I'm trying to get this story done before I have to start some serious studying. So hopefully I can finish it by the end of the week, if not please be patient with me. Also thanks for the awesome reviews!

Andy

I couldn't believe Sam came by and apologized. I was so surprised and in way relieved. Sam and I may never go back to what we were but at least we can move forward and act civil around each other.

I still haven't fully forgiven him for how much he hurt me but I'm no longer filled with anger.

Sitting at home I feel restless, I'm used to having something to do and I can't wait to get back to work. I check through all my mail, my bills were taken care of while I was under but still have the rest to go through. I had a ton of voicemails, mostly from my friends and my parents.

I stopped by to see my dad and I was happy to see he's doing well. He looks better and happier than he has in years. His new "lady friend" is good for him and she's got him involved in a whole bunch of old people activities. He's having fun.

I also called my mom and she stopped by for a quick visit. She was upset that I left without telling her but was glad I got away for a few months. She asked about Sam and I didn't tell her anything. She kept telling me I need to get out there and start dating again, to forget about Sam. I was a little annoyed with her because she left me without a word and I can honestly say she hurt me far more than Sam ever did but she expected me to forgive her. She's got double standards, I may have asked her for advice before but that was at my lowest moment. I've had time to think and realized she's not the best person to get advice from.

I haven't had a chance to catch up with Traci yet. She's been busy with work and most of her nights were spent with Leo. We were planning to go running the day after tomorrow and then make lunch at my place. I stocked up on groceries and wine just for that day.

My visit with the shrink was a waste of time in my opinion. The first session was her asking how I'm doing and stuff. The stipulation is I have to see her for the next month if I want to return to active duty. So I'll put up with her for now.

Nick and I grabbed dinner the night before our first day back. I didn't need a shrink I have Nick to talk to about everything. We had a great time; somehow that guy always manages to make me laugh. I told him about my talk with Sam and he was surprised about that. He said sometimes to move on with life we need to forgive and forget. He talked about how much he had hurt Gail in the past and how he's glad she decided to give him another chance. Those two have a history worse than Sam and I. I asked how he and Gail were doing since he got back from UC and he said things were great.

I can totally rely on Nick to be brutally honest and I'm so glad we've become such good friends.

I woke up the next day ready to face anything. I was stoked to be back with my friends. I wonder what has changed at 15.

In the locker room I find Gail talking to the new lady Cruz I saw at the takedown and I said hello and quickly changed into my uniform. I wonder who Frank will pair me with today; I really hope it's not Sam. I don't think I can handle riding with him my first day back, maybe in a month or so I can handle it.

I run to the parade room and find that Nick has saved a seat for me. There are some new faces; some look young and eager so I'm assuming they're rookies. Frank is talking to one in front of the room. I ask Dov who is sitting in front of me who all the new faces are. He informs me that are four new rookies and one of them happens to be Frank's goddaughter and points to the girl in the front talking to him. That should be interesting. He goes on to tell me that Marlo Cruz transferred over from SWAT and is now one of the T.O's. He would have gone on to tell me more if Nick hadn't tapped me on the shoulders to make some joke. I leaned into him as he told me about something Gail told him.

I felt someone watching me and I looked back to see Sam standing in the back next to Traci. I was surprised because he wasn't wearing his uniform. I wonder what that's about and before I can ask Dov Frank called us to attention.

Frank congratulated Nick and me on a job well done and I felt proud to be recognized. For once I hadn't screwed up and actually did something to overshadow my dad's failures.

I got up quickly and caught up with Traci once Frank dismissed us. She was up to the doorway as I grabbed her arm. She was walking towards the break room.

"Hey Traci…quick question why isn't Sam in uniform?"

"Oh you didn't hear, Sam became a detective.""

"He's a detective? What? No way…that's something I would've never thought he wanted to do."

To say I was surprised was putting it mildly but as Traci and I reached the break room I was in for an even bigger surprise.

Sam and Cruz were kissing. I was so confused. This was the new woman in his life he was talking about and they were kissing in the break room?

He brushed past Traci and I with a mumbled excuse may. Marlo just looked sheepish and walk out soon after with Traci and me standing there feeling stunned. I turned to Traci and she just shrugged and shook her head. She looked as confused and surprised as I felt.

I heard Chris calling my name to hurry up. I turned to Traci and said "We'll talk later."

I ran to catch up with Chris and decided to let him drive. There was a lot I needed to process and I couldn't drive while doing that.

I made chitchat with Chris about how he was doing. He was proudly talking about his son. I tuned him out as I thought about all I discovered this morning.

Sam Swarek became a detective. Wow I never expected that. He was proud of wearing the uniform and loved being out on the street. He lived for that rush and now he's voluntarily behind a desk? Had Sam changed that much while I was gone?

And that scene with that woman Cruz. What the hell? Sam was never about showing PDA; he was a little shy about stuff like that. The thing was seeing that kiss was awkward, they didn't look comfortable with each other, didn't feel natural.

