Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, that glory belongs to Stephanie Meyers. I own...well nothing.
Hello...anyone still here?
I want to apologize for the LONG ass delay but that's what happens when you have writer's block. But I have to give a huge 'THANK YOU' to my co-worker and friend Yvette. When I didn't think I could finish she cheered me on and constantly encouraged me, so this chapter belongs to her.
Thank you to the betas - Krysti & Wearingwords
And a special shout out to Fangmom - I'm in love with her fic and she's super awesome!
An outtake of Awakening was submitted to the Fandom Against Domestic Violence compliation.
I also started a music blog: www(.)gottapressplay(.)com - please check it out.
Well that's enough chatter from me...Enjoy!
I was exposed, virtually naked.
And yet, I was still standing.
I was drained, both mentally and emotionally.
And yet, I was still standing.
Lying in bed, with the quiet silence of the morning still lingering, the last month replayed in my head like a bad horror film. It felt as though I had run through the dark forest, but instead of Jason wearing a hockey mask, it was James was who was hot on my tail.
I was completely taken by surprise at the prosecution's 'trial prep,' which left me mentally drained before we even went to trial. They had me relive and nitpick every terrifying moment; sometimes I wondered if I was the one who was on trial, rather than James and Alec. But the hardest part was when I had to explain those incidents to Edward; the shame and guilt seemed to engulf me. But he listened and held me and never judged.
During the trial, Jane found ways to knock holes into everything I said. She claimed I was clumsy, which resulted in too many accidents. But when you're repeatedly knocked in the head, your equilibrium is rarely balanced. It takes pure concentration not to fall over, which meant I stared at my feet most of the time, due to the fear I'd totter over.
When I was on the stand, I tried to follow Aro's advice to either address the jury or the attorney in front of me. When Caius was questioning me, it was easier to focus on him. But when Jane approached, I avoided her gaze and turned my attention to the jury or the prosecution table.
"Mrs. Ramsey, could you tell me how you obtained the injuries in this photo?" Caius asked, pointing to one of many photos Carlisle had taken during my marriage. This particular photo was a close up of my face, making the swollen red eyes, bruising on my chin, and lacerations across my neck more prominent.
"Um, I accidently spilled bleach on his favorite pair of jeans," I said, suddenly nauseated as the memories flooded my mind. "Before I even had a chance to explain it was an accident, he struck me across my face."
My throat tightened, I tried to hold back the tears and speak with a strong voice, but I was drowning. I could see Edward, his green eyes were filled with rage, and his mouth was set in a hard line.
"I tried to move away but he pushed me, face first, into the wall…he was screaming at me and I kept repeating I was sorry. Hegrabbed me by the hair, and then pulled me into the laundry room. Before I knew it, he poured some liquid on me…I realized it was bleach. I became even more frantic when I felt a pull at my neck."
I paused again. Unconsciously, I touched my neck to make sure nothing was there.
"I felt the rope around my neck," I continued. "I thought he was going to finally kill me. Then suddenly, he released me. I hit the floor gasping for air and before I could take a full breath, he kicked me in the stomach."
As I spoke, it felt as though the rope was around my neck.
"What happened after that?" Caius asked.
"He reminded me that if I went to Jake for help, he'd press charges against him again. So, I stayed on the floor until he finally left the house. Once I got the strength, I got off the floor and went to the kitchen sink to wash my face. I was afraid the bleach would blind me and knew I was in no shape to drive," I explained.
Asudden commotion brought me back to the present andI looked over to see Jake being escorted out of the court room by Leah and Jasper. My chest tightened as I began to shake all over. Like Edward, Jake had never known the details, and I knew this was getting to him. Old fears of Jake going to jail surfaced, but once I saw Aro Iknew nothing would happen to Jake.
"Then how did you get to the hospital?" Caius inquired and regained my attention.
"I tried to walk to the hospital but my vision started to blur and my stomach ached too much. I didn't think I would make it, so I was going to turn back. My neighbor passed me on the road and gave me a ride. The hospital must have called Dr. Cullen when I arrived."
I made the mistake of looking at James as the invisible leash tightened around my neck. I started to choke. With a shaky hand, I took a sip of water. I could hear him actually snicker as I tried to catch my breath.
"Mrs. Ramsey, do you remember, how long before the benefit did this take place?"
"Three months."
Edward's arm tightened around my hips, bringing me back to the present as he shifted around me until his head rested on my stomach. As much as I wanted to wake him up so he could sing or talk to me, I let him sleep. When the nightmares were too much and I began to lose sleep, he never complained about being tired. He simply put me first.
Today, I planned to wear my big girl panties and allow him the luxury of sleep. No reason to wake him up for yet another crying fit. Instead, I ran my fingers through his soft hair. He'd washed it before bed so I was able to smell the Fekkai conditioner. I smiled and waited for contentment to relax me, but it never came.
After the verdict, I decided not to go to the sentencing for James and Alec. I figured they were convicted and that was all I needed, but I felt off-kilter. I felt as though I was running scared and I refused to be afraid- not anymore.
I gently eased Edward's arm off me and made my way to the bathroom. I took a long, hot shower hoping to ease the sudden aches, preparing for a stressful day. I stood in the walk-in closet, wearing nothing but a push up bra and thong, trying to figure out what I wanted to wear.
Aro had become a complete control freak over my court appearances, so I had an array of dresses and pantsuits to choose from. I decided to go with the black pantsuit and paired it with a white fitted long-sleeved button down. I returned to the bathroom to do my makeup. I usually wore pink gloss but decided to go with a red lipstick today. Christina Aguilera said her trademark red lipstick was like her shield against the world when she was having a bad day. Well today, it'd be mine. After I brushed the tangles out of my hair, I quickly slicked it into a ponytail.
When I stepped out of the bathroom, I noticed Edward was awake but still in bed. He cocked an eyebrow as he took in my appearance. "Morning," I said softly as I approached the bed.
