herds of horses; [rory]

I'd been wandering along through a stream for a while now, it was very dark but I managed to scramble my way over roots that had made their way into the water and over fallen boulders with only a few trips and stumbles.

I knew something very strange was going on, but I didn't really need to think about that right now, I had something important to do; something important to find.

I'd lost something, or something was lost. A person, in a place. Someone important, they had to be important of course or else I wouldn't have needed to go to these sorts of lengths to find them. And I did have to find them, urgently. I had to find this person before it was too late. I didn't really understand the motives behind my actions but, I trusted whatever drove me on- trod-ding through the cold and the wet, not even minding.

I carried on walking through the river in daze. I was still wearing Ḗowyn's white nightdress but no shoes. The bottom of her nightdress was getting soaked the further along I went, I hoped she wouldn't mind. The last thing I wanted to do was offend Ḗowyn, she had been very nice to me, even if she was a bit clingy.

When it came to bed sharing, I was not a happy welsh girl. I'd have kicked her out if it hadn't been her bed, whether her uncle was the king or not. I don't share beds.

As I walked it started to rain but my spirits rose still, I knew I was close now, I could almost feel how close I was to finding whatever It was that I was looking for.

What I was looking for turned out to be very unpleasant but once I'd found the place I couldn't stop myself from trudging further and further into the horror. I couldn't stop myself from searching the bodies, the faces, seeking once face in particular.

The river was widening and the water was getting deeper, I was soon up to my knees but I carried on, unable to keep my eyes away from the massacre in front of me. There were so many men. A noise finally made me turn away from the dead men, orcs, horses...

I wasn't standing there long waiting for the sound to explain itself before a herd of horses - herd? That didn't sound right...a gaggle of geese, a flock of sheep, a swarm of bees... I'd have to find a way to ask someone that, especially if I was staying in the home of the horse lords- a herd of horses emerged from the trees to my right. They gathered stopping for a while to take in the bloodbath before them. Even from a distance I could tell how speechless they were. The rain started pouring down harder.

"Find the kings' son."

I recognized Ḗomer's voice instantly. Ḗomer was the last person I wanted to see right now. I couldn't believe what a dork I'd been that night a few days ago. Hand holding, what was I like twelve? And he'd disappeared before the next day, talk about rejection. I wish he'd just stayed mean to me, I wasn't use to all these feelings, not that I had feelings for Ḗomer. He was way too old. And hansom. And brave. And way too old.

They all dismounted quickly and started wandering among the dead, some of the younger men cried. Some of the older ones too. These were their sons and fathers, their brothers. And all I was worried about, was how embarrassed I'd be coming face to face with Ḗomer.

I was glad when they ignored me. I hung my head in shame as I trundled along out of the water towards where Ḗomer was wandering about.

"Mordor will pay for this."

I stopped again in a strop at the man's words. Words that I understood.

"Wait." I moved up towards the man standing directly behind his shoulder "You're speaking English." I followed him round, trying to get within his line of sight so he'd have to acknowledge me. He looked right through me, eyes blank, I continued talking desperate for an explanation "Like actual English. Why the hell have all of you been crap talking if you understood me the whole time? And you!" I turned in a circle trundling through puddles, tripping over rocks striding towards Ḗomer fuming,

"These orcs are not from Mordor." Ḗomer snarled kicking an orc over to get a better look at him. I remembered we were surrounded by bodies and now probably wasn't the best time, I still had someone to find, but I just couldn't help myself.

"What the hell man! I thought you were a good guy. Are you ignoring me now? How childish can you get?" He stood and turned, his eyes focused for a second on me, before moving on and settling somewhere else nearby.

"Look you at me you stupid horse man, PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" I stomped my foot angrily in front of him, but he carried on looking around the ground, searching.

"EOMER, ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!?"

"My Lord Ḗomer! Over here!"

I followed him as he turned and walked in the direction of the voice that had called him. I calmed down as I walked along, looking at the men's faces again. This place was evil and horrible and I wanted to go home. I wish Ḗomer would stop ignoring me, all I wanted to do was cry on someone. I stood behind Ḗomer as he crouched down towards a man lying in the river, he lent over turning him away from the water, turning his pale lifeless face towards holding it between his hands.

The sight made my heart hurt. It didn't just make me sad, my heart was physically throbbing, it felt like it had fallen through to my stomach and was weighing me down, threatening to pull me away into the ground, away from the world. How could I ever have forgotten about him?

I stumbles backwards into the river away from Théodred, completely submerged, I sat back up straight away, out of the river. But the water lingered around me. I breathed it in and out, I could taste it in my mouth. I peeled my eyes open in disbelief to find myself sat, legs stretched out in front of me, the water lady. Elmo's sister.

