CHAPTER 6
"Thank you George, how was your trip, did that little one give you a headache with her incessant chatting..." Albert winked at George, as he came down the stairs of the mansion, a wide grin on his face.
"Albert, I heard that, how dare you! Aww Albertttt!! It's so wonderful to see you again!" she rushed out of the car and ran straight into his arms.
"On the contrary, Sir William" replied George, "in fact we had a very pleasant journey" George smiled. "Now, if you would excuse me, I need to get ready to return to Chicago tonight and there is some paperwork to sort out" he continued.
"Indeed George, you are right about that one. I have already made a start on a couple of reports we need to submit to the Council next week. I will join you in my study shortly, if that's OK" said Albert, Candy still in his arms looking up at him ecstatically.
George nodded and walked into the house, leaving them alone in the courtyard.
"So, here you are at last little Miss Trouble!" he pinched her nose tenderly. "You are looking very well, if I may say so, the fresh air up at Pony's Hill seems to be good for you" he looked at her affectionately.
"And you Albert, my God you are looking so tanned, are you sure you were really working hard down South or did you spend most of your days on the beach?" she teased him.
"Ha! If only! Come to think about it though, there's an idea!" he said. "Let's go swimming tomorrow, we can have a picnic by the lake, what do you think? I haven't seen you properly in ages and we need to catch up. Hmm? Agree?" he said taking her hands in his and looking lovingly into her eyes.
"For now, however, I will have to ask you to entertain yourself for a few hours, as unfortunately, I cannot escape my many responsibilities even when I am on holidays!" he sighed. "Go get yourself sorted upstairs and I will come find you later. I promise you will have my undivided attention for the rest of the weekend" he said seriously.
"I will hold you up to that promise Sir William!" she winked at him cheerfully, "now go back to your precious papers and I will fill you in on all the latest exciting news from Pony's Hill later!" she chirped and climbed up the stairs to her bedroom.
Before long she was back outside in the warm sunshine walking through the fragrant rose garden in full bloom, and chatting to the gardener. She was so happy to be back there, her mind flooded with happy childhood memories. She walked all the way to the river, the same one where she had almost drowned many years ago. She stood on its banks reminiscing when a furry little creature came up to her...
"What is this... ahh!! Pouppe!!!" she screamed. "Pouppe, Pouppe, I didn't know you were here, oh this is such a delight!" she said joyfully picking up the racoon and holding him fondly. "I haven't seen you in ages, is this where you live now, aww Pouppe, I cannot imagine Albert can take you with him anymore, you must be lonely, my friend" she stroked his soft coat. "I was on my way to the cemetery, will you join me, Pouppe?"
She spent a bit of time sitting by the graves of Stear and Anthony. It still seemed incredible that her dear friends were gone forever. The surrounding nature was at its peak in the middle of the summer heat, flowers, birds, insects all at their most active; it seemed so unfair they were no longer there to enjoy life. She climbed up a tree and looked out into the open fields, the glimmering lake in the distance... she stayed there for a while, reminiscing, an unbearable sadness gripping her soul. She descended slowly and sat on the ledge of Stear's grave.
"But we are still here, Pouppe" she said aloud to her furry friend "and we have to keep going even if it's hard" she continued.
"Well said, my dear" she heard a familiar voice behind her. She turned abruptly, and saw Albert standing there, a kind smile on his face.
"I had a feeling I might find you up here" he said and walked towards her. He noticed her tearful eyes and put his arms around her.
She was grateful for his presence and the strength she drew from his loving embrace.
"Come now, my sweet", he said. "Dinner should be served soon, and I believe Mrs Perkins has made something very special for you" he attempted to take her mind away from sad thoughts.
"Has she, really?! Ooh, I do love her food, she is the best cook in the world!" she said matter-of-factly and got ready to go.
Albert laughed. "Candy you know what they say that the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but obviously whoever came up with that saying had not met you!"