I felt like I was in a twilight zone and nothing was the way I expected.

The day was kind of boring and I felt a little let down about it. What was the point of being back with just a boring day?

We got back to the station and when I looked for Traci I saw that she was busy. I had a feeling she wasn't leaving anytime soon. There was no point in me waiting around so I looked for Nick to see if he wanted to head for the Penny. I caught up with him and Gail as they were heading out, I wanted to tell him about Sam but didn't want to say anything in front of Gail. But once at the Penny there was no opportunity to talk to Nick alone.

Our table had Nick, Gail, Dov and Chloe the new girl aka the goddaughter. Dov looked uncomfortable having her there. He kept looking at the door like he was ready to bail.

So I decided to ask Dov if he was leaving any time soon and if it was ok if I caught a ride home with him. He seemed to jump at the chance and looked at me with gratitude.

I linked arms with him as we walked to his car and I asked what was up with him and the new girl.

"I did something dumb with her when I first met her and then I found out she's Frank's goddaughter. She said Frank can find a reason to fire me if he ever found about our one dumb mistake."

I had to laugh because Dov looked so miserable but goofy. I reassured him that he would be fine.

We chatted about all the changes at 15 until he stopped in front of my house. I sure had missed a lot and I was starting to feel left out.

I couldn't wait for my afternoon run with Traci, I hope she hadn't changed too much in the time I was gone.

I woke up bright and early the next morning, I was eager to run and get all this excess energy out. Traci and I met at the park near my house.

We ran for about 3 miles and then stopped to stretch by a row of benches.

"So you're back. What's it like?"

"I don't know. Same I guess. You know what's really cool? Sam's new girlfriend!"

"oh no…I didn't know"

"I figured as much when I saw the surprised look on your face. But he did tell me about her my second night back. I just didn't expect her to be a cop and from 15."

"Wait he did? You talked to Sam when you got back?"

"Yeah we actually had a serious talk. He apologized for how he treated me and asked if we would be civil towards each other."

"Oh wow I'm surprised. Swarek actually apologized! So what you think of his new girlfriend?"

"Well it's not like I know her and I have nothing against her."

"Oh please don't give me that bs."

"Ok ok…I'm a little upset and would've liked to have hurt someone but I'm the one who decided to let Sam go after he asked for a second chance. I've got no right to hold onto him."

"Wait wait hold up. He asked for a second chance? When did this happen? Girl you got some explaining to do!"

"The night I left for the task force. Sam said he loved me and said he would do everything for me until I gave him a second chance. He wanted me to meet him for a drink at the Penny that night but I left for the task force instead."

"Wow! So you left without letting him know?"

"Yeah I just wanted a clean break. I was given the perfect chance."

"Do you regret the decision?"

"Nah not really, it's something I needed to do."

We decided to table the discussion until we got back to my place. I opened a bottle of wine and we put together a simple pasta dish. When we sat down to eat we resumed out earlier converstation.

"So you and Swarek are completely done?"

"Yeah I think so."

"You sure? You guys have been love with each other for so long and I thought you two were perfect together. Take it from someone who will never have a second chance, grab hold of every moment you have. Swarek is here, he's alive. He was a complete jerk to you but I know you Andy and you haven't stopped loving him and I don't think he's stopped loving you."

"I don't know Trace. We've hurt each other too much. I didn't know how I was going to survive when he broke up with me. I can't just forget all that and act like it never happened."

"I'm sorry Andy I wasn't here for you during that. I feel so bad."

"Traci don't even think for a moment I held it against you. For heaven's sake you were grieving! The man you loved died so the last thing I expected was for you to worry about me."

Looks like Traci and I were getting right to the point. There was no point beating around the bush.

We talked things through and I realized Traci is still hurting. She's trying to figure out how to go on without Jerry. Outside her son, he was her life. I can't imagine dealing with loss like that, I remembered how much it hurt when Sam broke up with me but imagine having the one you love die.

We laughed and joked, she told me some funny stories that happened while I was gone. She filled me in on the gossip about Chris and Denise (many have doubts that the kid is his), about Oliver and Zoe trying to fix their marriage, Frank and Noelle's daughter and how everyone is making bets on when Frank will propose. She also filled me in on what she had heard about Marlo Cruz.

"Apparently she's been a cop for 8 years and was with SWAT for most of that time. She got hurt on some big hostage situation and decided to transfer out. Word on the street is she's hiding a secret past and she is a go-getter, eager to do her job. But I haven't had to work with her yet."

"I wonder how she and Sam met. That kiss between them looked so awkward and weird."

"OH MY GOSH! I thought the same exact thing. They make such an awkward couple. I think they're both fooling themselves. I don't think they'll last that long."

We speculated some more about their relationship. I'm glad Traci and I are on the same page.

Nothing beats hanging out with your best friend. My life may be confusing and I'm still trying to find my way but I'm so glad to have such great people around me.