Disclaimer: The author of the fan fiction does not, in any way, profit from the story and all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator(s).

Spoilers!

Upload Date: 23.02.13

Chapter Rating: T

Chapter Summary: After Alexis is found, Castle and Beckett talk about... lots of stuff.

#47

It was Martha who answered the door.

"Kate," she greeted warmly.

"Hi, Martha."

"Richard's in Alexis's room - making sure she's still there, I think."

"How is she?"

"Good, just a little shaken and tired. Very relieved to be home. I think she might take a little break from classes for a while."

"That sounds like a good idea."

"Do you want to come in?"

"Oh, I don't want to intrude - "

Intrude? Don't be ridiculous," said Martha, practically pulling her in to the loft. "You're Richard's girlfriend - you are still his girlfriend, right?'

"Yes, of course!"
"Alright, well, just checking. It's been a day of surprises."

"Right, Rick's father. How do you feel about that?"

Martha sighed.

"I don't know what to feel. It was so long ago. I barely remember that much about him anymore. It was only one night. I can't imagine what Richard must be feeling after all this. Are you coming?"

"Where?"

"Upstairs, to Alexis's room."

"Oh, I can just wait for him out there."

"Well, you'll be waiting a while. I have a feeling he'll be with her all night."

"Well, in this case - "

"Oh, stop being ridiculous. I'm sure Richard would love to see you."

Beckett sucked in a breath, and then awkwardly, reluctantly followed.

Martha discretely made herself scarce as they reached Alexis's room. Beckett popped her head in and melted at the look on Castle's face as he sat in a chair besides her bed, watching his daughter sleeping. Part of her wanted to take a picture, to capture this moment, that expression, forever. The other half felt like she was intruding on a private moment. She made to leave -

"Kate?"

She took a deep breath and stepped inside.
"Hey," she said softly.

He rose and walked towards her. She couldn't help herself. She embraced him, clinging on for dear life.

"Thank God you're ok," she breathed into his shoulder.

After a few moments of basking in his presence, they finally broke off.

"You'll, have to make a statement," she whispered. "Alexis, too."

"First thing in the morning," he promised.

"Ok." Becket turned to leave.

"Wait."

She turned back.

"Stay."

She couldn't resist a small smile at the vulnerability in his tone, the hesitancy in his eyes, as if she could ever say no, as if she might want to leave.

"Of course."

"Maybe we should - " he eyed Alexis.

"Yeah, good idea," she agreed.

They left the door partially open and sat on the floor of the hallway, their backs against the wall.

"So..." she said eventually, "what has your biological father got to do with this?"

Castle threw his head back against the wall and inhaled. As he exhaled, he turned to her.
"If he even is my father. He's a lot older now. Mother couldn't be sure from the sketch - and he didn't exactly leave any DNA samples."

Becket nodded slowly.

"But he is a spy, so, if he believes it - and that's a big if; he could be lying, spies do that a lot - then it's probably true. Which is not only creepy, but probably how Al Masri linked him to Alexis. They were keeping tabs on him, he was keeping tabs on us... it's all very Evelyn Ward-Thomas.
"I know it's not fair to blame him. He did his best to keep us safe, he told me, he kept his distance obviously but... his best wasn't good enough. Being a father isn't an... ejaculation; it's a choice. You make your choice and you live with it. Either you stick around, are a part of your kid's life, have them know you exist, or you have nothing to do with them. No in-between. The guy had no right to know how I was doing, give me CIA clearance, no right to keep an eye on Alexis and because of his sloppiness; I just spent the last few days in the worst..." He trailed off, trying to calm himself down.

Beckett put her hand on his shoulder.

"Y'know, when Alexis was a few months old, this weird guy showed up, claiming he'd had an affair with Meredith, and that he was Alexis's real father."

Beckett stared. Wow.

"Meredith swore black and blue that she'd never even met the guy, and at the time I believed her, I dismissed him as just some loser looking for a payout. It wasn't until three years later Meredith told me she was sleeping with her director and that she was moving to California and wanted a divorce that I took him seriously. I didn't know if Meredith would want custody, and if she did, whether she would try to use it against me, I just knew I couldn't lose Alexis. Whatever genetics or biology said, she was my daughter. I changed her diapers. I read to her every night. I protected her from monsters, I gave her Monkey Bunkey, and I taught her the night-night song. I was not going to be pushed out on a technicality. So, I had a DNA test done, to be prepared, see how hard I would have to fight if it came to that."

She didn't know any of that - but the part about Meredith cheating wand initiating the divorce was interesting. Very interesting.

"Fortunately, Meredith was more than happy from me to have custody, so long as she was allowed unlimited visitation, at least one vacation with her a year and could contact her whenever she wanted. That's always been the agreement."

"And the test?"

"It doesn't matter what the test said. It just confirmed what I already knew. She's mine, in every way."

They exchanged small smiles.

"It is nice to know I have a spare kidney if I ever need one, I guess."

Beckett shook her head in amusement and rested her head on his shoulder.

Castle gave a little smirk, stroking her hair softly as he continued.
"A few years ago, I found out through a mutual friend that that guy claiming to have had a romantic tryst with Meredith was gay. He really was after a pay-day. Meredith was telling the truth the whole time. I should have known. She was totally up-front about the director.
"The point is, I'm not Alexis's father because I slept with her mother; I'm her father because of every decision I made after that - good and bad.
"Ever since Sophia planted that seed in my head, I pictured this suave James Bond type; this guy's more like Rambo - which is cool, but..."

"It's not the type of protaginist you would write."

"You know me so well."

She shrugged.
"I feel like I've gotten to know you better over the last few days."

Beckett didn't know if it was the fact that he was opening up to her, or that after this whole ideal she felt closer to him than ever, or if there had been so many times during the course of the investigation that she had just wanted - needed - to say it, but couldn't, that she couldn't hold it in any more, or if she felt he just needed to hear it right now, but regardless, she made a choice of her own.

"Would this be an inappropriate time to tell you..." she trailed off.

He raised his eyebrows.
"Depends on what it is. My daughter is in the next room, you know."

"Head out of the gutter," she teased. "It's just, your daughter was kidnapped, you met your father, and I really don't want to make it about me..."

"Kate, you can tell me anything any time."

She nodded.
"What if I told you... that I love you?"

Her words hung in the air for a few moments.

Finally he sat up and turned to her, his small smile gradually growing, lighting up his features, his weary eyes sparkling for the first time in three days - oh, it made her stomach do that flippy thing, and her heart melt,

"I can't think of a more appropriate moment," he replied, placing a hand on her knee and his lips on her forehead.

Wow. Writing this made me realise how little it would take for them to have these conversations - I rolled them all up into one and it just spans about a thousand words. How much is that in tv time? Two minutes? Oh, well, that's up to Marlowe et al.