DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight it belongs to the awesome Stephanie Meyers.

Special Thank you's to my beta Ms. Bond for dealing with me and my constant mood swings. I LOVE, LOVE you! Check out her Fic, Becoming Bella http://www(.)fanfiction(.)net/s/5366270/6/

And thank you to my Medical Advisor , Kelli.

Tell me what you think, good or bad....I can take it.

The day started off bad, I could barely move after my latest episode with James but I forced myself to get up this morning to make his breakfast. I was planning on sitting back and resting, but Alice called with an unexpected shopping invite.

Unfortunately, James heard me on the phone and had to make his presence known by asking questions. Part of me wanted to decline the invitation, but another part of me wanted to play the normal girl and go shopping with a friend. After I ended my phone call with Alice, I took an extra dose of Tylenol with codeine, it was mild enough that I could function and took away some of the pain, not all of it, but enough to keep moving.

What I didn't expect was for James to stay and meet Alice. He was giving her the third degree and I was mortified, thankfully, she never mentioned it.

I was having a hard time believing I was going to Port Angeles with Alice Cullen, Edward's sister. I vaguely remembered her from high school, we didn't hang out in the same 'clique' but when you're the Chief's daughter you don't have a lot of friends. And the few that I did have at the time I lost contact with since marrying James.

The shopping excursion was actually going well, I was having a good time and Alice really seemed like a nice person, but it all changed when we went into the new boutique 'Eclipse' and that's when bitchy Alice arrived. One minute she was being nice and the next insulting. It was like she and James shared a tip sheet on 'How to make Bella feel like shit', not that the items she'd chosen were bad, they were actually very nice and tasteful but with my bruises there was no way I could wear anything she chose.

I was just going to go in the fitting room, pretend to try on the outfits and leave when I saw the full length deep purple strapless dress. It was so simple and feminine, not at all my usual style at all, but I hadn't felt like a woman in so long and I decided to try it on. I was standing there in my bra and panties, suddenly afraid, as I was looking at my latest bruise from James in the harsh light. It's not like I had never seen the bruises before, but under these lights it was more vibrant, more real. I grabbed the dress and was about to put it on when Alice opened the door and walked in.

It felt like the floor was pulled out from underneath me. She just stood there and stared not saying a word for the longest time. By then, I found my voice and told her to leave, but she wouldn't budge. I had to push her out of the room, and with my side hurting it took what little strength I had left. I dressed quickly, the movement making me nauseous. I just wanted to go home. I walked out of the store, clutching my side, I hoped she got the message and headed to the truck.

Before we could even get 20 feet from the store, the damn fan girls surrounded Alice. Like the good rock star she was, she put on a happy face, but she had what appeared to be a fake smile. After a while one of the teens ruffled her hair and I swear I thought she was going to punch her. That's the last thing I needed, Alice getting arrested for assault and Edward blaming me for ruining his band's image, so I grabbed her and whisked her away.

As we walked to another store our conversation turned to the roles we played in life, this was a topic I could totally relate to. Every day since my father died I would pretend I was okay, and everyday since I've been married to James I would pretend that behind closed doors he didn't use me for a punching bag. I suddenly felt drained, I needed to be alone. I wanted to go back to my cell, me being out in the real world wasn't working very well.

I didn't remember most of the ride home, just thinking that I would be at the house soon where I could take some medication, put the casserole in the oven and go lay down. I jumped out of Alice's truck, which increased the pain, and ran into the house slamming the door. I took another 2 Tylenol with codeine and started dinner.

In my head, I heard an echo of Alice telling me I how I would be mistaken for a man, a lumberjack to be precise. I remembered James, having another one of his episodes, reminding me why I was a failure as a wife, even going so far as to tell me why I failed to keep Edward; I wasn't woman enough, I would never look like Tonya, I wasn't pretty, I look like a boy before puberty, basically I just wasn't enough. I hadn't thought about moment in so long that I couldn't stop the tears from flowing.

I sat on the uncomfortable couch wanting nothing more than to disappear. The heaviness in my chest wouldn't go away, I felt like a wounded animal. I tried breathing exercises to calm myself, I wanted to run to La Push, to see Jake, but I couldn't see him when I felt like this.

