Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight but it owns me...most days.
Hey Party People,
Again sorry for the delay! I won't bore you with excuses but I hope people are still around….
(((crickets)))
Yeah okay, I understand, I would have bailed too.
But for those of you who stuck around I want to say THANK YOU!
And I want to give a big shout out to Yvette & Krysti for dealing with my wishy washy ass. Also, I wrote an Awakening Outtake for the Fandom4Twifang compilation and will be posting in November.
That's all for now….
Last time on Awakening...
Mike and Emmett had just returned as I was saying my goodbyes when I heard Bella gasp, then grab my arm tightly. We turned to see her staring at the entrance of the bar. "Edward, I think I've had too much to drink. Do you see a tall black man with dreads behind that woman?" she frantically asked in my ear.
I looked at the entrance again and saw Katy Perry and her fiance Russell Brand, followed by one of my ex-lovers, Rhianna, walk through the door. For once, it wasn't Rhi's long legs that held my attention, I was focused on the man behind her instead. "Yes," I answered. "Who is he?"
"Laurent."
Epov
I looked at the entrance again and saw Katy Perry and her fiancé Russell Brand, followed by one of my ex-lovers, Rhianna, walk through the door. For once, it wasn't her long legs that held my attention; but, the man behind her did. "Yes," I answered. "Who is he?"
"Laurent."
Fuck! When we first arrived in New York, Bella thought she saw him on the train but hadn't seen him since. "Mike, Emmett... I think we have trouble," I said and nodded towards Laurent. I quickly explained who he was, yet not sure why he was here.
I started to walk past Rhianna when she grabbed my arm. "Hey, you're not even going to say hello? What the fuck?" she asked jokingly. She and I were never exclusive, we scratched an itch from time to time.
"Sorry, I need to talk to someone," I said my gaze on Laurent.
"You know Laurent?" she asked.
I looked at her to see her gaze was focused on Laurent as well. "No, not officially. You know him?"
"I couldn't sit at home and wait for you," she said as she batted her lashes seductively, but I refused to take the bait. "I'm just kidding you know. My old body guard got a better deal protecting the Jolie-Pitt crew, so Russell recommended him. This week is basically a consulting gig to see if I want to add him to my security detail on a permanent basis."
Before I could respond I saw Bella stumble towards Laurent. "Bella," I called out but she ignored me.
"So I wasn't hallucinating, you are here in New York," Bella said shakily.
"Guilty," he replied with a sarcastic smile. "Unlike you, I'm here on business."
Bella scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Business?" she asked with a slightly slurred voice. "Does this business include reporting my whereabouts back to Jane?"
Laurent chuckled. "If Jane is still keeping tabs on you, I can guarantee the information isn't coming from me," he replied.
Bella put her hands on her hips and swayed a little. "Oh really?" she asked skeptically. "So it wasn't your guys who followed me the other night."
Laurent frowned. "No, my men and I have been busy with adjusting to my client's schedule," he said. "I admit I followed you on the subway because I was shocked to see you in New York. But I didn't follow you after you got off at Battery Park."
Bella shook her head as she took deep breathes; I didn't have to be next her to know she was beyond frustration, it oozed from her body. She anxiously ran her fingers through her hair; then she looked up at Laurent. I only saw the years of pain, frustration and anger in her eyes. "She's about to blow," Emmett said from behind me, and that's when I noticed her balling her right fist; without another word to Rhianna, I made my way over to Bella and Laurent.
"Liar," Bella yelled and pushed an off guard Laurent with all her strength. Everyone in the room turned to look at her and Laurent. "You're a fucking liar! You tell them to leave me the fuck alone! And if they don't stop, so help me God, I will sue them for harassment."
By the time we reached Bella, Laurent's men surrounded her as though they were going to pounce. I wedged my way between the guys who stood over her, but Bella was oblivious to them since her focus was on Laurent. "Back the fuck up," I snarled. It didn't matter that he was closer to six foot five and outweighed me by twenty pounds of muscle. But there was no way I was going to allow him to push Bella around.