Candy looked at him pretending to be incredulous then gave him a fake punch on the arm;
"well Mister, come catch me if you can or I'll eat your food too and there'll be nothing left for you!" she exclaimed and started running down the hill towards the house, with Pouppe loping at her feet.
Albert smiled and ran after her; with a few strenuous strides he managed to catch up with her. He grasped her hand forcing her to slow down. She was still panting but smiling at him, her wide green eyes looking into his warmly; without thinking he closed his arms around her and said softly
"Mmm, my little girl, I am so glad to have you here again! I missed you very much, you know. There is no-one around to climb trees with me these days" he added mournfully.
Candy was surprised by the sombre tone of his voice but content to be in his arms again.
"Oh Albert, I have missed you and Lakewood too! I am very happy to be spending some time with you again, thanks ever so much for inviting me!"
They walked into the house together, the smell of a delicious dinner about to be served guiding their steps.
"Albert, I forgot to thank you for the presents you sent the children with George today, they were so delighted!" Candy started after dinner, when they moved into the living room to enjoy their tea. The balcony doors were wide open to let in the evening breeze; a sweet mixture of floral fragrances infusing the room.
"It was really good of you to organise that, I know you have been exceptionally busy with work. Mrs Pony and Sister Mary send their thanks too; also for your latest donation, it was gratefully received."
"Ah, that's nothing Candy, please, don't mention it. They have written to thank me already, anyway. It is a pleasure to help out, and you know how fond I am of the kids, so honestly, there is no need to thank me" he added modestly.
"Anyway", he changed the subject quickly "how have things been up at Pony's, I haven't seen you since our party there" he said.
"Oh well, quite busy with the kids but I am not complaining, it's great to be back at the orphanage again. I have been working at the local clinic most days; it's quite small but it helps me keep up my nursing experience. Dr Martin has been up a few times, I think he enjoys the attention he gets from Mrs Pony, especially the whisky!" she said raising her eyebrows disapprovingly.
Albert chuckled " yes, I can imagine! No really, I am delighted to hear you have been working and I believe Patty has been helping out too, doing some teaching, isn't it so?" he asked.
"Yes, that's right! She is really good at it by the way, the children just love her! She went back to Chicago now to finish off her studies but I have a feeling we will be seeing her again up at Pony's."
Albert changed the subject; they talked about the weather and the garden, some of the places he had visited for business, the exciting news about Annie's and Archie's engagement. They always felt so relaxed in each other's company...
"Candy..." he began hesitantly after a while "how are you..." he asked slowly, leaving his sentence unfinished as they both knew what it was he was referring to.
She momentarily fussed with her crockery trying to think of an answer. Because the truth was that she didn't know how she felt anymore.
"I guess there are good days and there are bad days" she said quietly. "But I think the good days are winning..." she added with a faint smile.
"I heard he is doing quite well at the theatre" said Albert tentatively looking at her carefully trying to gauge her reaction. Candy paused to have a sip of the hot liquid.
"Ah, that... yes, I know" she sighed. "Actually... I got an invitation from Terry's mother to go and watch the latest play... after also getting a letter from Susanna..."
She put her cup down on the table, her hands shaking slightly. Albert took her hands into his... and then it happened. She felt all barriers and worries melt away, as if the months they had spent apart were only a single day; she opened her heart to Albert, just like she always used to when they were sharing their small flat. She told him she returned the invitation to Eleanor Baker. She confided about the hurt caused by Susanna's letter, about her reply to her and her reply to Terry, letters that were never sent and would be never sent. About the tearful nights and the vivid dreams. The emptiness of the separation, her lost hopes, the struggle to keep going.
Albert listened compassionately without interrupting. He knew he had to let her share her anguish, to take it out of her system, to work through each and every one of these painful emotions before she could finally be free from the ghosts of the past and truly move on.
