* 94 * 3/12/13, 3/13/13

Lily sat at a nearby pond, lost in thought.

Or completely lost in translation.

How could she be so stupid? Of course Casavir was taken; she should have seen it in his hesitation to touch her until she practically ordered him to.

And even still, without making sure of anything beforehand, she had taken advantage of him, making him do things to her using the fealty he had sworn to her as a strategic chess piece. She had commanded him to be unfaithful in the name of duty. She was devastated.

She felt ashamed, like she wanted to hide her face from the world for a few days and punish herself like a small child. She proceeded to drink the entirety of her leftover wine in the following minute, an impressive feat given how little she had been able to drink when actively trying to just minutes before with Casavir.

Staring off into the distance, she didn't notice even when metal-clad boots made their way toward her.

"My lady," came his voice, not wishing to interrupt her thoughts but also wishing for her attention.

She looked up at him.

"What has upset you?"

Lily slowly climbed to her feet. Her eyes washed over the man who had been so good to her, such a powerful symbol of righteousness and trust. And she had betrayed his trust, turning his loyalty against him.

"Casavir..." she started, flipping the name over her tongue.

"Yes, my lady?"

"You have been a wonderful knight to me."

He was taken back by the unexpected and ill-timed compliment. Still, he nodded his thanks.

"It is an honor, my lady."

"Please don't call me that anymore," she pleaded suddenly.

Casavir's demeanor altered as he was struck utterly bewildered. However, he said nothing as per her request.

Lily then looked him straight in the eye. "Casavir of Tyr, I hereby renounce your duties as a knight, and no longer wish for your sworn loyalty to me." Her words reflected the formality of the fealty he had sworn to her when she first returned from the attack on Castle Never. As soon as she had finished saying this, she resumed her place sitting by the edge of the pond, holding her knees.

The paladin's jaw had fallen. It was as if a hundred-tonne boulder had been thrown at him, and he was forced to react with far too little time. His back became stiff as a board to hear these words, each a powerful blow in their own right. He could barely muster a reply of any sort, let alone one that was coherent.

Lily had had to do it. Knowing what she knew now, she shuddered to think what she had asked this man to do for her. She didn't know if she could stand having him right beside her at all times after that.

"You are free to do as you please, whether you stay or leave, Sir Casavir."

"M..." he started, but caught himself. "Lily...what has happened? What have I done? Please, allow me to know this," he pleaded, made desperate at how she no longer referred to him as a familiar, a friend.

"You haven't done anything wrong. It's me who has wronged you. I wasn't thinking, I was just feeling."

"What do you mean, you have wronged me? You have done nothing wrong," he said, almost exasperated. The emotions swirling around in his head were not pleasant in the slightest, and he was fiercely trying to fight them all off while retaining his level head with Lily.

"I have asked things of you that were completely improper, not to mention calloused. And I completely disregarded your situation in doing so." Lily wiped at what was possibly a wet trail on her face, but she was no longer facing Casavir, so he couldn't be sure.

"Lily, please, do not worry about that night, I implore you." Casavir then replayed her words in his mind and thought for a moment. "What do you mean, 'my situation'?"

"I'm so silly," she said sadly. "I assume the world revolves around me, and I accidentally pit people against one another."

Casavir had no idea what she was talking about. "Please, Lily. Tell me what you mean."

"I asked some...things of you, completely abandoning the common courtesy to ask if you were in love with someone."

The paladin's mind grew quiet. But, I am. Why would that make her apologize?

Then it hit him. It at last made sense: her dejection, and the renouncement.

She thought he loved Ophala.

She thought she had forced him to attend to her when his feelings lay with someone else. He didn't even know how to begin telling her that that was simply not true, was a complete misunderstanding in every sense of the word.

"Lily...it is not what you think."

Lily wondered how she had become this way, wondered when she had started disregarding the important details in others' lives to serve her own purposes, like sating her desire for desire.

When the beautiful, sad elf didn't respond, Casavir knelt down and drew near her. "I do not love Ophala. You have done me no disservice by your actions that night."

Still no response. She was truly lost in her own world, just as her father had claimed.

"Lily, listen to me!" he pleaded, frantic at her unresponsive state, knowing that with each second she blamed herself more. He grabbed her shoulders, albeit lightly, forcing her to turn his way.

Then, he kissed her.

Lily's eyes grew wide, and the pressure of Casavir's lips brought her back out of her daydream. "Casavir?" she mumbled softly, her voice muffled against his mouth. She was floored by his sudden, frantic determination to get her to wake up. Everything he had said in the past minute rushed through her acoustic memory in one swift movement, and she finally comprehended what he was trying to tell her.

He doesn't love her? Part of her heart curiously leaped at this realization, a sensation that confused her – one she really wasn't expecting, to say the least. She immediately wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back eagerly, savoring the feel of his lips, of his hands on her shoulders, and of his skin touching hers so warmly.

When they at last separated, Lily braved his icy blues. "Casavir," she began, still looking – and feeling – dejected. "I...didn't make you unfaithful to your lover?"

Casavir sighed heavily, largely in disbelief that she could even think that. "No. I do not...have a lover."

"Neither do I," Lily responded almost sadly. "But..." She pondered for a moment, thinking back to the light pressure on her lips. "...you kiss me like one," she added thoughtfully, almost resembling a contemplative child in that moment. The relief in her eyes could not be understated. She had felt devastated that she could do such a thing to him, and finding out that that hadn't been the case lifted a heavy burden from her heart.

Casavir colored, greatly enjoying that comment. He had kissed her to bring her out of her daydream, but he had admittedly been more than willing to do so. Reminded of how he felt, he couldn't help but to cup her chin and nearly kiss her again, made suddenly even more desirous at her words that painted him as her lover.

"Lily...are you now free from guilt?"

Lily nodded. Then, she leaned her head forward and set it on his shoulder. "I'm so relieved I didn't do that to you."

Casavir held onto her, as if she was the key to ending world hunger, the answer to all of the universe's problems.

"Are you also free from guilt about...that night?" He needed to know she didn't regret it.

Lily rested her head snugly against his shoulder, staring at the ground and thinking. "I guess so."

"There is nothing to feel sorry for. You have not wronged me," he repeated, as he couldn't emphasize this enough. The last thing he wanted her to feel about their emotional time together was apologetic. Lily only nodded.

"My lady," he began, chancing the title. When he observed no ill effect, he continued, "I beseech you. Allow me to remain your knight," he implored. "I...find solace in being with you," he finished safely.

"I will." Now that her mind was clear, of course she wanted Casavir to stay her knight. Just thinking of what it would be like to actually have lost him, to actually have to distance herself because of something she'd done...

It made her want to stay in his arms forever.

"Casavir...may I request we go back to your room, so you can take your armor off and I can get a real hug?" She longed to feel his body warmth instead of the cold metal of his armor greeting her touches.

Her sudden longing drew him immediately to his feet. "Yes, my lady."