"Morning to you, too," he said. I leaned over and gave him a kiss on the lips. He grabbed me by the hips until I was straddling his lap, his morning wood pressed against me. "Why are you all dressed up?"
"I decided to go to the sentencing."
He frowned. "Why?"
"I don't want him to think I'm hiding behind Aro or you. I want him to know he will never have that kind of control over me again. I need to close this door and I want him see me actually slamming it shut," I explained as I rubbed his beard. Edward hadn't shaved since he testified last week and I loved the scruff.
He nodded. "That's understandable. How much time do I have? I can go with you."
"No, stay in bed and get some rest. I'll go with Aro and be back by lunch time."
He didn't say anything for a long moment and his green eyes were darker than usual. "You're sure?"
"Yeah," I assured him. "When I get back I will cook you a fabulous lunch."
"Babe, you know you don't have to cook for me," he replied as he traced my face.
I closed my eyes, enjoying his touch. "I know."
He hugged me to his chest and we lay there not moving for several minutes. I placed a kiss over his heart and got out of bed, smiling at the red lip mark I'd left over his heart. "What are you grinning at?" he asked.
"I marked you with my lips," I said admiring my work. "See ya in a bit."
"Bye, babe."
My heart still flutters when he calls me babe.
I grabbed my clutch that was only large enough to hold my identification, cash and iPhone, and walked swiftly down the stairs in search of Aro. He wasn't in his bedroom or office. I was on my way to the garage when I heard voices coming from the kitchen. I eventually found both Avery and Aro at the kitchen island going over paper work. Avery was eating one of the cinnamon rolls I'd baked the night before.
"Good morning, gentlemen," I said to make my presence known.
"Morning, Bella," Avery said.
"Good morning, Isabella," Aro said quietly, eyeing my suit. "Going somewhere?"
"Yes, to James and Alec's sentencing."
There was a moment of silence before Aro spoke. "I don't think that's a good idea."
"I wasn't asking for permission," I retorted. Avery cocked an eyebrow and Aro remained silent. "I can take a cab if I need to, but I'm going."
I sounded stronger than I actually felt.
The tension in the room became thick as Aro watched me with his hawk like gaze. "You're not going to let this go, are you?"
"No."
I heard him curse under his breath. "Fine, let's go," he muttered. He grabbed his suit jacket and exited the room. Avery silently threw out the rest of his cinnamon roll, stuffed the paperwork back into his briefcase, and grabbed his jacket, following Aro outside.
"Aro, I'll drive Isabella," Avery said. Aro nodded once and got in his black Mercedes CL600 and took off without a second glance. Avery unlocked his Escalade and helped me in before taking the driver's seat. "This should be an interesting morning."
"That didn't go the way I planned," I said quietly. "And sorry you couldn't finish breakfast."
He laughed humorlessly. "One thing I've learned over the years," he said as he raised the console between us, "Pack snacks. Never know when you'll be able to eat."
Avery handed me a protein bar and grabbed another one for him. We fell into a comfortable silence as we drove through the streets of Seattle. Before we reached the court house, Avery reached in the back for a small bottle of water.
"You're a serious boy scout," I said with a chuckle.
"Like I said, you never know where you'll be when you work for Aro."
"I would expect that from Jenks, but you're in the court house most of the time."
"Some of our clients live outside Seattle so I'm in my truck for long periods of time and I never know when I'll need to help Jenks out," he explained. I knew he and Jenks worked closely together on various cases.
"How long have you worked with Aro?" I asked. Even though Avery was my divorce attorney, I knew very little about him. I'd been so wrapped in my own little world, I'd never really had a chance to talk to him.
"Officially, since I was sixteen," he commented between bites. "So, going on fourteen years."
"Wow, that's longer than I expected, but how can a sixteen year old work for a law firm?"
"In order for me to get emancipated, I had to have a steady job lined up. The company that runs the firm's mail room hired me. I worked during the day and did my GED prep in the evenings," he explained.
"Can I ask why you needed to get emancipated?" I asked after a moment of silence.
"Basically, I didn't want to end up like my older brother and I would have if I had stayed with my mom. I would have joined the gang in my neighborhood, probably sold drugs, gone to jail or worse-died," he said nonchalantly. "I met Aro during my brother's trial, he tried to keep me on the right path, but I eventually gave into some pressure and ran with the guys in the neighborhood. I got caught robbing a store and Aro was able to get me out of it without it staying on my permanent record. But we both knew if I stayed there, I would be in jail within a year. So, I would go to his office to study or help out. I used to think the gang members were scary, but you don't know angry until you meet the Wrath of Aro."
I shuttered as I remembered last week, when he had Jane practically quivering in the corner after their conversation when the verdict was read. "I think I would piss in my pants if I'd experienced that."
He chuckled and we fell into a comfortable silence. Despite the unsettled feeling that overwhelmed me when I first woke up, I was surprisingly calm. My phone vibrated with a text from Edward.
"Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength." – August Wilson
Tears welled up in my eyes, and before I could respond he sent another text.
Babe, instead of hiding away from your problems, you've wrestled them head on. This alone is the reason why I'm always in awe of your strength and you inspire me. I love you –E
I quickly replied.
E- I'm utterly speechless & trying not to cry. Thank you for being my rock. I love you more than I can express. –B
Avery wordlessly handed me a Kleenex. I checked to see what damage the tears had made, and thankfully it wasn't too bad, just a little puffy from the crying but that would go away in about twenty minutes.
"The courthouse is less than a mile away. You going to be ok?" he asked.
"Don't worry, those were good tears," I said with a chuckle.
As we drove, I noticed more news crews which heighted my anxiety. I took a few deep breaths, and when I heard the opening to 'Give them Hell' by American Rejects, I grinned. On the night the verdict was read, I was drunk off my ass and sung this song at the top of my lungs. I sang with my whole heart as if it was my anthem, as though the dark clouds that tried to surround me were moving away.
