Chapter Nineteen

Queen of Clubs…

This was it her last chance to do something normal before the truth came out about the Espada. Orihime sighed thinking of how her confession would sound. Perhaps she was a bit too loud because Rangiku who was busy working on Orihime's hair spoke up.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh it's nothing. My mind is just temporarily somewhere else," Orihime explained.

Her apartment became a miniature salon/clothing boutique seemingly overnight. It seemed like Rangiku enjoyed making paper dolls out of all the girls. She couldn't spend squad 10's earnings on herself and Orihime's place gave her an outlet for her fashionista urges.

Yoruichi rolled her eyes still flipping through magazines on Orihime's bed. Orihime didn't have an explanation for Yoruichi's sudden interest in fashion. It was unclear why everyone had to hang out at her place in the first place.

Riruka and Rukia had a constant battle over all things cute. Orihime and Yoruichi had a thing for all things yummy.

Riruka, Hiyori, Tatsuki and Mashiro were noticeably absent. Hiyori and Tatsuki shared an affinity for music. Meanwhile Mashiro outdid Rangiku's passion for shopping.

Orihime's place had become a second version of the Society of Female Shinigami but most of the time Rukia was the only Shinigami among the group.

"Take a look," Rangiku said holding up the mirror, "your hair looks gorgeous better than expected."

Orihime admired the up do with a few cascading curls, "Thank you."

"No problem I'll let you decide where to put Sora's pins," Rangiku replied taking a seat on the bed next to Yoruichi.

Orihime picked up her hair pins a precious gift from her late brother Sora she thought of him. What would he say to her on a day like today? Would he be happy that Uryû was taking her to the dance? What would he say to her as she left out the door?

She placed the pins in her hair. He would never be forgotten she thought smiling at her refection as she stood to get her gown.

A loud crash in the restroom got their attention.

"Rukia," Orihime called out.

"Is everything alright in there," Yoruichi said smiling.

"I'm fine," Rukia's voice sung out through the closed-door.

"Good grief," Rangiku said to herself, "I wish I could buy a nice outfit and go but Captain expects me back."

"Thanks so much for helping me Rangiku," Orihime said.

"First named basis eh," Yoruichi said standing up.

"It makes me feel youthful," Rangiku said, "besides forget leaving just yet I can't wait to see the looks on the boys' faces."

With giddy hand claps Rangiku made her way to the restroom to check on Rukia's progress. It was good that the girls didn't question Rangiku's station here. They seemed to accept that she was there just out of her own curiosity. That was a partial truth anyway. She did love the clothes and the distraction from missing Gin. She loved everything about Senior High School from a distance.

"Are you two always going to show up every time we have a date and just how do you know about these things anyway," Rukia said adjusting the straps on her heels.

Here go the questions.

"Cute shoes I'm soooo jealous," Rangiku said nearly in tears.

"Quit yammering about everything Rangiku," Yoruichi said.

"I'm always so afraid of heels that high I might fall over. Well you girls have fun," Rangiku said staring at the soul pager in her hand.

Rukia looked at her shoes they didn't seem that high to her she loved the orchid color and they matched her dress.

"They are cute almost murderously so," Yoruichi said, "The stiletto sharp high and to the point."

"It certainly does seem like a weapon. Do you intend to kill Ichigo," Rangiku joked.

"Funny," Rukia shrugged and pushed Rangiku out of the room.

"I can't blame a short thing like yourself from enhancing your height but just how long do you think you can last in shoes like that," Yoruichi asked.

"They aren't quite stilettos," Rukia held up a finger, "second they fit great, third I move quite well in them and fourth I had to get rid of a lot of hollows to get them and that's been difficult with so many of you guys crowding the scene."

"She means business I think we should go Yoruichi," Rangiku said.

Orihime laughed as the two left the apartment.

000

Rukia paused, memories flooding her consciousness. This was the exact spot she would never forget. The day Renji and Byakuya came for her to bring her back to the Seireitei. This was the place Ichigo fell. This was the place she believed him to have died as she went back to accept her punishment.

Knowing all she knew now about Sôsuke and his plot she couldn't thank Ichigo enough for saving her. Her life would have been sacrificed for…nothing.

"I don't know how to start it's been a long while since this subject has even entered my mind," Rukia said walking besides the railing.

"Do you think you could switch with me and just walk on this side," Ichigo asked.

"I won't tell you how idiotic you sound," she said glancing at the railing as she switched with him.

