I know you're probably not going to believe me when I tell you this, but it's the truth. I think that Itachi (stoic, sadistic, evil little Itachi) might have developed a crush on me at that point. Now I know the idea sounds insane, but hear me out!

For about a week after Itachi "asked" me to play with his hair and let him sleep in my lap, the guy completely and totally avoided me. I thought at first that maybe I'd messed up again, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out what had gone wrong that night to upset Itachi like this. And then, things changed.

For starters, he began asking to train with me all the time. I can't think of one instance in the following three month period where I trained outside our base without Itachi. He was really into it too; if I didn't know better, I'd think he was actually trying to kill me. But no, I knew that Itachi was just trying to prove himself a worthy opponent against a swordsman like myself.

A while after we started training all the time, he started cooking. That's right, the infamous Itachi Uchiha, mass murderer and criminal extraordinaire was baking muffins in the kitchen of Akatsuki headquarters. The first time I caught him wearing oven mitts and pulling brownies out of the oven, I almost fainted from the shock.

As if this weren't shocking enough, a few weeks after he began his new cooking hobby, he actually made a tuna casserole for me! How girly crush can you get?

Problem was, I never got to enjoy Itachi's cooking. Zetsu (who happened to be in the kitchen preparing his own meal while Itachi and I ate) snatched up the plate my partner had offered me and ate all of it on his own. Before Itachi could even fetch another dish and offer me a new piece, Zetsu started convulsing and foaming at the mouth.

Pein, of course, looked into this, and determined that our plant friend had had an extreme allergic reaction to some tainted fish. Tobi was left to care for him (poor soul) and Itachi had to throw out all of his hard work. You could see the anger in his eyes when he was forced to dump the food into the garbage.

At nights we were closer than ever. Itachi was practically joined at my hip now, and required constant affection whenever I was on guard duty. Sometimes he wanted his hair played with, sometimes he wanted gentle caresses. There were even a few occasions where he wanted a backrub. As long as he was sleeping with his head in my lap, we were fine. He didn't make any move to rest completely in my lap, and I wasn't going to risk angering him again.

As all these things were happening, I slowly started to realize that I'd developed an attachment to the little weasel. Mind you, I was fully aware that this attachment wasn't a crush or anything like that. I just liked to be around Itachi, know that he was ok, relax him while he snuggled into my leg, fret about him when he wasn't around, and stuff like that. See? It's completely different from a crush.

But if you still don't believe me, then listen to this.

One night, we were in our room at the Akatsuki base, getting ready for bed. I'd just gotten dressed after taking a quick shower, and my partner was stretched out on our bed, clad only in a pair of capris and clearly waiting for me to finish up so that the two of us could turn in the for the night. As I was toweling off my hair for the last time, I decided we needed to figure out that night's shift. "Ita-"

"Kisame." I clammed up as soon as he spoke. Word to the wise; let Itachi say what he has to say before you dare open your mouth to speak again. You're less likely to get maimed.

He didn't say anything after that; just stared at me for a couple of seconds. I began to shift from side to side while waiting for my partner to continue. I wanted to speak, but if I interrupted Itachi there would be hell to pay.

After a few more seconds, he slowly rose from his reclining position and climbed off the bed, his eyes never once looking away from me. The weasel then crossed the room at a painstakingly slow pace, and stopped in front of me. Still he hadn't spoken again, and I wasn't about to break the silence.

Once in front of me, Itachi just kinda stared up at me for a little bit with this nervous look in his eyes. You can never tell how he's feeling just by looking at Itachi's face; if you wanna know what kind of emotion the weasel's experiencing, you have to look into those onyx eyes.

While I was contemplating this, Itachi moved closer to me. Before I could think of a way to safely suggest that Itachi give me a few more inches of space, he stood up on his toes and kissed me on the lips.

Itachi kissed me. Itachi Uchiha had kissed me, Kisame Hoshigaki, his long-time partner in crime. No matter how many times I repeated the words in my head, they didn't make any sense.

It was like a law of the universe had been broken or something. I half-expected one of the other members to come rushing into our room and scream that Armageddon was here, it's been a nice ride, so long. This couldn't have been right! Maybe Itachi was sick or something?

As we were lip-locked and my brain was trying not to shut down, he put his arms around me, his dainty little hands resting on the sides of my neck. And while my mind may have been out of commission, my body knew full well what to do. So with relatively little hesitation, I kissed back and ran my fingers down his exposed spine.

When I first felt him move, I thought that he was shivering because of the cold. And then I realized that he was shuddering from my touch. I had made him do that.

I'd be lying if I told you that I didn't get a rush from that.

Before I could savor the moment any longer, though, Itachi slipped out from within my arms and bolted from the room, slamming the door shut behind him. Leaving a very confused me in his wake. So, exactly what did I do to make him vanish?

I don't think my breath was that bad...ok, maybe it was a little gross. But not bad enough to make him run off! Was I supposed to have just stood there like a statue while he kissed me?! I'm pretty sure that would have resulted in maiming. So, what had gone wrong?

Then, an idea hit me. Perhaps Itachi had chickened out after smooching me. It would make sense; he's not the type to show emotions, and kissing me (which almost certainly meant he had feelings for me) definitely counted as openly displaying affection. He'd probably never even tried something like this back in Konoha, which added to the likelihood of him having gotten nervous and fled like that. It was really starting to look like Itachi had a crush on me, and freaked out after exposing it for me to see.

Well, there was only one thing left for me to do. I had to go out and find my partner.