"What are you going to do?" the guy yelled in my face and then pushed me.
I pushed him back. "Touchez-la et je vais vous foutre en l'air si mal votre propre mère ne sera pas en mesure d'identifier votre corps," I said in a low voice. The guy eye-balled me, but I wasn't intimidated. "Try me, I have nothing to lose."
My gaze never wavered; not even when I heard Emmett and the other guy yelling at each other in French. To those watching it may seem as though Emmett was going to lose his cool soon, but I wasn't worried about him because I knew he could handle himself.
My main concern was an irate Bella who seemed determined to get to Laurent. "Bella, come on honey let's go" Rose said coming to my rescue and tried to coax Bella away.
"No, Rose! I have to make them stop!" Bella screeched. I knew it was partially the alcohol, but it was also years of built up frustration.
"Gérard! Léon! Statif vers le bas! Elle n'est pas une menace!" Laurent yelled and his men reluctantly backed down.
"I know sweetie and we will. But right now let's get you upstairs," Rose said firmly and from the corner of my eye I could see her lead Bella away.
"I apologize for the behavior of my men."
"I don't know what game you're playing, but leave us the fuck alone. Like Bella said, if this keeps up we will sue you for harassment," I said, my gaze never wavering. He gave me a slight nod and I walked away. Emmett and I found Rose, along with Jess sitting on over-sized chairs in the corner of the lobby with a distressed Bella. Jess noticed me first and gave a small wave; Bella looked up, jumped up and ran into my arms.
"Hey," I said softly in her hair.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me," she mumbled into my chest and held me tighter.
"You're just stressed out," I reasoned. "Come on, let's get you to bed." I thought about what transpired the last ten minutes and wondered how we could have gone from having a great time to dealing with this Ramsey shit - again.
We were waiting at the elevator bank when Laurent approached us. "What do you want?" Emmett barked. "You guys can't take the fucking hint? Leave her alone." At this point, if my brother unleashes his anger; I don't think I had the strength to stop him.
Laurent held up his hands defensively. "I just want to talk," he said. "Please, Izzy."
Bella stiffened at the nickname, stepped out of my arms and faced Laurent. "Fine but don't…don't call me that name," Bella said as she stumbled over her words. During the trial Bella explained how she hated being called 'Izzy' and how it made her skin crawl; because that's what the Ramsey's called her. "Isabella is fine."
"Thank you Isabella. I know you have no reason to believe me, but please believe me when I say I'm not in contact with James or Jane," Laurent said. "I know it was wrong of me to follow you on the subway, but I just wanted to see if you were alright."
Bella eyed him skeptically and then nodded. "Okay, fine, I'll let the subway go, but what about when I was in Los Angeles?" she asked. "Was that you?"
Laurent had the audacity to look sheepish. "Yes, I was keeping tabs on you while you were in Los Angeles," he admitted.
Bella's shoulders sagged. "Why?"
Laurent sighed. "Money. Basically, I fucked up my reputation and my business in Chicago," he started to explain. Chicago? "I was desperate for cash. And with the amount of money Jane threw at me; it was enough to start over here in New York, but I told her it was the last time and not to contact me again."
"Great, so she's sending someone else to watch me," Bella said in a frustrated voice.
"It looks that way," Laurent said distractedly, his gaze focused on her chest. Before I could say something he reached for Bella's locket and inspected it. "This is….a beautiful piece of jewelry."
Bella frowned. "Um, thanks," she said irritability.
Laurent simply nodded, then smiled and said, "Isabella, it doesn't matter who Jane sends to watch you."
Bella and I shared a look. "And why is that?" she asked tiredly.
"You did the one thing she tried to prevent…. you set yourself free," he said cryptically.
"I don't understand," Bella murmured tiredly.
