Chapter 26

Albert pulled back the heavy curtains and let the faint blue morning light diffuse into the room. He took a moment to admire the view outside. The garden was wrapped in a soft mist, the grass and trees coated with icy crystals, bound in the frosty thraldom of winter.

He could just about discern a couple of evening stars fading away. The front path was still illuminated – though he expected the house staff to go out with their candle snuffers any minute soon.

"In yonder cottage shines a light, far-gleaming like a gem" he thought to himself cheerfully as he took in the still, peaceful landscape in front of him. For a tiny second a hint of sadness clouded his thoughts. This is the last year we'll spend Christmas at Lakewood for a while...

He heard the door open and turned around. It was George, carrying a bunch of folders. Albert walked towards him and took some off his hands, to help him out.

"I wasn't expecting you so early, I was hoping to have a look at some figures first before our meeting."

"I thought you'd probably be up early, Albert, and I want us to go through this report" he separated out a thick file "a bit more carefully. I have some concerns I'd like to share with you but we shouldn't of course spend the whole day working."

Albert brushed back his rich mane with his hand and chuckled "no, indeed not, or my darling wife will have something to say about that, no doubt. There is heaps to prepare for Christmas, as usual, the tree to decorate, finish off wrapping presents, make sure we're ready for our visitors... you know how it is!"

George smiled too, though for once Albert's festive enthusiasm didn't quite succeed in cheering him up. He wasn't sure if it was intuition but he was seriously concerned about some of their financial dealings in the stock market recently. But he knew that Christmas was hardly the time for such a serious discussion so he tried to keep his worries to himself. Somewhere in the background of his troubled mind, Albert's voice continued.

"It is Anthony's last Christmas as an only child too. This time next year he will have a little brother or sister to help him open up the presents." He mused over the mental picture of his two small children running happily around the large halls of the mansion.

"Yes... that will be great... I am very excited there will soon be a new addition to the family. Mmm..." he continued absentmindedly.

He turned to the pile of papers in front of him and sighed.

"Go on then, let's see if we can get through this lot in a couple of hours? All I can think about at the moment is holy and mistletoe, punch and mince-pies..."

(***)

"Mummy, mummy, where are you?" a little blond whirlwind entered the room bursting with excitement. Candy smiled and before she could say anything, her son started again, "mummy, listen to this!" he placed the violin on his shoulder and began to play a simple, melodic tune.

"What do you think mum? I learned this right now, do you like it?" he jumped on Candy's lap and she wrapped her arms around him.

"Did I like it? My, I loved it! Well done Anthony, I am amazed you are improving so fast. Your father will be very impressed, I am sure of that. And maybe you can play it for Great Aunt Elroy next time we call? But now, I suggest you go and get ready for dinner and then I will come to your bed and we will read together, OK?"

(***)

Candy looked at the handwritten pages in front of her. She had been writing for more than an hour without realising the time. She got up and stretched then went quickly to check with the children's nanny that all was OK; yes, they were both fast asleep. Candy lingered in little Elroy's room a bit longer; she couldn't stop looking at her, she was so perfect, so sweet, so like Albert... Candy looked forward to his return this evening. He had a long business meeting he had to chair today and Candy was now getting restless longing for him to come home again. She missed him, wanted to see him and talk to him. The news from America was... oh anyway, things were the way they were and she would simply have to get on with it...

She read Annie's letter one more time then paused over her reply to gather her thoughts.

Dear Annie,

Thank you so much for writing and for informing us about Miss Pony. My heart goes out to all of you there, I am so sorry I couldn't be there to help out during her illness. I was relieved to read she is a bit better now and pray she continues to have a speedy recovery. Has Dr. Martin managed to go up to Pony's Hill recently? He is an excellent doctor and I know Miss Pony trusts him. Please, give her and Sister Mary our love and warmest wishes and I will write to her separately in the next few days.

