Title: Moving On

Author: Raven Shadowrose

Rating: M

Pairing:?/?

Summary: Dixie has been left broken hearted by Cyd's departure from the Holby team, what happens when Cyd is replaced by Hannah Darbyshire and Dixie takes a liking to her. Will she end up with even more of a broken heart or will she find the happiness that she has been searching for?

Disclaimer: I do not know or own any of the characters from Casualty, all original characters and the story are my property and I do not give permission for anyone else to use this story.

Author's Note: This story will contain will contain some femslash, if you do not wish to read it then by all means back away slowly the way you came, other than that enjoy the story and reviews are appreciated :)

Thank you to chan. nelson444 and beethovenRIP for your comments, I really hope you enjoy this chapter. Beware of the squishies :)

Chapter Thirty-One.

Polly wrapped her hands around the cup of tea that Jeff had made for her, she really liked living here with him. She'd once said to Hannah that she liked her own space but for some reason sharing that space with Jeff felt right. She was grateful to him for giving her the chance to escape from her house and the burden of paying all the bills. Everything had been worked out equally and she wasn't worrying about how she was going to make it to the end of the month and her next pay day now.

She looked over at Jeff who was lying on the sofa and absent-mindedly stroking Little Abs' head. 'Dixie asked me how I was doing today.'

'What did you tell her?'

'That I'm doing all right now that she's at Hannah's.'

'Is that true?'

'Sort of, it doesn't feel as bad as I thought that it would do.'

'It's still a little bit of a lie though, isn't it?'

'A little bit, yes. I had to lie, Dixie always feels guilty about things that she shouldn't do. If I had told her the truth then the she would be worrying about me.'

'True, she would. How do you feel about Cyd now?'

'I don't know, Dixie has forgiven her and she stopped me from getting trapped under a falling ceiling. It's complicated, it doesn't change what she did to Dixie.'

'Maybe you should just let it go.'

'Yeah, maybe I should.' Polly thought about what Jeff had just said, Cyd wasn't that bad really, perhaps drawing a line under everything was the best way to go.

Jeff knew that he had lied to Dixie, he also knew that she probably had guessed he was lying. Dixie had the ability to tell when people were lying, especially him, he knew that he was right to lie to her. Hannah was a lovely woman and she made Dixie happy. 'How are you Polly?'

'I'm all right, mostly.'

'Mostly?'

'I was thinking about Carys, that poor girl, she didn't deserve what happened to her.'

'You did your best for her Polly, that's all you could do.'

'I know, I wish there was something more that I could have done.'

'We can't save the world Polly, all we can do is try our best.'

'Yeah, you're right.' Jeff hoped that he was helping Polly to feel better, she'd done her best for Carys and nobody could expect more of her.

'The only person at fault is the person that raped Carys.'

'I know, thanks Jeff.'

'Don't blame yourself Polly.'

'I'll try not to.'

'Good.'

'I think I might go to bed, is that all right?'

'Of course it is, you've had a rough day, get some sleep and it will make you feel better.'

'I hope so.'

'Come here Pol.' Jeff stood up and hugged Polly, he loved her like a daughter and he didn't want her to blame herself for something that was beyond her control. 'Goodnight Jeff.'

'Goodnight Polly, if you need anything then you know where I am.'

'I know, thank you.' Jeff let Polly go upstairs, he hoped if she needed anything then she would let him know.

Dixie was sat on the sofa with Hannah, she had Hannah's head in her lap and was stroking her hair. 'I used to dream of this when I realised I was falling in love with you Hannah.'

'Really?'

'Yeah, there were times when I imagined that you were with me.'

'What did you make happen?'

'I would imagine you coming into my room, you would get into my bed and cuddle up to me. I used to imagine you telling me that you loved me. There were times I felt like such a foolish, old woman after thinking it.'

'You're not old or foolish Dixie. You just wanted someone to love you and felt lonely, am I right?'

'As dear as my friends are to me, I needed more than they could give me.'

'You needed love, that's nothing to be ashamed of Dixie. There are plenty of people in the world that have imagined someone with them and holding them as they fall asleep. We do what we need to so we can get through the day and especially the night. You don't need to imagine now, you can hold me for real.'

'The reality is much better than my imaginings.'

'What else did you dream of?'

'Do you remember the outfit you wore at Halloween?'

'The corset and skirt when I was dressed as a vampire?'

'Yeah, my dreams were filled with you wearing that outfit for quite some time.'

'I am guessing that those dreams weren't about cuddling.'

'They weren't. I used to wake up in quite the state and wanting you.' Dixie saw the blush colour Hannah's cheeks.

'Did you think of me?'

'I did, I had to, anything to release the ache I was feeling. I used to pretend that the fingers I had inside me were yours. I felt really bad the first time that I thought of you like that.'

'Why?'

'Honestly, I don't know, thinking of you like that just made me feel very guilty.'

'It wasn't the last time though, was it?'

'No, do you mind that I thought of you in that way?'

'Not at all, I am quite flattered.' Dixie was relieved that Hannah wasn't disgusted or put off by what she had just found out.

Hannah was quite flattered that Dixie had been thinking about her, it meant that she found her attractive. She was sad that Dixie had imagined herself being told she was loved and being cuddled as a way to erase her lonely feelings but she vowed that Dixie wouldn't feel that way ever again. Hannah was brought back into the present by Dixie talking to her. 'I seem to remember you promising me a shower Miss Darbyshire.'

'Yes, I did.'

'I'm collecting on the promise, come on beautiful.' Hannah stood up and followed Dixie upstairs and into the bathroom, she wondered where the shower would lead them.