"Alright Ms. B, it's show time," Avery announced, pulling me back to my surroundings. I put on my dark sunglasses as I waited for Avery. Once he opened his door, I heard the clicks of the cameras. Behind the dark lenses, I watched as Avery made his way to my side of the SUV. The muted shouting began with simply the calling of my name, "Isabella!"
Once the door opened and I stepped out, questions were shouted in my direction, "Where's Edward?" Flash, flash. "Is it true you're pregnant?" Flash, flash. "Do you regret testifying against your husband?" More flashes went off. Even with the glasses, the flash bulbs were blinding. They started to swarm. Avery kept me close to his side, escorting me into the courthouse as quickly as possible.
Due to the press making a ruckus, we were rushed through security rather quickly. Seats in the courtroom were almost filled with members of the press and observers. I took a seat behind the prosecution. After five minutes, I grew bored waiting with no one to talk to, I sent Edward a text: Wish you were here.
Maybe coming here without him was a mistake. I should have asked him to come with me; the nervousness coursing through my body would be easier to handle. While I waited for Edward's response I sent a quick text to Jessica. Since we'd met at my birthday dinner in Los Angeles, we'd really become good friends. Lately, she'd been on location filming a movie, constantly cheering me up by sending me random goofy pictures of herself or the cast and crew. Even though she was working, she sent a one word reply: BREATH!
I grinned and took her advice. I was in the middle of my calming breathing exercises when James was brought into the courtroom. He was still handcuffed, his face void of expression. He abruptly stopped walking when he saw me and the sneer appeared on his face. I refused to look away and stared him down. A movement distracted him because his face went blank and replaced with a look I'd never seen cross his face throughout our marriage: love.
I followed his direction and saw Victoria standing two rows behind me on the defense side. I looked back at James and the smile on his face made him look almost handsome. I felt as though I was intruding on a private moment. When I looked back at Victoria, she was looking at me, for once no malice or anger directed at me.
She turned back to James with a sad look on her face and closed her eyes as she clutched her necklace and yanked. James let out a loud bellow, screaming her name. Then he turned his gaze onto me. "You fucking whore! You did this!" he screamed. "I'm going to fucking kill you!"
And he lunged for me.
Just as James made a leap for me, Aro intercepted and had him on the ground. I was suddenly pulled back into the crowd and saw Carlisle and Edward stand in front of me, acting as human shields. When did they arrive?
Before I had a chance to move toward them, I felt someone grab my arm. I turned to see I was face to face with Victoria, again no malice in her eyes. Up close, I noticed she looked haggard and tired, as if she'd aged ten years since I saw her in my hospital room.
"I'm sorry."
"What?" I asked.
"I'm sorry for whatever pain I may have caused you," she said quietly. "I have no excuse, just know I'm sorry."
Before I could respond, she walked out of the courtroom. It was as if someone popped the bubble around us and the noise seemed to erupt around me. I turned to see James, still spewing threats at me, continue to struggle as the bailiff tried to pull him away. It took Avery and Edward to hold Aro back, his eyes were wild and even Carlisle tried to calm him down.
Instead of going back to my seat, I ran after Victoria. I didn't see her when I first walked of the courtroom, then I saw a flash of red enter the ladies room. I walked quickly down the hall unnoticed. Just as I reached the entry way, a woman exited while speaking on the phone, oblivious to my presence.
When I walked into the four-stalled ladies room, I found Victoria bent over the sink, splashing water all over her face. I checked for legs and found none. We were alone. I grabbed the paper towel she placed next to the sink and remained quiet when she turned off the water and patted the sink for the towels.
"Looking for this?" I asked, making my presence known and held the towels in front of her.
Startled, her eyes widened and her mouth opened slightly, she hesitantly took the towels from my hands. "Thank you," she murmured. I watched her in the mirror as she dried her face and her gaze finally met mine.
"Could you just tell me why?" I asked even though my insides shook. "I never did anything to you."
She took a deep breath. "Good old fashion stupidity," she said. "And it didn't help I had a coke habit, but that's just another excuse."
I was stunned into silence. I never suspected and said as much.
"I was good at hiding it, used on and off for years. But the more involved I became with James the more I used to numb myself. I knew what we were doing was wrong and being numb meant I had to continuously feed that habit."
"Who supplied you, Jane or James?" I asked. I knew James used cocaine on occasion, but he raged so often I never knew when he was high.
"It started with James, mainly when we partied in Seattle, and then Jane. She inadvertently became our dealer. She pushed it even more once she realized how badly I depended on it."
The bitch is making me feel sorry for her. Oh, fuck that.
"Is this where I'm supposed to feel sorry for you? Because I don't, you had a responsibility to protect people like me – not terrorize them!" I said forcefully, I even shocked myself with how much anger that coursed through my body. "And the worst part is you went after innocent people like Jake and Emmett. Tell me, Victoria, how many other lives did you destroy during your so-called drug addiction?"
I saw the tears well up in her eyes but I refused to feel bad about it. I watched as she tried to hold back the tears. "I meant what I said back there. I'm sorry for my part in all of this," she said a moment later.
"Like you actually gave a fuck," I retorted. "But I will say you shocked the hell out of me by finally making an appearance. Now that James is off to jail you finally decided to dump him?"
She remained silent.
"Come on, Victoria; tell me, where have you been the last few weeks? Helping Jane plot against me? Or are you planning to have Jake and Emmett arrested again?" I barraged her with questions and she remained silent. "Tell me something, because I need to know, did he ever hit you?"
She closed her eyes for a moment. "Once," she said quietly.
"Did he ever apologize?"
She nodded. "It happened early in our relationship, it never happened again."
"So you never feared him?"
"No."
"Interesting….there was a time I didn't fear him either. He apologized the first few times, but then stopped wasting his breath with those lies. But as time went on I noticed he got off on it. Made the sex quite uncomfortable," I said offhandedly and she went green.
