I don't own anything from Doctor Who, and I hope you enjoy.
An entire planet made of the softest grass in the universe. That's where the Doctor and Clara were lying. She asked how it was even possible, and he said something about there being water that would always create more water under the crust, and there was a giant sun near it. They were protected by the atmosphere though.
The Doctor had his arm around Clara, and he was holding her close. Her head was nuzzled against his chest, and one arm was through across his stomach. He rubbed her shoulder with his thumb as they watched the stars. They were beautiful, and were so many different colors. The Doctor had already named all of them three times, so now they lied in silence.
Suddenly Clara asked, "How do you deal with it? All of the dying." Her voice was quiet.
He frowned and asked, "What?"
"I've seen you lose so many people that are close to you. Even people that you aren't close to. How do you deal with it?" She said. Her eyes were glazed over.
He looked up at the stars. He let his mind drift away, but it drifted too far. He was starting to think of all of the people he lost, and it was overwhelming. "You… you get used to it… after a while." He answered quietly.
She looked up at him and asked, "How?"
He looked down at her, and then looked back at the stars. "It's like… after… I just…"
Clara put her head back down and said, "No, its okay. You don't have to answer. I just needed some… advice."
The Doctor was reminded that she had seen a lot of dying too. Possibly even more than him. She had lived a thousand lives. He shut his eyes and thought. She needed him to help her, and he was. He opened them and said, "You don't get used to it. You never get used to seeing people die. Never. It just becomes easier to handle, or perhaps harder. I'm not quite sure anymore."
"But, all of the death you've seen. Unless it's someone close to you, I've rarely ever seen you cry about it." She said, still not looking at him.
"I have to be strong, Clara. I have to be strong to keep people safe. It… I don't like it… I wish no one would have to die… but everything ends." He answered.
Clara thought about this for a second. She looked up at him and asked, "Is that what you have nightmares about? Losing all of those people?"
He frowned at her. "What nightmares?" The Doctor said.
"Doctor, I've heard the screams when I stay over in the TARDIS. You… they're so full of… hurt, and anger… and sadness. I don't ever go to help though, because I wouldn't know what to do. You've come to me when I had nightmares, but I never come to you. I'm sorry."
They stayed in silence for a few more moments. "Yes and no." The Doctor finally said. Clara frowned in confusion. "I do have nightmares about losing people, but only the people that are close to me. Like you… and the Ponds. Other people too, but never the randoms. I hate that about myself. I'm… selfish, and greedy. I put you in danger… just so I can be with you. That's what I always do. I'm the one who should be sorry."
She hugged him. "No, Doctor. Don't say that. I need you just as much as you need me."
He kissed the top of her head, and stayed silent. He didn't know what else to say.
"If I died… would you be able to deal with it?" Clara asked eventually.
He squeezed his eyes shut and said, "Clara, don't talk like that."
She sighed and said, "No, Doctor, I need to know. Would you be able to deal with it if I died?"
He shook his head and said, "Clara, stop. I don't want to talk about you dying. I know it… has to happen, but I don't walk to talk about it."
"I need to know. That way I'll know if I should be worried or not."
"No. I would never be able to handle your death, Clara. It would tear me up from the inside out. I would eventually go mad with anger and hatred at the universe. I'd tear the person that caused your death to shreds, even if it was me. Especially if it was me, because if I had caused your death then I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I would scream, yell, shout, and curse. I'd never be able to face the wonders of the universe without you by my side, so I would resort to isolation. You wanted the truth, there is the truth." The Doctor looked bitterly at the sky.
Clara stared at him in shock. She moved up so she could kiss his cheek. "Then I'll make sure that won't happen."
He gave her a small smile and said, "You can't do that though. You can't stop death. Everything ends. Even me. I end, even if it does take a little longer than it does with regular people."
Clara sighed and said, "Then we don't think about the ending. We thing about the good parts." He smiled and kissed her.
She lowered herself so she could rest her head on his chest again. "Clara, I'm sorry if I scared you."
"Don't worry, Chin Boy. I'd do exactly the same."
I hope you enjoyed, and please review to tell me what you think!