I spent three nights in the dungeon. I think it was three nights anyway. The darkened days all seemed to just blur into one, and i didn't have my little mouse friend to tell me the time. I did receive two meals though.
At the time when I should have had the third, my cell door swung open to reveal Amycus Carrow. He grinned at me creepily. "You are free to leave," he sneered, handing me back my wand. "It's Monday, lessons start in ten minutes. There is no time to change, but there is time for breakfast. If you are late to class you spend another night in the cell, understand?"
I nodded numbly and ran up the stairs. Of course we wouldn't have time to change. That meant I would have to spend a day with smelly greasy hair and looking like Harry. Did I mention how much I hate the Carrow?
Neville, Ginny, Seamus and Oliver were all waiting for me in the entrance hall.
"Why are you waiting, you're missing precious eating time," I scolded.
Neville shrugged. "It's best if we all go in together. Especially if we look like this."
"Look like what?" Ginny asked. "You shrunk your hair before they took our wands off us. We won't have time to go find a mirror so I'm going to have to sort my hair out from the back if a spoon. I think I'll just keep it the way it is, less embarrassment."
I desperately tried to scrub away my 'scar' but it just wouldn't budge. The lipstick had been on my forehead for nearly four days; only a makeup wipe would remove it now.
"I'm absolutely starving," Ginny continued as we got to the entrance hall.
"I had a mouse in my cell," Neville said. "He brought me cheese and grapes from the kitchen."
"Oh I love that little guy," I grinned. "He's so cute. Although I did think I was going insane when I heard his voice."
"Me too, I was talking to myself when he first spoke. When I heard a reply I really thought I'd lost it."
We entered the great hall laughing, causing everyone to turn and stare at us in shock. They caught one look at our outfits and burst into laughter. We grinned embarrassedly and made our way down the aisle to a space on the Gryffindor table.
"Silence!" Snape commanded, taking out his wand. The hall was immediately quiet, but almost every student was still in silent shakes of laughter.
No one on the Slytherin table was though. They all glared at us, especially those in the IS. I spotted one Slytherin boy though, trying very hard not to laugh. I had never seen him before which was weird because he was about my age.
I ignored the boy and picked up a spoon, trying to see my reflection. It's was hard to see, but apart from dirt, dried blood and the outfit, I looked ok. I took off the glasses and shoved them into my pocket. For some reason, it never occurred for me to take them off sooner.
Over the next five minutes, we completely devoured the breakfast scraps in front of us, not even caring we looked like vultures. Spending time in the Dungeon meant all you had to eat was stale bread and rotting fruit. We had the right to look like scavengers.
When the bell rang for lessons to start I rose to leave like everyone else, but someone cleared their throat behind me. I spun around to find Snape towering over me just a few inches away.
"May I see you in my office," he sneered. Even though I know he was secretly good, there was something about the guy that always creeped me out.
"I can't," I answered. "The man Carrow told me i would be sent to Azkaban if I was late for class." A few people sniggered around me, not realising that I was serious.
"There will be no punishment if you get to my office now." he swept out the room, his cloak billowing behind him. I took this as my cue to follow.
When we arrived at the gargoyle, Snape didn't even say a password. He just gave it a menacing glance and it moved away. He didn't give me a second look as he strode up the staircase. I ran to keep up with him, not wanting to get into any more trouble.
The office was a lot like it was in Dumbledore's day, yet there was something quite dark and depressing about it. I sat down on the chair in front of the desk as Snape continued to stand. From the moment I sat down his eyes never left mine. After a while it became awkward but I refused to look away. He sighed in defeat and turned to face the portraits.
"It's funny, how to people can be so different, yet so similar," Snape said finally. "You're quite rude and arrogant and often do things to cause trouble." I smiled slightly to myself. "You don't care who you hurt and you can be an interfering little know it all."
He paused for a second and turned back around, but his eyes remained on the floor.
"Yet, you're just like her. The fire, the warmth that draws you in. You remind me so much like her it hurts, but i feel nothing. It's still empty."
My eyes widened and my nostrils flared in disgust. "Snape are you -"
"Headmaster," he corrected. "And no I'm not, not everyone's in love with you," he snapped. I shrugged and gave him a small smile. You had to admit, it was a dodgy conversation.
"Is there a reason why I'm here?" I asked rudely.
"Quiet or I will withdraw my offer of helping you," he commanded.
"Helping me?"
He sighed again. "I know you know."
"Know what?" He stared at me sceptically. "I honestly don't know what you're talking about. I know a lot of stuff so I probably do know, but I don't actually know what you're getting at. Ok, I'll shut up now," I said, noticing his glare.
