Title: Moving On

Author: Raven Shadowrose

Rating: M

Pairing: ?/?

Summary: Dixie has been left broken hearted by Cyd's departure from the Holby team, what will happen when Cyd is replaced by Hannah Darbyshire and Dixie takes a liking to her? Will she find the happiness that she has been searching for, or will she end up with even more of a broken heart?

Disclaimer: I do not know or own any of the characters from Casualty, any original characters and the story are my property and I do not give permission for anyone to use this story.

A/N: This story will contain some femslash, if you do not wish to read then, by all means, back away slowly the way you came, other than that, enjoy the story and reviews are appreciated.

Thank you to chan. nelson4444 and BeethovenRIP for your reviews, welcome to olivia. c. king1, I hope you are enjoying the story. Get your tissues ready ladies and gents

Chapter Nineteen.

Hannah sat at the table with Jeff while Dixie finished getting ready upstairs. 'Do you know where Dixie is taking me today?'

'I do, but I'm sworn to secrecy.'

'I thought so. You didn't seem too happy when Dixie told you about Cyd last night.'

'I'm not, Cyd really hurt Dixie and I can't forget about that even if Dixie can.'

'I think she has a lot of making up to do for everything that went on.'

'She does, I saw how hurt Dixie was after Cyd left, it took her a while to become her normal self. In fact, it wasn't until after you arrived that she started being Dixie again.'

'Me?'

'You made Dixie realise that there were other women out there beside Cyd. You arrived at just the right time, almost as if you were meant to be there at that moment to change how Dixie thought and felt.'

'Maybe, fate works in mysterious ways.'

'It's not often I believe in fate, but in this case you could be right. Fate or not, Dixie is a lot happier since you've been around.'

'I'm glad to hear you say that.'

'I mean it, just enjoy yourself today Hannah.'

'I'm sure I will.'

'Just go with what happens.'

'What do you mean by that?'

'Nothing.' Jeff smiled and Hannah knew that it meant something, just what was Dixie planning?

Dixie was nervous, telling someone that you love them was a very big deal and the thought had crossed her mind that Hannah might not be ready to say it. Dixie still had to tell her, she wanted Hannah to know how she felt and how much she cared for her. Dixie grabbed her coat, it was a bit cold today and she would need it. She picked up her bag from the corner, it had the stuff in it that she would need when staying at Hannah's after their day out. Dixie closed the door to her room and went downstairs, she saw Hannah sat alone at the kitchen table. 'Where's Jeff?'

'He's taking Little Abs for a walk. He's taken his keys with him so we can go whenever we're ready.'

'Good, he usually forgets his keys when he goes out. Are you ready to go?'

'I am, where are we going?'

'Nice try.'

'Can't blame a woman for trying.' Dixie laughed and locked the door behind herself and Hannah.

Hannah put her bag and Dixie's in the boot of the car and then got into the passenger seat. She was very curious about where Dixie was taking her today. Jeff knew something, she was sure of it, he had said for her to go with what happened and now Dixie was acting all nervous and kept tapping her fingers on the steering wheel. 'Dixie, are you all right?'

I am, really, I'm okay.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yeah.' Hannah wasn't convinced, Dixie was definitely nervous about something. Hannah quietly looked at Dixie, she wondered what was making her act all nervous the way she was doing.

Dixie was getting more nervous as she got closer to where she was taking Hannah, she pulled up into the car park and turned off the engine. 'Where are we?' Dixie heard the curiosity in Hannah's voice.

'Jeff told me about how you didn't have a proper childhood when you were younger, that you didn't get to play and do the things that every child should have the chance to do. Today we are going to be children, I'm going to teach you how to have fun.'

'That sounds interesting, lead the way.' Dixie got out of the car and locked the doors.

'Come on beautiful.' Dixie took Hannah's hand. 'We're going to go and play.' She opened the gate to the playground and pulled Hannah over to the swings. 'Can you beat me, can you go higher than I can?'