Candy was not crying. Her voice had the characteristic resignation of someone who has accepted that there is no turning back and all that is left to do is pick up the pieces and try to re-build a life; a life where that special someone is no longer there, where yesterday's dreams can be nothing more than old memories of a "what if" that was not meant to be. Albert knew because he had been there himself but he offered no such comparisons. He simply listened as she poured her heart out and was pleased to notice that yes, despite her grief, Candy had gradually started to move on and it was only a matter of time before her radiant smile would find its permanent place on her face again.
Saturday morning was heavenly. Sunny, warm, calm, the sky a cobalt blue, the perfect day for picnic in the woods and a dive in the lake. Albert was up early, trying to finish off as much work as possible, he had to go on a business trip again on Monday. Candy found him in his study hidden behind a pile of papers a half-finished cup of coffee on his desk. Her heart sank. Poor Albert, she thought, always working, working, working...
"Hey, sleepy-head! You're up at last! It'll soon be midday!" he teased her looking up from his desk.
"Slept OK? Hmm? Have you had breakfast yet? No? Well, neither have I, so let's go and eat something together; and then let's get out and enjoy this gorgeous day, we mustn't waste a minute!"
They were soon leading their horses through the forest the sun peeking idly through the foliage and warming up their faces. After about an hour or so of languid riding they reached a small cove with shallow crystal clear waters and a fine sandy beach strewn with silvery grey pebbles.
Albert dismantled first. "This looks ideal to me, Candy, what do you think? We can leave our stuff on the grass here and the water is not too deep down this end. Shall we camp at this spot then?" he asked, carefully inspecting the surrounding area.
"Yes, let's do that" answered Candy. "This place is as good as any, and I am already melting in this heat!" she added, her face hot and sweaty.
Before long they were in their swimming suits ready to dive into the cool water. Candy walked in first – the water was a bit cold but felt refreshing in the scorching heat.
"Ahh, this feels so good!" she exclaimed. "Hey Albert, are you coming or what?" she turned towards him.
Albert was standing at the bank, stretching his arms above his head and soaking in the strong sun. He had a serene expression of unadulterated happiness on his face; he was free to enjoy himself once again, away from the burdens of his new, office-bound lifestyle.
Candy couldn't help but admire his muscular figure, his chest covered by soft, light brown hairs, his wide shoulders, his legs strong and well-defined. She moved slowly in the water moving towards him, a devious plan suddenly forming in her head.
"Albeeert..." she said enticingly. "Albeeert, you'd better come in or..." she started to splash water towards him.
"Arghh! Candy! You little minx, I am coming to get you right now, you are going to pay for this!" he chuckled and ran after her into the water.
Candy screamed joyfully and started to run away, but in her eagerness to escape him, she slipped on a stone and fell completely into the water, not to resurface for a few seconds. Albert got next to her in no time and pulled her out of the water, his strong arms lifting her gracefully. Candy wrapped her arm around his neck to steady herself; perhaps it was her idea but for a brief second she felt a bit embarrassed to find herself almost naked in his arms.
Albert spoke concerned "Candy sweetheart, are you OK? Did you slip, have you hurt yourself?" he asked.
"No, no, I am OK, it's OK. Really!" she added and smiled at him. "Thanks for coming to save me though!" He put her down gently still looking a bit worried.
Then Candy noticed something on his chest.
"Albert" she said seriously. "These scars... they are from the lion attack, aren't they? I was hoping they would have gone by now but..."
She placed her small hand on his hard chest and touched gently the marks that wouldn't fade. Albert shivered ever so slightly at her touch. He took her hand and brought it to his lips while looking straight into her eyes. He kissed her fingers gently and said gallantly
"what kind of a Prince would I be if I didn't sacrifice myself for my fair lady? These scars, my dear, are a badge of honour and nothing for you to be worried about. Now come on, let's swim, isn't it what we came here for!" and he dived into the water away from her.