"Despite all my wrong doing, I had one goal."
"A goal?" Bella asked sarcastically. "Let's see, was it to see if I would have a broken limb or just good old fashion bruising. Or was there a bet to see if I would die in my sleep from internal bleeding? Please enlighten me on this precious goal."
Laurent looked pained from her questions.
"Answer her," Emmett said.
"Isabella, believe it or not, my goal was to keep you alive. James wanted you dead, and at one point he and Jane had a plan to make it look like an accident. When Victoria caught wind of their plan, she called me immediately. You don't understand how hard we worked to make them change their minds."
"Yeah, James has made it perfectly clear that he wanted me dead; tell me something I don't know," Bella replied sarcastically. "Why did you even try?"
"Cause I felt responsible," he murmured softly.
"But not responsible enough to help me escape from that hell."
Before he had a chance to respond, Rihanna called out for Laurent. "I'll be right there," he told her and turned back to Bella. "I'm sorry, deep down I knew I should have done more, but I never said I was perfect. Please, Isabella, just remember...you're free now, that's all that really matters. Just….live."
We were left there stunned because what he said didn't make sense. "What that fuck was that?" Rose asked breaking the silence.
"I'm not sure," I said.
Bella rolled her eyes and swayed. "I'm free?" she asked. "No shit Sherlock."
"Let's get upstairs," Emmett said quietly.
As we all entered the elevator I realized Mike wasn't with us. "Where's Mike?"
"He's talking to management – damage control," Jess replied.
The ride up was daftly quiet until Bella announced she wanted to hurl. "Lord, that girl can't hold her liquor," Rose muttered.
"I don't think mixing champagne, wine and tequila was a good idea," I replied dryly and rubbed Bella's back. "Babe, try to hold on a little bit longer." Thankfully we made it to the suite without incident. After Bella paid homage to the porcelain Gods, I helped her clean up into a fresh pair of pajama's and then into bed. Once I was sure she was asleep, I went to the bathroom to pick-up Bella's discarded clothes and shoes off the floor and placed them in the bag designated for our soiled clothing when I noticed her locket on the floor.
I stared at the locket she found in the jewelry box a few weeks ago; it was her most treasured item. If Bella had been sober, it would have never ended up on the floor. I opened the locket and stared at the photo of Bella and her parents, particularly Renee. As a baby, Bella favored her father, but as an adult, Bella was almost a carbon copy of Renee. I pray our children take after her because I looked like a weird bird until I was twelve.
When I closed the locket I turned it over to look at the back - a crown. It seemed as though it was a running theme when it came to this unearthed box; more like the never ending story. With no other information, our minds ran wild; were Charlie and Renee jewel thieves who hid out in the Pacific Northwest? According to Bella that was unlikely, but the items found were seriously upper class, damn near royalty items. Yeah, Bella was a princess of a distant land. I placed the locket on the nightstand and went back into the bathroom to get ready for bed.
But sleep did not come to me; even though I was exhausted and needed to rest for tomorrow, but my mind would just not shut down. I tend to be like this when a new song forms in my head, but this time there was no music; not even a melody. I thought about taking the other half of the Xanax I took earlier, but knew that would not help me in the morning. After what seemed like hours I started to drift off to sleep when I awoke suddenly.
I turned on the lamp, looked at the locket I left on the night stand again. "Oh fuck," I muttered. Numbly, I walked over to the closet and searched my suitcase for the small bag where I kept my rings I use to cover my finger tattoo. Once I found the bag, I pulled out the ring I usually wore on stage; it was a clunky silver ring with the Cullen crest.
The crown wasn't a motif, it was a family crest.
I grabbed my phone and went into the living room of the suite and placed a call.
"Hey Sexy, miss me?" came through the phone instead of a standard 'Hello'.
I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "Do you ever get tired of flirting?" I asked.
"No, I have to practice for when I meet Jay-Z, so he'll leave Beyonce and runaway with me," Jenks said teasingly.
