I'll admit, I was still fairly certain that Itachi was going to tear me limb from limb when he returned to our room. I could almost picture a check list in his head: report to Pein, come back to room, kill partner, dispose of body, make dinner, and go to bed. Laugh if you want, but I am not kidding.
I watched him out of the corner of my eye, pretending to be focused on cleaning rotting hunks of flesh from my sword. I need to learn to do that immediately after our missions, or else Samehada starts to stink like road kill. In fact- oh wait, the story.
Itachi came back into the room and walked straight to his bed. No glares, no lectures, nothing. An alarm immediately went of in my head. Something was up with my partner, no doubt about that.
I watched him strip out of his cloak, shirt, and pants, not looking away for an instant. No, I am not a pervert. Think about it. Modesty is nice and all, but would you look away from a psychotic, sadistic killer who could easily murder you in two point five seconds without breaking a sweat, just because you're trying to "respect his privacy"?
Yeah, I didn't think so.
So, after Itachi undressed, he sat down on the bed, turning slowly to face me. My eyes had already made their way back to the sword in my hands, so I doubt he noticed me observing his movements. Then again, he's Itachi Uchiha, so he probably saw everything going on around him at all times. Hearing that he actually had eyes in the back of his head wouldn't surprise me in the least.
Right, I'm off topic again.
He called out to me in a soft, monotone voice. I looked up, keeping an impassive look on my face. Was he going to lecture me now? "Kisame, do you want the first watch, or should I take it?"
I very nearly fainted. Itachi does not offer you options. He asks if you want to do something, and you agree to it. Otherwise, he frowns, and uses that oh-so-manipulative mind of his to scare you half out of your wits, until you agree to do what you were offered. Simply put, "Do you want the first watch?" translates to, "Take the first watch, or I'll kill you while you sleep."
Never, in the history of our partnership, had Itachi given me a choice in what we were going to do.
As soon as I got over my shock, my mind decided that the explanation for his actions was that this was a test. Some new sort of torture he was going to use on me, after my latest screw-up, and if I picked the wrong option here, he'd let me know the hard way. But which option was I supposed to pick? Let the weasel sleep? No, I'd taken the watch last night, so Itachi would interpret that as me thinking he was weak. On the other hand, if I told him to watch first, he'd think I was being bossy, perhaps even willing to challenge his authority. My mind raced; what was I supposed to do?!
"Kisame," Itachi said, a hint of annoyance in his tone.
My panic level shot up at the sound of my name; I needed to answer him, and fast, or it wouldn't matter what option I picked. "Whatever you want to do is fine by me, Itachi-san," I said calmly, looking back to my sword.
Itachi didn't speak for a few moments. Finally, he told me that he'd prefer that I take the first watch tonight. I nodded, pretending to focus on cleaning Samehada, while inwardly I was beyond relieved. Apparently letting Itachi remain in control had been the right answer.
Nothing, however, could prepare me for what happened next. He opened his mouth and asked, "Is that all right with you?"
I almost dropped Samehada. My eyes widened, and several eternities passed before I got my facial expression back under control.
I looked up at him with what I hoped was a surprised look, as opposed to complete and totally overwhelming shock, and said, "Yeah. Why wouldn't it be?"
He shrugged (yet another new thing coming from my partner) and lay down on our shared bed, turning his back to me. All was quiet for a few minutes. Just long enough for me to think that things were going back to normal. And then, out of the blue, Itachi started talking to me again. "Deidara and I were speaking the other day."
Samehada actually slipped from my grip this time, and I was barely able to catch the thing before it hit the floor. Was Itachi trying to make small talk with me now? "About?" I ventured.
"Apparently the screaming we've been hearing from their room isn't caused by Sasori torturing Deidara."
Despite my fears, my curiosity was now peaked. "Well then, what's happening?"
He paused for a while before speaking. "Deidara informed me…that he and Sasori are an item."
An item? Wait, so if they were going out, why would Deidara be-oh. Oh.
Bad images filled my head, and I knew I wouldn't be able to look those two in the eye for a while. "Thought you'd like to know," Itachi finished.
Was there no end to the shocks?! Itachi never told me anything, unless he considered it to be information that I absolutely had to know. The idea of my partner talking with me for the sake of talking was as impossible as…well, him giving me options or asking if something was ok with me, really.
I thought about suggesting taking him to Kakuzu in the morning, seeing as how something was clearly very wrong with Itachi, but held my tongue. After all, under the clearly disturbed shell of my partner was a sadist, and if I pushed the wrong buttons I'd get killed. Perhaps I would be lucky, and this strange behavior would pass soon.
Minutes passed, and soon I could hear the low breathing of my partner. So, he finally fell asleep. Maybe now things could return to normal.
Right on cue, Deidara's screams cut through the air, and for the first time in what was to become a near-daily occurrence, I wished that Itachi hadn't told me what was really making our resident pyromaniac scream like that.