Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight but I did own a LA fireman for an evening! LOL thank you Mari (my bestest friend even when I'm a raging bitch she still loves me!)
Okay….so if you're reading this it means you came back…..THANK YOU! Several of you emailed me asking if I gave up on the story, trust me when I say I haven't given up more like I think TOO much and can't make it right.
I have to give a special thanks to Twisisterhood she seriously have been uber patient with my neediness and even held my hand several the last few weeks when I was going insane. Please don't forget to check out www(.)twilightsisterhood(.)blogspot(.)com
A huge thank you to my betas wearingwords & LilKel1, so appreciate all your help!
And thank you to Brandon Flowers! Love his song Crossfire, inspired so much, I kept it on loop.
It's hard to believe a month had passed since Edward and I attended Zack Frank's show. A few days after his show, Zack offered me an internship, which I happily accepted. Twice a week I assisted him either in his studio or on a photo shoot, which meant I basically became his gopher on different photo shoots. Sometimes Edward would accompany me if the shoot was located outside the city, quietly supporting me whenever I became overwhelmed. But lately he'd been recording at the studio with the band and co-producing with Jasper and Timberland on another project, so he hadn't been on set with me.
In addition to working with Frank, Mike was able to get me a few freelance jobs for online music and fashion magazines. Edward explained that once Mike believed in your work, he'd go beyond the call of duty, and he'd done just that. Not only did he put my name out there, he, along with Ben, helped me set up my photography business. I stressed over everything from the web design to the name and finally settled on 'Duckling to Swan Studios'. Edward hated the name, saying I was never a duckling, but I explained after being called ugly for so many years I had finally started to feel pretty. We finally agreed to disagree.
I finished uploading the latest photo shoot I'd had with Rosalie, she'd made real progress in front of the camera. The nervousness she'd first exhibited had nearly vanished, making her more confident and comfortable during photo shoots. Sadly. It was only when she worked with me. She tried working with Zack again, and after thirty frames, she walked out. Jasper, Emmett, and I tried to get her to go back, but she'd refused.
Between work for both Edward and me, we still found time for each other. I loved our 'date nights,' as Alice liked to call them. We did the most normal things, like dinner and a movie, concerts and we even did a little house hunting. The one house we both loved was too accessible to the public as well as the paparazzi. It still shocked me he wanted to move in together, but as cheesy as it sounded, I knew we could end up in a cardboard box and I'd be happy. That was what I was when I was with him: happy. The world was a little less chaotic, we could sit in silence and my world was at peace. But, even though he kissed me with intense passion, he wouldn't touch me like he had a few weeks ago, though I'd tried to get him make a repeat effort but had no luck so far.
After I shut down my new Mac, a gift from Emmett and Jasper, I tiredly made my way to the room I shared with Edward. After sleeping together every night, we agreed I should just move my stuff into his room. It was nothing like living with James, if I left clothes on the floor there were no repercussions.
I remember we'd been sharing a room for a week when Edward woke me up early one morning so we could drive to Santa Barbara for the day, and I'd left my pajamas on the bedroom floor. When we walked in after a long day and saw them, I froze, Edward never said anything. He just took off his clothes and shoes, adding them to my pile, and hopped into bed. Once my heart became steady, I quickly changed and crawled into bed with Edward, but to be safe I made sure I cleaned the room before we left.
Not that everything had been breezy, ever since James sent the flowers I'd been plagued with nightmares. I usually remembered what I dreamt about because they were simply memories which caused me to wake up suddenly and then go back to sleep, but it was the unknown dreams that freaked me the fuck out.
One night was really bad, I thrashed about, knocking myself out of bed, and I was shaking and couldn't be held. I cringed every time I thought about how I just sat shivering and crying in a corner as Edward watched me with pained eyes. I didn't remember much after that, but when I woke up with Edward's arms around me, I noticed I'd left several scratch marks.
As I was settling into bed, waiting for sleep to claim me, I wanted to try to wait up for Edward so I could tell him about Zach inviting me to Chicago for the big Vanity Fair shoot, but most of all I simply missed him. I left before he'd woken up since he'd been coming in so late from the studio. I barely managed to give him a quick peck on the cheek before leaving for the day.
Just as I was dozing off, a horrible stench hit my nose. "You're not getting into this bed smelling like that," I said tiredly. I turned on the light and found Edward staring in my direction with glazed blood shot eyes; he reeked of whiskey and weed. But it was the stronger unknown aroma that was killing my senses.