They got out of the water and sat on the bank of the lake for a while to dry out. Albert lay down on his back, his eyes closed, his arms crossed behind his head, seemingly enjoying every minute.
Candy lay close to him and let the warm sun caress her body. They didn't talk to each other but she was feeling happy, relaxed.
She closed her eyes too and let her thoughts take her to a few moments earlier when they were still inside the water and Albert had held her in his arms... she scorned herself; what was so extraordinary about it, they've always had a special bond and Albert's arms had unfailingly been her refuge throughout her young life. Could it be the way he had looked at her... there was something about it... she couldn't quite put her finger on it but she thought she had noticed his gaze linger on her, just a tiny bit more than usual?
I am probably imagining things, Candy cut herself off. No wonder in this heat, it definitely does things to you!
She turned towards him, used her bent elbow to rest her head on her hand and opened her eyes. Albert appeared to be napping. She let her stare slowly traverse the full length of his body. Candy was surprised to suddenly find herself very interested in his anatomy. Sure, Albert was a very handsome man, you had to be blind not to notice it, but... he was her friend, and her adoptive father or at least more of a brother to her and... he was also very attractive and they were alone in the forest and he was always so kind to her... she felt her heart beating faster...
"Well? What do you think? Time for lunch?" Albert turned towards her.
Candy didn't respond, she was still lost in her daydream... she was thinking of his most recent letter where he had suggested they should go off travelling together. The thought of them spending so much time together, exploring new places, seeing new cultures was so exciting! Hmm...yes, spending time together... the two of them... She took a deep breath... and opened her eyes.
"Is there anyone home?" Albert winked at her, his smiling voice finally bringing her back to reality.
Candy looked at him startled but immediately went burgundy red from top to bottom, she was so ashamed, my God what must he be thinking of me... "I... I didn't mean to disturb you, I am sorry if I woke you up..." she said in a low voice avoiding his eyes.
Albert laughed "I am teasing, you silly! You had such a dreamy look on your face, I was pretty certain your mind was travelling many miles away... so no, you didn't wake me up, but I am getting hungry, shall we get dressed and get something to eat? I believe our talented cook has prepared a selection of delicious sandwiches" and without another word he jumped up and went to fetch their food.
She hid behind a tree and changed into her normal clothes still shaken by Albert's comments. When she returned he had already moved their stuff under the shade of a large tree and laid everything nicely on their picnic blanket
"My goodness, what a feast!" she exclaimed delighted.
They had just about finished their lunch when Candy said
"Albert, perhaps I didn't say it properly yesterday... I wanted to say thanks once again for your support. I always tell you about my problems and please, don't think that I take it for granted; I sometimes don't know what I would do if I didn't have you to share my troubles with..." she said sincerely.
"Hmm, but we promised each other to share things, didn't we? So you don't have to thank me, I am sure you would have done the same for me, Candy" he answered.
"Yes, we did promise" she remembered that day in the park in Chicago... "But it seems to me that we always end up discussing my problems, Albert, I am not sure you are keeping your part of the deal" she smiled at him.
"So tell me, how are you, how is this new, responsible life of yours, you seem to be spending loads of time either in your office or travelling".
Albert sighed. "Well, you are correct in your assessment, my life at present revolves around meetings, more meetings and some more meetings" he said simply.
"Unfortunately, there is little chance of the situation changing in the next few months, at least. Thank God, I have George to help out, he is a great asset, you know. Honest, reliable, hard-working, knowledgeable... he is more of a brother to me than an assistant... I would really struggle to manage without him. I am so grateful my father had the foresight to bring him with him from France..." finished Albert.
Candy remembered the shocking revelations in Albert's letter about George – it was still hard to believe this incredible story.
Apparently George had been a thieving boy in the railway stations in France... a long time ago obviously... Albert's father, William Ardlay, discovered a young boy had tried to steal his bag while on a business trip in France many years ago. That boy was George. Albert's father caught him in the act, so there was no point denying it. He started to talk to him and soon realised he was a very bright youngster, led to such behaviour because of unfortunate circumstances rather than malice... George was an orphan... and those were tough times for children like him...