The silence in the cold room was deafening, my thoughts, too loud. I was heading back to the kitchen when I heard someone at the door. I didn't want to be bothered, but they became rather persistent.

When I opened the door I was shocked to see Alice Cullen standing there asking to come in. I was perplexed; what more did we have to say to each other? I opened up the screen door and let her pass; taking a seat on the couch she patted the cushion beside her. I hesitantly sat down, and she handed me a Chanel shopping bag, I briefly wondered if this was some kind of trick.

The last thing I expected was an apology, when she explained why she did what she did, it showed me the close relationship she had with her mother, and I missed Renee even more. Rarely did I think of my parents as Mom & Dad, it hurt too much, treating them as old lost friends helped ease the ache. I wondered if Renee and I would have been as close as Alice and Esme, I liked to think that we would have been.

I was so lost in thought that I jumped when Alice touched my hair. On a normal day a blind move like that would mean I was getting punched for not paying attention to James. But unlike James, Alice didn't try to punch me or scare me, she was simply offering friendship, and that became my breaking point. Between the heaviness in my chest from my overextended emotional state, to the pain in my side I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. I just cried, and for the first time in a long time someone actually held me. I tried to keep the tears from Jake because it caused him so much pain, but Alice held me so tight as if she knew I was breaking on the inside and was holding me together.

When James's phone call came through, I had no energy to sound normal. I told him I was watching Titanic and I've never been able to finish the movie without crying so he had no reason to question it.

Alice gave me a deadline on when she wanted to hear from me, much like Jake, but more forceful. When I looked into her eyes, I saw the sincerity; it was a look I hadn't seen in quite some time. She gave me one last hug and left for the evening.

"If you want to leave today, I'll help you, if you want to leave tomorrow just say the word. But sweetie, please understand you need to leave soon."

I knew she was right but my insides were shaking with fear. I wanted to be fucking free and I wouldn't move, I couldn't, I didn't understand.

*******

"I still don't understand why she wanted you to go with her", James said for the third time since he arrived home from work. I was just hoping he'd finish his tirade so I could wash dishes and go to bed. James hated for dishes to stay in the sink, he required his house to be spotless, which confused me since he was such a slob.

"We briefly talked after the concert, I guess she wanted to say hi while she was in town", I lied.

"Fine, whatever, but it's obvious you have no fashion skills. You dress like crap, what in the hell is she wasting her time on you for?" he said as he continued to insult me.

I remained silent, what was the point of denying it, even Alice hated the way I dressed.

"Yes you've made that perfectly clear, I suck", I said in a low voice.

"Bella, are you giving me attitude?" he said in that low voice I'd come to hate and fear. Please not tonight, I silently begged.

"Of course not James, you've told me I embarrass you when we have to be in public together." I finished quickly. He didn't move for a few minutes but I could feel his eyes on me.

"Have you seen him?" he asked.

"Not since the concert", I had to will myself not to blush, or he'd know.

"I'm not worried. I've seen the women he's been linked with. And I must say you don't even come close", he said with a laugh. I felt my eyes well up; I knew the kind of women Edward was seeing, beautiful actresses and models, Tonya seemed cute compared to his last girlfriend. It proved what I already I knew - I didn't measure up.

Thankfully the tears didn't fall, but my heart felt as though someone was gripping it tightly, I was almost afraid to breathe.

*****

I woke up to the door slamming closed. I looked at the clock and saw it was after 8am. Oh no, his breakfast! As I tried to rise, the nausea was so overwhelming I couldn't move. James was in one of his rare understanding moods and allowed me to sleep but I could tell it wasn't enough, I felt as though I couldn't breathe, literally. There was no way I could get away with just Tylenol; I needed to see Dr. Cullen.

By the time I made it to my feet I was completely soaked in sweat. Thankfully I kept my phone by my bed; I grabbed it and stumbled down the hall, when I got to the closet I thought I would pass out from the pain. I fumbled with the door knob but I couldn't get the door open. I leaned my head against the cool wood of the door closing my eyes when I heard a familiar voice call my name.

"Bella?" its official I'm going crazy I now hear Alice's voice.