"Beyonce may be a sweetheart, but she will cut you if you mess with her man."
"Oh please... I can take her," she scoffed. "As much as I love hearing your sexy ass voice I know this is not a shoot the shit kind of call. What's up?"
I went on to fill her in on the situation with Laurent from the moment Bella saw him to what transpired this evening, as well as the man who followed Bella from to the drug store the other evening. "Wait, someone was following her?" Jenks asked flabbergasted.
"Yeah, but she said it was nothing, he just returned her gloves," I said defensively.
"That's not the point, Edward! We're dealing with people who have openly tried to kill her and will take anyone down in the process i.e. your dumbass. Did you at least make Sam aware of this situation?"
"Yes, she now has someone with her at all times." Expect when she met me for lunch; I wasn't about to get my ass handed to me again. "Wait there's something else."
Jenks sighed heavily into the phone. "Okay, what else?"
"The crown on the jewelry box and her locket, it reminds me of a family crest."
Jenks was silent for a few moments. "I was thinking the same thing," she admitted. "Especially since I've been here…..it's obvious this jewelry belongs to someone with Kennedy status." And that was not the Swan family, they were your typical middle class family.
"Is there any way to trace a crest?" I asked not wanting to state the obvious.
"It will be hard; it's not like back in the day when it was a calling card," Jenks disclosed. "I'll look into it but I need to get more info on this Laurent guy. I don't like the fact I'm headed blindly into his backyard."
"Me too, just be careful," I said worriedly.
"I will, I'm actually about to head to the airport to make my stateside flight," Jenks said.
"Night. Have a safe flight," I said and clicked off. Exhausted, I crawled back into bed with Bella and sleep finally claimed me.
oOo
I sat on the floor as I tried to concentrate on my breathing and mentally silence the chaos that surrounded me. But my concentration was broken when I heard Bella mutter, "What the fuck?"
I opened my eyes and found her holding my Starbucks cup, it was obvious she snuck a taste and it was not what she expected. "That's called lemon tea with honey," I replied as I got up from the floor.
A frown marred Bella's beautiful face. "I was not expecting that," she said with disdain. "I thought it was an Americano, where's the coffee?"
Bella looked around the tiny dressing room for a coffee pot. It took all my concentration not to grab her and throw her on the couch and have my way with her. She was wearing a bluish-grey corset with ruffles that gave the illusion of an hourglass shape and jeans that fit her ass like a glove.
I was instantly hard. Down boy, down!
I chuckled at not only her face of disgust, but also my sexual frustrations, which was my own fault. "Sorry I don't drink coffee before a show," I said. "And here I thought you knew all my pre-show habits."
"Well that little tidbit wasn't in the memo Alice handed me," she said dryly.
"It helps soothe my throat. Besides, I felt as though I've been straining my vocal cords so I thought tea & honey would help."
She instantly felt my forehead. "Are you getting sick?"
I shook my head. "Babe, I'm not sick."
A knock on the door interrupted us and Mike stuck his head in the door. "Okay Gaga set is almost cleared and they'll be ready for you in five minutes."
I nodded. "Thanks Mike." I took a final cleansing breathe and put on the green tee shirt my mom sent over with her new logo for her new business venture simply called 'The E Collection'. It went well with the black jeans and I added a black hoodie.
As Bella and I walked to meet up with everyone else, I found Emmett and a very pale Seth in the corner talking. "He's nervous," Emmett explained. This was Seth's first show outside of few Pow Wow's at the reservation.
"It's going to be alright; if it gets to be too much, go in the back with Ace or to Em's side," I advised.
Seth just nodded jerkily and we proceeded to the staging area. In order to shed some of Seth's nervousness while on stage, we decided he would play in my place for most of the songs. I noticed Ace was just as pale as Seth, jittery at the same time; then again, this re-occurrence after a long break was normal before a show. Rose was amp holding her sticks and Jasper was just Jasper; one would think he just woke up and had no energy, but I knew when he hit the stage he was completely different.