Life in London is becoming easier at last, after the numerous troubles we had to deal with earlier on this year, the biggest blow of course being the fire at the Stables, the sale of the house... am I the only one who still believes Elisa had something to do with it... yes, of course I sympathise with her plight – it was absolutely terrible what her fiancé did to her; not showing up at the wedding and embarrassing her like this in front of all her guests. And yes again, I am the first to admit we've had our differences over the years but it was heart-wrenching to see the drama unfold... everyone was in a state of shock... I think Great Aunt Elroy took it worse than most, being so proud and particular about her standing in society...

Nevertheless, I am deeply grateful she was there with me when the baby came earlier than expected. I know I wouldn't have managed on my own. Everything happened so quickly, Albert rushing out yelling orders, George and Archie joining the other men frantically trying to put out the fire and stop it from spreading to the rest of the house, Elisa, hysterical on her horse, galloping into the forest on her own, you, running after her trying to calm her down... thick black smoke billowing from every direction... the panic, the commotion...

Looking back at the chaos surrounding us at the time, it is no wonder the baby decided to come early. I was in quite a state myself worrying sick that something bad may happen to any of you... so to this day we are both very grateful to Aunt Elroy for keeping calm under all the stress and organising help for the baby to be delivered safely. I will never forget her face when she held little Elroy for the first time. We had hoped to name the baby Rosemary had it been a girl, but somehow it felt immediately appropriate to call her Elroy... I know she was very pleased about it. At last the ice has thawed between us (well, there is always hoping!) after all these years...

I am sorry things have deteriorated for her further though I confess we were not totally surprised when she got a stroke, she has really been through a lot – Albert calls back home twice a week to enquire about her progress and it seems she is getting stronger and more able to enjoy things day after day, which is very encouraging. I guess you know more about it now, as you are at least there and able to visit. Please, do make sure you pass on our regards from all of us here. I plan to write to her again soon, I am sure she misses the children. Anthony has always been very fond of his granny as he calls her and doesn't quite understand why she couldn't move to London with us. We didn't want to elaborate too much on her illness... you know how it is when they start asking questions...

I sometimes find it hard myself to comprehend the speed with which everything changed. The fire damaged the mansion so extensively, it made it too expensive to repair... so many paintings ruined, personal items all but burned down, the gleaming balustrade to the upper floors completely destroyed. When we found out that the insurance company had gone bust and what with the tough impact on the Ardlay organisation from the market crash as whole, there was really no choice left other than to sell Lakewood. I can't describe to you just how difficult the decision was for Albert. I still see him in my mind's eye pacing in his study in Chicago; back and forth, back and forth, his face hard, stern, his emotions indiscernible. He had endless meetings with George trying to figure out the best way to manage the crisis. Seems George had been expressing some concerns for a while as to the state of the Company's finances... but who could have guessed that things would turn so badly for the country's economy... and even further afield I guess.

It pained me deeply to see Albert so upset, so unlike his usual cheerful, carefree self, but the financial collapse affected almost everyone to some extent, and of course he is not a man to shy away from his responsibilities. I am very proud of how he handled things and still he somehow managed to be present for us and give us as much as support as he could.

I am not sure I regret losing the house, though it is a place so full of memories... the important thing is that no one was seriously injured during the disaster. I still shudder at the thought of how much worse things could have turned out! Albert thinks that we may be able to buy Lakewood back in the future and re-build parts of the property. It would be great of course... yet, for me the toughest thing was the urgency with which we had to relocate. Definitely not according to our original plan, certainly not ideal. We didn't even get to say a proper goodbye the way you too had to rush to Tulsa to try and sort out the mess that Neal left at our local branch there...

If it hadn't been for the wonderful last Christmas we all spent at Pony's together, when Tom and Patty announced they were hoping to take over the running of the orphanage... I don't know... it would have been terribly difficult for me to move on and adjust here. But hey, no time for sorrows, you are soon coming over to visit us and I am so looking forward to that! To see you, Archie and my lovely nephew again, I can't tell you just how much I have missed Stear! Anthony now asks me every single day exactly when you will be joining us, I cannot contain his excitement, I am telling you!