Candy told Albert how shocked she was to read this information in his letter.
"I could have never, ever imagined something like that. George is such a gentleman, always so kind and helpful... it's hard to see him as a desperate young man struggling to survive...and then your father took him to America..."
Albert remembered his father fondly. "Yes... dear old dad... Always first to see the good in people... Anyway, as you can see it was a wise decision – and it was great for me and Rosemary to have some company – George is not that much older than me you see".
"Still... who would have thought..." she said pensively.
"Yeah, well, it goes to show that it's futile to try and judge people by appearances alone. It wasn't that long ago I was wandering around in that bearded disguise myself, if you recall!" Albert said amused.
Candy gave a little cry "well, the first time I met you, I thought you looked absolutely terrifying!" she remembered and laughed.
But you never judged me by that, Candy, he thought to himself. You accepted me and my dark glasses and my animals without any questions; you opened your heart and thoughts to me with total trust and sincerity, when others saw a threatening vagabond that had to be chased away... he sighed...
"Yes, George is a great man" he added reflectively looking out into the lake. "Another one I guess to have mourned a lost love too... poor George" he added.
Candy looked at him bewildered. Albert continued quietly
"George was very much in love with Rosemary. But then, I think everyone who knew her was in love with her, she was such a special woman, Candy" he said lovingly. "George knew of course that the difference in their social status would never allow for them to be together, but when has that stopped a yearning heart..." he added, a trace of bitterness in his voice.
"He was absolutely devastated when Rosemary died and dedicated himself to looking after Anthony as if he were his own son... yes, George has been very good to my family, Candy, you can understand now why I consider him like a brother to me...he was the one who gave me strength when we lost Anthony in that tragic accident and also when Chiara..." he left his sentence unfinished, suddenly realising he was perhaps revealing too much.
"Sorry, I have been going on and on talking" he said apologetically, "you must be tired of me already!" he added smiling. "Would you like something to drink, there is fresh strawberry juice here, it is still cold enough."
He offered her a glass; Candy thanked him and had a sip of the sweet, refreshing drink. She was quiet, trying to take in all the information Albert had just shared with her, it was like an avalanche had rolled down a mountain slope taking into its mass everything in its path. She felt incredible warmth in her heart for the man sitting beside her. All these years, she was the one sharing her fears and thoughts with him, and he was always there to listen, comfort and support her. She wanted to reach over to him and hold him and tell him that he too could share his feelings with her, that he didn't have to be strong all the time, that she, Candy, was there for him too. She looked at him questioningly – Albert didn't seem to notice, he looked absorbed in his thoughts, far away from the present moment.
He mentioned a woman's name... Chiara... he has never mentioned a woman's name before. Who is she... should I ask... I don't want to bring back bad memories... perhaps he will tell me himself?
"Albert..." she started hesitantly hoping to change the subject. "You said you studied in London too... when was that, presumably before we went there with Stear and Archie, eh?"
Her trick appeared to work, Albert seemed to be back to his old smiling self again.
"London? Ah, yes, that was some years before you lot came over, I am a bit older than you all" he grinned.
"Yes, I had to study Business and Law, to be ready for when I would take over running the family business. I didn't particularly enjoy the strict University rules, as I am sure you can appreciate, and yes, I too had my fair share of detention on occasion" he winked at her and she smiled cheekily.
"But in hindsight, it was a very useful experience and has proved quite helpful in what I am doing now. I was lucky to also be able to participate in a number of other activities; I made some good friends in the Veterinary School which allowed me to get a job at the London zoo later on."
"Wow, you make it sound like real fun!" exclaimed Candy. "And is this where you met that girl, Chiara?" she asked carefully, curious to find out more about Albert's old girlfriend.