She was still smiling naturally in front of me, not a care in the world. It didn't matter to her that my life had started falling in around me. I did feel relieved that that couldn't possibly have actually really happened. I can't believe I thought that was real, that I'd just magically appeared in a stream in the woods, and carried on looking for something despite knowing what that something..-someone- was. Théodred, I can't believe even in my dreams that I'd forgotten lovely, sweet, caring Théodred.

We both sat watching each other for a little while. Her eyes were wide and excited for some reason, she opened her mouth and blew into the swirling water that surrounded us. Bubbles floated out, I watched them flying upwards and out of sight.

It was a strange sort of place to be in, there were no water flowers here anymore. It actually looked a bit like a park I knew of back in Wales, there was a fence a little way off, lots of trees and a little pond to the side of where we were sitting. One of my earliest memories was going to that park with my mother and father to feed ducks with stale bread, but there wasn't any ducks here. I finally broke the silence.

"How do you do that, how can there be a pond here? We're surrounded by water."

Magic.

Her voice sounded in my head, like it had done this time. Her lips never moved.

"...does that mean that what I just saw...was it a dream then? Did that really happen?"

a few days past prince Théodred fell
if that is how, only few now can tell

Théodred. It was suddenly much harder to get the words out than it had been a few minutes before.

"Again with the rhyming huh? Is that it then, we're just going to let Théodred die? You said I was going to save people. Théodred is people and If Théodred really is lying in a river half dead, then I have better things to do than solving your riddles."

I speak as I will and I speak as I may
only you can decide if you wake or you stay
Théodred is lying asleep in his bed
he is weak and alone after all he has bled

I hesitated torn between needing answers and wanting to find Théodred.

"I have magic...water powers..." I drifted off questioningly. Feeling stupid at even asking the question but my urgency made me push aside the idiocy I felt.

you have powers of water from ulmo the great
recall his wise words regarding your fate

I wracked my brains for a response, trying to remember some of what the water guy had said. "Um, he said something about saving people. He said...he said to save people if I could but don't change the future, and he said my family would come. But they haven't."

you can save the princes son
before the night is dead and done.
the fellowship arrive in just a few more sleeps,
toby will shock, with the company he keeps
your brother has changed what ought stay the same
he saved lives in his kindness, I cast little blame
the ring and its keeper have strayed from the rest
the fellowship is broken but not yet the quest

"Have I told you how much I enjoy our talks?" I snapped crazily, I'd rather be intimidated by Elmo than confused by his sister. "Toby...Toby has done something wrong? or Tommy... they saved lives. Of someone. Frodo and Sam have still sailed off towards Sauron-"

I was interrupted again, this time the woman looked a little sterner than she had so far, pursing her lips at me.

speak not his name for his power is growing
he sees and he hears, too much is he knowing

"...Right ok, sorry- well...my family are on their way still, that's good. Have you spoken to them? Have they dreamt of you too? Also, I don't want to seem rude but, who are you?"

I am Este of the Valar, we ruled middle earth
to places and creatures the Valar gave birth
your brothers and cousin know nothing from me
it was your blood in the cavern, only you can we see
they have knowledge as you do that much is true
though our actions and motives revolve around you
they needn't have followed you into the cave
your love makes you foolish, but selflessly brave
use my name as proof, speak to Gandalf the grey
he will advise you on what best to say...

"Ok, I'll do that...I only have one last thing before I leave again, I want to help Théodred. Please let me help Théodred, he's so kind, I can't let him die."

you know how to help him, you have done it before
the means to your method will be left on the floor
you would do well to hurry, before it is too late
beware of the wormtongue and his heart filled with hate
Théodred is fading, alone in his room.
If you sit and do nothing he will meet his doom

I spent a long time trying to wake up, sitting with Este in my dream. Blowing bubbles of my own and drawing shapes in the denser patches of the water.

I did wake finally, to find myself alone again, in Ḗowyn's bed.

It was still pitch black outside, half of the curtain had been drawn back so I could see the stars. It was raining outside, just like my dream.

I swung my legs out of bed and made for the door without hesitating. I might have forgotten about Théodred in my dreams but he sure as hell hadn't left my waking thoughts for more than a week now. I couldn't shake the image of him lying in the river, bleeding and unconscious from my head.

I snuck from my room, making for the last room Théodred and I had been in, when he'd been wandering around packing a bag and donning on armour. I can't have looked guiltier if I'd tried, lurking around the corner watching carefully as the guards spoke quickly and quietly from in front of Théodred's door. Luck was on my side, as soon as they'd finished talking and shared a pained glance they turned striding away in the opposite direction from me.