"Isabella, I said once and I'll say it again, I'm sorry. I-I-I truly… I feel horrible for any pain you have suffered b-b-because of me," she sputtered and the tears were coming down faster.
I couldn't respond, the Victoria I was familiar with used venomous words to hurt me. And she was never apologetic. She somehow humanized herself right before my eyes and I didn't like it. I had no desire to sympathize with her - I needed to hate her.
"You know I used to fantasize that James would leave me for you, but I wasn't so lucky," I said as fury seemed to seep back into my veins. "If it was just me, I would say 'No worries' and move on. But I simply cannot forgive you, not for what you did to me, but for what you did to Jake. He didn't deserve to be thrown into jail as if he was scum. His only crime was caring about me, he was only trying to protect me and you fucking tormented him every chance you got… sorry, it's not me you need to apologize to."
She nodded as she wiped away her tears. "You're right, I do owe him an apology."
Before I could respond I heard Edward calling my name. "Bella?" Edward called again. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be right out," I said in a raised voice. "Well Victoria, as interesting as this conversation has been I have to go. But the next time we talk, you will answer my questions. Got it?"
She took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes, I'll tell you everything I know," she said.
When I walked out, I found Edward leaning against the wall opposite the ladies room. He was dressed in head to toe black with his sleeves rolled up and the first few buttons undone.
"You okay?" he asked as he grabbed for my hands. I looked up to see his eyes filled with worry.
"Yeah, I'm okay," I said reassuringly. "Sorry I bailed like that. How's Aro?"
Edward sighed loudly. "He's fine. I'm the one that had to be escorted out."
I covered my mouth with my hand. "What the hell happened?"
Edward groaned. "James kept going on and on about how we hid behind Aro and he was going to kill us. Bella, he fucking flipped out and no one knows what caused it."
"It was Victoria," I said. I went on to explain the events that led to James outburst and ended with my talk with Victoria in the ladies room.
"So you just walked in there all willy-nilly with no back up? It could have been a ploy to get you alone, Bella," Edward said angrily.
"Ok, hindsight is twenty-twenty," I said reluctantly. Victoria could have been leading me to an ambush and I just ran off without telling someone my whereabouts. "But I think I could have taken her."
Edward smirked. "Oh yeah?"
"You forget, I've been taking boxing lessons with Emmett," I said cheerfully and wrapped my arms around his waist.
He chuckled. "Now, how did I forget that?" he asked sarcastically. "But seriously, please don't take off like that. I nearly had a heart attack when I couldn't find you in the courtroom."
"I'm sorry to worry you," I said squeezing him to me. "I promise to be more careful."
He sighed. "Good," he said. "Let's get out of here, we have eyes."
I looked around to see people openly staring at us. Edward held me close as he led me back to the courtroom. "When I sent the text 'Wish you were here' I didn't expect you to appear out of thin air," I joked.
"We'd just parked when I got that message. Dad and I were about twenty minutes behind," he explained. "Aro called. He was worried about you dealing with the media, especially since he gave his security the morning off."
"I thought if you stayed home I could sneak in and out undetected."
"You're so cute when you're oblivious," he said jokingly. I playfully swatted his arm and walked into the courtroom. We arrived just as the judge took the bench. Alec now stood next to Jane, and James was nowhere in sight. Jane tried to delay the hearing but the judge dismissed her request.
"Alec John Ramsey, I hereby sentence you six years at the Washington Correction Center. You will be eligible for parole in three years from today and not a day sooner," Judge Greene announced. "Also, you're ordered to pay restitution for the medical expenses Edward Cullen incurred due to the injury he suffered at your hands."
"Yes!" I heard Edward mutter loudly.
"But, your honor, this is Mr. Ramsey's first offense!" Jane interrupted the judge as he went on to discuss the fines Alec had to pay as well.
"Counselor, I'm aware it's Mr. Ramsey's first offense, but your client is an officer of the court and he knows the law. Instead of talking his cousin out of the crazy scheme, he went along with it and took the law into his own hands. He went to Mr. Cullen's home with the intent of hurting someone. Mr. Ramsey should be thankful I didn't go for the maximum which is twenty years," he retorted angrily. "Bailiff, please take Mr. Ramsey into custody."
The reality must have hit Alec because he started to cry as the bailiff cuffed him and escorted him out of the court room. "Don't drop the soap, fucker," Edward muttered under his breath.
I squeezed his hand to ease the tension that seemed to radiate from his body. Through this whole process Edward's focus had been my welfare, forgoing his own emotional needs. I realized Edward needed to 'close the door' as much as I did.
A few minutes after Alec was taken away, James returned to the courtroom. After he sat down, the shackles still in place, his hands were a tight ball. He stared straight ahead.
"Mr. Ramsey, this morning I was prepared to sentence you to two years in prison, parole in six months to a year. And since you've been detained since late July, I also planned to include that as 'time served' especially after the glowing letter I received from the warden of the jail," Judge Greene said.
I did a quick calculation and realized he would probably only serve three additional months. "But this morning you walked into my courtroom and tried to attack your wife yet again. So this tells me the time you've spent in jail has not helped you in any way. So, what to do? Decision, decisions, decisions."
I giggled. I felt Edward nudge me, but a ghost of smile was on his lips.
"I say you go fuck yourself," James said loudly.
"James!" Jane exclaimed.
The judged banged his gavel. "Counselor, please control your client," Judge Greene barked.
Jane tried to calm James down in low hush tones but the more she spoke the more agitated he became. "Fuck you, Jane! I told you it wouldn't work!" James hissed. When he banged his balled hands on the table the bailiff stood closer. "She should have been dead! This is your fault!"
When he shoved Jane, the bailiffs circled him and the judge banged his gavel several times. "Bailiff, please take Mr. Ramsey into custody," he yelled over James. "Court is adjourned. Mr. Wiley, Ms. Ramsey – my chambers, now!"