His eyes grew wide with shock. "I schmell?" he said. His words slurred, swaying as he tried to remove his shirt.
"Yeah, you do," I said, getting out of bed. I began to undress him and he watched me with hooded eyes. He was down to just his boxer briefs when I took him into the bathroom to shower. After I got the temperature right, I began to walk out.
"Stay," he murmured. He cupped my face, his thumb tracing my bottom lip. Even though he smelled like a weed farm, I relished his touch. When he finally kissed me, he tasted like whiskey and cigarettes, barely breaking the kiss as he pulled my tank top off and helped me remove my boy shorts. When we stepped into the shower, the water nearly drowned me as I continued to kiss him, but we stood there making out like teenagers, his hands roaming my body. He let out a loud moan when I grabbed his ass. He turned us around where the spray of the water hit his back, my hands roamed his taut chest, I flicked his nipple which I knew drove him crazy, causing him to hiss. "Fuck baby."
His lips found the crook of my neck, sucking gently as his hand traveled up my ribs until he reached my breast. Edward wasn't the only one who loved his nipples tweaked, and when he took my nipple into his mouth, I nearly came. I clutched his arms when my legs gave out, I felt as if was burning with need from the inside out.
"Edward, please," I begged.
"The day you sign those papers I'm going to rent a fuckin' island and we're not leaving that bed for a month," he said against my mouth. Fuck! Even stoned he wouldn't relent, not that I was trying to take advantage. I reached around him for his loofah and body wash and began to scrub his chest. He closed his eyes as I washed his body, but when I tried to wash his hair, he was too tall and I almost got shampoo in both our eyes.
Stepping back, I watched him as he quickly washed his hair. I took in his lean muscles, his abs had become more defined since we'd been in L.A., his ass was tight, and his legs were long and lean. I could sit there all night and stare at him, it took all my will power to leave that shower. I quickly dried off, I grabbed my discarded clothes and threw them in the hamper, and went into the bedroom where Edward's smelly clothes sat, and took them out on the balcony. No way that crap was staying in this house.
Just as I slipped into one of Edward's Ramones tee shirts, he came out of the bathroom wearing just a towel around his waist and drying his hair with another. I handed him some pajama bottoms, hiding my smirk, knowing he was watching my bare ass crawl into the bed. If he was going to tease me, I planned to tease him back. "Bella, did you forget something?" he asked huskily, his words less slurred.
"No, I'm good, babe," I said, settling into bed. I heard him grumbling about never going to sleep as he ran his fingers through his damp hair. Once he was settled, I curled myself to his body and fell asleep.
XoXoX
I woke up gasping for air, it felt as if something was blocking my air passage. The harder I tried to breathe, the worse the feeling became. I started coughing uncontrollably as I tried to regulate my breathing. I felt Edward rub circles on my back.
"Calm down, baby," I heard Edward whisper. "You're safe."
I didn't know why these nightmares continued to plague me. I'd never felt safer as I did when I was with Edward. I'd never even felt like this with Jake, it had always been as if I'd known James could snatch me away.
But James is in jail, why am I still afraid?
"Do you want to talk about it?" Edward asked as he handed me a bottle of water.
Taking a sip, I replied, "I don't know, I just woke up scared." I'd told him this on several occasions. I leaned against the headboard again, wishing I was just normal.
"I spoke to Aro, he said he's still locked up, so he's not coming after you."
"Yeah, I know," I said.
"It's obvious PTSD isn't something we can just wish away."
I was at a loss for words. It seemed to haunt me no matter how many times I'd tried to keep at bay. I was trying my hardest to keep focused and not lose myself in self-doubt, but something about counseling truly scared me. I didn't want to rehash shit, I wanted to move forward. Counseling reminded me of the mental noose I wore during my marriage, and I had no desire to revisit.
Relaxing in his embrace, I smiled and placed a kiss over his heart as he hummed the song he wrote for me. I put all thoughts of James and Jane out of my head because this was my happy place and I didn't want them to interfere any longer.
After dozing on and off, I gave up on sleeping. I quietly put on workout clothes, grabbed socks and trainers so I could use the treadmill. Emmett put me on an exercise regime consisting of cardio, yoga and lately, Pilates. Normally when I walked into the gym, I enjoyed seeing the subtle changes in my body. I used to hunch over, looking as if I was afraid of my own shadow, now I stand straighter, my shoulders no longer held a chip. But today, I saw reminders of that bitch Izzy.