I'd managed to sneak into Théodred's room unnoticed, shutting the door quietly as I could before turning to the empty room.

He didn't look very well at all even from the doorway laying still on his bed. I took hesitant steps forwards, not sure what to do. I stopped a foot from his bed reaching to take his hand in one of mine, stroking his fingers. He lay shirtless in bed, with bloodied bandages covering most of his cuts, the blood had still soaked through around his abdomen, leaving a dark and prominent shade of red.

I took the final step to stand at his side into a puddle of water. Every few minutes there was a drip from a leaking ceiling, from the rain, landing with a plop somewhere nearby. I lost track of time standing next to his bed, my hand in his.

It reminded me of all those weeks my dad had been lying in hospital, dying slowly. All those nights we'd sat at his bed forced smiles, laughing and joking as if we didn't care that our days together were numbered.

Théodred wasn't even well enough to sit up or to open his eyes. It made me sad that we knew so little about each other and yet he meant more to me than anyone else bar my family. He'd been my first real friend like ever. That's how unfriend-able I was apparently, I couldn't speak the same language as them without being disliked.

"Ugh." I couldn't believe how selfish I was, even in my dream, I'd been surrounded by dead men and all I'd done was yell at Ḗomer, and he couldn't even see me. And now, now Théodred lay next to me, nearly dead and I was sulking out of my lack of social skills. I was so self-absorbed it made me want to scream.

I'd miss him so much...babbling constantly, hating the silence. I started speaking then, reminded of how he much he hates the silence.

"You'll never get to meet my family now, they'd have liked you so much, especially Tommy. I have two brothers you know, one of them is my twin. His name's Toby, he's such a moron, and a cousin, Minnie, she's more of a sister actually- like you and Ḗomer. Ḗowyn reminds me of her a lot, blonde hair, green eyes, they're both too pretty for their own good, that always happens doesn't it? A few girls hog all the pretty in the world and leave the rest of us with the chubby ankles and tomato noses." I took a deep breath trying to hold back the sobs building in my throat, my head hurt with all my thoughts.

"I never told you Théodred, but I'm not from around here...I don't even know if any of this is even real any more, but...but thank you, Théodred. For looking after me. I haven't been looked after in a long time. You were my prince charming- literally. You would have made such an awesome King. But...Ḗomer will make a good king too, he's going to get married in a few years...some Gondorian chick. Would ya believe it? Grumpy Ḗomer, with an actual girl. I'll leave my torch for her, to keep him in his place...Ḗowyn's going to get married too, Faramir of Gondor, he's one of the best people in Middle Earth, so you don't have to worry about her...Théodred I'm so, so sorry. I wish I could have saved you, more than anything in the whole world, and I won't ever forget you, never. Before I go home, I promise, I swear I will try my very best to save your Dad, to save Théoden. He's going to get better soon and I'm going to make sure he lives to see Ḗowyn and Ḗomer happy, like they deserve to be...I'll miss you so much Théodred..."

I could feel the water from the puddle by the bed seeping into my shoes, Ḗowyn's shoes. What did water matter anymore? Nothing mattered if it was too late, if Théodred was going to die. Este was such a liar 'you can save the princes son', yea, maybe with a time machine. I would save Théodred if I could though, I'd do anything after how lovely he'd been to me and I couldn't even take care of him back. I wish it were me lying in that bed, I wish I'd been stabbed and beaten and Théodred were off riding his beautiful horse smiling his beautiful smile and having lovely blonde babies with an elf queen or something.

I pulled the blanket up higher to his shoulders hiding his mangled chest. I couldn't bear staying here much longer, but I didn't want to leave him alone either. I lifted my hand to his face brushing his wet hair out of his eyes. I let my fingers rest on the gash on the side of his face.

I thought back to the night all those weeks ago and the cut I'd had on my head. The night I'd woken up next to Théodred- covered in blankets. I thought of how the rain had fried my skin, healing my leg, arm and face. There weren't even scars left to show for that night any more.

I wished even more now -after thinking of how easy it had been to make my own injuries better- that our places could have been reversed.

I'd let out an empty sob, that went echoing around the room and before I knew what was happening my hand that I'd left lingering on the side of Théodred's face had glued itself to his cheek. I tried pulling away to no avail. I still didn't have a clue what was going on, I barely did these days, I was on the brink of calling someone to help when a pain shot through me.