'I'll give it a go.' Dixie chuckled and pushed off the ground to make the swing move.

'Show me what you've got.' Dixie watched as Hannah tried her best to beat her. 'You'll have to do better than that.'

'That's fighting talk.' Dixie chuckled and slowly brought her swing to a stop after another minute.

'Nice try beautiful, not even Jeff can beat me at this.'

'You two have done this?'

'We did, we got some very strange looks from the kids.' Dixie smiled when Hannah giggled, it was a lovely sound and she hoped that it meant that Hannah was having fun.

Hannah found being a child quite enjoyable, she'd never experienced just playing like this. She decided to follow Jeff's advice and just go with it. Hannah was definitely feeling out of her comfort zone and it was a nice feeling. Playing on swings and roundabouts probably wasn't what most people had in mind for a date, but, she was thoroughly enjoying herself. Hannah noticed that Dixie seemed to have forgotten her nerves, she was puzzled, just what had made Dixie so nervous on the way here? Hannah looked at Dixie as she sat down on the roundabout. 'Are you enjoying yourself Hannah?'

'I am.'

'Good, come on, we have one last thing to do before we go for some lunch.'

'Which is?'

'Feeding the ducks, come on beautiful.' Hannah put her hand in Dixie's and followed her to the duck pond.

Dixie took the bread out from her bag and handed half of it to Hannah, she hadn't been to feed the ducks in years. Feeding the ducks had always held memories for Dixie and they were coming back in spades now. Dixie tried to take comfort from Hannah being stood right next to her. Every so often their arms would touch and it helped Dixie feel a bit better, but, being here and feeding the ducks made her feel a bit sad. 'Dixie?' Hannah's voice disturbed her thoughts. 'I always used to feed the ducks with my mum when I was younger.'

'That's the first time you've mentioned your mum.' Dixie sat down on the bench.

'She was always the one I talked to about my sexuality, she understood, she told me that one day I would find someone that deserved me, someone that loved me. She was always the person I turned to when I needed to talk.'

'What happened?'

'We'd gone out for lunch and to do a bit of shopping to celebrate me passing my paramedic exam. Everything was normal, I invited her back to my flat and she came in for a cup of tea. I went into the kitchen to put the kettle on and I heard her cry out. When I went back in the living room she was lying on the floor, I called the ambulance and somehow I did CPR on her. They took her to hospital and worked on her. A doctor came to see me and told me that there was nothing they could do, they couldn't save her. He told me that she'd had a massive heart attack and it was likely that she had died before she even hit the ground. The post mortem agreed with him, she'd died instantly.'

'Dixie, I'm so sorry.' Dixie felt Hannah squeeze her hand.

'I went to the funeral, my dad was there, he had a go at me, he said it was my fault that mum died. He said that I was a useless paramedic that couldn't even save the life of her own mother.'

'No, you're not useless Dixie, there was nothing that you could have done to save her. You are not to blame, it wasn't your fault.'

'She was only fifty-two, too young to die.' Dixie felt the tears roll down her face, she had kept all of this inside her for too long.

Hannah pulled Dixie into her arms and stroked her hair. 'It's okay to cry Dixie, you lost someone close to your heart. Just cry it all out.' Hannah made soothing noises and held Dixie close, she could hear and feel Dixie sobbing quietly. 'My sweet Dixie, I'm here, you're not alone.' Hannah felt Dixie's arms wrap around her and hold onto her, Dixie was clearly distraught and needed someone to be there for her at this time. 'Don't let me go Hannah.'

'I won't, I'm here for you.' Hannah kept stroking Dixie's hair and holding her until she stopped crying, she felt Dixie's head lie on her shoulder. 'Look at me Dixie.' Dixie slowly lifted her head and Hannah gently wiped the tears from Dixie's face. 'Do you feel better?'

'A little bit.' Hannah felt Dixie press a kiss to her lips and then she pulled away. 'I love you Hannah.' Hannah stared as Dixie's words sunk in, she smiled.