Albert paused for a moment. It wasn't that he didn't want to tell Candy about his earlier life, he probably owed her some information about his past after all they had been through together... it was just that... certain memories were best left undisturbed...
He turned towards her and saw her big, green eyes fixed on him, a look of genuine interest and concern on her face. She looked so pretty with her hair down, he thought. He almost bent over to tidy some unruly curls...
"No", he said eventually.
"I met Chiara in Africa. When I was in London studying I was in love with a beautiful girl called Beatrice. Bea... she was a student of Law and we had some common classes. One thing led to another and we ended up going out together. She was a very intelligent woman, full of passion and very ambitious. Women were a rarity at University as you can imagine, so it wasn't difficult for her to have numerous young men fall at her feet " he reminisced.
"Anyway, I was young myself, impressionable and quite flattered that a woman like her could like me. Of course you know what it's like within the stiff University environment but we could meet outside and we went for lots of walks around the city, to the theatre, the opera, visited museums, galleries and I guess did all the kind of stuff people of our background typically do. Perhaps that was the problem..."
He paused.
"Perhaps I was too much in love to see that she was more interested in my name, money and social standing and who would see us when we were out together, rather than in who I really was..." his voice became more serious.
"Well, it ended badly when I confronted her about this. She only liked me when I was behaving in accordance with what she wanted, and my wishes were pushed over to the side. I am also to blame for not putting an end to it earlier, but anyhow... I was upset when we split up but not devastated. I think I was ready to move on, I was done with the emotional processing of the situation inside me. It was a good relationship overall at the time, and I learned a lot so for that I will always be grateful to her. Perhaps the more important lesson was to keep my family credentials to myself until I could really trust someone..." he said with a hint of cynicism in his voice.
"Of course all of this was quickly forgotten following Anthony's accident. I came back here to support my Aunt and face my own daemons for not doing more for my beloved nephew... I wanted to look out for you too, as I knew you were inconsolable..." he took a breath then whispered "I loved Anthony very much and yet I gave him so little while he was alive..."
Candy's eyes were full of tears, the memory of Anthony still stirring strong emotions in her heart.
She reached over and took Albert's hand into hers and squeezed it. Albert looked at her tenderly and caressed her cheek.
"Well, I guess you know some of the rest. I came back to London to set up some family business and to keep an eye on you, Stear and Archie; once I was reassured you were all coping OK, I was ready to go back to my travels. The next destination was Africa" his eyes lit with excitement.
"What a blessed landscape, pure, free, unspoilt! There were so many new things to explore and discover every day, do you know, its animals are amongst the most varied and beautiful in the world. Giraffes, cheetahs, elephants, gazelles, crocodiles, the mighty hippopotamuses...large rivers cross its fertile plains, huge windswept deserts make you lose any sense of space or time... there are high mountains rich in igneous rocks and precious stones, large swathes of rainforests enriching its vast terrain... its people are desperately poor, but proud, hard-working, hospitable. In Africa everyone is equal, we were all the same in God's eyes for there is no wealth nor titles or prejudice to separate us..." he added wistfully.
Candy was listening to him fascinated. Albert's words were full of passion for a continent he seemed to love so deeply.
He continued "before long I joined a small group of doctors providing mobile medical care to numerous tribes. With my veterinary experience and general medical awareness I could work as an assistant. This was one of the most rewarding experiences of my whole life, Candy! I am sure that you of all people would understand this feeling of satisfaction in bringing comfort to the sick, give courage to the old, help bring a child into the world..." he added fervently.
She nodded.
"I had been there for about three months when a new nurse joined us. Chiara... it means light, luminosity, shine... and indeed what a bright woman she was" he said fondly.
"Full of energy, always smiling, forever keen to help others. I see her in my mind's eye, her slender figure, long dark black hair down to her shoulders, exquisitely beautiful... she was Italian, I wrote to you about her, didn't I?"
Candy nodded.