Chemical Romance's 'I'm Not OK' blared on the sound system, it seemed to fit my mood. I was plagued with a feeling that this shit between James and me wasn't over, the way Jane said "We're not done with you yet," made me shiver. I increased my pace on the treadmill to a nice jog, feeling as though I was in training and I didn't know what for. But I'd be damned if I went back to being Izzy, that girl who was scared of her own shadow.
For the first time in months I allowed myself to honestly think about my destructive marriage to James. I thought of all the names I was called in the course of my marriage, the daily humiliation, I saw how I started doubting everyone, including my own father, but worst of all, I doubted myself. My father constantly told me to be my own person, never let anyone change who I was, not even him. He would have hated who I became when I married James, but then again, he wouldn't have allowed that union to happen.
I would have gone to Dartmouth or NYU and found the real me a lot sooner, now I was left with pieces of my former self. I allowed James to fill me with fear which consumed me on a daily basis, but for the first time in a long time, I was fueled by anger. I was angry at myself for not remembering what my father had taught me. I was angry at myself for not listening to those who loved me, and angry for pushing them away. I raged on the inside and I didn't know how to stop it. I was running so fast, I was sure I would fall but I didn't care, my chest burned but it was a burn I welcomed.
A hand hit the STOP button on the treadmill, I looked up to see Emmett watching me warily.
"Why did you do that?" I fumed.
"Because you're going too fast, especially since you're crying," he said. I hadn't realized I was crying, I thought I was just sweating too much, but he was right, it was tears. He handed me a towel and waited for me get off the treadmill.
"Sorry to snap at you. I didn't even realize I started crying," I admitted. He cocked an eyebrow, just nodding. As loud as Emmett could be, it was his quiet side I detested. He was more observant when he was in this mood, he reminded me of Aro. He went to the cabinet and pulled out a box with my name on it, inside I could see a jump rope, pink boxing gloves, hand wraps similar to what I'd seen him use on the guys for their boxing working out. He didn't say a word as he wrapped up my hands to protect my knuckles, he just grabbed the gloves and helped me put them on. When I looked down, I saw my name stitched on them instead of a logo.
"I knew we'd need these eventually," he said quietly.
Emmett walked me to the punching bag he, Edward and Jasper used and showed me a series of basic boxing techniques. I winced every time his hand connected to the bag. After going through the routine several times, it was my turn. I made a few pathetic hits that seemed to make no impact, which enraged me further. When the song switched to Metallica's 'Enter Sandman', I wanted to run back to the comfort of Edward's arms.
Something's wrong, shut the light
Heavy thoughts tonight
And they aren't of Snow White….
Sleep with one eye open
Gripping your pillow tight
Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
We're off to never-never land
"Bella, you're not concentrating," he said, bringing me out of my haze. He came behind me and guided me through the jabbing motion again. "Every time you strike, think of him. Think about punching him in the jaw. Instead of you receiving that punch, you're giving it."
I cringed as I heard Emmett's menacing voice, but I understood what he meant. I looked at the punching bag, I took a few deep breathes when Linkin Park's 'Bleed it out' filled the room. The anger I felt earlier returned, I could see James' face on the punching bag. I followed Emmett's instructions and with each jab and cross motion I felt empowered. The work out lasted for over an hour.
"Good job, Bells. Let's try not to overdo it. Now, do you feel better?"
I smiled. "Yeah, I do. Thanks Emmett," I admitted. Between my anger and pent up sexual frustration, boxing was going to be my new release.
"Anytime," he said as he helped me removed my gloves and wraps. "Hopefully this will help with the nightmares and not be a trigger."
"You know about the nightmares?" I asked, stunned.
He nodded. "Sometimes we can hear when you scream, not every night. A few times we were worried, but Edward said he had it under control."
I was mortified. "Oh shit, I didn't know I was screaming."
"Listen, don't be embarrassed. You're still healing," he said sympathetically as we walked to the kitchen, because Emmett insists on having a piece of fruit after every workout. When we walked in we found Jasper leaning against the counter with his eyes closed as he waited for the coffee to brew. He was freshly showered but had yet to put on a shirt, his tattoo of an American eagle for fallen soldiers on his right shoulder. Over his heart he has the words 'Semper Fi', for his father who was a retired Sergeant Major who now runs a PMC for businesses in the Middle East.
"I didn't think you'd be up," Emmett said to him. He handed me a cup of diced pineapple.
"I didn't plan to be up," Jasper mumbled, never opening his eyes. "Thanks for bringing us home."