It took two guards to escort James out of the court room but his parting words sent a chill down my spine. "Izzy, I should have killed you when I had a chance!" And I knew he meant those words.
Edward grabbed my hand and led me out of the courtroom. He stood in front of me as some of the members of the press that were allowed inside tried to get a statement. One of the security guards led us away from the mayhem. After a few turns, down several corridors, we reached a side entrance with an awaiting cab.
I left out of sigh of relief when the cab drove away from the courthouse. "Where to?" the cab driver asked.
Edward gave him Aro's address and I leaned back and watched the city pass us by. I was completely numb. I felt Edward's hand gently rub the back of my neck. "Come 'ere."
I eagerly went into his awaiting arms and buried my face in his chest. Edward wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. Between his comforting touch and the drive through the streets of Seattle, I dozed off. His heartbeat thumped loudly, like music to my ears.
oOo
I should have been on top of the world; James was sentenced to five years in the State Penitentiary in a closed court room and I was seven million dollars richer, well more like five after I've repaid Aro. But instead of doing cartwheels down Main Street in downtown Forks, I was currently in the bed nursing a migraine.
Carlisle gave me a mild painkiller and I was just waiting for the lingering pain to go away when I felt Edward slip into bed. He went down to the studio when the tell-tell signs of a new song formed, plus the humming did not help the migraine.
He lifted the pillow off my head and gathered me closer. "How are you feeling?" he whispered.
"Better," I murmured. "The pain behind the eye is finally gone."
He placed gentle kisses on my forehead and eyes, when his lips crept lower down my neck I couldn't contain my smile. I threaded my fingers in his soft hair when his lips met mine, he tasted like orange juice and cigarettes. His hands were under my sweatshirt when I heard a knock on the door.
"Bells?" Jake called out softly.
I bit back a groan out of frustration. "Yeah, Jake, give me a few minutes," I croaked out as Edward kissed my neck.
I heard him chuckle through the door. "Ok, meet you downstairs."
"I came up to tell you that Jake was here," he murmured as he placed soft kisses around my face.
I frowned. "I thought he was spending the day at the reservation."
"Guess he changed his mind."
Fifteen minutes later I showered and changed into dark jeans, an off white ruffled camisole and mustard cropped sweater. I added four inch dark brown boots, brushed my hair and added pink gloss.
When I saw Jake pacing at the bottom of the stairs I grew worried, he wasn't usually so anxious. "Hey, Jake," I said as I came down the steps.
"Hey, yourself," he said and gathered me into a hug.
"Is Leah with you?"
"Yeah," he said hesitantly.
"What?" I asked.
"I brought someone else with me," he hedged. Why is he being so cryptic?
"Seth?" I asked.
"Yeah, I mean no, he's here b-but," he sputtered and his cheeks slightly flushed. "I mean, my dad is here with me."
I was suddenly conflicted, on one hand I missed Billy and on the other I didn't want to see him. It was hard to look at Billy and not think of my father without my heart aching.
I took a deep breath. "Wow, that's great," I said. "It's been a long time since he's been in the area, right?"
"Yeah, I usually meet him in Seattle for a quick weekend, but he wanted to stay in Forks for awhile," Jake explained.
"I'm sure you'll enjoy having your father around," I said. Edward must have sensed my nervousness, and grabbed my hand.
"Yeah, it's going to be great."
When we walked into the living room, Billy was sitting with Leah, Esme and Carlisle. Leah noticed us first and waved us over.
"Bella," Billy said in his gravelly voice.
Hearing his voice, I was suddenly transported back to bonfires during the summer in La Push; Jake and me over-eating hotdogs and roasted marshmallows. Harry Clearwater usually brought out his guitar and played his rendition of Bob Dylan's 'Knocking on Heaven's Door'. As much as I'd loved those evenings, I'd also I hated them because of the overwhelming sadness that plagued my father as he drove us home.
I walked over and gave him an awkward hug. "Hello, Billy," I said. "How do you like New Mexico?" He'd moved to another Quileute reservation there.
"It's nice, but I actually miss the rain," he said with a chuckle.
"Yes, I missed the rain on occasion when I was in Los Angeles," I admitted when I noticed the wooden box on the coffee table. I had major case of déjà vu as I stared at the box. It looked like aged stained wood and stood over a foot high. The slightly rusted crown-shaped brass handles and latches proved this box was very old. My heart raced when I realized where I'd seen this box before. "This was my mother's."
"Yes."
"How did you get it? I haven't seen this since….since," I trailed off when I realized I couldn't remember the last time I saw it.
"Let's give these two some privacy, dinner will be ready soon," Esme announced before Billy could explain.
Everyone followed Esme to the kitchen. Edward was the last one to leave the room and gave me a peck on the cheek before he made his exit.
"Maybe a year after Renee died there was an onslaught of home evasions throughout Forks," he explained. "It was one of the reasons why you were at the reservation so often. Charlie didn't want your mother's jewelry to get stolen in case they decided to rob your house. He said it was part of your inheritance from your mother."
"But why didn't you give it to me when my father died?" I asked, suddenly pissed. Another person hiding something from me? Does it ever end?
"Like I said, it was a part of your inheritance from your mother which your father didn't plan to give to you until you were twenty-five."
"I'm surprised the Ramseys didn't know about it," I murmured.
"I don't think Charlie told anyone other than me about the jewelry box. But I do believe he planned to talk to the new attorney about it."
"Dad was leaving the Ramsey's law firm?"
Billy nodded. "He didn't go into details but I knew he'd had meetings with someone in Seattle. I figured he never had the new will notarized, otherwise they would have contacted you. So I kept the box until now."
The lingering anger I'd felt wasn't valid. I simply couldn't stay angry at Billy because his only fault was carrying out my father's wishes, unlike the Ramseys. I rubbed my fingers over the wood. At first glance the surface seemed smooth, but ridges were rough with age under my fingertips. This is what Alice would call vintage. At least I had something from my family that the Ramsey's could not deny me or take away.