"It's this place. I don't think I've been here since that night," Ichigo said looking at the ground.

"You probably wonder about what my brother said to me that night," Rukia said slowing down because Ichigo wasn't moving.

"Whatever you have to say…it's me so go on and say it," Ichigo said catching up with her.

"We're so involved now if we go any further you'll only end up getting hurt more," Rukia said.

"They are just words…why do you think I came after you. I could see it in your eyes that you were trying to protect me," Ichigo said.

"That's not what I mean. The painful memories are so fresh like it happened just yesterday. I wonder what you will think of me-

"It's me and you, Rukia…me and you. Whatever it is you can tell me. I'll listen when you're ready to tell me," he smiled. It was variation of a line she once said to him. She was ready to tell him. She should have told him so long ago but that was all the past so she pressed forward.

"You are aware of what they say about you Ichigo," Rukia asked.

"I never cared about-

"I know but I'm sure you've heard things. Things like: doesn't he look like…they resemble each other…?"

"If you're talking about my dad absolutely not we're nothing alike no freaking way," Ichigo said waving off the thought.

Rukia laughed a little to herself, "Idiot why would I find that difficult to tell you. You're obviously like your father."

"What, you are serious?"

"That's a whole other conversation but yeah you two are-

"Don't even say it. I worked hard to build up a reputation. Don't turn me into someone as lame as my father," Ichigo said jokingly.

"Ichigo and his reputation," Rukia smirked and continued walking.

"How much walking are we going to do anyway," Ichigo said eyeing the park bench. It amazed him that she managed to walk so far in heels like that without complaining.

"They aren't bad and I like the height," Rukia said following his gaze.

"But no one can walk around in dress shoes all night and not get tired geese," he said.

"Alright," Rukia sat on the bench and leaned her head back looking up at the sky. She could use a break.

Ichigo sat beside her.

"You know how Renji told you about my feelings back when you were trying to save me from the execution," Rukia asked.

"Yes and forget this try, I saved you. So what about it," Ichigo asked.

"He didn't tell you about squad 13 did he," Rukia asked.

"I didn't ask about it," Ichigo said. This wasn't like her to drag an explanation out for so long. But she did like to talk a lot.

"Ukitake the Captain of squad 13-

That did it, Ichigo thought.

"I don't need a lesson about the leaders I think I know them all by now geese give me a little credit," Ichigo said folding his arms behind his head.

"Don't make this harder," Rukia said.

"Sorry, are you alright," he asked turning to look at her. She nodded but continued looking up at the sky.

"Our squad since that time has never had a lieutenant," Rukia said.

"Until now you mean and I think I heard a little about it before go on," Ichigo said just so she knew he was still hearing her.

"Kaien Shiba was the lieutenant of squad 13. He was a great guy, loved by everyone…and besides Renji he was the only one who saw me for me. Not someone from the Ryukon or Princess Kuchiki," Rukia said smiling at the memories the good times the happy faces.

"Shiba, like Ganju. I remember them talking about it. Their brother was killed by a Shinigami…oh I'm-

"It is alright. It is alright. I just…thanks to you I can be forgiven by them. But forgiving myself was a whole different thing," Rukia said.

"Kaien my look alike; you killed him are you sure that's what happened," Ichigo asked in disbelief.

She simply nodded her head and continued telling her story.

"His wife Miyako was everything I imagined myself being as a woman, a Shinigami and as a noble. I just admired her. As an orphan I never met such sophistication and beauty teamed with such strength," Rukia said.

"I guess not compared to Renji," Ichigo joked.

Rukia laughed at that and let some time pass before she sat up to tell the rest of the story.

"Miyako was out fighting the Hollows and was turned in the battle. When we found her team she had killed everyone completely taken over by the Hollow. Kaien begged to go after her. Ukitake let him go. It was a hard decision for him but he let him go…then…I…," Rukia broke off composing herself.

"Take your time," Ichigo said.

The pain of it all washed over her in waves. The tears on her cheek left him discomforted but seemed to upset her. He wiped the tears away pulling her close to him.

"I didn't think I would cry. I thought I was past it somehow but talking about it is harder than I thought it would be," Rukia said leaning on his shoulder.

"I know. It comes up…the pain comes back at the oddest moments even as you think you're being so strong," Ichigo said. He was sure that her first statements about being Kaien's killer couldn't possibly be true. He just hated her putting herself through so much pain when he could already tell what happened.