"You're welcome." Emmett went to the studio with Jasper and Edward even though he wasn't scheduled to be there, playing designated driver. Otherwise they would have to take a cab back to the house and they usually forgot the address when they had too much to drink.
"Could someone tell me why Edward smelled like ass when he came in?" I asked.
Jasper and Emmett erupted in a fit of giggles. "Let's see, he sat on his lunch and didn't realize it for twenty minutes, bong water spilled all over him and when he was on the patio, the Rottweiler decided to show him who was the alpha dog," Emmett tried to explain.
"W-what?" I asked, still confused.
"It was the funniest thing, Edward was just laying there completely drunk. Sampson came over sniffed him and just raised his leg and just peed all over him," Jasper explained as he clutched his head trying not to laugh. "I told him not to irritate that dog, but he didn't listen."
"Oh, my poor baby," I said, chuckling. "I made him take a shower when he walked in."
"Yeah, we had to drive with the windows down," Emmett admitted.
After I finished my fruit, Em reminded me to soak so the muscles wouldn't get too tight. I went upstairs to check on Edward and found him on the balcony smoking and talking on the phone. He smiled when he saw me, ended the call and gave me a kiss. "I've missed you," he whispered.
"I've missed you too."
"Do you have to work today?" he asked.
"No, I'm free as a bird."
"Good. I have a surprise for you," he murmured against my lips.
I hugged him closer. "Yeah? What is it?"
"I was able to score us tickets to Kings of Leon tonight."
"No way! Are you serious?"
"Yes, I made some calls and we're all going."
"Thank you, baby!" I snaked my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.
"You're welcome. I figure we just relax until the show."
"Sounds like a plan," I said, hugging his middle. "I love you," I whispered.
"Love you too. But babe, I think you need to hit the showers."
"Says the man who smelled like ass not too long ago," I said, ticking him on the side. I found out on accident Edward was extremely ticklish. He softly smacked my ass before I left the balcony, which caused my naughty bits to tingle. Great! "Oh, don't forget to take your clothes to the wash."
He nodded and I heard him mumbled something like 'damn dog.'
I soaked in the tub until I started to fall asleep and this time there was no Edward to wash me off. Edward wasn't in our room when I came out of the bathroom, which was probably a good thing. Victoria Secret was having an 'End of Summer' sale and I'd found a cute pink bikini that I had to buy. I didn't think I would actually wear it, but after my workout I needed to.
Overall, it fit perfectly. The halter top gave the illusion that my boobs were bigger than they actually were, the double string bottoms hugged my hips, giving me a more curvy, womanly look. I was pleased I could even see my stomach tightening. Emmett was truly a miracle worker. But it was when I turned to stare at my back that I wanted to hide my body with my old hoodie. Instead, I added a white sheer cover up, just something to wear while walking around the house. I quickly ate a few bites of the food left for me in the microwave, and tossed the rest because Emmett would be pissed if he knew I didn't finish my breakfast. I just didn't have much of an appetite.
Taking a deep breath, I removed the cover up when I walked outside, I usually wore a one piece when I was in the pool, and the few times I wore something smaller no one paid attention to the scars. I watched as everyone lay in the sun, enjoying the last days of the summer-like weather. There were fruit trays on the table along with orange juice and bottles of water.
"Damn, Bells! Looking hot!" Emmett called.
I just smirked and saw Edward gracefully rise from the lounger and walk toward me. I was mesmerized by his lips, reminding me of our shower together, but the spell broke as he lifted his Raybans to get a good look at me. "Is it my birthday?" he asked, his eye glued to my boobs.
"No."
"I've been imagining this moment for months now and let me say….the reality is so much better than my dreams."
"You dreamed about me wearing a pink bikini?"
"Yep. When I was in a coma," he said nonchalantly.
"You…you were dreaming?" I asked curiously.
He nodded. "It's hard to describe, I remember bits and pieces but I do remember you in a pink bikini," he said with an infectious grin.
Flashes of him in the hospital hit me, I hated to remember him battered and bruised. As if he could read my thoughts, he sent a reassuring smile and along with a quick kiss. Edward applied suntan lotion to my back, taking his time as his strong hands glided over me. By the time he was done I was sleepy yet completely turned on. I put my iPod on shuffle and let Marcus Foster soothe me while my back tanned.
