Sam

I barely got any sleep the night before so now I'm dragging myself off to work while wishing I could've gotten at least an hour or two more. McNally comes back and my mind gets all twisted I get there I avoid everyone and hide out at my desk. I pop two aspirins and hope for the best.

Traci comes and just gives me a look before getting on with her work. Oh no its one of those scrutinizing looks. Wonder what I did now. Women! Sometimes I just don't get them. Maybe that's why it's better to just avoid them.

But it looks I won't be able to do that since McNally calls us out to a scene. So Traci and I arrive at a local hardware store that has two bodies, both of them been shot with a shotgun. Crime scene guys collect evidence while Traci and I talk to people in the neighborhood. Once we've taken statements we head back to the office.

Traci is on the phone trying to see if she can get an id for the two victims. McNally comes to tell us she found where the owner of the store lives. We need to go questions him ASAP.

"Wanna take a ride?" I ask McNally

"Sure but I'll drive."

Once in the car we both look ahead in awkward silence and so I start asking her questions about the guy we're about to go talk to.

"The owner's name is Brent Sayer. He's 35, Caucasian with dark hair, dark eyes, about 5'6''. Been arrested for robbery, assault and possession. Criminal with varying talents. He's owned the hardware store for about a year now. But from what the neighbors say there's been some interesting happenings at the store, they've all been suspicious but no one says anything because it's not the best of neighborhood. Everyone just tries to mind their own business."

We get to the address and its run down old apartment building. We head upstairs to unit 305. We knock but no response but there's a faint smell of smoke coming from inside.

"You smell that? Smells like something's burning"

McNally and I look at each other, draw our weapons and kick down the door.

The place is a pig sty. There on the coffee table was what looked like cocaine. We look for the source of smoke and find in the sink a pile of charred but smoking papers. It looked like someone was in a hurry to get rid of something. This means we must've missed whoever had been here by only a few minutes. Damn our timing sucks.

I tell Andy we need to find out if Sayer owns a vehicle and to put out an APB on it. As we go down the stairs, she says he owns a tan 1998 ford passenger van and reads out the plate number. As we turning down the street I tell Andy to slow, I see a tan van on my left side a street over. We make a turn and get close enough to see the plate and they match the ones that are registered to Sayer's van. All of a sudden the van comes to a stop and turns into our direction. Before we can even get out of the car, bullets start flying.

These idiots are shooting at us. McNally quickly opens her door and slides out and I'm right behind her.

We take cover on the side of the car.

"First shift with you and I'm already getting shot at."

"Yeah yeah you missed me."

I have to say I have missed her. There's no one else like McNally.

I just laugh as McNally calls for back up but it seems someone must've heard the gunshots and called the cops because we hear sirens heading in our direction.

The shooting has stopped and I look to see the two men from the van take off running. I help McNally up and we start running after them. We make a quick decision to split up and I take the guy that looks like Sayer. Luckily the idiot trips and I'm able to grab him up quickly. I read him his rights and quickly cuff him. I drag him along to the direction I saw McNally run and I see she's taking cover behind the side of the highway underpass as shots are being fired. The other suspect is crouched behind a car. As Sayer and I get closer to McNally I bullet whizzes right by me and so I quickly shove the guy behind one of the pillars and take out my gun to start shooting back. McNally looks back to me and I nod my head indicating for her to move in closer while I provide cover. Another squad car had arrived during all this and Diaz and Ollie are there to provide additional cover.

McNally manages to get close enough to shoot the suspect in the foot causing him to drop his gun.

I hand my suspect off to Diaz while I move along to where McNally is making the arrest. The guy she shot in the foot is screaming bloody murder and cursing at McNally.

We call the guy an ambulance and take Sayer back to the division. He's in a load of trouble.

When we question Sayer we finally manage to find out the guy has been selling drugs and weapons out of this store and there was a fight that broke out between two of his clients. He rolled on some guys he's been buying his merchandise from and I gotta say this guy is a piece of work.

After all this I sit down at my desk to get some paper work done. It's been a hell of a long day. But being out in the field with McNally made me realize nothing is working out the way I want it to. That girl still got me all twisted up, things I had thought I'd dealt with and there's no way I can be in another relationship without resolving all the confusion inside me.

Marlo is great and all but I've been thinking for months that if I get my life in order and just push McNally to back of my mind everything will work out. Boy was I wrong. I'm not ready for a relationship with anyone. I can deal with being single. I did it for over two years.

I need to talk to Marlo tonight. As I head out I look around for her and I find her sitting in one of the interrogation rooms looking miserable.

"Hey you ok?"

"Yah just been a really long day"

"It's more than that..."

"Just this guy that we picked up today. Some of things he said hit home and sometimes I wonder what I'm doing."

"Ah you're not the only one trust me. Look we really need to talk but I can see that this is not a good time."

"You wanna break it off don't you?"

"Ah…look lets save this talk for when you're in a better place."

"No…No…let's not drag this along. Sam you're a great guy but I don't think you're my guy. I think I recognized a bit of myself in you when we first met. We made to be friends not lovers. We're each other's safe choice. We both got some things we need to resolve and we thought pretending it was ok by getting into another relationship was the way to deal with it. But I think we both know that's not the solution. We're better off as friends."

"Look I'm sorry. You really are great. You're a strong woman and I admire you for that. You're right. I don't think either of us is ready for a relationship right now. I'm always here for you if ever need anything. Come on let me walk you to your car. One of these days you'll tell me your story. Everyone needs a friend they can rely on and talk to about the shit in their lives."

"One piece of advice Sam. You're a tough guy who has a hard time expressing his feelings and right now you're feelings are all over the place. Don't just move on without resolving any of it. You need to change, be more open. A woman doesn't want to be with a man who refuses to open up, especially a woman like McNally. I think with her it's all or nothing. She won't accept anything less than complete honesty."

"Thanks and remember if you ever need a friend…"

We walk out the door together and we stop in front of her car.

"Swarek I may take you up on that offer. Right now can you just give me a hug? I really need one after the day I've had."

I drop my gym bag and grab her to give her a tight hug. Whatever happened today plus our conversation has really taken a toll on her. There's a deep sadness etched all over her face and I can't help but give her an extra comforting squeeze. What I said is true, everyone needs someone to rely on and we both could use a friend right now.

I have some serious thinking to do. I don't wanna turn out like my dad, keeping everything bottled in and pushing away those who truly loved him and at the end dying alone.