I opened my eyes to see Alice staring at me with a worried look.

"Alice what are you doing here?" I asked still leaning against the closet door.

"I wanted to go have breakfast and head up to La Push. When you didn't answer I got worried and picked the locks," she said quickly. "Sweetie, what's wrong?" she whispered.

I looked at her, wondering if I should just say I had a cold and head out to the hospital after she'd already left. Who am I kidding? I'm too tired to lie today. I didn't say anything for a few minutes; she started to look panicky when I didn't respond immediately.

"I think my ribs are cracked, and I need to go to the hospital", I finally admitted.

"Did this happen last night?" she asked as she grabbed my hand, she pushed my hair back away from my face, she didn't have the usual pity look I get from the nurses at the hospital, only concern.

"No a couple of days ago", I said.

"You were in pain when we went to Port Angeles?" she shrieked.

"Yes, Alice", I sighed.

"Shit, Bella, you should have said something! I swear you're trying to kill me", she said as she placed a call.

"Dad, its Alice, Bella said her ribs may be cracked." She paused "No, she said 2 days ago", she then asked me "What have you been taking? Have you been resting, or doing any stretching?"

"Tylenol with codeine, not much rest and I haven't stretched. It hurts too much to even attempt it". Alice relayed the message. "Ok see you in few minutes". She hung up the phone and placed it back in her pocket.

"Ok, my father is coming to take you to the hospital. I need to get you a jacket though because it's still chilly outside," she rattled out.

If it was that chilly, then why was she wearing itty bitty denim shorts, a tummy baring tee and knee hi white socks?

"Why is he leaving the hospital come get me? I can just drive over there", I said.

"You are not driving yourself to the hospital Bella!" she growled.

Who knew she could growl?

"Besides Dad was at home, his car is low enough where you won't hurt yourself, which you obviously did when we went to Port Angeles. If Dad wouldn't have come I would have called Jasper, even though I'm hella strong, I can't lift you into the Suburban", she added.

"Please tell me you didn't call your dad on his day off?" I asked, not ready to move, I continued leaning against the door.

"Well, yeah! Dad would have been pissed if I didn't call him to help. Trust me Bella."

Alice had me lean against her as she guided me to the living room, she propped me against the front door and went into the hall closet to retrieve my bag.

"Bella, I can't find your keys."

"They're on the table next to the closet, they have a pink ball as a key chain", I explained.

"Seriously Bella they aren't here", she said as she re-entered the room with my bag. Sadly I'm a creature of habit; I always place my keys on the hall table, which could only mean one thing: James took them. This was his way of making sure I didn't leave the house.

As I was thinking of where I left my spare keys, another thought struck me.

"Alice, did you say you picked the locks?"

"Yeah, I told you that when I first arrived".

"Why would you do that, and who taught you how?" I asked, still in shock.

"Well, when you didn't answer the door, I got all freaked out. His car was gone and yours was still there. Bella I was worried, I couldn't leave until I saw you with my own two eyes."

Damn that woman!

"Ok, I'll give you that but how?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

"You'd be amazed what the roadies have taught Rose and me, we even know how to hot wire a car." She laughed, at that moment she seemed so worldly.

By the time Dr. Cullen arrived, she helped me into my black hoodie and found some shoes for me. I don't know what I would have done without her.

We heard a knock, and Alice hurried to the door to open it for her father.

"Bella", he said quietly looking at me with concern on his face.

"Hi, Dr. Cullen", I whispered. With Alice on one side and Dr. Cullen on the other propping me up, we began walking to his Mercedes. About half way to the car I remembered I didn't have keys.

"Crap, Alice, I don't remember where my spare keys are."

"Really, Bella? I just told you I can pick a lock. So don't worry." She said. Dr. Cullen looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Daddy, I've only use my powers for good. I swear!" she said raising her right hand. He muttered something about crazy kids and we continued down the drive. Once he had me situated in the car, he walked over to Alice speaking to her briefly. I watched as they hurriedly finished their conversation, and then she hopped in the huge SUV.

"More than likely she will beat us there, I always worry about her and that truck", he said.

"Alice has the personality of someone much bigger." I said softly.