"You know my... Situation," he cringed. "The deal between Dumbledore and I. Don't try and deny it, your occlumency is atrocious. I have never seen a mind as open as yours. Even Li..." He sighed again. "I know about your situation too, about where you're from."
"What, you're not going to tell him are you?" I stood up, but then sat back down again, feeling slightly hysterical.
"The Dark Lord has bigger things on his mind than a teenager lying to her friends," he drawled boredly. "But now down to business; they want you gone."
I snorted. "I know that headmaster. All those guys hate me."
"Will you let me finish!" he snapped. I could see in his expression that he really didn't want to help me, but for some reason he was, and I would take what I could get. I dramatically rolled my hand for him to continue.
"They want you gone. But they've seen your talent, your following. You're more valuable to the Dark Lord alive, plus there is it situation with your mother. But, they know you would never join without persuasion." I held my breath in anticipation while he paused for a breath. Snape's next words sent my world crashing down.
"They will kill Fred Weasley." I gapped at him in shock, to confused and broken to speak. "He's the deposit to show that they are serious. They'll kill the rest of your friends until you join them. Miss Weasley, Longbottom, Black. But it all starts with Weasley."
I had finally regained my voice, although it came out in a quiver. "I - I won't let them."
"What are you going to do? Take on all of his followers?" he mocked. "They cannot access him yet, but they spy on their house. It would be very easy to lure him out. There isn't a lot you can do."
"Though there is one thing," I whispered. "I have to break up with him, don't I?"
"I don't for a second think it'll work, but it worth a try. It's your only chance."
I stared at his indifferent expression for a few seconds, trying to work him out. His bored face never wavered once. "Why are you helping me?" I asked finally. He motioned to the picture of Dumbledore behind him. "No, it's not just Dumbledore. I know we kind of have a mutual hate thing but there have been times... Like when Dungbridge's stupid quills ruined my hand, you helped me."
"As I said before, you remind me of her," he said, walking over to the door and opening it. "I think it's best if you go. You were here to discuss the other night if anyone asks."
I nodded curtly. "Thanks." I whispered before going down the steps. My mind was reeling. The lump in my throat was getting bigger and bigger as the tears threatened to rim over my eyes. I tried to blink them away, not wanting to break down crying in public.
Fred was going to die. When May came around in just a few weeks, i was going to knock him out and keep him away from the battle. But the dreaded day had come sooner. He would be murdered because of me.
I couldn't break up with him; I was too selfish for that. We could run away and hide somewhere. But the Death Eaters would find us, they always did.
I sulked over to the balcony at the end of the corridor, only having eyes for the deep horizon. It was a cloudy day and not a lot could be seen. What could I do? I couldn't do anything. I was blind, and I hated it. I groaned and stomped my feet repeatedly, fisting my hair in my hands.
"Are you ok?" a voice asked from my right. My head snapped toward the Slytherin boy. He was the one who was laughing at us earlier.
"I'm fine," i snapped. Normally I would have struck up a conversation, but I just wasn't in the mood. I expected him to get grouchy, but his eyes had a familiar amused glaze to them. "What's your name kid?"
"Zaccheus, but everyone calls me Zac. Zac Scaboir," he smiled slightly.
"I thought so," I muttered.
"Do you know me or something," he asked suspiciously.
"No, but I know your brother. I only know him as Scaboir though."
"Tal?" Zac asked running closer toward me. "Is he ok? I haven't seen him since before he went to Azkaban."
"Well, last time I saw him was Christmas and he seemed ok then."
Zac exhaled happily, his face lightening up significantly. "You really miss him," I stated.
He looked down. "Well he's all I have le-" he cut off, as though he had said too much.
"It's ok, he told me about your family. I'm really sorry." I sounded insincere, but he understood that I did actually mean it.
I could hear footsteps approaching from around the corner so I gave him a wave goodbye before scurrying away to transfiguration.
Talking to Zac had gotten my mine of the Fred situation for a while, but the heavy feelings had returned worse than before. And Like before, the tears began to form in my eyes. I hadn't even reached the grand staircase when they escaped and began to fall down my face. I roughly wiped them away and walked down the steps quickly.
The footsteps from before we closer now and I couldn't risk going back to the jail. I sighed heavily before knocking on Professor McGonagall's door. As usual, I didn't wait for a response before creeping the door open.
"Sorry, I'm late Professor. I was with Headmaster Snape." I practically sneered his name. Even though he had tried to help me, part of me wished he hadn't.
