There was no point in making a scene – or at least, no point in making an even bigger one than he already had – so Alistair allowed Oghren to take him back to his cabin. Only once the door was closed behind them did he finally turn and look at the dwarf. "All right... tell me what's going on. Why am I on this ship," he demanded.
Oghren sat down on the bench. "You remember a really nasty cocktail you drank out of a big silver goblet a few years back? Being told you were a Grey Warden from that day forth?"
Alistair's mouth thinned angrily. "Of course I do. It was the proudest day of my life. But I stopped being a Grey Warden the day Solona showed me just how little the honour of being a Grey Warden meant to her..."
"Honour! Hah!" Oghren exclaimed, sounding disgusted. "You sure you joined the same order I did? The one filled with the conscripted dregs of society, with a salting of glory hounds? Being a Grey Warden has nothing to do with anything as senseless as honour, boy. And it's not something you can stop being; it's what you are, like it or not, from the moment you touched cup to lips."
Alistair set his jaw stubbornly. "You're wrong! People compete for the chance to be a Grey Warden..."
"Only the glory-blind fools. Come on, Alistair, you can't be that naive; not after being a warden for even as few months as you were before you high-tailed it for the hills with your tail tucked between your legs. Most wardens are either criminals or desperate or both. Way more of them are conscripted on their way to the executioner's block or the gallows than ever join voluntarily, and even most of the volunteers are far from being the most upright members of society."
"Oh yeah? What does that make you then?" Alistair snarled.
Oghren smiled crookedly. "As big a fool as any other. Come on, you knew me back when – I was hardly a shining example or anything like that, now was I? I was a drunken, heart-broken fool and running from my responsibilities when I joined up," he said, then paused briefly, an odd expression crossing his face for a moment. "Smartest thing I ever did, in retrospect. Anyway, now you're the one who's been being a drunken, heart-broken fool. But like it or not, you're also still a Grey Warden, and it's time for you to get back to what that really means; duty. Duty, and responsibility, and a damn shitty job that no one else can or will do, until it kills you. Welcome home, kid," he said, then pushed himself back to his feet. "I'll go get you something to eat. Try not to get lost between the door and the bed," he added, and abruptly left.
Alistair wavered for a moment, thinking of leaving the cabin a second time... only what was the point? It wasn't like he could jump overboard and swim back to shore. He was stuck on this ship until it made port, and really, he had little interest in seeing or talking to anyone else aboard. He went and climbed back into the bed, turning his back on the room, only grunting acknowledgement when Oghren returned with food.
"Fine, be that way. I'll just leave it here on the floor," Oghren said, sounding irritated, and left again.
Alistair remained where he was for a while, until the growling of his stomach reminded him of just how long it had been since he'd eaten. Finally he sat up and fetched the tray Oghren had left on the floor near the door, holding a large bowl of fish-and-potato stew, a big hunk of coarse bread split and spread with some strong-flavoured sharp cheese – goat's milk, he thought – a large mug of strong sweet tea, and a handful of dried fruit – mostly prunes, with a couple slices of dried apple and one of pear, and a single dried black fig. He inhaled the soup and bread, then returned to his bunk with the tea and fruit, wondering as he lay down again just how hard it would be to get away from Loghain and his wardens once they reached land.
Probably not very easy, he found himself thinking. Not unless he picked his moment very carefully, so that he could be well beyond range of Grey Warden senses before they even realized he was gone. And then he'd have to outpace any possible pursuers for as long as it took to make good his escape. Loghain was Arl of Amaranthine, which meant it would likely be very difficult to leave Ferelden by that port, but he could always head south to Denerim. West to Highever was also a possibility, or even further west, into Orlais. Though that would mean passing close to Jader, an idea he didn't like, as there was a Grey Warden establishment there are well, and he had no interest in putting himself into the hands of the Orlesians.
He napped for a while, until Oghren returned yet again to remove the empty tray. "Any chance of a drink?" he asked. "I could really use a beer or two about now."
Oghren just gave him a look. "No. You can have all the fresh water or tea you want, but it's time for you to crawl back out of the bottle. I'll be back later this evening with your supper," he added, and left.
Alistair stared at the door, then returned to his bunk with a muttered curse.