I felt a light tap on my butt cheek from Edward, alerting me to flip over. "Tease," I muttered. I removed the earbuds and grabbed his notebook he'd left on the ground, turning to a blank page, I started drawing some flowers. I knew he used the notebook for writing and I had to restrain myself from reading what he'd been writing.
I was almost done with my flower chain when I remembered Chicago. "Zack asked me to go to Chicago with him," I said eagerly. I went to sit on the edge of his lounger, not wanting the others to hear. I wanted Edward to be the first to know, not like it would be a secret, but sometimes we just needed our private moments.
He sat up and faced me. "Why?" he asked quietly.
"He's shooting the Fresh Faces of Hollywood spread for Vanity Fair and asked me to accompany him."
"Babe, that's great!" When he hugged me he whispered, "I'm proud of you, I know you're going to be great."
His support often brought tears to my eyes. "Thank you." I hugged him tighter, he gave me a peck on the head and then positioned me between his legs.
"When do you go?" he asked.
"In a few weeks I just know it's before Thanksgiving. Do you think you can come with me?"
"Just give me the date and I'll be there," he assured me.
"I should know the official dates in a couple of days." I felt better knowing Edward was going to be with me, I was excited but very nervous. Zach felt I wasn't ready for his high profile shoots, but with Molly on her honeymoon, he was stuck with me.
Edward went back to his book, I could hear him read under his breathe. "What are you reading?" I asked, curiously.
"100 Love Sonnets by Pablo Neruda."
"Really? Didn't know you were a Sonnet type of guy."
"I had to read it in college but I didn't understand it then. I always thought he was full of shit. I mean how could anyone love someone that intensely? But, now I understand," he said. "Want to hear my favorite?"
I nodded. "Yes," I whispered.
I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving
but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.
"Do you like it?" he asked.
I nodded. "It's beautiful," I murmured. He continued to read his favorite passages, I lost myself in the silkiness of his voice that sometimes shook with emotion.
"Can I ask you something?" Edward asked.
"Of course," I replied, grinning.
"When I first met you, you always had a book on you, but you haven't seemed to pick one up since you've been with us. Why?"
I was glad my back was to him as I tried to form the words. "He didn't like me to read, said it was too expensive. So I would go to the library or re-read my favorites. No matter how clean I kept the house, he'd say I was neglecting my chores. So, as an added punishment he dished out, he would rip my favorite books. I was able to save one my father gave me. After a while, reading was impossible anyway so it didn't matter, concussions always got in the way ."
He shifted me until I was sitting across his lap, unable to avoid his gaze. He cupped my face as he rested his forehead against mine. "I'm sorry," he whispered as he placed a gentle kiss on my lips. He made me feel as if I was the most precious thing in his world. Moments like this made the sex not important. "I love you, Corazón."
"Love you too," I said. "But baby, why did you call me cortisone?"
He laughed. "No, I said Corazón, it's Spanish for heart."
I was suddenly thrown back into girl mode. "Aww, that's so sweet, I can only say I love you in English," I said trying to keep the blush from rising to my cheeks.
"I don't need special words," he said into my ear. "Only you."
I kissed his hands, thanking god we'd found each other again.
XoXoX
After lunch, I realized I didn't know what I was going to wear to the concert, especially after listening to Rose and Alice talk about halter tops and high heels. I knew I had a little time before Ace went through my closet and made me wear something way too uncomfortable. I was halfway up the stairs when I heard the doorbell ring, but it was as if someone had their finger pressed on the button nonstop. We hadn't had any visitors other than Mike and Eric, but when I peeked out the window I could see an unfamiliar dark SUV. Before I could decide to ignore the door or actually open it, the doorbell started to consistently ring again. I opened the door to a blond woman with two kids, the older one which looked to be somewhere between two and three was the bell-ringing culprit, while the mother held a younger baby who seemed to be squirming in her grasp.
"Hi, can I help you?" I asked skeptically.
"Hi, is Rose in?" she asked with a friendly smile. Her eyes were hidden behind dark lenses, she was pale with unnaturally platinum blond hair and bright red lipstick. Due to the heat she was dressed in a dark green maxi dress with black wedged heels, which made her as tall if not taller than Rose.
"And you are?" I asked skeptically, as I watched her struggle with the over-active toddler.
"Gwen," she said, shooting me a smile. Just then the little boy got out of her grasp and ran into the house. "Kingston, come back here." She ran into the house chasing after her son.
Kingston? Why did that name sound familiar to me? Holy shit, Gwen Stefani!