My vision blurred as memories of tea parties with my mom and watching her get dressed for an evening out with my dad swirled in my head, but for once, sadness didn't plague me. "Thank you, Billy," I said, giving him a peck on the cheek.
"Before you were born, my wife, Sarah and I made a promise to your parents to take care of you if something happened to them," he said quietly. "When Sarah died, I was utterly lost. Your mom and dad took care of Jacob when I couldn't, helped him grieve when I could not. At one point, Jake was at your house more than he was at home."
I remembered the many times Jake stayed in our guest bedroom. Whenever he had cried, I'd tried to cheer him up with a game or telling him a bad joke. But mainly, I'd let him cry.
"And just as I started to come out of my fog, your mother died. I tried to be there for you and your dad, but I admit I wasn't much good to him," he continued. "Even though he missed your mother like crazy, he kept his head straight in order to be there for you. You were his world. And when he was killed, I shut down, I wasn't there for you the way I should have been, all I kept thinking about was the fact the three most important people in my life were taken away too soon. You and my kids should have been my first priority and for that, I'm sorry."
I grabbed his hand and intertwined our fingers, looking at the contrast between his russet brown and my pale white fingers. His hands were rough from years of working in construction and whittling. Jake mentioned he helped with the farming on the other reservations. He was basically a man of the earth.
And I missed him.
"Billy…you don't owe me an apology," I said. "I wasn't exactly easy to deal with. You reminded me so much of my dad, it was hard to be around you. And it made me miss him even more."
"I understand what you mean, because looking at you was like seeing both your parents mixed in one, but that's just an excuse, Bells. I was the adult and I promised your parents, and I let them down. That is something I will have to live with for the rest of my days. When Jake finally told me about your husband abusing you… it woke me up, but by then there was nothing I could do and we weren't even speaking."
"Billy-" I started.
"Bella, I love you and I'm so sorry I failed you. I hope you forgive me."
I launched myself into his arms and held him tightly. I took a deep breath, the aroma of old spice, tobacco and wood overloaded my senses. "You didn't fail me Billy. We were simply hurting and too fucking stubborn to fix it. One thing I've learned the last few weeks and need to remember – life's too fucking short to dwell on the past. I will always miss my parents, but having Jake and the Cullens in my life dulls the ache," I said, pulling back and looking him in the eyes. "In order to honor Sarah and my parents we have to embrace life again."
"I'll try," he murmured.
"Do it for Jake," I whispered. "He still needs you."
He smiled. "He's a good man."
"The best," I agreed. "Billy, how do you say 'I love you' in Quileute?"
"Nayeli."
"Nayeli, Billy," I said giving him a peck on the cheek and hugged him tighter. That's how Jacob and Edward found us a few minutes later.
"Everything ok in here?" Jake asked.
Billy gave me another squeeze and smiled. "Yeah, we're good, son," he answered.
"Mom said dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes," Edward said.
"I'm starved," Billy said with a grin. "Why don't you help your old man up?"
Jake came over to the sofa and helped Billy up, guiding him down the hall to the dining room where Esme was putting the final touches on Thanksgiving dinner.
Edward walked over to the sofa and took Billy's spot. "What's in the box?"
"It's my mother's jewelry box," I said gleefully.
"Really? Why did Billy have it?"
"Yeah, apparently my dad didn't want me to have it until I turned twenty-five," I explained. "It doesn't matter, I have it now."
I didn't want to wait any longer. I lifted the lid, and the scent of old wood overwhelmed my senses. The first item that came into view was my mother's pearls. Renee loved to wear different variations, sometimes long and then her single strand she wore on special evenings with my dad. She even had a vintage cameo on a pearl necklace. There was a compartment with several rings securely tucked, yet on display.
Edward opened another compartment. "Wow look at this," he said as he picked up a gold locket with an engraved crown and 'Isabella' on the front. He handed it to me, and with shaking hands I opened the locket. There was a picture of me as a baby and photo of my parents. Edward soothingly rubbed small circles on my back, but not even his touch could stop the flowing tears.
"Is it weird that I don't feel sad?" I asked. "As much as I miss them, I feel like I have a piece of them back."
"They never left you, Bella," he said softly. I couldn't speak but I nodded my head in agreement to his statement. "Turn around and let me put this on you."
I turned and lifted up my hair so Edward could put on the locket. Once it was latched, he placed a kiss on my neck which caused a shiver down my spine. I turned until I was facing him again, he wiped away my tears and leaned in to kiss my lips and then placed a kiss on my forehead.
I took a deep breath. "Let's go eat, I'm suddenly ravenous," I said.
Edward chuckled. "Okay," he murmured and quickly closed the jewelry box. Instead of standing as I expected him to, he stared at the closed box, his long finger tracing the craved crown, his face in deep concentration.
"I guess my mom had a crown fascination."
"I can't imagine your mother driving around with the pink Princess motif like Ace did when she was sixteen," he said with a small chuckle. "Nor do I think Renee had a Princess Diana fascination. I don't know... it reminds me of something and I can't place it."
"It's just an old box," I said with a shrug.
He frowned still staring at the box. "Exactly, this box is more than fifty years old. The lock is tarnished and slightly rusted, that's not just from a few years in the closet. It just feels… old," he said with a shrug and picked up the box and placed in the band's office when my stomach suddenly grumbled loudly. "I guess you're really hungry."
"I told you."
"Come on, you have to taste my broccoli casserole," Edward said as he tugged my hand and led me out of the living room.
"You cooked?"
"Yeah, Jasper wanted quiet to review what I wrote. Anyway, Emmett kept asking my mom to make the casserole but she didn't know your recipe. I volunteered since I knew the basics and made it," he explained.
"I'm stunned."