"You have no idea. I believe it stems from have two older brothers, she never wanted to be left out."

"I always wanted a sibling; Jake is the closest I have to a brother."

"I think Jake is a great example of a big brother, blood doesn't make a family, starting with what's in the heart is how you create a family."

Dr. Cullen was right.

We arrived at the hospital a few minutes later; a wheelchair was waiting for me. Dr. Cullen escorted me into triage and with the help of one of the nurses I was lifted onto the examination table. Dr. Cullen ordered X-rays to be sure my ribs weren't broken.

By the time I was returned to triage, Alice was waiting. We didn't speak much; I tried to find a more comfortable position. Dr. Cullen returned with my X-rays and confirmed I didn't have any broken ribs, but 2 of them were cracked, and dealing with them wouldn't be easy.

"Bella, you know if you don't rest, this could lead to something more serious," Dr. Culled stated in a frustrated voice.

"I understand that, but we both know he doesn't care if you ordered me to bed rest or not," I said. Dr. Cullen didn't say anything for a long time, he stared at me and then at Alice.

"Isabella, you need to rest at least during the day. The more you move around, the worst you'll get. Sadly you know the consequences of not resting for this kind of injury. If I have to I will admit you in order to make this happen, I will," he stated. I couldn't stay in the hospital, last time I was admitted James made a huge commotion, and dragged me out of the hospital against doctors' orders.

"Dr. Cullen…"

"Dad she is going to rest today, cause she's coming home with us," Alice said with a determined smile.

******

True to her word, Alice and Dr. Cullen, who insisted I call him Carlisle, drove me to their home for the day. I tried to convince them to drive me back to my house but Alice pointed out I was locked out due to James taking my keys with him, and she was the only one who could open the door.

Esme and Jasper were awaiting our arrival; Carlisle had Jasper carry me into the house, which was a strange way to officially meet someone. Jasper carried me into the living area and gently, deposited me the couch. Esme had set up a resting area with the softest pillows I've ever laid my head on, and a down comforter to keep me warm.

This was my first time in the Cullen home, I had always declined Edward's offer when we spent time together, I couldn't explain I was already intimidated by him, going to his home would've sent me over the edge.

Once I was settled on the couch Carlisle sat down on the coffee table and handed me a pill with a glass of water.

"Ok, Bella you will feel the pill start to work in about 20 to 30 minutes. It's pretty powerful, so don't fight it." Carlisle explained, as I swallowed the pill and sipped at the water.

"What exactly did I just take?" I asked.

"Oxycodone, it will help you rest more comfortably." He said, as he watched me finish my water. "Bella just try to rest and relax today. Your body needs it in order to recuperate, ok?" I nodded not sure what to say to him.

"Its movie time," Alice announced as she came back in the room a few minutes later followed by Jasper who was carrying a basket. Jasper handed me a Sprite, a bag of chips and M&M's. Food was the last thing on my mind but I accepted, knowing I would only have the Sprite.

Alice sat on the couch with me, she place my feet in her lap, removed my socks before I had a chance to protest, she pulled out red nail polish, nail polish remover and cotton balls from her cosmetics bag.

"Alice, what the hell are you doing?"

"Mini pedicure Bella. Duh", she replied.

"Why?"

"Because there is nothing like having nice toes when you're not feeling 100%. And since we can't go get our mani-pedi's anytime soon, this will have to do." She said, she continued to work on my feet.

"Bella stop trying to fight it, we've all had to go through it", Jasper said as he was fiddling with the remote controls, Alice just snickered.

"So she's painted your toes too?" I asked jokingly.

"Yep. I went for a manly black, thank you very much", he said with a lazy enduring smile. "But that's how I knew I was in love with her", he finished and placed a kiss in Alice's hair.

How could a simple act of kissing someone's head look so intimate? James and I were never like that, at the beginning I would barely hold his hand, and now, the only contact I got was when he was angry.

"Where's the television?" I asked noticing that there was no television in the room.

"You're in for a treat." Alice said smirking as a movie screen came down from the ceiling. The screen had to be at least 10 feet wide and stretched 7 feet tall, bigger than anything I've ever seen in a home.