I regrouped and followed Gwen out to the backyard to see Kingston hanging on Emmett's arm as if he was a jungle gym. Rose was cooing over the baby in Gwen's arm, I was debating whether to join them or go up to my room. Alice and Jasper were getting out of the pool to greet the unexpected guests.
"Bells!" I heard Edward calling my name. He came over and grabbed my hand to join the group. "Gwen, have you met Bella?"
"Not formally, King ran in before we could make introduction," she explained. "It's nice to finally meet you, Bella."
"Nice to meet you too," I mumbled, taken by surprise by her strong hand shake. Eventually we all sat around watching the kids while they caught up with each other. She was in the writing process for the new No Doubt cd, usually meeting in Orange County, but was taking the week off since the nanny was on vacation.
"I heard you guys were recording with Timbaland. How's that going?" she asked.
"Fanfuckingtastic!" Jasper said excitedly.
"He has a new group and liked the song Jasper wrote," Edward explained.
"Congrats, Jazz!" she exclaimed, giving him another hug.
"Thank you," he said modestly.
"I know you're keeping a low profile, or as low as you guys can make it, but when I was on the ND forums they posted a picture of Rosie in a Harajuku shirt, I knew I had to stop by. So Ms-I-don't-model-anymore, when did this happen?" Gwen asked curiously.
"It's nothing, Bella and I had a few photo shoots and we posted a few shots," Rose explained in a blasé voice.
"There's more? Can I see?" Gwen asked looking at me.
"It's up to Rose," I said. Rose approved all her images posted to the site.
Rose was still holding Gwen's son, Zuma, making cooing noises before she answered. "Yeah, why not?" I could tell Rose was nervous about Gwen viewing the rest of the photos, but I shot her a small smile and went inside to get my laptop.
"Gwen, why don't you go with Bella and view the photos in the office, without us hovering over your shoulder?" Edward suggested.
"You'll keep an eye on the kids?" she asked, standing.
"Of course," he assured her. I didn't know what to say to her as we walked back into the house, there was no way I could have small talk with the woman who inspired my one teenage rebellious moment. But thankfully Gwen had social skills.
"They were telling me you were working with Zach Franks. How do you like it?" she asked.
"It's great, I'm learning a lot from him."
"He's a sweetheart. I'm supposed to have a session with him soon."
"Hopefully, I'll see you there," I said as we reached the office. I quickly found the file I was looking for and set up a slide show for her viewing.
I grew anxious as she silently viewed the photos, her face a blank mask. The only time she showed a sign of interest was when photos of Rose in a LAMB frock appeared. I was starting to sweat and thankful the slide show was ending. Before I had a chance to hit end, photos I'd been taking for my latest project appeared.
"Wait, can I see those too?" she asked.
"I'm not posting those for while, it's just a project I'm working on," I said.
"That's cool, I'm just curious."
And she wanted to see them all, including photos I'd taken in Forks of the band practicing or just hanging out, from the Benefit, and afterward when Edward and I got out of the hospital. I heard her gasp when the photo of a bruised Edward appeared but again she remained silent. I started to bounce my leg as the photos from my freelance jobs appeared.
"I'm impressed," she said with a smile. I almost pissed in my pants.
"Thank you, that means a lot."
"I better get back to the boys, I don't want Em to pull a muscle swinging them around."
At that moment she was more like Esme than the iconic person you see in the media. She was simply Gwen, mom to two over-active kids and one incredible sexy husband. Even though I was still slightly intimidated, I felt more relaxed. I quickly turned off the computer before we walked out of the office. As we made our way back to the backyard she asked the secret to getting Rose to pose.
"No real secret, just never push and keep her comfortable," I replied. I wanted to add more but the sight of Edward holding Zuma and feeding him a piece of watermelon, which landed more on Edward's shirt than the kid's mouth, made my ovaries scream. A few weeks ago we talked a little about kids and in my head I did a happy dance, but to see him with an actual baby made me want to spit out triplets right then and there.
Kingston was worse than his brother, with juice all over his face and running down his shirt. I went into the house to get two wet face towels and handed them to Gwen. "Thank you, Bella. I realized I left the wipes at home. Thank goodness I'm heading to my mom's after this," she said, laughing. Once she had the kids changed, they said their final goodbyes. As Jasper was going to walk them out, she gathered a sleepy Zuma from Rose and was heading for the exit when she turned back to look in our direction again.
"Rose, be straight with me. What will it take for you to be LAMB's new spokes model?" she asked in a serious voice.