We gathered around in a circle and put our hands in the middle. "Dear God, please don't let Emmett split his pants…again," Jasper started in the group prayer. It wasn't a prayer per say, but a way to lighten the mood. "And God, if Edwards starts to cry, make sure his mascara doesn't run; and please, God, please don't let Ace try to crowd surf again….it was hard to find her last time. And Lord, don't let Rose sing 'You Outta Know' because she has PMS and angry at men again. And God, this is serious, please don't let Seth throw up on stage, the cleanup will be gnarly."
We all agreed and murmured Amen. "Let's have a good show everyone!" I said.
"Cullen," Ace, Emmett and I shouted!
Rose and Jasper smirked at each other. "It's all about the Hales bitches," they replied in unison.
Bella and Seth looked at us oddly, but all I could do was shrug; even our parents didn't understand our preshow rituals. "Well that was interesting, but why didn't the others send a 'prayer'?" she asked with air quotes.
"Thanks; because everyone else says something about their sex life and Jasper and I can't handle that."
"And why didn't you chime in?"
"Because he'd only say 'Don't fuck up' and then walk away," Alice chimed in and hurried towards that stage area.
"I better get out there. Have a good show," she said and gave me a kiss.
"Thanks, I'll be the one holding the mic," I said sarcastically to her retreating back.
"Really? Well I'll be the one with the camera," she said over her shoulder.
"Hey," I said. "Just so you know, you're not the only one with a camera out there."
She turned around with her hands on her hips. "Yeah, but I'm the one who's ass you'll be checking out from the stage," she retorted loudly. Of course she was right, my eyes rarely strayed from her ass; and to prove her point, she slapped her ass as she walked to the press pit. Lord, don't let me get a hard on before I hit the stage.
"Damn baby!" I heard a roadie call out even started whistling to get her attention.
"Hey!" I yelled and walked towards him. "That's my girlfriend!"
"Edward, let it go man," Seth said as he tried to pull me back.
"Man, I was just kidding," the roadie said and tried to back away.
"Do it again and I will have your ass thrown out. I don't give a fuck who you work for!"
"Edward, calm down," Mike said suddenly in my face. "I will handle it - you get on stage."
I just nodded at Mike and walked back to the edge of the staging area. I took deep breathes to calm myself down. Despite the stage being practically dark, I was able to see the roadies assist Emmett and Jasper strap on their instruments. Rose sat at her drum set doing last minute arm stretches and Alice seemed dazed, but I knew she was just preparing herself.
I looked over at Seth who looked as though he was going to vomit. "Don't worry Seth I won't let you fuck up, just concentrate on the music. Don't think about anything else."
"Okay, how long does this nervousness last?" he asked anxiously.
I smiled. "I wish I knew….Madison Square Garden has always scared the fuck out of me," I admitted.
"Then why do you keep coming back?" he asked nervously.
"You'll see," I said cryptically. The handlers came back for Seth and placed him across from Ace. The crowd began to go crazy when the curtains rose and Emmett immediately went into 'Forget You'. After a few bars I stepped out onto the stage and all I could think about was the last time I sang this song. It was the day Bella walked back into my life. That ache I felt this time was different; there was no drowning feeling, but the strong sense of regret still plagued me.
Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda.
Overall, it felt great to be in front of an audience. I could feel their energy as we played our popular songs; and much to my surprise, some sang along to one of our B-side songs we rarely play. For once, I was able to see people's faces as they sang along. Some had their eyes glued to me, while others sang with their eyes closed. It was odd to interact with the fans so closely because I normally had a guitar strapped to my chest, but it also gave me time to check on Seth who kept up with Emmett and Jasper beautifully.