"This is our theater room, we can't go to the movies for obvious reasons, so we have an extensive collection here. I'm in a chick flick mood, so you're going to have to deal," Alice said.

"It's perfect Alice."

"I got so much shit for this movie but I love it!" she grinned at me. Without realizing it Alice had put on one of my favorite movies, 'The Lake House' starring Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock.

"It's one of my favorite movies too", I whispered.

"Okay you have great chick flick taste but I, for our budding friendship to continue, need to know where 'Ghostbusters' range on your list?" she questioned with mock seriousness.

"One of the best comedies of all time, it's in my secret stash", I confessed.

"Fuckin' right! Emmett and I can recite Ghost-busters. Edward and Jasper even sing the theme song."

"I recite it too! It drives Jake crazy, I always play Peter Venkman!" I said. I wanted to laugh harder, but I knew too much laughing would cause pain.

"Emmett does a killer Spengler, when he's back we're having a 'Ghostbusters' screening", she said, making future plans for us to hang out.

"I can't wait", I whispered. I'd entered uncharted territory when Alice and I became friends. I hoped the friendship would be maintained once she left Forks, it was going to be hard but I'd try.

I felt the Oxycodone working, the pain lessened and I eventually fell asleep. It wasn't a deep sleep, I hazily heard voices going in and out, Jasper and Alice in whispers, I felt Carlisle's checking my pulse on several occasions, I wished he didn't have to work on his day off.

Esme woke me up for lunch, even the thought of food made me nauseous, but she assured me I would feel better once I had something in my stomach. I knew she was right and told her I would try the soup. I closed my eyes to brace myself to sit up when

I heard someone calling my name, my head felt so heavy. It took all my strength to open my eyes.

"Come on sleepy head wake up," he said. I opened one eye to Edward carrying a tray. This was an unexpected surprise.

I couldn't stop myself from smiling at him as I tried to get up, despite how weak I felt. Edward must have noticed me struggling to sit up because I instantly felt strong hands on my arms and realized he was trying to help me sit up right. Between the drugs and being this close to him the room was spinning, I had to close my eyes to regroup.

"You ok?" he asked worriedly.

"Sure, sure. I'm on top of the world", I felt drunk, and everything suddenly seemed funny.

"Here, it's time to eat."

I thanked him and started eating the soup. Edward took a seat at the end of the couch and continued watching what looked like a Brad Pitt movie.

"What movie is this?" I asked.

Edward looked at me with a frown "Mr. & Mrs. Smith", he said.

"I've heard of it but never had a chance to see it". I usually refrained from watching violent films, but if I had known Brad Pitt looked that good, I would have watched a few times while it was in the theater.

"Really?" Edward asked astonishingly. Oh shit I said that out loud?

Edward smiled at me with his crooked grin, he hadn't smile at me like that in four years.

"So Brad Pitt does it for you?"

"Yeah, men get better looking with age, I guess that's why they're often compared to wine", I said as I was looking down at my bowl, only managing a few spoonfuls, which was more than enough.

"You should try to eat more," Edward said as I was trying to move the tray away from me, when I shook my head no, he got up and took it away.

"Well, I could eat more but I think I'd throw up all over your beloved Chuck Taylor's", I heard him laugh from the other room.

"Now that wouldn't be good, you know I love my Taylors", he said smiling and resumed his spot at my feet.

"You're so pretty", I giggled.

"Um.. Thank you. Personally, I was going for sexy, so thanks", he said jokingly.

"You've been described as Fuck-hot by your legions of fans" I retorted.

"Fuck hot?" he asked.

"Oh yeah, and I think my favorite has to be Eye-fuck." I burst into a fit of giggles.

"What the hell is Eye fuck?"

"You are!!" I was openly laughing and I couldn't stop. My giggles finally subsided and we both had smiles on our faces. It was fun to laugh with Edward again. But all the laughing made the pain in my side more intense.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, give me a sec, I need to not move for a while." I whispered.

"So are you." he said some time later. I frowned at him not understanding, "Pretty, I mean". I knew Edward was just being nice, and hated that he felt he needed to lie to me to make me feel better so I thanked him, and quickly asked him where Alice was.

"Making out with Jasper somewhere", he said.