"Gwen, stop joking around," Rose said.
"No, I'm serious. You know I've wanted you from the beginning. If it's money, I can make you a great offer."
Rose took a deep breath and smiled. "Let's see, add twenty-five percent to your last offer, Alice has to be the on-set stylist and Bella the photographer."
She was silent for a moment, looking from me to Alice, while we were trying to look as calm as Rose, but in reality all I wanted to do was just vomit from all the new tension. "Done, I'll have the contracts messengered to Mike," she said, walking out with a triumphant grin on her face. Jasper followed her out, looking back with a confused look on his face, while Rose, stood as still as a statue in stunned silence.
It seemed like hours instead of minutes passed as we stood unmoving . "What the hell just happened?" I asked when I came out of my stupor. Jasper came back looking at his sister intently.
"I-I don't know," Rose finally replied. "I can't do it, I was joking, I-I"
"It's ok, baby. We'll call her and tell her no," Emmett assured her.
"Rose you don't have to do anything you don't want to do," Alice agreed.
Grabbing one of the glasses filled with rum punch, she emptied half the glass as she started pacing. Edward lit a cigarette and handed it to her. "I usually respect your wishes about being photographed as well as your privacy, but I think you're an idiot if you let this opportunity pass you by. You didn't become the youngest person to grace the cover of Vogue because the editors were bored. They felt you had something to offer, and more than ten years later someone still thinks you have more to offer."
Rose didn't acknowledge his words as she continued to smoke the cigarette. "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me," she said to Edward. "Thank you." She gave him an awkward hug, emotion wasn't something Rose was good at.
"So, are we doing this?" Alice asked. I could practically feel the excitement radiate off her.
"I'll do it, as long as you both are in."
"I'm in!"Alice yelled.
The both looked at me. Suddenly I heard the hook to Lose Yourself on repeat in my head.
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo
"Oh hell yeah, I'm in," I said.
XoXoX
Finding something to wear to the concert turned out to be a pain in the ass, I assured Alice I had it under control, when in reality I didn't know what I was doing. Long after Edward slipped on a pair of jeans and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles tee shirt, looking amazingly hot, I was still trying to put an outfit together.
I decided on my black cotton mini dress, it was fitted and covered my back yet emphasized my cleavage. I was going to wear boots but didn't have the energy for it, plus it wasn't my style. Edward bought me a pair of black and grey pinstriped Converse that I adored but had yet to wear. My make up took less than five minutes and I left my hair wavy, giving me the slept in look. I added a soft gray wrap to ward off the chill that crept in at night.
Instead of taking my new camera, I took the camera Alice had me use when I first started with the band, and brought my press pass I'd received from the online magazine I freelanced with just in case.
Oddly, I was the last to arrive to the limo, Edward and Rose were standing outside smoking and waiting for me. Edward took my bag and helped me into the limo, by the time we hit the freeway heading to the Staples Center, shots of tequila were being passed around.
I was enjoying the dizzy effect the tequila was having on my brain, the tingling sensation that allowed me to relax. Edward wrapping his arm around me and bringing me closer seemed to electrify that feeling. I looked into his green eyes and knew he felt that same way.
When we reached the arena, we dashed through the throng of fans and photographers who were waiting in the VIP area. The tour manager came out to greet us, passing out the VIP lanyards and escorting us backstage. Jasper knew the lead singer of the opening band, The Whigs, and introduced me to them right before they hit the stage. We watched them from the side, I wasn't familiar with their music but I was enjoying watching them play. I was snapping a few pictures when Edward tugged my hand, leading me away from the stage area.
As we were walking by, I recognized the lead singer of the band walking toward us. "Hey Edward! How the hell are you, man?" Caleb asked as he and Edward did the one arm hug. He continued to greet everyone when they caught up with us, even picking up Alice and Rose. The other members came over to say hi as well, pretty much greeting them with real enthusiasm, it was easy to see they were really good friends.
Caleb eyed me, standing next to Edward. "And who is this?" he asked. I detected a southern twang.
"This is my girlfriend, Bella. Bella, this is Caleb." I had to work very hard not to blush every time Edward introduced me as the 'girlfriend'.
"Nice to meet you," he said shaking my hand. "Come on, our dressing rooms are further back."
I watched how the guys from Kings of Leon interacted with each other, reminding me of the Cullen's. There was a closeness that was undeniable, which allowed them these carefree moments to block out the craziness that surrounded them.