Hannah took two towels out of the cupboard and hung them over the radiator, along with their pyjamas for the night. She was quite taken with the idea of sharing a shower with Dixie, Hannah turned to face Dixie and she felt Dixie's arms move around her waist. She closed her eyes when she felt Dixie's lips on hers. Hannah placed her arms around Dixie's neck as the kiss got more intense. She opened her mouth and let Dixie's tongue slip into her mouth, she loved it when Dixie kissed her like this. Dixie's hands moved to the bottom of Hannah's t-shirt and she whispered in her ear. 'Lift your arms up.' Hannah did as she was asked and closed her eyes as her t-shirt was lifted over her head. Hannah found that Dixie made short work of her bra, she felt Dixie kiss her shoulder and then she felt Dixie's hand lightly caress her skin as she walked around to the front.

The sight of Hannah's body always sent feelings of desire through Dixie, she wanted to feel Hannah's skin against her own so she started to undo the buttons on her shirt until Hannah's hands stopped her. 'Let me do that.'

'Go on then beautiful.' Dixie willingly let Hannah undress her upper half and then she held Hannah in her arms. She tilted Hannah's head upwards and kissed her, Dixie slipped her tongue inside Hannah's mouth and fiddled with the button on Hannah's jeans. Dixie stopped the kiss and stripped Hannah of the rest of her clothing, she stood still as Hannah returned the favour and let her eyes drift over Hannah's naked body. 'You're so beautiful Hannah, come on gorgeous.' Dixie turned the shower on and ran her hand under it, she wanted to make sure that it was warm enough. Once she was certain that the water had heated up she took Hannah's hand and stepped into the shower, she closed the door behind them and turned her attention to Hannah.

Hannah felt the hot water running over her skin, it felt wonderful. She felt Dixie's arms close around her waist and their wet skin touched. 'Kiss me Hannah.' Hannah smiled and let her lips touch against Dixie's, she felt Dixie's hands move and run up and down her arms. 'Open your eyes beautiful.' Hannah barely registered Dixie's voice, she opened her eyes and saw Dixie holding the bottle of shower gel. 'Can I touch you?'

'Yes, please do.' Hannah watched Dixie squeeze some of the shower gel onto the scrunchie she kept in the shower.

'Turn around Hannah.' Hannah faced away from Dixie and she felt the scrunchie moving over her back and arms, then up her belly and over her chest. The water washed away the soap and Dixie moved lower, her hands gently gliding over Hannah's legs. Hannah felt so loved and cared for as Dixie gently washed her body. 'I think it is my turn now Dixie.' Hannah poured some of the shower gel into her hand and gently rubbed it over Dixie's body, she saw Dixie close her eyes and sigh quietly. Hannah covered Dixie's body in the soap from the shower gel, she gently stroked Dixie's skin and watched the water wash all of the soap away.

Dixie held Hannah close to her as the water cascaded over them both, it felt lovely to be this close to the woman that she loved. 'I love you Hannah.'

'I love you too Dixie.' Dixie picked up the bottle of shampoo and washed Hannah's hair for her, she liked taking care of her like this. Hannah had been on a difficult shout today and she wanted to help her relax and unwind after the stresses of the day. 'You have the most amazing hair Hannah, it is so long and beautiful.'

'Thank you Dixie.' Dixie smiled, Hannah was definitely beginning to relax.

'Come on lovely, let's get out and get you dried off.'

'But what about your hair?'

'We can do mine in the morning, you need to sleep Hannah.'

'Okay, I'll hold you to that.' Dixie turned the shower off and helped Hannah get out, she wrapped a towel around Hannah and then herself. Dixie gently dried Hannah's skin for her and then she let Hannah do the same to her.

Once Hannah had got into her pyjamas she wrapped the towel around her head to contain her wet hair. She sat on the bed and took the towel off, starting to dry her hair. 'Hannah, how are you feeling?'

'I'm feeling very nice and relaxed, thank you for this evening.'

'You deserve it, you've had a difficult day. Now, I want you to relax and let me dry your hair.' Hannah gave Dixie the towel and closed her eyes as Dixie gently dried her hair with the towel, she was happy, being with Dixie like this made her happy. She liked that they could make love on some evenings and just take care of each other, like they had tonight, on the others. Dixie's gentle movements with the towel were making her feel sleepy. 'I am lucky to have you Dixie, you're the most loving woman I've ever met.'

'I'm lucky to have you too, my beautiful Hannah.'

'Come on Dixie, come to bed with me, let me make your imaginings a reality.'

'I'd like that.' Hannah pulled back the covers of the bed and let Dixie get in, she went over to the light and switched it off, leaving only her bedside lamp on. She crawled into the bed and cuddled up to Dixie. 'I love you.'

'I love you too beautiful.' Hannah snuggled into Dixie's arms, she loved being here with her like this, she closed her eyes and rested her head against Dixie's chest.

Dixie stroked Hannah's still damp hair, the younger woman was almost asleep. Dixie loved that Hannah had made what she used to imagine come true. It made her smile and made her love Hannah even more. She was just watching Hannah fall asleep, she would never get tired of watching her as she drifted into sleep. Dixie reached over and switched off the lamp, she kissed Hannah on the head and wrapped her arms closely around Hannah's body. 'Goodnight, my sweetheart.'

'Goodnight, my sweet Dixie.' The sleepiness in Hannah's voice almost made Dixie's heart melt, she rested her head back in the pillows, everything was good in her life now. Christmas would be here soon, she was looking forward to buying Hannah some lovely gifts and spoiling her rotten. She hoped that she would be able to get the day itself off so she could spend it with Hannah. Dixie closed her eyes and let Hannah's quiet breathing lull her to sleep.