He chuckled. "I can cook, besides it was either I make it or Em standing outside our door like a lost puppy."
"God, I could hear him, whiny and begging," I said with a chuckle. "Well, I'm impressed."
"Oh babe you haven't heard nothing yet. I even made the yams," he said proudly.
I took a deep breath. "Are you trying to entice me with carbs? Because it's working."
At the entrance to the dining room he stood close to me. "Carbs entices you?" His voice was low and husky. "I also helped make the biscuits-from scratch. I even kneaded the dough by hand."
I could imagine his strong hands squeezing the dough and I was suddenly turned on. "Holy fuck. I think all thoughts of carbs and biscuits made me horny," I whispered. Okay, hornier.
Edward laughed loudly. "Yeah, me too." That's when I realized he needed to adjust himself before we joined everyone. "I've never had food fetishes, but I may have to rethink that." He winked and we walked into the dining room hand and hand.
Its official - I love Thanksgiving!
oOo
In all her excitement to have her family back in Forks for the holiday, over the course of several days, Esme created one of the best Thanksgiving meals I'd ever eaten in my life. The last few years the band had been on tour, and she and Carlisle would either spend the holiday with Aro or fly to where they were playing. Even though she was exhausted, she was all smiles.
It was after ten when Jake finally ventured home with his father and Leah. After discovering Seth could play guitar beyond their expectations, Edward and Jasper convinced him to stay for another jam session. With Aro, Jenks and Avery staying the night, it was a full house, yet far from cramped.
I was on my second Tanqueray Ten and Seven-up when Edward pulled me onto the mock dance floor. "You know I don't dance," I said.
"Bullshit," he retorted. I saw Carlisle gather Esme into his arms when Jasper and Seth started to play. When Alice began to sing 'Can't take my eyes off of you', Emmett and Rose joined us on the dance floor. I nearly melted when I heard him softly sing, "You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off you. You'd be like heaven to touch. I wanna' hold you so much. At long last love has arrived. And I thank God I'm alive. You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off you."
I reached on my tip-toes and kissed his lips. "You're going to spoil me," I murmured.
"Silly, Bella," he said between kisses. "That's the whole point."
When I heard my favorite part of the song, I threw my arms around his neck and sang, "I love you baby. Trust in me when I say, oh pretty baby, don't bring me down, I pray. Oh pretty baby, now that I found you, stay. And let me love you, oh baby, let me love you, oh baby..."
Edward kissed my temple and just held me close for a few moments. I looked around and wished I had my camera because it was truly a Kodak moment. I wanted to capture the way Esme and Carlisle gazed at each other, Aro actually laughing and smiling at something Jenks was saying, Rose staring adoringly at Emmett as he explained something, and Jasper teaching Seth a technique while Ace beamed with pride. This was my new life and I was going to love every minute of it.
"Do you have any assignments booked?" Edward asked suddenly.
"Only the test shoots with Rose and Gwen next week in New York." Due to the trial, I'd missed the big shoot in Chicago and had to turn down several freelancing jobs. I hadn't been in any shape to work. Thankfully, Frank said he'd meet me in New York to help me out with the L.A.M.B. test shots.
"Does that mean she gets to eat again?" he asked. Rose had put herself on restriction until after the photo shoot, which also meant the entire house was on edge.
"Yes, she can eat now, but she's determined to slim down from… well what's smaller than already thin?"
"Oh that's called 'mental'. Nothing is getting in the way of me and my burgers. So nothing else planned?"
"No, nothing set in stone. I planned to call Mike and Frank to find some gigs."
"Perfect. We have a little time before Christmas and thought you and I should take a trip somewhere."
Excitement flowed through me. "When you say 'you and I' this doesn't include your band mates, right?" I asked. I loved them dearly, but I need some peace and quiet.
"Just the two of us," he confirmed.
"Well, hot damn! You know I'm in, so where are we going?" I asked excitedly.
"Wherever we want to go. We could go to Paris or Ireland, hell, we can go to Timbuktu."
I grinned up at him. "You're serious? Don't you have a deadline for the CD?"
"No deadline. Besides, the producer I want to use says he's busy until after February. In all honesty, I need a break from my family, and this other crap. So what do you say?"
I jumped up and down like an overexcited child. "Oh, hell yeah, I'm in!" I practically yelled.
We excused ourselves from the group and went back to our room to discuss the endless possibilities from somewhere tropical to Europe, but crossed off that idea since we'd plan to spend Christmas in Hawaii. Then talked about renting a car and taking a road trip across the southern states. I honestly didn't care about the destination. We were going on our very own escapade. But all that really mattered was being with him – alone.
We'd been in bed for a couple of hours when I remembered I hadn't brought the jewelry box up with us. For once, Edward was dead to the world and I refused to wake him when I was perfectly capable of bringing the box up myself. I crept out of bed as quietly as possible, in a rare moment the house was completely silent.
Despite the dark room, I easily found the box where Edward left it on the desk. After several attempts I realized the box was too heavy to lift and would have to wait until the next morning to have one of the guys move it to the bedroom.
Curiosity got the best of me and instead of going back to bed I turned on the lights and began going through the jewelry box. I removed two compartments on the top where I found another compartment that held black jewelry pouches. I grabbed one randomly and found diamond studs. The moment I saw them I knew they were not cubic zirconia.
In fact, Esme often wore her studs that Carlisle bought years before. I reached for another small pouch and found a diamond ring this time. Oh fuck! I dropped everything and ran up the stairs, when I burst into the bedroom Edward sat straight up.
"Bella?" he mumbled but I didn't reply, I grabbed his hand practically dragged him out of bed. "Babe, what's going on?"
"You have to see it to believe it," I said in disbelief. "I was going through my mother jewelry box, you'll never believe what I found. And since I'm not jewelry savvy you're going to have to help me."
When we entered the office I grabbed the diamond ring and handed it to him. He looked at it and his eyes widened, he looked at me and then the ring again. He approached the box and started going through the contents. "Grab a pen and your camera," was all he said.