"Are you ok Miss Tonks?" McGonagall asked. The entire class turned to face me with questioning eyes. Ginny's stood out the most, but I couldn't look at her.
"I'm fine," I said with a small smile. McGonagall didn't believe a word of it, but she motioned for me to take me seat by Ginny.
"What's going on," she hissed. "You've been crying, your eyes are all red and puffy."
"I'm fine," I said again. "I'm just upset about my Uncle Ted."
She gave me a small reassuring smile before turning back to the lesson. It was on Animagi, something we had done in fourth year. This unfortunately meant my mind had plenty of time to wander. But there was only one thing on my mind: what to do?
These people were Slytherins. They may not look bright, but they were cunning, evil, and didn't stop at nothing until they reached their goal. I knew they would try and poach me, but I never thought it would be so soon and so serious. Would they really threaten to kill a family of pure bloods just to get at me?
Of course they would. My mother was behind this, I was sure of it. She hated me and wanted me miserable. Just like her own sad, pathetic life.
"Miss Tonks, will you answer the question," Professor McGonagall asked. I looked at her with a small guilty smile. "Name an animal which one can become an Animagus."
"Erm... A cat?" was this a trick question.
McGonagall smiled at me fondly. "Correct twenty points for Gryffindor."
My eyes widened as she gave me a cheeky grin. Strict, stern Professor McGonagall just winked. For the first time in days I gave a genuine smile. I knew it would be a long time before I saw another
:-:
For the rest of the week, I distanced myself from everyone else. I kept to my grieving excuse but after the second day, they knew something was wrong.
They realised though, whatever was wrong I didn't want to be around people. They left me be. Something I was both annoyed and grateful for.
Distancing was part of my plan though. If the Death Eaters figured that I didn't care for my friends, they wouldn't use them as pawns in their stupid little game. I also realised that I had to breakup with Fred. If I made out I didn't love him anymore, they might deem him useless to hunt down. But when, where and how would I do it.
As much as he didn't seem it, Fred was actually very smart. He would know something was wrong if one day I just went up to him and demanded a break up.
I would literally have to tear into him. But could I be that mean to him. This was by far the most difficult thing I had ever done. I would never mock Edward Cullen again. Ok, I probably would. My situation was ten times worse than his.
On the train ride home for Easter, I was actually happy about the silencing charm. There was no need for idle chatter and I could just mope in peace.
But when we arrived at the station, Ginny gave me a worried glare when I said I would not be joining her at The Burrow.
"It's just I haven't spent any time with Sirius, Tonks and Remus in ages. I think I need to go home."
"Home?" Ginny asked sceptically. "You've lived with us for almost a year. Your house burnt down, remember. Besides, what about Fred."
It was my turn to tut and roll my eyes. "He can last a day without me, can't he."
If it wasn't for my conversation with Snape, I would have apparated into his arms that instant. This was going to be hard. I could barely freeze Ginny out; Fred was going to be impossible.
"How am I supposed to get home?" Ginny demanded.
I huffed heavily. "Fine, I'll take you to the end of the lane. I can't stop though, I patronused Sirius and told him I would be there in thirty seconds," I lied.
Once I had dropped Ginny off, I apparated straight to Tonks' Mothers house. As soon as I landed, the door swung open to reveal an angry Sirius pointing his wand at me.
"Who are you?"
"I'm Ally, you douche." I tried to push past him but he wouldn't budge. I sighed again and brattily tapped my foot impatiently.
"Tell me something only I would now," he demanded.
"You got off with Verity, you snore, your animagus and patronus is a dog," I reeled off.
"Any Death Eater would know that," he said, pointing his wand at my head. "What's my favourite book?"
"Favourite book? I thought you hated Reading," I asked sceptically. He grinned and lowered his wand, pulling me into a large warm hug.
"Trick Question. And you passed."
"Whoopee," I said monotonously. He nudged me hard as he led us in to the living room.
"I wasn't expecting to see you. Why aren't you at The Burrow?"
"Because..." I grumbled. He narrowed his eyes at me.
"What's going on?" he asked. I pulled out of his arm and flung my arms in the air.
"Nothing's wrong. Will people please stop asking."
"Ok fine, forget I said anything," he said, noticing it was a touchy subject for me. "So are you going to stay here then?"
"I don't know. I need to ask Tonks' mom, where is she?"
"She's out getting supplies for Tonks. It's going to have to be a home birth. I swear the girls doubled in size since Christmas. She's ready to blow any day now. You should see Moony, he's absolutely terrified." I smiled as he laughed loudly.