Her hands grabbed fists full of his jacket as she continued, "The hollow had the ability to dissolve a Shinigami's Zanpaku-tô. Kaien was left to fight it alone. I…I had a choice to help him or let him go…I let him go he was turned Hollow. I couldn't stand to see the man I admired so much like that. I lifted my sword and I saved myself."

Ichigo pictured the scene a lot different from what she described but he patiently listened as she continued to take the blame. He heard parts of this story before he was sure of it but he didn't know where. Could it have been Sôsuke?

"He died by my hand as rain continued to drown me. That memory haunts me from time to time," Rukia said.

"Are we that similar," Ichigo asked.

"You're actually very different. That wasn't what caused me pain," Rukia said looking at him. Trying to gauge what he thought.

"Renji told me what you foolishly believed. The day you gave me my powers you didn't do it because I looked like Kaien. It wasn't because of that jerk Sôsuke's schemes.

You did it so that I could save my family. Because of you…I finally found out what killed my mother. I've let it go. You should let go too Rukia it wasn't your fault," Ichigo said.

"I know," Rukia said looking at him, "I know I'm the fool this time."

"So why tell me all this now," Ichigo asked.

"There's more," Rukia said relaxing a little.

"More what?"

"In Hueco Mundo when we were all separated the opponent who nearly killed me…the Espada Noveno had Kaien's body," Rukia said.

"Just like that time with my mother," Ichigo asked.

"A little too close to that time," Rukia said.

"What do you mean, did you face Grand Fisher," Ichigo asked.

"No…well maybe…it's complicated so you should ask your father about that-

"He's not likely to bring up that Hollow lightly," Ichigo said.

"He took care of Grand Fisher when we were all busy fighting Grimmjow," Rukia said.

"Because it survived and mom…I'm sorry you were telling me about the Espada," Ichigo said motioning for her to continue.

"The Hollow merged with Kaien he was a Parasitic Hollow, that was his thing. He had all of Kaien's memories and abilities. He presented himself as Kaien in a normal body. I was so fooled I had hoped…was so blinded to that hope that somehow the thing smiling at me was Kaien I nearly lost my life," Rukia said.

Ichigo thought back to that time. The whole time he didn't once ask Rukia about the battles she faced in Hueco Mundo. He knew about Espada Diez/Cero Yammy but he never considered just how bad it was for her to take on an enemy disguised as her mentor.

"You're too quiet Ichigo," Rukia said snapping him out of his thoughts.

"I'm sorry," Ichigo said.

"Why are you apologizing," Rukia asked.

"I was told that you died. Ulquiorra used that to lure me into battle when I should have gone to you," Ichigo said.

"Don't be stupid. We were sent to save Orihime. I wouldn't forgive you if you came for me," Rukia said.

"I nearly died in that battle but Orihime saved me. Uryû nearly…I hurt my own friends and turned into something I didn't even recognize. Those monsters hurt so many-

"Ichigo that all happened so long ago and we all came back like we promised. Nii-sama came for me and saved me. I'll have to thank Uryû and Orihime 1000 more times when I see them and Sado and Renji too," Rukia said squeezing him.

"Thank you for telling me but it changes nothing. I just understand your pain a little more. As for Byakuya I'll have to come up with a way to thank him," Ichigo smiled at her.

"Thank you," Rukia said.

"I never asked about it so you owed me nothing," Ichigo said.

"It's never that easy."

"With us it is. It's you and me Rukia. That's just how it is. You changed my life. This long drawn out story was just so you could tell me that you think I changed you too," Ichigo said.

"The things that Sôsuke said about the Hôgyoku never made much sense to me because I knew my own motivations," Rukia said.

"I know you're motivation as well as you must know mine. Everything I've done was to protect my friends I can live with all of it that's all that matters," Ichigo said.

The night air cooled a bit and the stars in the sky increased since they sat on the bench. No orders came in as they continued to sit silently. The truth was out there and she wasn't surprised by how he took the results of her confession.

"You don't even wonder about why you look so much like Kaien," Rukia asked.

"I guess if I knew him I would wonder. But it's kind of like someone saying you look like that TV personality or you remind me of that guy I saw in the shopping market," Ichigo replied standing up.

"There's no danger of anyone mistaking you for anyone but Ichigo," Rukia grinned getting up from the bench.

"Whatever," Ichigo said shrugging, "save those jokes for Renji. Besides I heard it all before. If it bothered me I know where to find hair dye."

Ichigo walking on ahead of Rukia hands in pocket.

"Renji is one to talk," Rukia said.

"Where do you want to go now?"