"Really?"

"You'll learn, that Alice and Jasper will sneak off whenever they get a chance." He looked at me with a grin.

"Thanks for the tip", I said yawning.

"Anytime", he said as we continued to watch the movie. I snuck a few peeks at him and drifted off to sleep.

I was running deep in the forest, finally free but I could still hear him screaming my name for me to come back.

"Izzy get your ass back here!" he roared.

His voiced echoed through the forest, I felt as though I was surrounded, there was no escape route. No matter which way I turned I couldn't get away. Even though I couldn't see him I knew I had to keep running, if I could just get to La Push I'd be safe. But I was so tired, I knew he'd find me but I had to keep going. I made it to the cliffs, but this wasn't where I wanted to go. I needed to get to Jake's. I was all twisted and was about to retrace my steps when I saw James. I was so tired and he took everything. I turned my back to him and jumped.

I'm sorry Jake.

"NOOOOOOO" I woke up screaming, I realized I was alone in the room, I felt my heart pounding in my chest, there was an intense pain in my side, it meant I was alive. The dream felt real, I could hear James's voice, the way he inflicted fear to my very core and I just wanted it to be over. The more I thought about the dream the more my chest tightened, it was getting harder and harder to breathe. Tears continued to stream down my face, as I gasped for air.

"Dad! Somethings wrong with Bella" I heard Alice yell.

Carlisle came rushing into the room, along with Jake and Edward.

"Bella, I need you to look at me", I looked into his blue eyes. "It's ok, in and out, simple breathes, In and out." We continued with the exercise until I was able to breathe normally again.

"What time is it?" I needed to get home soon.

"A little after 5", Alice said.

"What? Oh my god, I have to get home," I said panicking, lifting the covers and trying to get up. The pain in my side intensified and Carlisle gently pushed me back down.

"Bella we spoke to James, don't worry." Alice thought this reassured me but it did the complete opposite, I became more agitated. If James spoke to Alice, then he'd probably assumed I was trying to get back with Edward.

"Bella, I spoke with James. He's in Seattle on an investigation that lasted longer than he expected," Jacob assured me. I looked up into Jacob's dark eyes. "I told him that after you went to the hospital, Alice brought you to the reservation to rest until he was home, since he had your keys. So it's ok, there's no need to worry."

He's in Seattle, I never heard sweeter words but it also meant I was locked out of my house.

"Alice, I think we need to put to use your lock picking skills," I mumbled.

"No need, you're staying here tonight", Alice announced.

"No, thank you for everything you've done today, but I better get home", I said.

"Bells, she's right. You should stay here tonight, this way The Doc can watch over you, and you'll actually rest," Jake jumped on Alice's side.

"I have nothing with me," I argued, knowing it was a lame excuse.

"Taken care of," she told me as she turned to Jake. "Could you carry her to the room we prepared?"

"Yeah, just show me the way", he said, ignoring me.

"Dad, I'm going to get her washed up could you give us another hour?"

"Her second dose is already wearing off, so try to make it 30" Carlisle explained to her.

Before I could respond Jake lifted me in his arms, there was no fighting it; I relaxed in Jake's protective grip.

"Lead the way Ace", Jake addressed Alice as she lead us upstairs. We walked down the hallway to the staircase, and I was able to make out glimpses of family photos. I wanted to tell Jacob to put me down so I could look at all the family time-lines. I was a photo fanatic, give me a camera and I was like a kid in a candy store.

Alice took us into a room that was the size of half my house. There was an oak four poster bed, the windows were enormous, the sun was setting and I could see the massive trees of the forest in the distance. There was a desk in the corner made in the same oak that held a closed laptop and a printer. Above the entertainment center there was a 60-inch plasma TV and I could make out a DVD player everything else was foreign to me.

Jake placed me on the bed, and laid down next to me placing his arm around me so I could use it as a pillow. We didn't speak; I could tell he was trying to compose himself.

"When did it happen?" he finally asked.

"Two days ago," I whispered. He didn't say anything for a few minutes; he lifted my chin until my eyes met his.

"You need to tell me these things. I can't help you, if you shut me out"

"Jake, if something happens to you-"

"Bella, James can't hurt me, ok?"

