What? What are you expecting me to say right now? That my partner's death came as a real shock? That when he died beneath my fingertips, I broke down crying? Sorry, but none of that's gonna happen.

I know it seems like most of the time I don't have a damn clue about what's going on, but that's not the case. You don't become an S-rank criminal and stay that way for long if you're not halfway intelligent, and I'm no exception.

I knew for a long time that he was going to let Sasuke kill him. It's not like we sat down and he told me cart blanche that it was his way to die, but he'd mentioned it before. I knew that even if Sasuke didn't get him, my partner was going to die from his disease. The last few months had been hard on his health; You could say I was prepared for the end long before it came, and was actually surprised he mustered up enough strength to fight his brother in the end.

But more importantly than all that, I knew when we split off for the final time (him to battle Sasuke, me to play around with the kid's cronies) I'd be lucky to ever see him alive again. He didn't say goodbye or anything to me as we went our separate ways; that isn't in him. Or it wasn't, I guess I should say…

Naturally, when I found him lying on the ground later on, I wasn't sure whether he was dead or not. I tried calling his name, but surprise surprise, he didn't answer. I actually had to check for his pulse after that, and found (to my shock) he was still alive.

Dozens of emotions raced through me then; surprise, joy, anger (at Sasuke for doing this), things of that nature. The only one I didn't feel then was relief. It didn't take a genius to figure out that even though the weasel was alive right now, that was going to change pretty soon.

I don't know what got into me then, but I started playing with his hair. Maybe it was to relax him, maybe it was because I needed to do something with my hands, it could have been anything. But it made him smile, and that's what counts. Then I went I told him that I was right there.

Stupid. I could have said anything to him, but I went and stated the obvious. I wanted to kick myself for that, but there was no point to it then. The black-haired beauty dying so close had to be my priority.

He told me he was sorry then. Sorry for what? He'd been a sadistic little bastard for years, yeah, but I was used to it. Sorry for accidentally poisoning me, screwing with my mind, punching then crying then pouncing on me? That couldn't be it. So what was left?

I never had the chance to figure it out, because of what happened next. The Uchiha turned his head towards me, his blind eyes somehow managing to lock with mine as he told me that he loved me.

It's like everything froze then. Time, my breathing, the whole world could have stopped then for all I knew. I hadn't seen that one coming. Not by a mile.

I did what I did next because I had to. I leaned in, gave Itachi a kiss and told him that I felt the same way he did.

I wouldn't have done that if it weren't true. The kid was annoying as hell at times, unpredictable in his moods, and far too sadistic to be normal, but I loved him.

I'd gone through many and various partners before him, but the weasel was the only one who I ever felt belonged at my side. Even before we started working like a real team, something about him felt right to me.

He was pretty good company, as long as I didn't do anything to piss him off. I remember hearing the others complain about how loud or aggravating their partners could be, but I don't think I could ever honestly complain about mine like that. He scared the hell out of me sometimes, that was all. Really, I probably had the best partner of any Akatsuki member.

And then during the last few months…life was pretty good, you could say. It wasn't just the sex, or the fact that Itachi opened up to me as a human being. No, it was something else. I honestly felt like we cared about each other.

Maybe that's why this hurts so much. After everything that we've been through, all the crap he's done to me and gotten out of me, he's gone without even a goodbye.

So where the hell does that leave everything? His brat of a brother feels guilty now and has sworn revenge against Konoha, the village my now-former partner was trying to protect. Pretty much everyone in the original Akatsuki is dead, and the ones left alive aren't much good. And now, I'm all alone.

I'm alone for the first time in years, and it's all because my twisted partner turned caring lover had to get royally screwed over by fate and die! For Kami's sake, it's bad enough that we lost both the "artists" and the supposedly immortals, but why'd they have to kill Ita-him.

Tch. This is pathetic. I can't even say his name anymore, and he's been dead for what feels like an eternity.

I miss him. I don't know what else I'm supposed to say, and that sums it up pretty well. Without him here, there's this emptiness around me. I miss having him by my side, I miss hearing his voice (as seldom as I heard it), and I miss waking up to see him curled into my side with a small, content smile on his face.

Like I said earlier, this is pathetic. If he were here now, he'd probably be chewing me out for acting like such an idiot over his death. Shinobi aren't supposed to show any emotions, regardless of the situation. Besides, I see death all the time, so losing him shouldn't affect me all that much. It shouldn't eat away at me like how his disease tore him to pieces, and sure as hell shouldn't hurt this much.

Damnit, now I'm crying! Fuck, how did things end up like this?!...I guess it doesn't matter now.

I don't know what I'm going to do. If I try to kill myself or purposely get killed on the battlefield, my partner will probably kick my ass for it as soon as I get to the afterlife. In fact, he'll definitely beat the living daylights out of me. So that just leaves living.

That's what I'll do, then. Keep on fighting under the Akatsuki colors, since that's more than likely what he wants from me. Heh, I've always followed his orders up until this point, so why refute them now just because he's dead?

And besides, even deceased, Itachi still scares the crap out of me.