I haven't told you yet, but Albert gave Anthony his old violin from when he was a boy. It was a present from his father, William Senior. Unsurprisingly, since then we haven't had a moment's peace in this house. He has taken to it like a duck to water and he has been having weekly lessons with a rather too serious Mr Sturmwald. He doesn't seem to mind the demands for strict discipline (only with his teacher I can assure you, it is a rather different story with me and Albert – believe me, he has us both wrapped around his little finger!)

He absolutely adores his little sister by the way. She has now started to be more active and responsive to what is happening around her and we are so happy we can spend more time together as a family and get to enjoy our precious time together.

Today is a typical, overcast day here. The temperature is rather pleasant, though. The garden is beginning to look its best at last. The English are sure very fond of their gardens and the view towards the terrace here is simply spectacular, I know you will love it! We have now started to go out more, taking leisurely strolls in the park all together and exploring cosy little cafes and restaurants. It is different from America, but charming nonetheless. My previous memories of London are mostly of our days at school and our adventurous escapades with Stear, Patty, Archie and Terry of course. I am sure we will have a fantastic trip to Scotland when you get here, I can't wait to visit the old places together. So many memories there too...

Today I read in the newspaper about Susanna... the funeral was three days ago it seems. We knew it was going to happen at some stage but there is a profound sadness tormenting my heart. Albert immediately sent Terry a telegram with condolences... I am not sure what can one say in these cases that can make a difference, I mean what do you say when someone dies so young. The news really upset me deeply. I still remember the sense of total loss when Anthony died... and then Stear... How must Terry feel, I wonder. He gave up so much to be able to be close to Susanna and offer her a happy life. I am sure she appreciated that and cherished their moments together. So to read about her death was extremely painful. It's strange in some ways, vivid memories of Anthony's accident have filled my dreams lately. As if it all happened just the other day. And roses, I dream of rose gardens in full bloom and every time I lean down to cut a white rose, the garden disappears and only a barren burned down landscape appears in its place. Albert says I have been crying in my sleep. Oh, I don't know Annie, the mind is a complicated thing, isn't it.

I spent some time looking through my wooden box filled with mementos today. Don't ask me why, sometimes I think I seek answers to life's troubles through looking to my past, to try and make sense of what is happening. I looked through photographs, letters, my Ardlay insignia, Terry's handkerchief... yes, I have been tearful most of the day, you guessed right. I think I miss you and Patty very much and loneliness makes me all emotional. So, please, make time pass quickly till you are here!

Annie, my friend, I have to go now and Albert should be home soon too. Thank you again for writing and letting me know the latest news, it means the world to me to feel you all close. Please, give our most heartfelt regards to everyone there, especially Miss Pony and Sister Mary and I look forward to seeing you in person in just a few weeks!

With love from all the family,

Candy

She placed the sheets inside an envelope and sealed the letter. She would get it posted first thing tomorrow.

Though not deliberately deceitful, she didn't tell Annie all the details of how she had spent most of the day reading through her old diary. She shed many tears reading the letters she had exchanged with her friends and of course Albert over the years. And those other letters... those that could never be sent... to Terry, to Stear... to Anthony...

Candy poured herself a sherry and sat in her favourite, cosy armchair, the only light in the room the dying embers in the fireplace. Sad and lost in her thoughts, she let out a faint sigh in the darkness and stared blankly into the fire.

Moments later there was a click and the lights came on.

"You are sitting in the dark. Is everything OK sweetheart? Candy?"

She turned towards Albert and smiled. Oh Albert... the gentle voice that never fails to fill me with happiness and excitement... my wonderful husband, looking at me smiling at the door - the smile that I love so much. How come I didn't hear his car!

With a voice choking with relief and joy, Candy got up from the chair and ran towards him.

"Welcome back home! "

Albert wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. He had been expecting she might be upset after the latest news from America.

"Candy... have you been crying, what is the matter dear?"