"Do you think its just James? Jane has made it very clear; she'll make sure you rot in prison."

"Bells she can't touch me, she can threaten all she wants, but it's not going to work. James is known as a wife beater, and his cousin needs to pick on someone to justify his behavior. If you're afraid of coming to the reservation then go somewhere else. I will help you, never doubt that," Jake finished.

Twice in two days help had been offered, as I told Edward, stop hearing and start listening, I should take my own advice. But one of my biggest fears was trying to run, and James finding me.

Alice came back in the room, carrying clothes and another basket of supplies.

"I'm starting to fear those baskets", I whispered to Jacob. He snickered.

"Okay, time to get you in the shower and then get you some dinner so you can take your pill", she reminded me.

"But I'm so comfortable, Alice", I whined.

"Sweetie, if you're going to whine you're going to have to do better than that. I have so much to teach you."

"You're going to teach me how to pick a lock?" I asked sounding hopeful.

"Of course! But you need to shower, and I brought you a tooth brush."

"Ace, you can pick locks?" Jake asked.

"Hell yeah! So you better watch out Black."

"Oh, I'm scared of you," he said with a chuckle.

"Oh shut up, could you take Bella into the bathroom? I'll take over from there."

"I can walk you two" I complained.

"How about I walk you to the bathroom door?"

"Deal!" Jake picked me up with ease and deposited me at the bathroom door. Before he released me I gave him the biggest hug I could muster.

"I love you, Jake"

"I love you too Bells", he said softly and walked to the door, before walking out of the room he sent me a wink.

"Okay young lady, shower time." Alice said, in her Drill Sergeant voice.

****

I woke up to a soft knock; the moonlight coming through my window provided enough light for me to see Edward walking in with a glass of water. I watched him as he placed it on my night stand.

"Hey", I whispered.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you Alice said she forgot to refill your water glass", he said softly.

"Thank you, I'm so thirsty", I said, reaching for the glass "A bendy straw?" grinning.

"Yeah, thought it would be easier on you" he said as he sat on the bed next to me.

"Thank you" I replied and took and couple of sips. "I hate all this sleeping", I complained.

"It's good for you," he retorted.

"I know." We just sat in the dark not talking, I could feel my eyes starting to droop but I wasn't ready for my time with Edward to be over. "Hey you're sitting up too high, scoot down." He grinned, and scooted down until we were facing each other. Again we didn't speak-just stared.

"Did you mean what you said that day?" I asked not caring what I said. He didn't say anything, but the moonlight provided enough light I could see his eyes were serious.

"Yes, I meant every word" he said quietly. I let his words sink in. He meant it, he loved me and I didn't believe him. I grabbed his face and looked him in the eyes.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I believed James when he said you had a girlfriend", I said.

"Holyfuck! You believed Tonya was my girlfriend?" he asked and I gave him a confirmed nod, which wasn't a good idea since it made me dizzy. "Bella, she wasn't my girlfriend", he looked like he was in pain.

"James told me that you were using me until she arrived, then I saw her at the diner telling Sue about you two being together. It wasn't until a year later when Jake told me about how she was going around lying and saying she was your girlfriend after hanging out at some frat party with you."

"Why didn't you just talk to me?" he asked.

"Honestly?"

"Yes, please", he said in a pleaded whisper.

"I didn't think I was good enough to be with someone like you, and I needed to leave before you left me", I said quietly. "Because in the end everyone leaves or I hurt them. I hurt you, I'm hurting Jake and I'm going to hurt Alice. I don't mean to, I just do."

He didn't say a word; I closed my eyes, waiting for his wrath. Instead, I felt his hands in my hair, he leaned in until we were forehead to forehead, and I heard his breathing become shallow.

"Dammit Bella," he said in a rough voice.

As he caressed my face, he wiped away my tears, I reached up to touch his cheek and was stunned, he had tears on his face. I thought knowing the truth would make the ache go away, but now I felt lost more than ever before.

He gathered me into a tight embrace and held me for a several minutes. I could feel myself drifting off to sleep; I wanted to open my eyes when I felt his lips against my forehead, a moment later I heard the door click.