After an hour of socializing and hanging out, we found our seats in the third row. When the band came out the crowd erupted, reminding me of when I saw Edward play in Seattle. The arena vibrated with excitement, like everyone else I was out my seat dancing along to the music. Occasionally, I took a few pictures, but tonight I wanted to lose myself in the music. I normally wouldn't partake in smoking a joint, but when Alice passed it to me, I took a puff. I hadn't smoked out since I was sixteen after my father's funeral.
Alice and I were practically screaming at the top of our lungs when they played 'Be Somebody'. I had my back to Edward as he held my hips while we swayed to the music and nearly came when he sang along to 'On Call', I blocked out Caleb and only heard Edward. His lips would graze my neck as I eagerly turned to meet them and wanted to melt. I barely remembered the concert ending or getting into the limo, but I do know the mixture of weed and alcohol heightened my senses.
When Edward and I got to our room we barely contained ourselves, my dress was off before the door was closed. Even in my haze I could see he was trying to keep some control. As much as I loved him touching me, I needed to touch him. We were in the middle of the bed as I straddled his lap, as he sucked on one breast he caressed the other. I could feel his erection and wanted nothing more than to slide his cock inside me.
I gently pushed him onto his back and I placed kisses on his lips, trailing his jaw line with my lips. My tongue flicked his ear lobe. I continued my journey, leaving a kiss on his neck, licking his nipples which caused him to shiver. As I kissed my way down his chiseled stomach, I unbutton his jeans.
"Bella," he moaned. I leaned up to kiss him hard on the lips while reaching into his jeans, my fingers skimming his shaft. His breathing hitched, he wanted me to stop, but at the same time encouraged me to go on. Edward was blessed with brains, good looks, musical talents and a huge cock.
Years ago when he'd first showed it to me, I freaked out so much I was too tense to enjoy my first time. Edward's penis was like Christmas in July. And the best part was it was pretty. I've seen enough porn to know penises aren't that attractive, but Edward's was a work of art.
I gently stroked his cock, enjoying the feel as I pulled it out of his jeans. Giving into another desire, I place a kiss on the tip and it literally twitched. The tip was so pretty, I licked it as if it was a lollipop. He tasted more sweet than salty, making me crave more.
I took him into my mouth, slowly bobbing my head up and down. I looked up to see Edward's eyes completely hooded, gripping the sheets in his hands. I sped up to gauge his reaction, his eyes nearly rolled back into his head. Using my hand and mouth simultaneously caused him to groan, his hips moving toward my mouth.
"Baby…oh shit…Bella," he stammered. His hands were in my hair as he let out a loud guttural noise; his cock stiffened and I swallowed as the warm cum hit the back of my throat. "You swallowed?"
"Yeah," I said with a grin. Edward used to beg me to swallow, I would only allow him to cum on my chest. "It wasn't as bad as I feared." It wasn't my favorite thing to do, but I'd do it again.
"You never…." I could see the confusion in his eyes.
"No, never," I assured him. "Another first for me. Now as much as I like to finish this conversation, I need to brush my teeth." Not giving him a chance to reply, I ran to the bathroom to clean up. Edward was already asleep when I brought him a warm towel to clean him up. He woke up long enough to thank me; I threw the towel in the hamper and got back into bed. Edward reached for me, molding me to his body. My happy place.
The sound of something crashing in the hall followed by something hitting the wall and yelling jolted Edward and me awake.
"What the fuck?"Edward muttered, putting his jeans on and opening the door. Emmett was going ballistic about something, I grabbed Edward's shirt off the floor and quickly put it on. I'd never heard Emmett sound so angry, I poked my head out the room to see both Jasper and Edward holding him against the wall. I could see a hole in the wall and the hall mirror looked as if he'd rammed his fist into it.
"Emmett, you need to calm the fuck down!" Edward yelled.
"I will fucking kill him," he roared back. "I'm tired of this shit."
"Tired of what?"
"The fucking Ramsey's! James is fucking suing dad for malpractice."
Edward paled despite the fact he was tanned. "What?" Edward staggered back staring at his brother in stunned silence.
"They're like fucking leeches, they never let up," Em continued.
"Emmett, are you sure? It could be an internet rumor," Jasper reasoned.
"I just talked to Aro myself," Emmett explained. He was calmer, but still visibly angry.
Jane didn't lie, she wasn't done.
A/N: I know I took forever with the update but I did provide a mini lemon and that means I deserve a review. I now have a bottle of strawberry beer so hit with your best shot! I can take it….(((grin)))