Chapter 5 – Wetting the Floor

Kirk was waiting in the transporter room in his best uniform, trying to look welcoming, confident and assuring. He could have used some reassuring himself. Spock had been criticising him for his decision to let Lily-Lee be present when the Klingon emissary arrived. Not openly criticising, but with a very notable silence when Kirk had told her to put on something nice and stand there and look as official as possible. But Kirk had a reason. They had not been expecting the Klingons to approach them in this zone, and not in this manner. They claimed they wanted to send an emissary along with the starship Enterprise as she returned to base, to take part in peace negotiations. They were willing to send one single unarmed officer aboard. If this was a sincere peace proposal, Kirk wanted to make this vulnerable emissary feel more comfortable, and he thought it could help to show that not everyone on board was human, or even a member of Starfleet. Lily-Lee would be introduced as the emissary from Vovaror Paplolanone... Poplolanon... he would have to check that before things started.

"Lily-Lee, what was the name of your home planet again?"

"What, this month? I don't know, does it matter? Just make something up, that's what I do." Kirk could feel Spock's silence increase, but it was hard to tell how that was possible.

A small Klingon ship was approaching, at slow speed and with shields down. It looked harmless like a chick, a baby bird of prey. One Klingon was beamed aboard, and turned out to be an old and grey one-legged former general. He was scanned for weapons and found clean, and he stepped down from the transporter platform with a feeble gait. Kirk approached him with his hand outstretched.

"Welcome to the starship Enterprise, I am captain James T. Kirk. Allow me to introduce Mr Spock, my science officer, Dr McCoy from..." The Klingon interrupted him in mid-sentence.

"Your pet is not house-broken." Pet? Kirk was startled. If the Klingon began his visit with insulting people, they were off to a bad start. He had to save the situation without hurting anyone's feelings, so he turned towards Lily-Lee with the intention of introducing her. He became speechless. Lily-Lee looked like she had seen death. She was pale, shaking and staring, and she was wetting herself. There was a puddle on the floor around her bare feet. This was a diplomatic crisis if Kirk had even seen one. Spock had been right; she was not ready to be introduced to other alien races. Maybe Klingons smelled really hostile or something? Kirk wondered if he should comply with the Klingon and say that she was a pet, and send her to her quarters.

"HE IS ATTACKING!" Lily-Lee's voice was shrill and loud. "HE IS ATTACKING, DO SOMETHING!"

"Now don't worry and calm down, okay? This is the Klingon emissary and perhaps I'll introduce you later, that's probably best. General, I hope you don't think that..."

"HE'S GOING TO ATTACK! DON'T JUST STAND THERE!" she started to run but the door was closed and in her panic, she ran two times around the room before diving under a desk, leaving wet footprints all the way. Everyone else in the room was standing still and looking embarrassed. Kirk turned back to the Klingon again and was going to offer his most eloquent apologies, but then he saw the Klingons face. That was not the face of an insulted man, or an embarrassed man. That was a face that could only have been captioned with the words "Curses! Foiled again!"

Suddenly everyone moved at once. The Klingon was trying to take off his belt and release some sharp object on the inside. Kirk pushed the old general towards the transporter platform and yelled at Scotty to activate. Spock ran up to the wall and told the personnel at the bridge to go to red alert. Four Klingon ships were spotted approaching the Enterprise. The old general was randomly transported out into space where he resulted in a colourful and meaty explosion. Lily-Lee got the door opened and ran away.

After the dust had settled and the Enterprise was safe, Kirk called yeoman Rand.

"Janice, will you find Lily-Lee and help her get cleaned up? Find her some new clothes." As an afterthought, he added "Get her a uniform. She has earned it."

"With a medical department badge!" added McCoy.

"If this creature is going to be a member of the crew and perform chemical analysis, it would be logical that she belonged to the science department."

"Oh, now she's good enough for you, eh? After she's turned out to be something you can use? You cold-blooded... you have had nothing but bad things to say about her from the beginning!"

"I was merely pointing out that chemical analysis is part of the screening and scanning."

"Bones, Spock, stop your... bickering! Have you even noticed that she is nowhere to be found?" Janice had called Kirk to say that she was unable to find her. A scan of the ship soon located Lily-Lee. She had pried open a wall section under a console and crawled in. Furthermore, she refused to come out, pushing further in among the wires when anyone approached. It took half an hour for Kirk to coax her out. She was still panicked and pale.

"How many were eaten?" were her first words.

"None! No one was eaten, come out now."

"How many of the children?"

"We don't have any children here, now come."

"Are there any pieces left to bury?"

"There are no dead." Was this what it was like to be a prey species? Kirk had thought she was frivolous. It was hard to imagine a life where the flock was attacked by predators as a part of life. She was coming out of her hole now, dusty and wet.

"How many were eaten?"

"Not a single one. You saved them." Kirk took her hand.

"I did? No, I ran away. He was loaded with something in his guts. It was sealed in, but the bulk had an effect on him. He was attacking, I could smell it."

"Yes, you could. Now come out and let Janice take care of you."