Of course, why didn't I think of it before! The answer to my problems had been staring at me for Kami knows how long, yet like an unskilled genin on the battlefield, I had overlooked the obvious.

I suppose a bit of credit ought to go to both Kisame and, much as it pains me to admit, Deidara. The sculptor had been the one to lay the circuitry in my mind; but Kisame's passing comment was what flipped the switch and turned on the light bulb.

I do believe I'm overusing metaphors here.

The fact of the matter was this; I had to make Kisame fall in love with me. There is no greater binding force amongst humans than emotional attachment, as I had seen proven countless times before. If the shark forged a bond with me, it would eliminate the risk of him exterminating me, while at the same time giving me a bit more control over the killing machine that was my partner. The thought was enough to make me smile, but I withheld it; aside from the fact that I would never dare openly show emotions, Kisame might have become more suspicious than he already was.

The man had seen me falter in our target's room, and was eyeing me carefully on the way back to the base. No doubt he suspected that I was about to lash out at him in my usual fashion; but, I didn't so much as look at him. I was already laying the ground work for what would hopefully become a prosperous relationship. At least, for me.

I could tell he was getting more and more unnerved as our trek continued. He was almost like a soldier lying in wait on the battlefield, becoming so desperate for something, anything to happen, that there is almost a sense of relief in their heart when the fight itself begins.

That was a simile, not a metaphor. Don't chastise me for it.

I finally decided to grant the shark his unspoken request for a "battle", and turned to face him. "Yes?" I asked calmly.

Sure enough, the relief was there in his eyes for the briefest of seconds, before replaced by fear. "Nothing!" My eyes narrowed, and he visibly grew more uneasy. We were standing in the middle of a road, far away from any forms of civilization that could have distracted us, or provided an escape for the shark. In short; we were not moving until he confessed what I already knew.

"I'm sorry about the girl," he apologized, looking to the ground, as if to act humble. The truth was, he was tactfully trying to avoid looking into my eyes, for fear of my Sharingan.

"Don't let it happen again," I said, careful to keep a threatening tone out of my voice.

"Right, Itachi-san," he said, looking up at me with just a hint of surprise on his face. No doubt he had expected to receive either a lecture or death threat for his earlier slip-up, perhaps even both.

Seeing no need to continue this conversation, I turned back around, and left thoughts of Kisame behind for a time. I still had a report to outline, after all.

-

The report was easy enough to write. I was careful to omit my tortures (as I always did) before turning it in to Sir Leader. Once the file was in Pein's hand, I exited the office, shutting the door behind me. Now, I could further plot my actions.

As I slowly made my way down the deserted hall towards the room Kisame and I shared, I realized that this would not be an easy victory. Not only would I have to convince my partner to fall for me, a cold and distant male, but I would also be forced to show emotions, perhaps even public displays of affection. Most of all, if I didn't play everything perfectly, it could and would come crumbling down about my ears. Kisame might even find out what I had been plotting, and bring my fears to life.

Like a grand chess master, I would have to think each move through carefully, and be patient. Pawns would have to be sacrificed, and even my more valuable pieces might fall; all of which I could accept, as long as I emerged the victor in this game.

With these thoughts rushing about in my head, I entered our room, prepared to put my partner in checkmate.