did those himself. Thoroughly. When he eventually returned to his meditation he had to face the fact that he had relived the memory again, despite his resolution.