Dear Sophie,

dear Nicholas,

and dear Anthony,

I am afraid that if you are reading this letter now, I have already done what I wanted to do and my sorry existence is no longer spoiling this Earth.

In this envelope, you will find a detailed medical file which used to belong to me; in there, you will see an irrefutable proof that I would not walk in this world much longer anyway. Cancer, you see.

Call it pride, if you want, but after everything I have done to you, I refuse the notion of you watching me slowly dying. I do not want my children watch me getting sicker every day with no hope for getting better. I refuse to be in pain just so as you could suffer for another day with me, and I detest the idea of screaming things at you while delirious, things I would never say while healthy.

I refuse to not be in control over what little is left to me in this life to have control over.

If you can, forgive me all those things with which I have ever wronged you; but I hesitate to ask you such a thing, for how could you forgive what I cannot forgive myself?

I have made many mistakes in my life. I have done things I am not proud of, things I have rarely spoken about, deeds which took me away from the realm of ´good people´.

The things I consider right are only a few. The greatest one of them being in love with your dad, Gregory. And seizing this opportunity for happiness, and having you.

I could never properly express how proud I am of you, so I will have to hope you know that. When I saw you for the first time, Anthony, I could not believe that something so pure was made also by me. And when Greg told me that we were going to have twins, I had thought that was the greatest thing ever, for there has to be as much people with his large smile and brown eyes walking this Earth as possible.

The sad thing is, I was never the strong one out of the pair of us. Gregory was carrying my weight as well and I never properly thanked him for it; I wasn´t even there when he died. I shall never forgive myself this, and what followed.

For I am not enough for you, my children. When you were looking for strength, I offered feeble resemblance of normality. So eventually you looked elsewhere, and it is all right.

I think that one day you will have a piece of a puzzle that is this universe called after you, have both the ability to find it out and to explain to other a difficult concept, and that is a rare mix. Be happy, be well and do not be alone.

Nicholas, I think you are one of the few journalists having a few braincells and I think you can use media to change the world for better and to allow people to not squash every vision right away as ´naive´. You have the potential to enchant people to see the changes and to try and make them. But do not forget yourself within all these big things.

Sophie, I want to tell you that I loved your wedding and Peter is a charming young man. But I also think that it should have been Greg walking you to the altar and making a funny speech at the feast. I think everyone would be happier like that. Do not let this world destroy your creative potential. You are a brilliant composer and a beautiful human being.

I love you all.

I am sorry

Your ´papa´ Mycroft

Dearest brother, dear John,

I am afraid it fell on your shoulders to find me like this. The reasons are apparent from the file attached to the first letter.

It is unfortunate my organs cannot be used for others to save their lives, as they have been slowly eaten away by cancer and are too old anyway. I think scientific purposes are out too, but if you are of a different opinion, Sherlock, do as you please. I am not very fond of my carcass.

Despite all the blunders in our relationship, I want you to know that I always loved you, little brother. I might not be able to show it properly, or to tend for you in a way you would not consider ´nosy´, but I do. I am sorry - you know for what. I still do not consider my debt to you paid, and now it never will be. Forgive me, if you so please.

But after all, you never needed your old, boring brother. The person who managed to find the goodness in you was John; and for that, I can never express my gratitude. Perhaps there are good man out there to balance all the evil, and we both had the luck to share some years with such people.

Thank you, John, for protecting my brother. I am afraid you will have to do it on your own now, but he is far better house-trained than ever.

Be well. Please try not to delete me from your Memory Palace.

I love you, Sherlock. I admire you, John.

Mycroft

Dear Anna Theodora,

I was right when I said that there is only one person able to take over after me, and that person is you. You are even better than me, although I find the new decor you chose for my old office ghastly.

I know I leave the Great Britain in good hands. And I know that my suicide will be no surprise to you.

In the years before Greg, you were the friend I did not even know about, an I never properly thanked you; I do so now.

Be careful, this country needs both your head and your heart.

When you have the time, I would be obliged to you if you kept an eye on my brother and my children; though I wouldn´t be able to express my gratitude in person.

Do not think too harshly of me, please, I have always been just a silly old fool.

Yours

Mycroft Holmes

Mycroft Holmes was found dead on the day of the first anniversary of his husband´s death. He was slumped in an armchair, lighted only by the dying ambers in the fireplace, and no one was really surprised.

Mycroft Holmes and Gregory Lestrade were buried next to each other.