"I opened this – she showed Albert her jewel-encrusted box – when I was in the study today" she replied. "I was looking for some photos to send to Annie, when I came across these letters... all the letters I sent you and our friends while I was at the orphanage after the break-up with Terry... I had almost forgotten about them... especially after moving here and with all that's happen since that time... so it was a bit of a shock to revisit them today. I started to read them again while waiting for you tonight... and I just got a bit emotional..."

Albert listened in respectful silence, then led them both back to the armchair and got her to sit on his lap. He kissed her tenderly and pulled her close to him.

"When I gave you my mother's box Candy, I had a feeling you would use it to store your special treasures. It honours me to know that you consider our letters so precious. You know, I was hoping to read them together again when we would be really old, children all grown up and grand-children running around in our front yard. So that despite our aching limbs and wrinkled faces, we would always have a special way to remember the story of how our love blossomed with time, how many struggles we had to get through before we could find true happiness with each other..."

Her emerald eyes glistened with fresh tears and she clung onto him more tightly.

Our love story. Our, We… Was there any sweeter or more emotive word in the English language, especially when it encapsulated the two of them in a small private circle of intimacy, when it seemed to bond him to her for a lifetime of sharing, of caring for each other, of deepening the passion, the respect and affection that brought them together in the first place…

"What do you say? Shall we go to bed and we can read them together?" he suggested and lifted her in his arms.

And then… he was smiling at her so warmly, his tiredness long-forgotten, that her body seemed to respond of its own accord to that warmth, a gentle tingling beginning at the base of her spine and spreading throughout her limbs. When their lips parted, she was too breathless to speak. She just whispered.

"Thank you Albert. For this and everything. Please, know that no matter what happens, I will always, always love you."

(***)

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

As many of you will know, in the last few months, Mizuki published in Japanese a more extended version of her original story with some new material. While it has been my intention to stay as true to her story as possible, the new text may make that more difficult. It takes time to consolidate the story and the implications of the additional information and I don't think it would be feasible for me to do this now. Perhaps I will re-work this fic some day to try and achieve a greater degree of fidelity but this won't happen for some time.

In addition, the new text is not available in English, at least not yet. However, as I have perhaps mentioned previously, I have been extremely fortunate to have met a Japanese lady through this forum who has been a fan of my fic (for which I am both humbled and grateful); of her own accord, she undertook the difficult task of translating parts of the new book into English for me. English is not her first language – and though it may have been tempting for me to change the wording to "improve" the grammatical flow, I felt I would be discrediting her efforts to provide me with a translation that is as close to the Japanese meaning as feasible – so I am giving this to you now through this story exactly as I received it.

Although she deserves immense credit (it took many months of painstaking work to put this together), she has chosen to remain anonymous. Her only reward is the knowledge that many fans are happy and keen to learn more about this new book. I regret I wasn't able to publish this earlier (the fault is all mine for dilly-dallying with progressing this fic) but I hope that even now it can still be interesting reading material.

I admit that despite the frustration in Mizuki not providing a conclusive ending as to who that famous "HE" is in Candy's life, it would be unfair to not appreciate the lyrical and melancholy style of her writing. I personally found myself very moved by these letters. Her Candy seems more naive and childlike than mine, but her heart is pure and always forgiving, her zest for life and for appreciating the day-to-day small pleasures, rare and refreshing.

My idea for incorporating these letters into my fic came from imagining a scene with Candy and Albert sitting next to each to each other on their sofa or in bed, taking turns to read these letters to each other aloud, laughing at past jokes and mishaps, crying about old losses and sad events, reminiscing about their life apart and their life together (through the invisible threads that have always connected them as Mizuki writes) and forging a stronger loving bond together as husband and wife.

I initially included this text at the end of this chapter but I think it makes the document too long, so I decided to publish the letters as a stand-alone in the next chapter (chapter 27).

Thank you for your time and loyalty in reading Amor Aeternus. I do read your reviews even if I don't always reply and they are the greatest motivation for me to keep going.

Geobacter

September 2011