'I love you too.'

'You do?'

'Yes.'

'Hannah, will you be my girlfriend, my partner? I want us to be a proper couple.'

'I'd love to be your girlfriend and partner.'

'Thank you Hannah.'

'I think I know why you were so nervous before.'

'I've wanted to tell you how I feel for a while, I was just waiting for the right moment.'

'So we're official now, a proper couple?'

'We are, I am so happy you said yes.' Hannah closed her eyes as Dixie kissed her, she just lost herself in the kiss, it felt right somehow, almost as if fate had pulled them together.

Dixie looked at Hannah, she could hardly believe that this beautiful woman was her partner, that Hannah loved her. 'I wonder if my mum knows what happened today.'

'I bet she does. I think she's looking down on you right now and smiling because her daughter is happy.'

'I like that, maybe she even sent you to me.'

'She did say that you would find someone to love you one day.'

'That's right, she did, I like the idea that she sent you to me.'

'You are special Dixie, you have suffered through so much and come out the other side stronger.'

'You think I'm special?'

'Yes, very. You are a beautiful person Dixie, inside and out.' Dixie smiled and hugged Hannah, she was so very happy right now.

'Come on, my beautiful Hannah, I think we should go for lunch.'

'Good idea.'

'I know just the place.' Dixie took Hannah's hand and held it as they walked away from the park.

Hannah held Dixie's hand in her own, she was pleased that they were together as a couple now. She was still feeling all warm from Dixie telling her that she loved her, it was something that Hannah thought she would never hear from anyone. Hannah looked up to see an old country style pub in front of her. 'This place does the best Sunday lunch in the world, come on beautiful, let's go and have something to eat.'

'I like your thinking Dixie.' They went inside the pub and Hannah got a table while Dixie ordered some food. Hannah made a note to always be around if Dixie needed to talk, losing her mother in that way must have been horrible for Dixie. Hannah was glad that Dixie had told her everything, she had promised Dixie that she would be there for her, and there was no way in the world that she would leave her alone.

Dixie joined Hannah at the table. 'Thank you for listening to me today, I feel much better.'

'If you need to talk at any time you know where to find me, I'll always be there to listen to you.'

'Thank you beautiful.'

'You're welcome.' Dixie tucked into her food when it was ready, she made eye contact with Hannah on occasion and smiled at her. It hit her every so often that Hannah was now her partner and they were in a proper relationship. She had a few nerves over if it would last, but it felt nice to have someone in her life again. 'Dixie, thank you for today and for telling me about your mum, you are so brave.'

'I am?'

'Yes, you are. I am glad that we are together now.'

'Me too.' Dixie pushed back her plate. 'I think we should have dessert, really push the boat out, it isn't every day that I end up in a relationship with the woman of my dreams.'

'You are so sweet Dixie, I think dessert is a very good idea.'

'I know just the thing to get.' Dixie got back up and ordered dessert, she picked it up from the bar and took it back to Hannah. 'Sticky toffee pudding, the perfect end to a meal.'

'Now you're talking.' Dixie smiled, she was very pleased that Hannah had a good appetite and ate well, she really loved Hannah a lot.

Hannah and Dixie went back to the car, they'd split the bill between them and walked to the car holding hands. 'Hannah, I was thinking we could have that talk when we get back.'

'The one about us and me and what I'm ready for?'

'Yes, I just want to make sure I'm not going too quickly for you. I care about you.'

'I know that you do and that is why you're asking.'

'So you're still okay with it?'

'I am.'

'Good. Come on beautiful, let's go to yours.' Hannah smiled and got into the car, Dixie was the most caring woman that she'd ever met. She was a bit nervous about the talk, but she understood that it was necessary, she understood that Dixie had to know about everything. It was probably going to be a little bit of a difficult talk and might lead to her blushing, but, they had to have it. Hannah took a deep breath, she was with Dixie and there was nothing to fear.