"She was an inspiration to all of us, and the local people adored her. I can't even remember when I fell in love with her, probably the first minute I saw her" he said wistfully.
Another pause... Candy didn't stir, she wanted him to continue talking to her. There was a lot of love but also something poignant about his story or so she felt... where was that woman now, did she know that Albert had had an accident and had lost his memory...
"I was the happiest man in the world when she told me she loved me too" he continued. "I can't begin to tell you of our happy memories together, each one is very special, and there are so many..." his eyes looked suddenly sad.
Candy knew his mind was miles away from her. A little robin landed in front of them pecking at some breadcrumbs they had thrown on the ground minutes earlier. Albert didn't even notice...
"Albert... what happened?" she asked timidly.
Albert didn't answer immediately. He picked up a flat pebble and threw it into the lake. It jumped two, three times then sank. He sat there observing the concentric circles formed on the surface of the clear blue water. When he spoke again his voice was low, hoarse...
"I and another couple of our medical team had gone away for a few days to visit a few villages nearby. I also wanted to go into the capital to buy something...when we came back... our base had been destroyed, the whole settlement had essentially been burned to the ground... tribal wars... a vicious attack... all our colleagues had been killed... my beautiful girl had been murdered only because she had happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time... the engagement ring weighed too heavy in my pocket, for this is what I had gone to buy for her. I was planning to ask her to be my wife when I would return, but I was too late... I was too late..." he hid his face in his hands momentarily then looked out on the horizon again... he went quiet...
Candy was sitting next to him in stunned silence. Albert's girlfriend was killed? She was too shocked to say anything, she just sat there looking at him horrified, not knowing what to say to make him feel better. All she could think of was that in all this time that she had known him, Albert had suffered unspeakable pain; first he lost his parents, then his beloved sister, then one by one his two nephews... and then the woman he loved so much he wanted to marry...
Why is life so hard? Why do awful things happen to good people? She almost wanted to scream... it is so unfair... and yet... he never complained about anything, he always somehow found the strength to keep going, he had the courage to come and comfort her when his world was also falling to pieces. Albert my dear friend, she thought, I wish I could tell you how much your love and care mean to me, my world is a better place because you are in it, even if I cannot always put it into the right words...
"After these events it was no longer possible to stay where I was. I left the village and wandered the cities, a lost and broken man. I don't even remember where I went or what I did. I was so angry! With her for leaving me, with me for failing her, with the whole world for taking away our dreams, our love..."
"From the little I can recall, I was probably drunk most of the time, getting into stupid fights, sleeping rough, seeking comfort in the arms of other women but her face was haunting my dreams and my nightmares each and every waking moment."
"The simple truth of the matter is that I had failed her, Candy..." his voice trembled. "I failed to protect her when she needed me the most, her love had made me think I was invincible but ... I failed her..." Albert voiced the phrase almost unconsciously.
Tears were rolling down Candy's eyes. She thought that she had had a tough life and her separation with Terry was devastating, but her troubles paled in comparison to what Albert had gone through.
There was a long silence. Albert composed himself and went on; he was calmer now, more centred.
"Some weeks later George came to find me and I dare say that contact probably saved my life. We agreed that I would go to Italy to see Chiara's parents and give them her few belongings, and then return to Chicago to resume my duties as head of the Ardlay family."
"I went back to the little village it had all happened one last time and was amazed to see the resilience of the local people. Those who had lost everything, who barely had a slice of bread to last them a day, were there, and were trying to rebuild their village and their lives. It put me to shame, there I was, a wealthy young man travelling the world pretending to be its saviour, I, who would never face a millionth of the hardships these people faced on a daily basis; and somehow they found the strength to put this evil behind them and move on" he continued.
"I said goodbye to the kind folk of our village and visited Chiara's grave one last time, then travelled over to Italy. The war had started recently and those were dangerous times. Her parents, though destroyed with grief, welcomed me as they would have done a beloved son. We struggled to communicate during my short visit, but before I left I gave them the engagement ring; I wanted them to know that their daughter had been a very special person, she had been a very special person to me..." he finished.