"Why?" I asked, but followed instructions.
"Because we need to take this to an appraiser and I want everything listed. I'm not the best at identifying gems, but I'm pretty sure this isn't fake." My stomach dropped. "Once we're done we'll wake Aro or my father up, one of them has to know an appraiser we can see on short notice."
"Think they can get someone on Black Friday?" I asked.
"I hope so."
While Edward created a list, I snapped two to three photos per item. We worked silently for nearly two hours and with each item I photographed only one question seemed to pop up: where did this jewelry come from? My father was the Chief of the police for a small town. There were tough times, and though we never went hungry, there was no way he could afford this.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Edward muttered. I looked up to see him pull out what looked to be velvet jewelry cases in various sizes. He handed me the largest case, my hands shook when I looked inside and quickly snapped the case shut, trying to compartmentalize what I'd just seen. "Wow, that bad?"
I could not reply and watched as he opened the box, his mouth dropped in stunned silence as he took in the two tiered necklace with dime-sized rubies, surrounded by tiny diamonds, as if holding the rubies in place. It was something fit for Princess Diana, not the wife of the Chief of Police in Forks, Washington.
"My father couldn't afford all this." There, I'd said the words out loud but it did not ease the uneasiness that crept upon me. Which left only one conclusion, and I refused to allow my thoughts to go there.
"No, he couldn't," Edward agreed. "But he knew where they came from."
"What are you trying to say?"
"Exactly what you're too afraid to say, it's possible this stuff is stolen."
Why is he being so callous? "Fuck you!"
"Fuck me? Bella, even I know you're not so naïve to think Charlie wouldn't know about this?" he yelled.
"Don't you dare judge him, you didn't even know my father. So, don't act like you did! My father was too ethical, too honorable to steal," I fired back. I wouldn't allow anymore doubts about my father to plague me. Even though I was unsure about where the contents of this box had come from, I sure as hell wasn't going to let anyone defile his name, not even Edward.
"From the looks of things you didn't know him as well as you thought you did," he said in a frustrated voice. "I don't need to know Charlie to know ethics be damned when it came to you and your mother. There's no such thing as 'ethics' when it comes to protecting the person you love, Bella."
"If you already have ethics, you don't suddenly lose them, they stay with you at all times," I retorted. "So just don't go there."
Edward moved closer to me until we were eye to eye. "When you left the courtroom James made comments about you and my family that enraged me so much I felt as though I was having an out of body experience. And he kept going on and on about how he couldn't wait to finally finish the job and snap your neck, and I swear to you, Bella, I saw red. I just launched at him and during that whole time I thought if I could get my fingers around his neck I could put him out of his misery. It'll finally be over," he said in a low voice, his body vibrated as though he was trying to contain the anger once again. "So if your father felt a tenth of what I feel when it comes to you then I can understand him going outside the law."
His words made my heart race so fast you'd think I ran a marathon, my vision blurred. "Edward, James was just taunting you. I don't think I could survive if anything happens to you. I-I," I started to stutter as the tears clogged my throat. I honestly did not think I could survive being apart from him again. He pulled me into his arms and murmured reassuring words.
"Babe, I just want you to know I'm not saying Renee or Charlie stole this, but I want you to be prepared for anything. Okay?"
He was right, of course. I'd been just a kid when my parents had passed away, and I'd placed them on a pedestal and never took them down. They were imperfect people with their own demons and secrets.
"Let me go get Aro," he said a few minutes later, and ran upstairs to get his uncle. While Edward was out of the room, I photographed the last few items and thought about what Edward said; he'd voiced what I was too afraid to say and too scared to admit.
As I took in everything on the table, I realized my memories of my mother were hazy; there were certain moments that were so close it was as though it had just happened yesterday. But some moments I wondered if I'd made them up, making Edward's sharp words cut deeper – I didn't know my parents.
Edward walked back in with Aro and Jenks in tow. They both questioned me about the box but I had no real answers.
"Well, I've sent enough jewelry to know this is real," Aro muttered.
Jenks sighed. "Please tell me that you didn't send anything to the current one, she's a bitch."
"We're not here to discuss my sex life, but for the record, no she hasn't received anything."
"You brought it up," Jenks retorted. That's how Aro and Jenks worked. I noticed they bickered and made crude jokes when things were tense. Some days there were more father/daughter than employee/employer and at the moment, it was a mix of the two.
"Bella, you know I've done a background check on your dad. Everything checked out there and you know most of the findings, but when it comes to your Renee, there's not much. But with this," she said pointing to the contents, "We have a new lead, once I have some answers I will give you an update."
My chest started to hurt. "How long do you think it'll take?" I asked.
She scrunched her face as she thought about it. "I wish I could give you a better timeline but let's meet again in early January."
I nodded. "January it is."
"I'll call the jeweler in the morning since we can't get this insured until after it's appraised. Are you going back to Los Angeles?" he asked.
"No, New York, but we planned a trip afterward," Edward said.
"Ok, I will keep the box in the safe at the office. It's more secured."
"Thank you, Aro."
He gave me a rare smile. "Anytime."
It was well after four in the morning by the time Edward and I made it back to bed. In our usual fashion, I laid my head on his chest, ad listened to his strong heartbeat which was strong and steady - like him. I was exhausted, but knew I couldn't sleep until I'd cleared the air with Edward.
"I'm sorry," I said. "I picked a fight because you were saying everything I was already thinking."
"I figured as much, and I would have reacted the same way if it was my family," he admitted and then yawned loudly. "Now let's get some sleep, I have a feeling we're going to need to be rested to deal with this."
I reached up and kissed his lips and then placed a kiss on his heart. "Good night," I murmured.
"Good night babe," he whispered. As I was drifting off I could hear him softly humming my lullaby.
A/N: So what do you think? Like, hate, or just blah? either way please leave a review!