Théodred started shaking, like he was having a fit or some sort of seizure. I did yell out for someone to help him, but no one was outside the door still. My hand started shaking soon with Théodred, trembling right through my arm. I tried to ignore the pain but it was getting almost unbearable.

Théodred's face scrunched in pain the same second my hand started burning, quickly followed my face and then my chest and stomach. That was too much for me and I could hear myself wailing in agony but I couldn't stop it. It was like I wasn't in control of myself any more.

The guards returned at the sound of my cries and rushed around the side of my bed dragging me away from their prince after hesitating for a moment at the door. The relief I felt when I'd been thrown away from Théodred was indescribable. It was like I'd been paralyzed and nothing could have any impact on me. I'd fainted a few times over the last weeks and had now grown use to the sensation that was followed by total blackness.

I was determined to see Théodred's face one last time before I drifted off, managing to push off from one of my arms I rolled on my side to face his bed.

Blotches of red blurred and obscured my vision but I could make out his tossing figure lying on the mattress with his two guards scuttling around, one left the room at a run, yelling words loudly.

I closed my eyes missing a few seconds or minutes, the next thing I knew I was lying in a bed blinking some liquid from my eyes. Ḗomer was stood over me on one side fussing around in the corner, looking mightily pissed off. Frea, Grimbolds daughter was there too, and two other girls and Flyn was stood hovering behind one of the women looking horrified, but not William, which was weird because they barely left each other's sides. What was weirder was some were all covered in red, what I assumed to be blood.

Especially Ḗomer, he wasn't wearing brown armour for once but a thin white sleeved shirt with a big blotch of blood covering a patch in the middle. Messy Ḗomer.

I thought Ḗomer would have looked hansom in a colour other than brown if he hadn't been wearing such hopelessly depressing expression. Something was definitely wrong, I thought of Théodred being alone because I'd somehow hurt myself again and wanted to punch myself. No one seemed to notice that my eyes were open, I doubted they'd stay open for much longer, I could already feel them drooping again. I glanced down at myself, suddenly feeling the cold chill that ran through me. Ah, that's where all the bloods' been pouring from.

I couldn't really see how badly hurt I was, because of all the blood, but I knew it must have been pretty bad for me not to have any feeling or be able to lift as much as my head.

All my thoughts despite probably being in a life or death situation, revolved around how nearly-naked I seemed to have become. My nighty had been removed at some point and a blanket pulled up to cover my legs, leaving me wearing only my decrepit bra and knickers, which I was painfully aware had not been removed in now nearly three weeks.

Why was Ḗomer allowed to be here? And why was he covered in my blood? I couldn't feel them, but I could see his hands were pressed down firmly on my bear stomach. I tried lifting my arm to shove him away from me out of the room, but barely managed to lift my hand an inch before it flopped uselessly next to me once more.

Ḗomer looked up at me then, eyes wide and fearful. His mouth moved fast, barking something at Ḗowyn who moved closer and held my cheeks between her hands keeping my eyes on her face.

I watched her lips move, but no sound came out still. All I could do was think un-encouragingly to myself.

So this is what dying feels like, it really is painless. Scary, but painless. I wished it would happen quicker. No sooner than I had thought of how annoyingly prolonged my death seemed to be, did my eyes flutter shut against my will.

I lay there in complete black, silence with Toby on my mind. I wondered whether he felt anything right now, wherever he was. I'd read stories about twins in magazines more than once, when one twin died the other felt something was wrong or knew immediately with no sort of explanation that their twin had died. I'd always thought of Toby when I read articles like that, but I'd never thought it would happen before we've grown up, before we'd lived. I hoped he wouldn't be sad, or Tommy and Minnie. They wouldn't be able to go home without me now, they'd be stuck here forever, completely lost.

Even then I managed to find light in the blackness, I thought of what would happen once I'd finally escaped the dark. I'd never done anything worse than blaspheme in my life so I doubted I'd go to hell. I hoped the heaven here and back home were the same place, I could introduce Théodred to my Dad and Grandpa Tom.

I guess we won't be apart quite as long as I'd imagined.

Ḗomer popped back into my head too when I thought of heaven, he'd looked almost angelic with his blonde hair, standing over me in his white shirt, lips moving wordlessly.

He really was very lovely.

yikes, thanks for reviews and lots of followers, yay :) sorry i took so long to reply as well, life is busybusy, hopefully i didn't miss anyone! well, i have another chapter to upload too, to make up for my ignoring-ness,

how ya liking Rory? she still seems a bit bratty to me, so i literally may have to go and change that! theres only a few more chapters before we find out what's happened to Tommy/Toby/Minnie! ps, Toby is totally my favourite character.