The anxiety I felt this last week was gone. I have to admit, my father was right when he said it was a minor case of PTSD. And now that I was back on stage, I knew I had nothing to fear. Like I told Bella – I would take a hit on the head again if it meant she was safe.
I saw Bella from the corner of my eye on occasion. She continuously snapped photos from the press cage up front; there were moments we'd make eye contact and I'd send her a little wink. Last time I performed at the benefit, my only goal was to get Bella to safety; but today she was not only safe, she was mine.
Due to time constraints; onstage banter between Emmett, Jasper and I was cut down, but Emmett was able to entertain the crowd as usual.
"I want to thank everyone who came out tonight. All the funds from tonight's events will go to various charities that desperately need your help," I said as I removed my hoodie. I knew I had sweat stains; but, performing came with a price. "This will be our last song of the evening."
A collective boo was heard throughout the arena. "Before we go, how about a brand new song?" I asked; I could not hide the grin when I heard the collective cheer. Damn I missed this.
My heart raced as it usually did when I presented a new song to an audience, I took the electric guitar from one of the roadies and watched as another brought out a drum and placed it behind me.
While the techs plugged in my guitar and set-up an additional drum into the amps, Emmett and Jasper brought a blushing Seth to the front of the stage. "Not sure if you all noticed our friend in the back with Alice, his name is Seth," Emmett said as he introduced Seth.
"And ladies in case you were wondering, he's eighteen and single," Jasper told the crowd. The whistles and catcalls made Seth turn beet red.
Emmett looked over and signaled that I was ready. We took our positions again. "This next song is for anyone who's ever been bullied or had people think you couldn't handle something," I said into the mic. "This is called Weak."
You think you know me
You think you have me figured out
Don't believe everything you read
Just cause there's a man guarding me
Don't mean I can't take care of me
I'm far from weak
I'm not the man you believe me to be
I'm far from weak
I can handle anything on my own
Cuz I'm far from weak
Like being shot in the head
Actually left for dead
I got up; I will never accept defeat
You tried to push me down
You tried to mentally drown me
But you never got the best of me
I'm far from weak
I'm not the man you believe me to be
I'm far from weak
I can handle anything on my own
Cuz I'm far from weak
Don't read into the magazines
Remember you don't know me
I have a few tricks up my sleeve
You can try to knock me down
You can try to knock me around
Emmett, Seth and I wailed on the guitars. When I wrote the song, I wanted the sound to be loud just looking at the crowd I knew they were enjoying it. As I played my last chord, Seth and Emmett continued on, it was a borderline battle but it blended perfectly. I quickly unstrapped the guitar and positioned myself in front of the drum kit. Just as Emmett and Seth's solo faded, the stage went dark just, before the crowd could react the spotlight shown on Rose for the finale. She pounded on the drums in a hypnotic rhythm, when I felt the spotlight hit my face I started beat that matched Rose. With each beat, I thought of beating the shit out James, each tat-tat was me punching him in the ribs all over again. I looked over at Rose who was biting her bottom lip as she continued to play, she gave me the signal she was ready to end since I obviously lost count. When I dropped the sticks I grabbed the mic in one hand, and stood on the amp in front of me to end the song, in the true anthem fashion.
(Do you hear me) I'll never accept defeat
(Do you hear me) I'll never accept defeat
(Do you hear me) I'll never accept defeat
(Do you hear me) I'll never accept defeat
But just know
Don't under estimate
I'm far from weak
"Thank you and good night."
The stage went black; as childish as it was, this was my fuck you to James song. I felt as though I purged myself and the weight had been lifted. The Ramsey's may have caused a road block in my life, but I'll be damned if I let them ever think they got the best of me or Bella.
Like Laurant said - she's free.
A/N:
Okay so...what do you think?
Please leave a review!
I'm on twitter: bbwraven
Translation:
Edward: Touch her and I will fuck you up so badly your own mother won't be able to identify your body
Laurant: Gérard! Léon ! Stand down! She is no threat!