He went silent again for a few minutes... reminiscing... his voice sounded more matter-of-fact when he spoke again.
"I guess you know the rest better than me, Candy. Our train was bombed and I miraculously survived only to lose my memory. In some ways, this sheltered me from the terrible pain of what had happened during my last days in Africa, so maybe I was lucky after all to have had amnesia for a while. And then I was way too busy to sit and rethink about all that."
"Time... time has the power to heal all wounds, Candy. Remember that...life leaves scars in our soul, not dissimilar to those you saw on my chest, but after a while all that's left is a mark and there is no pain" Albert said philosophically.
He was drained talking about a past too painful to bear, but oddly, he was also relieved to have shared his grief with Candy; as if a burden had been taken off his shoulders... my sweet, little girl, he thought affectionately, if there is one person in the world I feel I could share the pain with, it would have to be you...
He turned towards her slowly and saw her face covered in tears. He gave her a wide smile and a hug.
"Hey, hey, who is crying now? Shhh, shhh, it's all in the past Candy, I am not upset about it anymore, please, don't cry, I am fine" he held her tight.
She clung onto him, as if this would be enough to take all sorrow away from his heart; she gave him a shy kiss on the cheek.
"Mmm, what was that for?" he said pleased.
"If I knew that sad stories can bring me such delightful rewards, then I would have told you many more!" he said amused. "Actually, did I ever mention how my unparalleled skill and ingenuity surely saved the lives of two poor peasants once..." he started, with a mock pompous voice.
"ALBERT! You are terrible" she screamed, now half-laughing too. She tried to push him with the end result of both of them falling backwards; he pulled her with him and with a startled yelp she found herself flat on top of him.
Albert was still laughing holding her close to him "OK, OK you win! I surrender!" he said among fresh bursts of laughter. With a gentle manoeuvre he rolled them round; he gently pinched her nose and said "come you lazy, Annie and Archie will be here any time now, we need to get going".
They rode their horses back to the house mostly in silence. Candy was still overwhelmed by Albert's revelations about his past. She realised she had known so little about him. With the exception of the period when he had amnesia and she took care of him, she had never been able to repay him his kindness, to be next to him as a true friend, to support him when he needed it. She was determined to redress the balance from now on, yes, she would do anything she could to help him be happy, he deserved it more than anyone she knew!
She looked up at him, as he rode elegantly in front of her. Nothing in his stature betrayed anything about their earlier conversation and the anguish he must have surely felt while remembering all these extremely painful events; instead he was his old, usual self, making the occasional comment about tree and bird species and the very warm weather, laughing and teasing her. She felt deep admiration for him in her heart...
You are so strong Albert, she thought. You are a wonderful man, intelligent, caring, passionate, but also incredibly strong. I don't know how you manage to stay focussed on the future and accept life's torments with so much endurance and wisdom... my dear Albert... I promise you I will recover too and I will face tomorrow with courage and faith. I will not let today's sorrow dictate tomorrow's choices; I want you to be proud of me Albert!
They had just about reached the stables when they heard happy voices from the gardens.
"Ah, here they are, at last!!" exclaimed Annie enthusiastically.
"Annie! Archie!" she shouted and galloped towards them, Albert following behind her grinning.
The two girls ran into each other's arms,
"Oh, I have missed you so much! And before I forget congratulations on your engagement! What great news!" she said.
"Indeed, congratulations to you both" said Albert who had just dismounted from his horse. "Did we keep you waiting long? We went for a swim to escape the sweltering heat and lost track of the time" he added.
"No, not at all, we just arrived to be honest" said Archie "and thank you very much for your kind wishes, it means a lot to us" he added putting his arm around Annie's waist protectively.
"Come on then, let's go inside, I am gasping for some cold juice" said Candy.