"What are you laughing about," Remus voice called from the hall. "Have you finally - Ally, what are you doing here?"
"Nice to see you too Remus," I said, pulling him into a hug.
"Ally was wondering if she could stay here for a few days," Sirius told him in a not so subtle voice.
"Why is something wrong at the Burrow?" I could see Sirius frantically telling him to shut up, but I ignored him. Plastering a fake smile on my face, I pulled out of the hug.
"No, I just wanted to see you guys and Tonks." He gave me the same disbelieving look that everyone else had given me.
Remus led me up to the spare room. As I was technically family, he didn't think Mrs Tonks would mind. When she got home, she seemed very happy to have me and said I could stay as long as I needed.
For the first three days of the holiday, I never spoke to anyone outside of the house and even then it was only when necessary. On the Tuesday, Sirius went to help the Weasley's move into Aunt Muriel's house after Ron had been spotted at Malfoy Manner. I hoped everything went to plan there and I prayed that little Dobbie was still alive.
Sirius returned that evening looking happy, but yet gaunt and serious at the same time.
"Get ready, Fred's taking you out tonight," he said, as soon as he came into the house.
"I can't, I'm helping Tonks," I fluffed her pillow for dramatic effect. He rolled his eyes.
"Go, they've told me that you've been avoiding them. Tonks is fine here, aren't you?"
She nodded happily. "Yeah Al, you've been great help, you deserve a night off."
I glared angrily at the floor. I hated been ganged up on. "Is it fancy?" Sirius nodded. I groaned. "I'll go." I stomped out the room and went upstairs to get changed.
I had been putting this moment off ever since I had arrived, but I couldn't lead him on any longer. I had to break up with Fred. I really couldn't be bothered to get changed, but if Fred was to believe the whole 'I'm a complete bitch who doesn't love you' persona, I had to look stunning.
I wore my Bridesmaids dress from Tonks and Remus' wedding, but altered the hem so it fell just above the knee. Once my hair was up and makeup was on, I apparated straight to Aunt Muriels without even saying goodbye to Sirius.
It was a very large, but very old house. I had already been there once before so I had no need to admire its gothic beauty. I looked out in to the wood by the house and knew that the Death Eaters were watching; they always were.
I was shaking as I walking up the porch and rang the doorbell. I was immediately confronted with Ginny's happy face. She pulled me into a bone crushing hug.
"I'm so glad you're here, I was afraid you weren't going to show up. I know you've been going through a tough time and everything, so if you need anything, I'm here." she was being too happy and kind. She probably didn't want to upset me even more. Why was she so sweet. I would definitely not be able to do this. I hugged her tightly back. It would probably be the last time I hugged her.
"Jesus Gin, let her breathe," Fred said coming into the hallway. I let go of Ginny and flung myself into his arms.
"You look beautiful," he whispered. I couldn't look at him. I just stood there in his arms, not wanting to ever let him go. But he would die if I didn't.
"Ready to go?" he asked. I nodded curtly before going back outside.
"Have fun," George and Charlie chorused from the living room, giving us weird grins.
As soon as the front door was closed I realised I couldn't do it. I couldn't pretend for an entire night, it wasn't fair on Fred. He grabbed my hand ready to apparate but I pulled away.
"What's wrong have you -"
I threw myself at him, crashing my lips to his. He put his arms around my lower back as I pulled myself closer to him. This would be the last time I kissed him, and I wanted to savour every bit. His scent, his touch, the last of this lips...
I completely forgot everything as I lost myself in the kiss. I parted my lips and wound my hands around his neck as his Tongue grazed my lip. I had to pull away though, it wasn't right. Fred looked very pleased though and held a flushed red tinge to his cheeks.
"I don't want to go now," he smiled, stepping closer. I took a step back. "What's wrong?"
"We need to talk," I said seriously. "Last week I realised that -"
"You're not pregnant are you?" he rushed forward and put his hand over my stomach. He looked worried, but there was a happy glint to his eyes. It broke my heart, but I had to keep up the facade. I swatted his hand off me, and stepped further away.
"No, of course not." I thought for a moment, not having a clue how to begin. "What are we doing here?" I asked finally in a very small voice.
"We're going out," he said obviously.
"Please be serious for once in your life," I snapped. "We're together for a day, have pure meaningless sex and then spend months apart moping." he muttered something about not being meaningless but I had to ignore him. "This isn't healthy."
"I know we spend a lot of time apart, but I'm happy."
My eyes widened. "You're happy?"
"You're not?" he seemed pretty shocked.
