Entry #4: SHIELD

"And the class has just arrived." Tony Stark swaggered into the office and sat down in the first chair in the row, tilting it back and putting his feet on the table. Dr. Banner walked in behind him and pulled out a chair as well, seating himself like a civilized person.

Steve looked up from his paper-work and nodded to Tony, who returned the greeting with a scowl. "What are you doing here, Rodgers?"

"My duty to cause and country," snapped the captain, already offended.

"Alright. Calm down, the both of you," ordered Director Fury, who was sitting across from the Avengers. He glared at them all with one steely eye, and then, pressing a button on the table, said loudly, "Agent Hill! Send in the others."

"Others?" Tony folded his arms behind his head. "Did you invite the whole neighborhood? Because I really—"

Tony suddenly fell silent as Agents Romanoff and Barton appeared in the doorway. He blinked in shock.

Natasha was wearing thick blue eye-shadow and a frightening color of lipstick. Her short waves of red hair had been pulled back from her face. Two dangling earrings hung at either side of her jaw. Perhaps most startling was the dress she was sporting: black, but with a pink sash around the waist—not to mention the equally hot-pink polka dots that bespeckled the dress itself.

Clint looked even more awkward (if possible), standing in the doorway and shifting his weight from foot to foot. His hair had been gelled and spiked, and he was wearing a tux. With a purple bowtie. And matching purple gloves. Fashionable, well-polished leather shoes replaced his usual boots, but a black jacket with a SHIELD emblem on the sleeves had been thrown on over the tuxedo. His trusty bow and quiver had also been hastily strapped to his back, completing the odd ensemble.

Tony got up from his chair and extended a hand. "The name's Stark. Tony Stark. You've probably heard of me. Have we met?"

"Not funny, Stark," Clint muttered, stalking toward the table and choosing a chair at the far end. What a night he had picked to express himself, he mused bitterly. It should have been a romantic evening out with Natasha. Then the SHIELD agents had shown up, dragged them from the restaurant, and brought them here, to be gawked at by Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, and Captain Rodgers. Things could hardly get any worse.

"Oh, it's you! What's with the outfit? Did you go disco-dancing?"

Clint glowered from his end of the table.

"Lighten up, Cupid. But please, do me a favor and seek help in the fashion department."

Before Hawkeye could leap across the table and throttle Tony Stark, Natasha crossed the room, her stilettos clacking on the polished tiles, and put a hand on his shoulder, taking a seat beside her would-be date.

Director Fury cleared his throat, obviously trying hard not to stare at Natasha and Clint. "Now that we're all here, I would like to address the issue of—"

Tony's hand shot up.

Nick sighed. "Yes, Mr. Stark."

"Do you have refreshments?" he asked innocently.

Giving him an intense glare, Nick declared, "No. There are no refreshments."

"Really? Cuz I could go for some peanut-butter M&M's right now..."

"No M&M's," growled Nick.

"A Klondike Bar, then," Tony suggested.

"No."

"Chocolate Mousse Tart?"

"No."

"Lindt Truffles. Those are good."

"NO!"

"…Celery sticks?"

"Have you anything to say that pertains to the matter at hand?" demanded Nick.

"Yes. SHIELD needs to upgrade their headquarters. Even a salad bar would be an improvement," Tony grumbled. "Pepper put me on a diet and I'm hungry. Are you sure we can't have snacks?"

With a heavy sigh, Nick pushed the button on the table again. "Agent Hill? Can you bring us some soda crackers?"

"And a shawarma!" yelled Tony.

"No. No shawarma, Hill," Nick interjected. "Just the soda crackers."

"And some pasta. I didn't have time to eat dinner," groused Clint.

"No pasta, Hill."

Captain Rodgers looked up. "She doesn't happen to have any fruit loops, does she? I just found out about them last night, and I want to try some."

"No fruit loops, Hill."

"I'd like cheese whiz. Lots and lots of cheese whiz…" Natasha joked, winking at Clint who glared coldly at her.

"Shawarma! I demand a shawarma! I'm starving!"

"No, no, why don't we get fruit loops instead?"

"Shawarma for the win!"

"Cheese whiz! Cheese whiz! Cheese—ahaha, Clint, don't you dare—EEK! CLINT, STOP IT—hahahaha!"

"Pasta!"

"Shawarma! And a beer!"

"Fruit loops!"

"Shawarma!"

"Fruit loops!"

"Shawarma!"

"CHEEZE WHIZ! Hahaha, Clint, stop it, I'm ticklish!"

"Pasta! I demand pasta! I paid for a $50.00 fettucini alfredo tonight after being promised a free meal, and only got to eat two bites before your SHIELD officials dragged us up here!"

"Shawarma!"

"Fruit loops!"

"Shawarma!"

"But I really want fruit loops!"

"QUUUIIIIEEEEETTTTT!" Nick Fury's voice thundered around the office with startling force. Silence instantly fell over the room.

"Thank you." Director Fury sighed, still holding down the button on the table. "…Hill?"

"Yes, Director Fury?"

"We need some soda crackers." Nick glanced at the five hungry Avengers staring at him with somewhat perturbed expressions. "Now."

"Yes, Director Fury."

Hope you enjoyed this chapter... :)

Reviews are appreciated!

~Alassiel