"Of course I'm not I'm bloody miserable. There's no fun or fire, it's just moping and fights." I motioned around wildly between us.
"Well that's what tonight was for," he said, starting to get a little impatient. "Let's go and have some fun."
He grabbed my hand again, but I pulled away. "Aren't you getting what I'm saying. I'm bored of this, bored of you," I said harshly. "I tried to be nice, but let's just face it, you were right." I sighed heavily. "I guess I just liked you because you were forbidden or whatever. And these past few months have made me realise I'm a lone wolf who should be tied down."
I wiped away a tear that had managed to escape and looked back up to him. His eyes were sad and dull, my heart broke even more. I just wanted to hug him tightly, and tell him that I loved him. But I couldn't.
"We can do more things. I can come and visit you, you can come and visit me..." he trailed off.
"We're too different," I reasoned loftily.
"Different? We're exactly alike. We're even standing in the same way; both flopping our arms around." it took everything in me not to smile.
"We're very different and you know it." I sighed as I readied myself to become the biggest bitch in the world. "I'm more studious and intelligent and you're a bit of a goof. I'm younger, more fun, beautiful, living around where ever. You're just like 'whatever'.
You're living with your aunt and even before then you lived in the tiny house that you grew up in. I'm very high maintenance and need someone to support my needs. You can't do that."
He looked as though he had just been punched in the face. "So you're breaking up with me because I'm poor?" I stayed silent, tears flowing thick and fast now. "Jesus Al, when they hell did you get so snooty. It's not like you're a high roller yourself!"
"Listen, I'm not blaming you or anything. You're poor, that's your thing and you obviously like all living together and having hand me downs. But it's just not me."
He was mad, and rightly so. The muscle in his jaw was twitching, making him look so hot. I hated what I was doing, I just wanted to stop. But if I was to do this, I had to go the whole mile.
"Listen, you and you're family are sweet people. At times a little overbar-"
"You dare bring them into this," he said, waving a threatening finger in my face. This time I didn't step back. "Why are you doing this? Why have you suddenly changed? And don't you fucking dare give me the whole 'i realised' excuse because it's bullshit!"
I had never heard Fred swear like that before. Ever.
He put his hands on the back of his head and started to walk away. But he then changed his mind and came back toward me. He pulled out a small little box out of his pocket and handed it to me. Oh no, not this.
"Open it," he demanded, his eyes watering slightly. I didn't move. "Ally, open it!" he practically screamed. With shaky hands and tears streaming down my face, I opened the tiny box. My vision was blurred, but I could still see the most beautiful engagement ring I had ever seen.
"I was going to propose tonight," he said monotonously. I pursed my lips and looked up, trying to shake the tears away. He snatched the box off me and shoved it back into his pocket. He sighed and looked at me sadly.
"You know, despite everything. I would still marry you in a heartbeat. A pretty stupid sentiment, right?" he laughed bitterly.
"Yeah, stupid, pathetic, a bit like you really. Oh wait no, that didn't come out right." I had to admit, I took it a step to far. Fred's angry and heartbroken face returned.
"Just leave Ally," he muttered. I gave him a small weak smile as my eyes began to overflow with tears.
"I'm so sorry," I said earnestly. I gave him one last longing glance before apparating away. I didn't even care where I went. I didn't think about it, I just apparated.
I landed in front of the remains of the country house. I made my way over to the tire swing and flopped down onto it.
I tried to tell myself that by hurting Fred I had saved him. But in reality I had just made both of us and the rest of the Weasley's miserable.
I thought of all the memories on this swing; with Harry, with Sirius, finding out about Tonks and Remus, Seamus, when Fred comforted me...
I tried to swing on the tire but it would barely move. This time I had no one there to push me. I had pushed them all away. I was alone.
Sorry if there are any mistakes. I just wanted to get this up quickly before I go on holiday.
Thank you for all of the reviews. Aerilynblack, flowelle, KnoX,Georgie Monsoon, Constant Day Dreeamer19, DaughterofApollo426,Acidpops24,Magicrazy101, Spot'sGalFrom1899, Tonks. Loves. Moony, Jessxx, Blue is the Sea, InsaneIsMyMiddleName, writer. Of. The. Gods, Fay-Faerie (I'm an American, but I moved to England last year. But I like your idea of it being part of the story. Lets do that : ) 2featherBraids, ChaygraceDaya, AnimatedAbbie, GingerBiscuit1, BlackHaru3 and FredAndGeorge'sAwesomeness.
Thanks for reading, let me know what you think : )